Page 1055

The Difference Between Giving Up on Love And Letting It Go

September 25, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Maybe you just got out of a bad relationship and need closure, or maybe you started giving up on love a long time ago. Whatever your situation, maybe this perspective we will provide about love can help you on your journey. Love can feel like a battlefield, an all-out war against your happiness. It can feel like the highest cloud or the deepest cut in your soul. It can feel liberating or suffocating.

We all want love, but sometimes, we forget that love comes with a cost. It doesn’t just mean butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, it means blood, sweat, and tears. It means sacrifice and commitment, courage and compromise. It means being willing to stand on the front lines and show up in your most authentic form. Sometimes, the magnitude of what love entails can overwhelm us, causing us to retreat and give up on it altogether.

We naturally want to run from pain, but when it comes to love, we can’t shut out the discomfort forever. We can’t forever lock ourselves in a room with steel walls and shelter ourselves from the entire world. While love can hurt, it can also heal. It can break your heart, but it can mend it, too. No matter your stance on love, hear us out for a second.

What’s the difference between giving up on love and letting it go?

Okay, we will start with the former – giving up on love. Giving up means shutting yourself out. It means backing away from any possibility of love instead of convincing yourself that true love doesn’t exist. It means accepting a life of hate and loneliness because when you give up on the idea of love, you give up on hope. You accept that love doesn’t exist, so you settle for less. You settle for feeling a constant hole in your chest, for feeling numb and lifeless. Without love, we cannot survive. So, when you give up on it, you die a slow, painful death. You end your life while still existing on this planet, and that seems far worse than actually dying.

None of us can truly wrap our heads around love because we don’t have all the answers. However, we have bodies with arms that we long to wrap around someone else. We have hearts that long for connection, intensity, and passion. We have our breath that we long to share with another. And we have stories on the tips of our tongues that need telling, and deep down, we desire someone to open up to. We want someone to hear us, to know us, to understand us. Usually, we want that someone in totality, in an all-encompassing way. We want romance, commitment, safety, and honesty.

We want someone to make us feel comfortable, to make us feel like love doesn’t have to be complicated. So why do we turn our backs on this possibility when we all desire much more?

More than 7 billion people live on this planet, and right now, many feel broken-hearted, scared, and alone. You might be among these people, so listen if you’re hurting. Don’t give up on love because by doing this, you’ll give up on a chance to connect with another on a deep level. Shallow relationships will only satisfy your body and mind temporarily, and they will leave you feeling empty at the end of the day.

To truly feel alive, we need love, and lots of it. Maybe instead of giving up on love, you could try letting it go instead?

Letting go of love means you still believe in it, but you must allow it to move on. This can apply to that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you still look at pictures of and dream about every night. You want that feeling back, so you don’t want to give up on love. You want to let a person go that meant so much to you so that you can heal. Letting go of love means liberation while giving up on it means imprisonment. Releasing a toxic relationship allows you to create space for the right person to enter your life, while giving up on love entirely shuts EVERYONE out, regardless of their attitude about love and life.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Difference Between Giving Up and Letting Go

So, the next time you feel threatened or in pain by love, ask yourself: “Will I let one person or situation cause me to abandon love altogether, or can I let that person go while still keeping the possibility of loving another in my heart?”

Love can live on even amid pain, but it can’t live in a heart full of resentment. Choose to love yourself and love others despite how they treat you, and you can finally escape the battle between love and pain.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Signs A Broken Relationship Is Still Worth Saving

September 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

How could you know if your broken relationship with your partner is worth saving? Is there a sure sign of things being beyond repair? We will look at some of the symptoms of broken relationships that can be revived, and some advice on how to save your relationship.

5 Signs A Broken Relationship Is Still Worth Saving

You and your partner have had your ups and downs, but lately it seems like you’re in a deep one. Not every crisis has to mean the end of a partnership though. All of the time that you’ve put into this pairing is an investment that you want to see a return on. Don’t walk out yet if your broken relationship is still worth saving.

1. You still trust your partner

There cannot be intimacy without trust and there cannot be a good trusting connection without open communication. Open communication is not about nagging or criticism; it is about expressing your feelings so you can both get what you need, and hopefully, what you want from the relationship. If sex has declined, it’s not the end of your relationship. You can still have intimacy without intercourse through touching, and that might build enough trust to lead to being able to have more sex.

