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20 Habits of People With High Confidence

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Have you ever met someone who could mesmerize you with their presence? With the way they talk, walk, stand up, and sit down. You get the idea. Some people exude radiant qualities that attract people. Confidence.

When they talk, they’re captivating. When you speak, they’re listening. There’s a mutual connection – not always in a romantic sort of way – that leaves you wanting more of them.

Tony Robbins is an example of such an individual. Whether or not you happen to be a Robbins fan or not doesn’t matter much. His crowds of followers indicate the man’s attractive qualities that appeal to millions.

Call it confidence, charisma, allure, charm, magnetism, etc.; some people have that “it” factor that others love.

20 Habits of People With High Confidence

In this article, we discuss ten behaviors of people with a high confidence level. Let’s get going!

1. The correct body language exudes confidence

Those with a high level of confidence exhibit this trait in how they carry themselves. This isn’t to say that confident people feel confident at all times, but they understand the importance of appearing that way. Furthermore, they know that posture strongly correlates with feeling – a mind and body connection.

2. A sincere interest in others

Many of us try to think of a response while someone else is speaking. We do so because “uncomfortable silence” is something that feels unnatural and unaccommodating – a byproduct of social pressure that is not accurate in the least. Genuine sincerity bypasses the need to sound exciting and uses that energy to invest in others.

3. Being curious

Having a one-sided conversation is not attractive (or respectful). People who understand that everyone has a story, and takes this perspective with them, are more likely to attract others. Encourage someone to talk about themselves, and don’t sweat the details of what they have to say.

4. Sharing the spotlight

Confident people aren’t usually too concerned with being at the center. Forget the image of the high school jock in the hallway; the most confident men and women are also some of the most selfless. They’ll generously share the spotlight, heaping deserved praise onto worthy recipients and making an effort to lift the spirit of others.

5. Having a powerful message

Well, having a powerful statement with the proper purpose, that is. Some personal stories are inspirational (e.g., Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey) and conveyed with a selfless and humble disposition. By all means, tell your story but try to contextualize it to benefit someone else.

6. Show confidence by being an active listener

Expressing interest and asking questions makes people feel special and put them at ease. Let people speak without interrupting. Follow up their statements with clarifying questions as needed and place a high value on what they say.

In other words, talk less and listen more.

7. Forgetting the need to be right

Okay, more science-based stuff here. In a study conducted at Emory University, the brain’s primitive “fight or flight” response activates in proportion to their interest in the topic at hand. The need to feel right is ingrained within the human brain, especially when passions are stoked – and this is true regardless of evidence or rationale.

The most confident people will suppress many of these primitive emotions, choosing to engage and sustain a conversation with someone regardless of their opposing viewpoints.

8. Start with a positive mindset

Starting the day with a positive mind makes navigating the day much more manageable. We’ll begin conversations on a positive note, act more respectfully and sincerely, and leave a positive impact wherever we go.

9. Displaying vulnerability

Contrary to what many people still believe, showing vulnerability is not an act of weakness. It is a very human activity that is both charming and compelling. Being vulnerable has a way of establishing trust and revealing a sense of confidence. Displaying vulnerability also delivers a powerful message: that it’s okay to be less than perfect and that we needn’t be so hard on ourselves.

10. Smile to display confidence!

No big surprise here. Confident people are more self-assured – and in many cases, happier – than other, less certain personality types. Even a slight smile will immediately lower many people’s guard, making them more willing to listen to what you say. They’ll also have an established sense of trust when it’s time for you to attend.

intensive exercises

11. Secure in Their Knowledge and Abilities

People with a high level of confidence have worked hard to get where they are. They have the knowledge and skills that they have learned over time. Since you are self-sufficient, you know that you’ll always find a way to manage any situation.

If you aren’t happy in your present position, you know that you can make a change. Perhaps you are among the folks who step out on faith for a different career move. Even if you lose your job tomorrow, you have enough confidence to find something similar or with higher pay.

12. Sets Goals and Accomplishes Them

Another way that people build their confidence is by setting and accomplishing goals. According to an article published by the University of Michigan, establishing goals helps develop more clarity for the future. Plus, it offers better insight to decide what’s essential and not.

When you set realistic goals, you feel a great sense of success with each one you accomplish. Then, you are more apt to believe enough in yourself to set the bar higher. Each accomplishment gives you more satisfaction and self-assurance.

13. Pays Attention

Confidence doesn’t come when folks ignore others. Just think of all the information and skill sets you’ve learned from people. You also build stronger personal and professional relationships when you pay attention to the thoughts and ideas of other individuals.

