Do you ever question if your relationship is on the right track? Or, if you are compatible enough to sustain the rocky waters? Relationships don’t always sail smoothly. We hit deep waters, struggle through compromising, truth, and hardship. There’s more than just being a team. Relationships require the ability to be vulnerable, open, and passionate. Sometimes there is an imbalance in all these characteristics and love is simply not enough to sustain the ride.
Here are 7 signs of an unfulfilling relationship:
1. You are not their priority.
It is expected for people in long term committed relationships to have interests outside of their partnership. You both are individuals with work, hobbies and friends that are not intermingled with your significant other. But when your partner is always doing stuff without you, or prioritizes work and friendships over your relationship, that’s when problems arise. If you both are doing things together because there are no other plans with friends, family and work, and not because you specifically planned for time together, then your partner may not be a high priority in your life. People want to feel special and not like they are the consolation prize.
2. They have no goals or dreams for the future.
Goals and dreams are a sign of what a person finds important in their life. If you and your relationship are not among your partner’s future plans, then what are you doing together? If it is just a fling or uncommitted dating relationship, it is understandable not to plan your future around your significant other. However, if you have been together for more than a year and there are still no plans for the future, then you have an issue in that relationship. If your significant other is a priority in your life, then they are an integral part of your future plans. If there is no plan, even a basic one, then there is really no future.
3. They are never there for you.
If they are never there to back you up when you need some help, then what is the point of having them around? You are a team and you are fighting for your future together. If you drop everything and go help your partner when they ask for help, then they are a priority to you. If you need help and they can’t be bothered, then you are not a priority to them. Do you really want to be with someone who has better things to do than be there for you when you really need it?
4. You don’t do things together.
If you would rather spend time with your friends and family than with your partner, then there is obviously a disconnection between the two of you. You shouldn’t be involved so much with your own life that you and your partner are not spending some time together. If you are not spending time together, then why are you together in the first place?
5. You stay because of fear of being alone.
The irony of this is that you really are alone already. You just have the veneer of a relationship. If you are not their priority, you don’t spend time together, they are never there when you need them and there is no talk of a future together, then you are already single you just haven’t admitted it to yourself. You will never find Mr./Mrs. Right if you are in a dead end relationship with Mr./Mrs. Wrong.
6. You feel like you are always doing things for them.
People in a relationship need to pull their own weight. They need to pay half the bills, do half the chores, and meet you halfway emotionally. If you are giving constantly and they are not reciprocating, then you are dating a vampire. Vampires may be sexy right now, but ultimately they are heartless, blood sucking parasites. Find someone that does stuff for you just as much as you do for them.
7. You are always questioning your happiness.
If you look at your relationship and ask yourself “am I happy?” “Is this what I want?” then maybe you are unsure. It is normal to doubt every once in awhile when things are tough. But if you ask yourself these questions a lot, then maybe you aren’t happy and you just can’t admit it outright. Figure out what makes you happy, and if your partner isn’t doing the things that lead to you both being happy, then maybe it is time to move on.
Most of us stay in unfulfilling relationships because of inertia or fear. You only have one life. Why waste it and your partner’s lives being with each other if you aren’t happy? Change sucks and dating can definitely suck. But you will never be happy unless you embrace your fear and pursue that happiness.