2. You’ve survived challenges with respect for each other

Coming through the fire has made you stronger, not weaker, and your love for each other can still be enough to save the relationship. Read below about the power of touch and positive communication to heal your relationship. You’ve been through some hardships, but you’ve made it through the rough parts by each others’ side.

How your partner handles stress is a great determination of their character and it reveals a lot about them to you. If you survived a challenge and can look at your partner with respect for their courage, composure, and ability to find humor, you are a lucky person because your broken relationship is still worth saving.

3. You still believe in the power of love to heal

Love is one of the most powerful forces on the planet, and we don’t use it as much as we should. Give hugs, kisses, gentle shoulder rubs, and caresses to your partner as often as you think about wanting to do it. Physical contact helps stimulate the release of oxytocin and that makes couples bond more strongly.

Oxytocin is called ‘The Cuddle Hormone’ for a reason. It helps mother and child bonding, as well as romantic couple bonding. Oxytocin may also help with healing, literal wounds in the body, and with emotional ones also, so hug it out. Researchers looked at couples and their levels of oxytocin while they talked. They found that positive communication patterns where couples could be upbeat with each other had the highest blood levels of oxytocin. The study also found that higher oxytocin levels had the power to heal. You can literally heal your broken heart with oxytocin.

4. You acknowledge that you also played a role in whatever broke the relationship

Maybe you did nothing wrong, but you didn’t believe yourself worthy of love, so you couldn’t truly receive the love that your partner was giving you. Relationshiprules.com has a great way of putting this; ‘open yourself to embrace the fact that the other person is truly and actually madly in love with you and is ready to cross any physical or emotional barrier for you. This moment of clarity is the reality of every strong relationship.’

How can you fix whatever is broken if you won’t acknowledge that it needs to be fixed? There are two people in every relationship and both contribute to the health and security of the partnership. Neither one of you is blameless but neither one of you is completely to blame either. If you say nothing else, say these four sentences to your partner often; ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘Please forgive me.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘I love you.’

5. Imagine yourself separated

Are you happy or sad thinking about breaking up with your partner? If you are happy, you will be smiling as you think about it. If you’re not smiling, it’s a sign that your broken relationship is still worth saving. A breakup can lead to a major depressive disorder or depression, which is a terrible consequence for your mental and physical health.

Researchers looked at when depression was most likely to develop for teenagers. They found that ‘The severing of a romantic relationship in the past year may set the stage, or at least one stage, for developing MDD (major depressive disorder).’ Depression can kill and it is nothing to brush off. Extreme sadness is common for people going through romantic relationship difficulties. If you feel depressed, seek help sooner rather than later. Text ‘GO’ to 741741 for the text crisis line or call 1-800-273-8255.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Signs of an Unfulfilling Relationship

September 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Do you ever question if your relationship is on the right track? Or, if you are compatible enough to sustain the rocky waters? Relationships don’t always sail smoothly. We hit deep waters, struggle through compromising, truth, and hardship. There’s more than just being a team. Relationships require the ability to be vulnerable, open, and passionate. Otherwise, they become unfulfilling.

Here are 7 signs of an unfulfilling relationship:

Sometimes there is an imbalance in all these characteristics and love is simply not enough to sustain the ride.

1. You are not their priority.

It is expected for people in long term committed relationships to have interests outside of their partnership. You both are individuals with work, hobbies and friends that are not intermingled with your significant other. But when your partner is always doing stuff without you, or prioritizes work and friendships over your relationship, that’s when problems arise. If you both are doing things together because there are no other plans with friends, family and work, and not because you specifically planned for time together, then your partner may not be a high priority in your life. People want to feel special and not like they are the consolation prize.

2. They have no goals or dreams for the future.

Goals and dreams are a sign of what a person finds important in their life. If you and your relationship are not among your partner’s future plans, then what are you doing together? If it is just a fling or uncommitted dating relationship, it is understandable not to plan your future around your significant other. However, if you have been together for more than a year and there are still no plans for the future, then you have an issue in that relationship. If your significant other is a priority in your life, then they are an integral part of your future plans. If there is no plan, even a basic one, then there is really no future.

3. They are never there for you.

If they are never there to back you up when you need some help, then what is the point of having them around? You are a team and you are fighting for your future together. If you drop everything and go help your partner when they ask for help, then they are a priority to you. If you need help and they can’t be bothered, then you are not a priority to them. Do you really want to be with someone who has better things to do than be there for you when you really need it?