The whole idea is to be “present” at the moment. Not only are you actively listening, but you’re also showing empathy. You’re present in the situation, and you’re not thinking about what’s for lunch. You let other people know that if something’s important to them, it’s important to you.

14. Knows How to Process Negative Feedback

No matter how much confidence you have, you’ll always face criticism. It’s impossible to please everyone all the time, and you see the futility of trying. Perfectionism isn’t based on reality and does nothing but erode your self-esteem.

However, you’ve realized the secret to sorting constructive criticism from hateful comments. Although constructive criticism can sting a bit, it’s offered kindness to help you do better. Mean-spirited criticism is usually based on negativity, jealousy, and not understanding.

You take constructive criticism and use it to be more successful. When you reflect on the past, you can see your progress. Then, you push hateful criticism to the side and don’t let it get to you.

15. Not Afraid to Learn New Skills

It’s a sign of a highly confident person when you believe in your abilities. However, you’re never so self-assured that you’re above learning new skills. You realized a long time ago that there’s always room for improvement.

It takes a lot of courage to go back to school or learn new skills from generous mentors. Since you’re already solid in your current skill sets, your confidence drives you to learn more. The more you know, the more life satisfaction you have.

The more confident you are, the greater your thirst for knowledge. You try to learn something new every day. Boredom is your greatest enemy, and you fight it by keeping your body and mind active.

16. Doesn’t Procrastinate

It’s difficult for people to be confident when constantly avoiding responsibilities. Some people think why they should do something today when they can put it off till tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow doesn’t come, and they feel worse about themselves.

A study published by the National Library of Medicine discusses a possible link between procrastination and self-esteem. They found evidence suggesting that people with higher self-efficacy tend to have higher confidence levels. Therefore, according to the article, these people tend not to procrastinate as much as those with lower self-esteem.

So, you can be more confident when you do things promptly instead of avoiding them. Once you’ve completed a dreaded task, you may realize that it wasn’t as intimidating. You’re more likely to accomplish your goals and believe in yourself more.

17. Is Always Willing to Help Others

An undeniable sign of a confident person is your willingness to reach out to others. You have enough trust in your abilities that you’re not afraid to help those who need you. Plus, you’re not so high and mighty that you can’t do the most menial tasks as a helper.

If you’re one of these self-assured people, volunteering for worthy causes is important to you. Whether you’re a reading tutor at the library or a volunteer at your local soup kitchen, you have a helper’s heart. You’re there to build other people’s self-esteem and encourage them to set and reach their goals.

18. Shrugs Off Failure

One of the greatest misconceptions in the world is that failure is permanent. However, confident people have learned that failure is only one puzzle piece. Instead of allowing it to define your life, you use it as a learning curve to do things better.

Think of where the world would be if every successful person gave up after their first attempt. Most inventions and other technological advances wouldn’t be here. Fortunately, these creative minds learned from their mistakes and made their dreams a reality.

The difference between success and failure is that you get up and try again. You may have some people in the background with negative comments, but you ignore them as your confidence guides you. You focus on positive results and keep working until you achieve them.

19. Stands Up for Principles and Values

Confidence ensures that you don’t need to belittle others to stroke your ego. On the other hand, you needn’t let people walk all over you. Having the ability to stand up for yourself shows that you won’t allow others to create your self-esteem.

You’re not too intimidated to enforce boundaries in personal and professional relationships. While you’re recognized as a thoughtful individual, your generosity isn’t to be taken as a weakness. When necessary, you can assert your rights and politely put rude people in their place.

20. Make Decisions with Ease

Indecisiveness is often a product of low self-esteem. Some people aren’t sure enough in themselves to make the most straightforward decisions. They are chronically second-guessing and mistrustful of their gut instincts.

When you are confident, decision-making isn’t as mentally exhausting. Even when your decision is life-altering, you trust in your ability to choose wisely. You often seek guidance and research to reach the best-informed decision.

Let’s say that you’ve always dreamed of starting your own business. You believe you can do it by judging by your past successes and learning from mistakes. Success must begin in your mind before it is manifested.

You’re also less likely to battle regrets of “what if” and “if only.” You don’t allow indecisiveness to stand between you and your dreams. As a highly confident person, you needn’t worry about the fear of missing out on anything.

confidence quote

Final Thoughts on Learning to Have High Confidence

Becoming a person with high confidence is a journey, not a short jog. It comes with experience and internalizing each success, no matter how small. Self-esteem is a gift you give yourself, and nobody can take it from you.

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Living With Your Partner

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There is a fine (yet distinct) difference between dating someone and living with your partner.