4. You don’t do things together in an unfulfilling relationship.

If you would rather spend time with your friends and family than with your partner, then there is obviously a disconnection between the two of you. You shouldn’t be involved so much with your own life that you and your partner are not spending some time together. If you are not spending time together, then why are you together in the first place?

5. You stay because of fear of being alone.

The irony of this is that you really are alone already. You just have the veneer of a relationship. If you are not their priority, you don’t spend time together, they are never there when you need them and there is no talk of a future together, then you are already single you just haven’t admitted it to yourself. You will never find Mr./Mrs. Right if you are in a dead end relationship with Mr./Mrs. Wrong.

6. You feel like you are always doing things for them.

People in a relationship need to pull their own weight. They need to pay half the bills, do half the chores, and meet you halfway emotionally. If you are giving constantly and they are not reciprocating, then you are dating a vampire. Vampires may be sexy right now, but ultimately they are heartless, blood sucking parasites. Find someone that does stuff for you just as much as you do for them.

7. You are always questioning your happiness if you are stuck in a relationship that is unfulfilling.

If you look at your relationship and ask yourself “am I happy?” “Is this what I want?” then maybe you are unsure. It is normal to doubt every once in a while when things are tough. But if you ask yourself these questions a lot, then maybe you aren’t happy and you just can’t admit it outright. Figure out what makes you happy, and if your partner isn’t doing the things that lead to you both being happy, then maybe it is time to move on.

Most of us stay in unfulfilling relationships because of inertia or fear. You only have one life. Why waste it and your partner’s lives being with each other if you aren’t happy? Change sucks and dating can definitely suck. But you will never be happy unless you embrace your fear and pursue that happiness.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Seven Laws Of Success That Will Change Your Life

September 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Deepak Chopra says of success:

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”

When he wrote The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dream, he set out to explain the universal laws that govern our lives. It is believed that everything you resist in your life will continue to persist. In the avoidance of something, you create more drama. When it comes to success in your life, the answers lie in letting go and allowing the universe to create its magic. How can we make life easier? What do we need to do in order to shift our perception?

Here are the 7 laws of success that will change your life:

The Law of Pure Potentiality

The ego is a chit-chat mechanism that governs the human mind. In order to shut it down, you need a minimum of 30 minutes of meditation in your day. During this time, it is about allowing the divine guidance to participate in a space of non-judgment or criticism. The mind can easily attain silence when we make space for it. It is important to spend time in nature, as nature is a form of grounding and centering for the spirit. During your meditation practice, you allow your higher self to show you, guide you, and bring you the answers that ego can’t tarnish through doubt, fears, and anxieties.

The Law of Giving & Receiving

Every single day, you have the opportunity to give a gift to the world, and in return, you receive gifts. This may be as simple as a compliment you give to a stranger. When you give kindness and love, you are returned with the same energy and vibrational frequency. Abundance is not measured by the amount of money you have in your bank account. This law signifies the simplicity of abundance in health, joy, love, and affluence. That which you give to the universe returns in the same manner. Shifting your perception and your attitude creates abundance and expansion in the world.

Chopra suggests: “Begin by asking yourself, What message is the universe giving me? What can I learn from this experience, and how can I make it useful to my fellow human beings?” Even difficult situations create an opportunity to learn and grow.

The Law of Karma

Your life is a series of lessons and experiences that enhance your spiritual and human connections. The Law of Karma defines that whatever you put out there will return to you. Chopra says, “If you want to transform your karma to a more desirable experience, look for the seed of opportunity within every adversity, and tie that seed of opportunity to your dharma, or purpose in life. This will enable you to convert the adversity into a benefit, and transform the karma into a new expression.” Every action has a reaction.

The Law of Least Effort

The best way to put this law into action is to accept people, situations, and events for what they are and not how you want them to be. You live in the now, without manipulating how you think something should be. This moment is all you have. The universe has created every opportunity for this very circumstance. Utilizing this law is taking full responsibility for everything that happens in your life, without blaming another. You are not the victim of your story. You are the creator of your life.

The Law of Intention and Desire

We attract whatever we desire based on our intentions. The vibration we put forth into achieving success creates the act of manifesting. This is also why when we are stuck in a negative thought pattern, we attract the things we fear and do not want. It’s important to make a list of what you want. It’s important to create visual boards and dream journals. Visualization is the greatest form of manifesting. Once you have put forth your efforts and intentions, you allow the universe to create what’s best for your higher good. Do not allow obstacles to challenge your thought processing into a negative pattern. Do not try to control the outcome of your dreams. Visualize the final outcome and let the Divine take hold of your journey. Trust in the power of creation.

The Law of Detachment

Chopra says, “Attachment to money will always create insecurity no matter how much money you have in the bank.” We suffer because of the attachment to things, people, and life. The moment we release our control, things begin to unfold to the best possible solution. We get stagnant in trying to find solutions to things. Detachment is a huge hurdle in our lives. We are attached to finances, relationships, and the ability to micromanage our lives and those of others around us.

Stepping out of the chaos of struggling and attachment, you can start to see the mysticism in the endless amount of possibilities. For example, you didn’t get the job you wanted, so perhaps this is an opportunity for something better. Instead of obsessing on the negative, allow this to be the acceptance that something better is ahead for you. Allow joy to dictate your life. Let your soul be led by synchronicity and serendipity.

The Law of Dharma

You have a purpose in life. We all have a calling in our journey based on our individual gifts and talents. What you have been given is to provide for the highest service of humanity. When you give of yourself, you create a beautiful space for the Law of Dharma. Ask yourself every morning, “How can I be of service to the world?” Allow each moment to bring you an inclination of how you can help another. This life isn’t meant to be experienced alone. You never know how you will change another person’s life in the smallest of ways.

We do not reach success by how hard we work or how much we acquire. We reach it by our authenticity, compassion, and kindness. As Deepak says, “Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

4 Behaviors That Hurt Your Confidence

September 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

True confidence doesn’t scream from mountaintops or beg for attention; it stands quietly and firmly among the chaos and shows us that we just need to believe in ourselves and our truth in order to attain it. Everyone wants more confidence, but feel confused on how to get there. Well, you know what? Confidence doesn’t have to elude you any longer; you can feel more confident just by eliminating certain behaviors that only harm your self-esteem. Read on for ways to feel more comfortable and happy in your own skin, and kick doubt to the curb once and for all.

4 Behaviors That Hurt Your Confidence (And How to Avoid Having Them)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

1. Looking to others for approval or acceptance.

Confident people don’t need permission for others in order to live life in their truth; they simply go to their heart for guidance and allow it to pave their path. They do value others’ opinions and will listen in order to gain more knowledge or a new perspective, but ultimately, they choose their destiny. They won’t let anyone come before their own heart and soul when it comes to how they choose to live.

When you count on someone else to boost you up and make you feel good, you take away your own power. This basically says that you need other people to constantly lift you up and give you confidence, because you don’t or can’t do it yourself. Many people feel insecure for a variety of reasons, but looking to others for approval will only lead you further away from the truth. Commit to really getting to know yourself and your desires.

Then, honor those desires. Forget the opinions of others for a bit, and only focus on bettering your life. The true path to self-acceptance lies in your own heart, and to accept yourself, you must first understand yourself. Take time to truly get to know the person in the mirror, and the more time you spend with yourself, the deeper your relationship with yourself will become.

2. Blaming others for your own shortcomings or mistakes.

Although no one can fully control what happens to them, they can choose how they react to certain situations. If you have confidence, you will take full responsibility for your life and realize that you run the show. No one else will swoop down from the heavens and carry your burdens for you in this life; you’ll have to learn how to manage things on your own eventually. This doesn’t mean you can’t count on others for help, but you should never blame anyone else or wallow in self-pity due to misfortunes.

Confident people only look to themselves for answers, and when they slip up, they can only learn from their mistakes and move on. They don’t judge themselves too harshly, but they also don’t place blame on anyone but themselves.

In order to avoid blaming others for mistakes, you need to truly decide if this behavior even helps you along your journey. Does it really feel good to deny responsibility for your own words and actions? Once you accept that you control your life, you will see that blaming others for your own faults only hurts you more in the long run.

3. Running from things you fear.

Confident people don’t feel scared to accept a challenge or get a little outside their comfort zone; they willingly charge ahead toward new experiences and get a thrill out of being uncomfortable. They don’t put limits on what they can achieve; they have confidence in themselves and know that every new experience poses an opportunity to grow and learn.

Although facing your fears can feel very scary in the moment, doing things that tear down the walls that your ego constantly tries to rebuild can truly make you a new person. It can change you to the core, and cause a total transformation of the soul. We naturally look for comfort in life, but we can’t really grow if we become stagnant.