Sure, the dating phase may have been terrific. Sure, you love the person that’s come to embrace who you are, and reciprocated such feelings. If so, that is wonderful.

BUT…

Living together – as in sharing an abode – carries an additional set of responsibilities that dating doesn’t. Make no mistake: personal compatibility and cohabitation are two different animals.

Cohabitation requires a different type of compatibility.

Hence, the reason for this article.

From the first date to a wedding date, love has an arguably beautiful way of negating the boring-but-necessary “practicality” thing. Not everyone you’re attracted to is conductive to your (real or perceived) way of life – or your future.

Are we saying that a couple in love cannot overcome perceived flaws? NO! Can compromise and understanding “narrow the gap” in many areas, including cohabitation? YES!

Please take a second and understand the last statements. As deeply flawed human beings, many people have  found a sense of purpose and destiny through the love of a woman. It IS possible.)

The difference: there must be a mutual – at least, to some degree –  understanding between you and the person who you love in terms of living conditions. Failure to reach such mutuality leads to conflict;, tension, leading to communication breakdowns, leading to relationship problems…you see where this is going.

“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

Are You Ready to Live With Your Partner?

Here are five important things to consider before renting that awesome apartment, condo, or house:

highly compatible partners

#1 Are you ready to “play house?”

One’s age and maturity level are a potential deal-breaker when living with someone else. Another “x-factor”: is personality; not the one you see, but the “private” persona.

Some young couples fall in love, move in together, and things work out great. For others, renting a place together with the “ex-someone” ranks among their worst decisions.

The former group tends to have an open, effective line of communication, the setting of expectations and responsibilities, and a high level of commitment. For the latter folks, well, one or both partners lacked something.

#2 Are finances the main priority?

Money is important, yes, but not nearly as important as living compatibility. While it may be ultra-tempting to “split the rent” (and it’s tempting), it won’t matter if you have to pay hundreds of dollars to terminate a lease preemptively.

Carefully consider if the almighty dollar (or pound, Euro, other currency) is/is not skewing your decision-making. Of course, you must discover the similar motivations of your partner.

#3 Is your partner (ahem) untidy?

Don’t underemphasize the importance of cleanliness standards (or lack thereof). Odds are you’ve visited your guys/gals living quarters once or twice…so, what was your impression?

Perhaps the more important question: how much or little similarity did said living quarters resemble yours? If your space exhibits the cleanliness of a hospital operating room, you’re going to have a difficult time accepting anything less.

If you both tend to be untidy folk, congrats.

#4 Are you a loner or a partier?

And is your partner a loner or a partier? We all know that opposite personalities often attract. But again, attraction and cohabitation bear no relation whatsoever.

So if you’re an introvert that’d rather go on a Friday night Netflix binge, and your partner is an extra-extravert that’s ready to B-line to the nearest nightclub, you may have a problem.

Of course, two reasonable people with differing personalities and a mature mindset can compromise and accommodate. The problem lies when one or both people are unwilling to adhere to such over the long-term.

#5 Have you looked at this decision objectively?

Admittedly, this last question can be a bit perplexing. But have you given careful consideration to why you’re moving in together?

Is it because you both truly love one another, or is it an impulse thing?

We’re not discounting the importance of emotions – they are necessary to any fruitful partnership. However, having a “good feeling about this” is not (or shouldn’t be) the preferred benchmark here.

Consider the questions above carefully before jumping headfirst into a living situation that may not work out. Research other things to consider when moving in with your partner. And think objectively.

If you’re still unsure, go for the lease offering the shortest duration (yes, even if said lease eliminates the well-advertised, long-term “perks”!) love

Final Thoughts on Moving in With Your Partner

Research (surprise!) differs on the benefits and drawbacks of cohabitation. The preponderance of pre-2000 research apparently links pre-marriage cohabitation with higher divorce rates.

The good news, for all of you duos eagerly seeking a lease (and a marriage?) is that prior research may have drastically overestimated the relationship between living together, breakups, and divorce.

Arielle Kuperberg, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, states:

“It turns out that cohabitation doesn’t cause divorce and probably never did,” says the experienced sociologist and researcher, “What leads to divorce is when people move in with someone…before they have the maturity and experience to choose compatible partners and to conduct themselves in ways that can sustain a long-term relationship.”

Her advice? Wait until you’re at least 23 years old. Research suggests that each year spent in a relationship without cohabitation between the ages 23 and 33 lessens the likelihood of breakup, divorce, and broken leases (okay, that last one wasn’t in there.)

It makes sense, though.

5 Things To Do When You’re Overstressed (That Actually Work)

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Are you overstressed?