You can’t run forever, so choose today to face that next fear on your list. Once you look fear in the eyes, you’ll realize that the only person keeping it alive is you. Put your fears to rest, and understand that the shadows only exist because you breathe life into them.

4. Caring too much about what others think of you.

When you care what others think, you live in a place outside your truth. You live for what others will say, not what you say. What you say and do matters little unless someone else approves. Unless someone else stands on the sidelines and cheers you on, what you accomplish in life means nothing. Does this sound like a good way to live? Exactly.

We all are on the journey to self-acceptance together, so we can all learn from one another. We can boost each other up instead of tear each other down, but none of this matters unless we cultivate that feeling within. Next time you find yourself caring what others think, just do or say what you wanted to anyway. The right people will love you, and the wrong people with either try to tear you down or simply ignore you. To those who try to bring you down, give them love or choose to walk away. Either way, you accept that you control your journey, not others.

When you give yourself permission to show the true you to others, you strip away any fear or harsh judgments. You simply allow the universe to flow through you, and stand in the confidence that you’ve worked so hard to attain. You know you have flaws, but doesn’t everyone? The anxiety and fear about what others think needs to stop. Most people don’t even pay that much attention anyway, so you may as well live according to your heart and soul and stop letting the fear and social anxiety cripple you.

You have this body, mind and soul right here, right now. Why waste your existence trying to prove yourself to others or wishing you were someone else?

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

6 Signs Your Partner Is Suffering From Relationship OCD

September 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is entirely a mental compulsion. ROCD is where the individual has nagging, unwanted doubts about the strength, quality or compatibility of their relationship. The obsession centers around their partner’s attractiveness, appropriateness as a mate, long term viability as a mate, or sexual desirability.

While most of us associate OCD with excessive hand-washing or checking door locks, pure obsessional OCD happens entirely in the mind and is much less noticeable. ROCD revolves around the sufferer’s doubts concerning their own feelings about their partner. It is not insecurity about how their partner feels about them.

Here are some signs that your partner may be suffering from ROCD:

1. “What If I Don’t Really Love My Partner?”

Having doubts about a relationship, especially if it is new, is normal. With ROCD, the sufferer knows how they feel, but the unwanted doubts come back over and over again fueling a cycle of obsession. They worry that they are harming their partner by staying in a relationship with them when they doubt that their love is real and true. They know they love their partner but obsess over their own “What If?” doubts.

2. “What if My Partner is Not The One?”

The myth of “The One” is fueled by Hollywood movie fantasies, romance novels and love songs. People are flawed and complex, while most of these fantasy characters are ideals with little basis in reality. But we are bombarded by the concept of “The One” from an early age. The Princess Fantasy is deeply ingrained in our society where the woman is saved by “True Love’s Kiss” or some such nonsense. Real love is messy, complicated and the world’s oldest endurance sport. Nobody is perfect, but the person suffering from ROCD obsesses over their partners very human flaws and compares them to an unachievable ideal.

3. “What if I Am Not Attracted To My Partner?”

Someone with ROCD knows they are attracted to their partner, but the doubts generated by the disorder overwhelm their own thoughts. They constantly question every stray thought they have concerning their partners’ attractiveness. If they see someone they think is cute or attractive, they then begin questioning whether they could find their partner attractive if they can find someone else attractive. Normal people can see and appreciate beauty in others without questioning whether they are attracted to their partner. Someone suffering from ROCD constantly doubts their own thoughts about and attraction to their partner.

4. “I Enjoy My Alone Time – Does This Mean I Don’t Love My Partner?”

The person with ROCD generates doubts whenever they enjoy any time away from their partner and question their own feelings about their partner. How could their partner be “The One” if they enjoyed a day or a few hours without them?

5. They Fixate On The Long Term Viability Of The Relationship

The person with ROCD will constantly seek reassurance that their choice of partner is “the right one” from friends and family. They will compare their relationship with the relationships of others, even fictitious relationships from movies and novels. The sufferer will compare and contrast their current relationship with relationships from the past. Their compulsive doubts will dig out a normal person’s flaws and compare them to the flaws of their previous partners, and use that as an excuse to doubt the viability of the current relationship.

6. People With Relationship OCD Will Avoid Gestures of Intimacy, Love or Being Around Other Attractive People

People with ROCD fear that they will ultimately harm their partner when they “figure out” that the person is not “The One”. They will avoid being intimate, saying I love you or showing loving and affectionate gestures for fear that they will further entangle themselves in the relationship, making the inevitable breakup that much harder on their partner. This compulsion is fed by their obsessive doubts about their relationship.

What ROCD is not is stalking people you find attractive, texting your ex a hundred times a day, checking your partner’s text messages or emails or being jealous of your partner anytime they are around members of the opposite sex. They do not doubt their partner’s feelings, but their doubts center around their own feelings. It is also not a fear of intimacy or commitment.

Treatment is relatively simple with a high rate of success from a qualified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. These specialized therapists use a number of techniques to educate, identify the problem thoughts and teach the sufferer to overcome the obsessive doubts in relationship OCD.

5 Comebacks for Dealing With Judgmental People

September 22, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Everyone makes judgments. Some are sound judgments born of wisdom and experience and are meant to make a person’s situation better or to instruct them in making more appropriate choices or actions in the future. When a person is judgmental, they are being overly critical to a point that it is harmful, or at best, counterproductive. Judgmental people are usually very critical of themselves in their own internal monologue and their criticism of you is just an extension of their own internal mental space.

Dealing with judgmental people is not easy, and most of us just choose not to associate ourselves with those people. But, how do you deal with someone who is judgmental that you can’t avoid? Indeed, you can’t just write off a coworker, boss, or family member.

Here are five comebacks when someone is being judgmental and overly critical:

“I Forgot You Were Perfect in Every Way.”

No one is perfect, and when someone is judging you harshly, they are often using the same voice they use with themselves. People who judge you harshly often judge themselves harshly as well. Remind them that they are not perfect either and that we all have things we are working on to better ourselves. We are all flawed and imperfect, so don’t take their judgment personally. Just remind them of their own imperfections and let it go.

“I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.”

Everyone is great at something, but no one is great at everything. Let them know you understand that you are not perfect and that you make mistakes sometimes. But also remind them, and yourself, that you are an awesome person in your own right. Use humor to deflect their negativity rather than letting yourself absorb their negativity. Admit to yourself and to them your own crazy awesomeness. Revel in your own flawed nature and let them see you just don’t care what they think about you or your choices. You are the captain of your own ship and no one else can tell you how or where to sail that ship.

“You Can’t See That Board Sticking Out Of Your Eye, Can You?”

This is a reference to a passage in the bible. So it might be best used against people who shake their own bible at you. The passage talks about pointing out the speck of dust in someone’s eye while having a giant board sticking out of your own. We often can’t see our own flaws even when they are glaringly obvious to others. Remind the other person that they have their own issues they need to work on. Politely imply how they should focus on fixing those before pointing out other people’s flaws or failures.

“If You Were Any More Negative You Would Collapse Into A Black Hole.”

Some people are so negative that they collapse into their own negative feedback loop where everything they see is viewed in a negative light. Don’t let them suck you down into their dark abyss. They cannot see any light from outside because they are stuck in a giant gravity well of their own negative thoughts and emotions. This kind of person doesn’t form overnight. But at some point, they collapse into their own negative space, never to return. They suck away your energy and give nothing back. Keep your distance from them lest you get sucked down as well.

“Is It Hot In That Glass House Of Yours?”

This is another reminder that they do not live in a fortress of perfection. Instead inhabit a glass house of flaws like the rest of us. When you live in a neighborhood of glass houses, it is best not to start throwing things. Otherwise, their own reality could shatter if you start throwing rocks of judgment.

When dealing with judgmental people, it is best not to take them personally, as it is merely a reflection of their own warped sense of self. They are harsh and critical with you because they are harsh and critical with themselves. Their criticism of you is an outward reflection of their own tortured existence where they obsess over their own flaws in an endless obsession with their own mistakes and poor judgment of the past.

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Earl Nightingale

Research Reveals How A Single Choice Affects Mental Health More Than Medications

September 22, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We agree that good nutritional habits are vital to good physical health, yes? But what about mental health? Do good nutritional habits translate to a healthier mental state? On the surface, it would make sense. After all, the food we eat contains nutrients, which are transported throughout our entire body via our bloodstream. We already know that the brain requires nutrients to operate effectively…so, yeah, it makes sense.

“We need to get serious about the critical role played by nutrition.” – Julia Rucklidge, Clinical Psychologist

But is eating right more important to mental health than prescription medicine?