“The mind can go either direction under stress – toward positive or toward negative: on or off. Think of it as a spectrum whose extremes are unconsciousness at the negative end and hyperconsciousness at the positive end. The way the mind will lean under stress is strongly influenced by training.” – Frank Herbert, “Dune”

Stress levels in America – and in many places around the world – are at or near an all-time high. Financial worries, excessive work hours, family responsibilities, health problems – all have contributed to the current stress epidemic.

Want to know the pervasiveness of stress? Google “stress epidemic” and brace yourself. Read some of the material – it’s absolutely horrendous how stress has infiltrated and entrenched our everyday lives.

It’s also troubling how– individually and collectively – we’ve have allowed stress to penetrate our culture. Here’s an eye-opening fact:

According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide. And more than 75 percent of all physician office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.

Reverting to the introductory quote by Mr. Frank Herbert, it is essential that we train ourselves to counteract the effects of stress – and there are numerous ways to do just that. We must take back control; not just for ourselves, but for future generations.

In this article, we focus on five simple, unique and effective ways to reduce stress. We hope that these methods prove useful and beneficial to your health.

Here are 5 things to do when you’re overstressed (that really work):

overstressed

1. Eat some oatmeal

Oatmeal not only tastes good, it’s a wonderful antidote to stress. This food can “reduce levels of stress hormones” and release “feel good” chemicals in the brain.

Oatmeal contains an abundance of tryptophan. That’s an important amino acid and the building block for the neurochemical serotonin. In order for the brain to produce this “feel good” chemical, a sufficient level of tryptophan must be available.

Oatmeal contains some other important elements, as well. Magnesium, a natural relaxant, and prebiotics, which help manage stress levels and aids sleep, are both plentiful in oatmeal.

2. Drink some O.J. when overstressed

According to an article published in the American Chemical Society:

“Large doses of vitamin C can prevent illness by alleviating the body’s normal response to stress, according to scientists at the University of Alabama in Huntsville.”

The study measured the effects of Vitamin C on the adrenal glands under stressful conditions. The adrenal gland “reacts to stress by releasing corticoids, such as corticosterone and cortisol. These and other hormones trigger the ‘fight or flight’ reaction that allows us to strong into action when in danger.”

Researchers observed that rats that were fed large amounts of vitamin C showed reduced levels of stress hormones in the blood; along with reduction of other “typical” physical and emotional stress indicators.

3. Get a coloring book for when you feel overstressed

Adult coloring books are, well, coloring books with more intricately designed patterns and images. For the uninformed, it turns out that adult coloring books are selling like hotcakes, including on Amazon, where some related products have outsold many well-received books.

Jane P. Ehrman, M.Ed., and board-certified Clinical Hypnotherapist: “When you’re coloring, all you have to do is stay in the moment,” she states simply, “It gets you out of your head. That’s what’s so great about it.”

There are plenty of related products on the market, as well as free downloadable patterns and images.

Speaking of patterns and images…

4. Look at patterns in nature

Patterns found in nature, including shells, snowflakes, water currents, etc., can be a natural way to calm the brain. Patterns that repeat identically or comparably are known as “fractals.”

In a study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, researchers showed participants various fractal objects or images, concluding that fractal patterns stimulate “positive perceptual and physiological responses.”

In other words, the brain “appreciates” the aesthetic presentation of intricate patterns. Get out into nature, blow some bubbles, or search for “fractal images” online – and just relax.

nature

5. Practice guided imagery when overstressed

Guided imagery is “a visualization technique that helps you relax by imagining a calm place, or doing a mental rehearsal of a stressful situation.”

Athletes use this practice prior to a performance and to excellent effect. Here’s an example. Michael Jordan, perhaps the best basketball player of all time, is an avid practitioner of guided imagery practitioner.

In a 2015 study published in Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, patients who listened to a guided imagery CD for 18 minutes prior to undergoing surgery demonstrated significantly lower anxiety levels than the control group.

Practicing guided imagery is a relatively simple process. “Sit in a comfortable spot, close your eyes, and take three of four deep breaths. Imagine yourself in nature, or walking on a path.” Some practitioners listen to gentle music or nature sounds to aid this practice of mindfulness.

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Stop Eating Meat

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To start with, we just want to say that we’re not bashing meat-eaters. So if you cut down on or eliminate meat, you find an extremely healthy option given the average American diet – one high in unhealthy fats, lacking fiber, and excessive sugar intake.

People abstain from meat for various reasons, including ethical, nutritional, and/or environmental concerns. While it is beyond the scope of this article to elaborate on the rationale of vegetarianism/veganism, the dietary practice is buttressed by plenty of scientific evidence.