Ah, this is a bit trickier. After all, pharmaceuticals are research-intensive and science-based products that have undergone extensive trial and error, often over multiple years. These same products have earned the coveted “seal of approval” from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)…no easy task to say the least.
But, then again, hasn’t food undergone “testing” too? We’ve been “studying” the effects of food for much, much longer than medicine, haven’t we?

Scientists seem to have a pretty good grasp of what foods are healthy and unhealthy, so why haven’t many hypotheses focused on the mental health/nutrition link? Going back to the underlying question, we could attempt to subjectively rationalize a “yes” or “no” answer, and we may come up with an acceptable (maybe even a good) explanation. Or we could call upon that same scientific method to help us.

What Does the Science Say?

First, we should get this out of the way: good nutrition is essential for our mental health. Indeed, a myriad of mental health conditions can be affected by nutritional habits. This is THE most important lesson of the entire article. Yes, it is interesting that eating healthy may be more impactful than medication; but understanding that food directly impacts our mental health is even more crucial.

The Mental Health Foundation – a preeminent, science-based mental health organization based in the UK – states:
“One of the most obvious, yet under-recognized factors in the development of major trends in mental health is the role of nutrition…the body of evidence linking diet and mental health is growing at a rapid pace, as well as its impact on short and long-term mental health.”

Just as interesting is the following, again quoting from the Mental Health Foundation:

“…the evidence indicates that food plays an important contributing role in the development, management and prevention of specific mental health problems such as depression, schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and Alzheimer’s Disease.”

So, what do we know, then? Two important things:

(1) An overwhelming amount of evidence exists proving that food directly affects our overall mental health.
(2) The food we take in can directly contribute – in ways both good and bad – to both potential and existing mental health conditions.

Why Food IS More Important Than Medication

Most rational people accept that medication (e.g. prescription medications, vaccines, etc.) plays an essential and positive role in preventing and treating many different health conditions. One area that is much more contentious is the impact of pharmaceuticals on mental health. More specifically, whether or not pharmaceuticals simply “mask” symptoms rather than cure the underlying condition – as is the case with many patients suffering from anxiety and/or depression, for example.

Despite having her initial doubts, Dr. Julia Rucklidge, professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Canterbury, is among the advocates for treating mental health disorders with adequate nutrition. The research that she has undertaken over years, however, has ultimately led her to a simple, profound conclusion: that “nutrition is a safe and viable way to avoid, treat, and lessen mental illness.”

To emphasize her point, Dr. Rucklidge cites her now well-known study of ADHD patients. The adult participants were split into two groups: one group received micro-nutrients (i.e. vitamins and minerals), and the second group received a placebo (an inactive ingredient used as a basis of measurement.)

Here’s what she found:

In eight weeks, twice the number of participants responded favorably in the micro-nutrient group than in the placebo group.
Participants that continued with the micro-nutrient regimen realized positive mental health benefits; the alleviation of symptoms.
Participants that discontinued the micro-nutrient regimen and reverted to medication realized worsening symptoms.

Dr. Rucklidge didn’t cease experimental efforts with ADHD patients, and continued testing the impact of micro-nutrients on patients with depression, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, and others. Similar to the ADHD study, patients responded favorably to the micro-nutrient regimen.

What does this mean?

It simply means that nutrition is a vital component to not only physical health, but overall mental health. Commonsensical? We’ll let you be the judge of that.

But, if Dr. Rucklidge and her colleagues are correct – and many indicators seemingly point in this direction – it may alter how we view and treat mental illness.

5 Things Controlling People Will Do to Keep You Under Them

September 22, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Relationships are the cornerstone of our social existence, acting as mirrors that reflect our deepest desires, fears, and aspirations. These are not the strong suits of controlling people.

At their best, our relationships offer solace, companionship, and a sense of belonging.

Yet, as we navigate the intricate maze of human interactions, there are times when we encounter challenges that test the strength of these foundational values. One such challenge is controlling behavior, which can subtly creep into our interactions, casting a shadow over the genuine affection and understanding that once prevailed. Recognizing and addressing this behavior is crucial, as it can erode the very essence of what makes a relationship meaningful and fulfilling.

Why Do Some People Become So Controlling?

Understanding the psychology behind controlling behavior can provide valuable insights into why some individuals exhibit such tendencies. Here are five psychology-based reasons why some people become controlling:

Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem

At the core of many controlling personalities is a deep-seated sense of insecurity. Individuals who feel insecure might use control or other aggressive behaviors as a defense mechanism. They might think they can prevent perceived threats or challenges to their self-worth. By exerting control over others, they can create an illusion of stability and predictability in their lives. That’s how they try to compensate for their internal feelings of inadequacy.

Past Trauma or Abusive Experiences

Traumatic events, especially during formative years, can lead to controlling behaviors in adulthood. For instance, someone who grew up in an unpredictable environment might develop controlling habits to ensure their environment feels safe and predictable. As a result, this behavior can become a protective mechanism against reliving past traumas.

Fear of Abandonment

The fear of being rejected or abandoned can create manipulative people. They believe they can prevent loved ones from leaving their relationships and environments by keeping a tight grip on their relationships and environments. This behavior often stems from past experiences of abandonment or perceived neglect. Thus, it leads the individual to go to great lengths to avoid reliving the pain.

Need for Power and Dominance

Some individuals have a psychological need to feel powerful and dominant over others. This need can arise from various factors, including societal pressures, upbringing, or personal experiences, equating power with respect. For these individuals, controlling others (especially intimate partners) can be a way to validate their self-worth. They may also wield power to establish status within a group or social setting.

Anxiety and the Need for Predictability

Anxiety can manifest in a need for perceived control and order. Individuals with high anxiety levels might become controlling to mitigate their anxious feelings. They believe they can reduce the uncertainty that triggers their anxiety by ensuring that their environment and relationships are structured and predictable.

It’s essential to note that while these reasons can provide insights into controlling behavior, they don’t justify or excuse it. Recognizing the underlying causes can be a starting point for individuals to seek therapy or counseling to address and manage their controlling tendencies.

5 Signs of Controlling Behavior in Relationships

Let’s explore the signs of controlling behavior and how to address them.

1 – Controlling Behaviors Often Include Persistent Criticism

Everyone strives to do their best, especially in relationships that support and uplift each other. However, persistent criticism can cast a shadow over these efforts. When you constantly hear comments like, “That’s good, but it could be better,” or “Why didn’t you do it this way?” it can feel as though your best is never enough. Such remarks can erode self-confidence and create a feeling of perpetual inadequacy. Understanding that everyone operates differently, with unique strengths and approaches, is crucial. Instead of constant critique, relationships should foster an environment that recognizes, appreciates, and celebrates everyone involved.

2 – Manipulation Through Guilt

Emotional manipulation, primarily through guilt, can be subtle yet profoundly damaging. When you hear phrases like, “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t do that,” or “You should know better,” it’s easy to start doubting your decisions and feelings. These manipulative tactics can lead to a cycle of self-blame and second-guessing. A healthy relationship comes from mutual understanding, trust, and compromise. Recognizing when someone uses guilt as a control tool and establishing boundaries that protect your emotional well-being is essential.

3 – A Controlling Person Constantly Questioning Your Choices

In any relationship, mutual respect is foundational. That includes respecting each other’s decisions and choices. However, if you find yourself in a position where every decision is questioned or doubted, it can feel like you’re under constant scrutiny. This behavior can lead to self-doubt and hesitation in making even the most straightforward decisions. Open and honest communication is vital in such situations. Both parties should feel valued, heard, and understood without the fear of judgment or constant interrogation.

4 – Disregarding Your Opinions

Every individual brings a unique perspective to a relationship, and each person should consider and value these diverse viewpoints. If you often feel that your opinions are sidelined, ignored, or belittled, you may start to feel insignificant. In a balanced relationship, both partners should feel that their voices matter. In fact, they know the other person will consider their feelings and perspectives. Of course, a successful relationship demands an environment that encourages open dialogue. It’s essential to treat every person’s opinion with respect and consideration.

5 – Controlling People Shift the Blame When You Stand Up for Yourself

Setting boundaries signals self-respect and self-awareness. However, in controlling relationships, asserting oneself can lead to accusations of change or blame-shifting. Their weapons are cruel comments like, “You’ve changed.” But that’s a trick to deny accountability. Besides that, they make the other person feel guilty for standing up for themselves.

It’s crucial to remember that personal growth, self-awareness, and setting boundaries are positive and necessary changes. In any relationship, it’s essential to prioritize your well-being and ensure you’re in a supportive, understanding, and uplifting environment.

Final Thoughts on Dealing With Controlling People

Recognizing controlling behavior is the first step toward addressing it. If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, seeking support and prioritizing well-being is essential. Healthy relationships come from mutual respect, understanding, and trust. Always strive for relationships that uplift and empower you.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!