The consumption of heavily processed meat, which is (by far) the most common type eaten, can hurt our bodies. Conversely, a meat-free diet can produce several positive benefits.

This article discusses some of the benefits of eliminating meat from your diet.

Let’s get going!

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Stop Eating Meat

“[The] meat we eat today is vastly different from the meat our ancestors ate. Back in the day, animals roamed free and ate grass, insects or whatever was available to them…Today, some of our meat products go through even more processing…they are smoked, cured, then treated with nitrates, preservatives, and various chemicals.” – Kris Gunnars, BSc

1. Inflammation takes a nosedive

Chronic inflammation link to the development of various diseases, including atherosclerosis, autoimmune diseases, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. As a result, a diet high in heavily processed foods, including meat, raises the body’s inflammation level.

Meanwhile, a diet with plenty of fruits, whole grains, vegetables, legumes, and tuberous foods (potatoes, carrots, beets, yams, etc.) has been shown to ward off inflammation. High levels of antioxidants, fibers, and phytonutrients contribute to this anti-inflammatory effect.

meat

2. You produce more “friendly bacteria”

Trillions of microorganisms live within our innards, many of which are vital to our overall health. Some of the roles of “friendly bacteria” include maintaining gut health, aiding digestion, strengthening the immune system, preserving healthy tissue, and protecting us from cancer.

Plant-based foods enhance the abovementioned benefits, while low-fiber foods disrupt the microbiome (our “collection” of microorganisms.) Health-promoting bacteria are particularly important in the gut, where toxic byproducts from meat and other processed foods increase the risk of high cholesterol, stroke, and heart attack.

3. You lower the risk of type 2 diabetes

In a 17-year study published in the journal Annals of Nutrition and Metabolism, researchers discovered a strong correlation between the frequency of meat consumption and increased diabetes risk. Here are some of the study’s observations:

  • Weekly meat eaters were 29% more likely than non-meat eaters to develop diabetes.
  • Frequent consumers of processed meats were 38% more likely to develop diabetes.
  • Over the 17 years, participants whose diets included meat at least once per week were 79% more likely to develop diabetes than vegetarians over the same tenure.

Contributing to the disproportionate rates of diabetes in meat eaters are animal fat, nitrate preservatives, heightened inflammation, obesity, and suppression of insulin function.

Plant-based foods have demonstrated numerous diabetes resistant properties. Whole grains are also an excellent food source for fighting diabetes.

4. You’ll (still!) get the protein you need

Of the most prolific and mistaken views about meat is that it’s necessary to get the “right amount” of protein. This viewpoint is entirely false – here’s why.

First, the National Center for Health Statistics cites that the average meat eater consumes 150% more than the optimal amount of protein. Excessive protein consumption can produce many ill effects – diabetes, inflammation, cancer, heart disease, and weight gain.

Contrary to popular belief, plant-based (and other) foods contain high amounts of protein. Here’s a short list: soy (in any of its numerous forms), tofu, tempeh, chia seeds, edamame, quinoa, and legumes.

red meat

5. You’ll be doing your part for the environment and planet

Did you know that animal agriculture contributes to about 15% of all greenhouse gas emissions – exceeding the greenhouse gas emissions from every method of transport combined? Moreover, livestock (read: meat) and dairy processes account for about 70% of this total.

Besides being a massive contributor to the greenhouse gas (and climate change, global warming) problem, meat production is among the leading contributors to mass deforestation, destruction of animal habitat, and a significant threat to many species – some to the point of extinction.

In short, many reasons exist to eliminate (or reduce) our meat consumption. We’ve discussed the health and environmental impacts of meat production. But you should also not underestimate the ethical implications of animal agriculture.

“Factory farming,” as uncovered through numerous media outlets, often involves the inhumane, brutal treatment of animals en masse. Chickens are raised without access to sunlight; cows are knee-deep in their manure. Animals are repeatedly injected with growth hormones and other chemicals to expand their size – and, of course, the company’s profit.

References:
Vang, A., Singh, P. N., Lee, J. W., Haddad, E. H., & Brinegar, C. H. (2008). Meats, Processed Meats, Obesity, Weight Gain and Occurrence of Diabetes among Adults: Findings from Adventist Health Studies [Abstract]. Annals of Nutrition and Metabolism, 52(2), 96-104. doi:10.1159/000121365

7 Sentences That Will Build A Stronger Connection With Your Kids

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Communication between a parent and child is an active part of an often complicated bond. Early childhood years are often a stark juxtaposition to teenage years; when a parent’s willingness to engage in conversation with their kids is no longer so easy, and vice-versa.

During infancy, the child’s brain is busy absorbing how people communicate – a very early stage of speech and language development. At 12 months, it is common for the child to imitate speech, speak simple words (“mama,” “dada,” “uh-oh); identify words for common items (“crib” or “shoe”). The baby adores communicating with parents, and such adoration is reciprocated.

Speech quickly evolves during later childhood years; then there’s adolescence when it can seem communication between parent and child screeches to a halt. Some episodes of conflict between parent and child at this age are almost assured.

Why?

Because a teenager’s mind is swiftly becoming acquainted with new experiences, opportunities, and novelties that were once unfamiliar. Understandably, a good parent seeks to protect their child while – at the same time – giving them some independence to understand the world. This delicate “juggling act” is what often creates strife – and a potential breakdown in communication.

Despite these complications, it is possible to genuinely (and gently) communicate with your kids. Lowering the barriers of communication requires some compromise, patience, and mutual respect.

Perhaps most importantly, effective communication requires the parent to empathize with the mindset of their teenage child, which can prove difficult. Keep in mind, however, that we were all that age once.

In this article, we break down 7 common parent/teenager scenarios; along with 7 responses that may bridge this “communication gap” and build a stronger, most trustworthy relationship with your child.

Here we go.

Here are 7 sentences that will build a stronger connection with your kids:

1. When someone upsets them

Scenarios will surface when the teenager believes that they have been wronged by someone in some way. This type of situation often arises at school; with a coach, teacher, friend, etc.

A common parental response (especially if the “someone” is an adult) is to question how the kid created the problem – or worse, reproach them without inquiry.

What’s most important here is to allow the youngster to make sense of things. This doesn’t condone nor agree with their behavior; it means allowing them to rationally (and maturely) reflect.

An example: “That sounds like they’re troubling for you. I can see your anger. Perhaps you should think about it a bit and wait for things to settle.

2. When kids need someone

Even as adults, we all turn to that one person that can sympathize with a problem and speak honestly about it.

Teenagers are no different in this respect, but they still have yet to fully comprehend how the world works, and are often confused about to whom they should speak. The important takeaway is allowing them to rationalize their mindset – and seeking your support when needed.

An example: “You’re disappointed about what happened, I understand. You were expecting one thing, and the opposite happened. When you’re ready to talk, so am I.”

3. When they realize the world is flawed

Teenagers need to understand that the world is uncompromising in many ways, but this isn’t a time to go “full professor” on that topic. Acknowledge what’s happening while resisting the urge to provide a “professorial” response. Again, this open-mindedness gives them space to make sense of things.

What to say: “You tried to make things work, didn’t you? Why do you think it didn’t happen?”

4. When internalizing a problem exceeds the ability to deal with it

Teenagers are certainly prone to drama. Chalk this up to their still-undeveloped minds, or lack of maturity. Maybe the kid was cut from the team, or didn’t make the lead role in a play; such circumstances can be a “teaching moment.”

What to say: “I understand your disappointment. I’d be disappointed too. What can you do to make yourself better for the next chance?”

sentences to tell child

5. When kids become overwhelmed by anxiety

It’s important to remember that your teenage possesses all the necessary tools to handle adversity; whether they realize it or not. When the young one comes to a parent overwhelmed with anxiety, it is important to reiterate this fact while acknowledging their anxiousness.

What to say: “It’s healthy to feel uneasy when things don’t happen as planned. It can be difficult to adapt to such circumstances.”

6. When the parent needs more information

Teenagers, especially the intelligent/resilient/introverted/shy type are quite adept at withholding information. All teenagers, as noted, are still attempting to make sense of the world – and often experience a sense of befuddling confusion. The motive behind their thoughts and emotions isn’t relevant in this respect; the parent’s informative response, however, is.

What to say: “I understand that you’re smart and able to take care of many things yourself. Just know that we all need some help sometimes.”

7. When the kids need some inspiration

Some things do not change no matter how old we get – and needing some inspiration is one of those things. Teenagers, just like other age groups, need something that “gets them going.” Encouragement best comes from the people that love them most: their parent(s). Notice (and focus upon) their efforts instead of any “shortcomings.”

What to say: “I see that you’ve been working extremely hard. No matter what you face, hard work will always win. Keep going.”

5 Life Changing Promises To Make Yourself Right Now

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Life passes us by before we know it, but what can we do to make each day count so that we can live our lives to the fullest? If you really want to savor each moment and not have any regrets when it’s all said and done, here are five promises to make yourself today.

5 Life-Changing Promises to Make Yourself Right Now

1. I promise to choose my attitude each day

When you wake up, you have a choice. You can drag yourself out of bed, barely mutter to your loved ones, and complain about your day, or you could choose to put on a smile. Before each action, there is a moment’s pause when we have a choice. Choosing our facial expression and body language is reflective of our own attitude about how our day will progress.

In 1973 German researcher Dr. Ronald Grossarth-Maticek gave his subjects a survey on pleasure and well-being. In a follow up with the test subjects 21-years later, the researchers found that those who scored highest on their attitudes were 30 times more likely to be alive and well than those who had low scores. The study found that ‘the incidence of cancer and internal diseases over the next 10 years,’ could be correctly predicted 93% of the time by looking for those with the most negative ratings.

2. I promise to accept responsibility for my actions or inactions

Nothing happens to you, but it happens with you. You either choose to act in response to what happens or you choose to not act. You are a servant to no one. You’re the only person who chooses the food that goes in your mouth or doesn’t, whether you get up and go to work or not, and whether you choose to help a stranded motorist or not. That’s one of the best promises you can make.

3. I promise to forgive myself for my action or inaction of the past

Your judgment of your past action or inaction is how you define your feelings about what happened with (not to) you. You have a choice about how you feel about what happened and your response. If you feel negative emotions about the situation, then it is time to promise to forgive yourself for believing negative things about you based on what happened in the past. You can choose differently in the future based on what you now know.

promises

4. I promise to love myself unconditionally

This is the most challenging of the five promises to make to yourself right now, because it is difficult for us to unconditionally love and accept ourselves. We judge ourselves in comparison to some standard that we have either created or accepted. Drop the standard. You are unlike any other. Love your unique, living self.

5. I promise to forgive others for their shortcomings

Although this might not seem like a promise that you are making to yourself each day, but a promise that is for others, it will help you in removing a burden that you may not have even realized that you were carrying around. There are beneficial health reasons that you might choose to forgive someone over not forgiving them: ‘Forgiveness is psychologically beneficial for victim and offender, influencing physical, mental, and social health,’ according to a psychological study on forgiveness, unforgiveness, faith and health.

In the book, The Handbook of Forgiveness, editor Everett Worthington, Jr. concludes that ‘Because people so frequently hurt each other, it is plausible that events requiring forgiveness occur in all types of relationships, even between childhood best friends or children and parents.’ The authors say that when one person hurts or offends another, ‘the other person suffers. The victim then must choose how to respond, in terms of internal thoughts, feelings, and motivations, as well as external behaviors to acknowledge the transgression but forgive the offender, or to refuse to forgive.’

 

11 Ways to Feel Truly Loved

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“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.” – Tony Robbins

Did you know that research published to date hasn’t found a strong link between wealth and happiness? After accounting for basic needs (food, shelter, and money for essentials), wealth has a relatively small effect on well-being.

In a study undertaken at the University of British Columbia, Professor Elizabeth Dunn observed a much stronger correlation between positive emotions from giving money away than spending it. Interestingly, people with less money derived more happiness from giving money to charity.

And it’s not just the giving of money that makes people feel loved. Giving of one’s time and effort tends to create similar feelings of love happiness – both for the giver and recipient(s).

After researching data from 40 published papers, volunteers “…had a lower risk of death than non-volunteers. In addition, volunteers had lower levels of depression, increased life satisfaction and enhanced well-being.”

You are probably thinking: What in the heck do these research findings have to do with the article’s topic?

Simply this: giving – of money, time, or resources – is an exceptionally powerful act, especially when viewed from another’s perspective.

Some of the history’s most admired people are also among the most selfless. Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Buddha, Rosa Parks, and Princess Diana are just a few names that come to mind.

Countless numbers of others have made a lasting impression through giving – and have, in turn, received reciprocation of their love and kindness.  In this article, we discuss ways in which we all can give, which (incidentally) draws love and admiration of others.

Here are 11 gifts we can give to feel ‘truly loved’ in return:

1. The gift of acceptance

There is perhaps no greater gift we can give than that of acceptance. George Orwell, one of the greatest writers of all time, once said: “Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”

Acceptance is not necessarily agreement. We can disagree with someone about something while still accepting each other’s humanity; maintaining both our dignity and theirs.

Can you imagine a world where we all just accepted each other? It would inevitably look much different than it does today.

2. The gift of freedom

The gift of freedom can be interpreted in numerous ways. The founders of the United States (“Founding Fathers”) viewed individual freedom as a sacred, inalienable right – something worth defending at all costs.

In truth, every living, breathing soul has the right to personal freedom provided that such liberties don’t harm anyone else. We can give this gift by encouraging autonomy and self-expression whenever the situation calls for it.

3. The gift of acclaim

Displaying an appreciation for someone else through compliment or praise is a remarkably powerful thing. For those feeling down on their luck, a well-intended act of praise may leave a lasting impression – perhaps changing the course of their life.

Acclaim can be freely given – anywhere and at any time. If you see someone deserving of praise, take a minute and say so.

4. The gift of a smile

William Arthur Ward once said: “A warm smile is the universal language for kindness.”

A smile costs us nothing but may mean everything to someone else. A person’s downcast attitude can instantly change if they see someone cares – something achievable through the simple act of a genuine smile.

5. The gift of (active) listening

In a remotely ideal world, the act of attentive listening wouldn’t be a “gift,” but in today’s society, it is. People the world over are inundated with distractions (with technology leading the way), rendering the art of listening mute.

When you take the time to sit down, look someone in the eye, and allocate 100 percent of your attention to them, you are providing a gift. Aside from demonstrating that you’re a good listener, you, in turn, show respect for them as a person.

6. The gift of our time

Time is a fleeting resource often used in pursuit of the wrong things. Some of the noblest professions – teachers, social workers, police officers, for example – spend most of their time interacting with people.

But we don’t have to spend 40 hours in a classroom, office, or squad car to provide the gift of service. Whether it’s routinely volunteering an hour here and there, conversing with someone experiencing hardship, or making yourself available, there are plenty of ways to spend our extra time to the benefit of others.

time

7. The gift of your passion

Everyone has something of which they’re passionate. The question is whether we’re using our passions to benefit society.

Do you love pets? Animal shelters are always looking for some extra help. Do you enjoy gardening? Look for community garden projects that need a hand. Love to paint? Plenty of community projects are seeking volunteers for everything from painting a building to painting a mural.

8. The gift of patience

This may sound like a childhood lesson, but everyone develops at their own pace. Don’t give up on someone because they haven’t fulfilled yours or others expectations.

“Patience is a virtue,” with some requiring more patience than others. Patience, in reality, is a manifestation of tolerance. People are capable of making a turn for the better – and we should encourage them to do just that.

9. The gift of sincerity

This next point is arguable, admittedly – but a shortfall of sincere, goodhearted people is evident in far too many places. In other terms, the population of deceitful and hypocritical individuals is disproportionately high.

To be sincere, one must display honor, honesty, and strong character. To be labeled as “sincere” is the utmost compliment – and a gift to those who know you.

10. The gift of tough love

It is wonderful to be a sensitive and compassionate person – but it’s not the only way to demonstrate love, and, in fact, can be counterproductive. Those who dish out tough love (think of a parent or teacher) recognize a pattern of failure that requires some constructive feedback.

We all need someone to provide advice, guidance, and the occasional kick in the butt. This isn’t easy for the “disciplinarian,” and it certainly isn’t easy for the recipient. But the right thing isn’t always the easy thing. Tough love for the win.

11. The gift of equality

We could write 3,000 words on the importance of equality, but we’ll desist.

Most notably, we’ve seen the harsh consequences of inequality and intolerance due to race, gender, and religious beliefs. Today, countries justify the bombing of a sovereign nation using cryptic, deliberately misleading statements.

To embrace and accept one another as equals is humankind at its finest. We may agree or disagree on matters; yet, there is a clear difference between civil discourse and disavowing one’s humanity.

What Advice Do You Need To Hear, According To Your Zodiac Sign?

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There’s no doubt about it – last year was a trying year for many of us. We had to endure financial hardships, relationship troubles, mounting stress, and, in general, simply a collective exhaustion about the current state of affairs globally. We all want change, but until it comes, we all have to work to enjoy our lives the best we can. Fortunately, your zodiac sign can help guide your life path.

So we hope this article will help you this year and put things in perspective for you, according to your zodiac sign. Everyone needs advice sometimes, and we certainly don’t mind giving it when you might need it the most.

What Advice Do You Need To Hear, According To Your Zodiac Sign?

zodiac advice

Aries (March 21st to April 19th)

Don’t make any decisions until you’ve had time to thoroughly think things through. Aries tend to jump the gun in many situations, either out of excitement, frustration, impatience, or all three. However, it does pay off to think about a choice before you act on it, because as we know, every action bears a consequence. Sure, taking risks can result in huge rewards, too, but even risk-takers weigh the pros and cons of their decisions before making them.

Just remember to think about how the decision will affect your life, and if it will benefit it positively, then we say: “Go for it!”

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)

You might expect others to treat you how you treat them, and that would hold true in a perfect world, but it doesn’t always work that way here. You can give someone your whole heart, only to have it crushed and broken. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love with your entire being, because holding back could mean missing out on your one true love. Love everyone you come across; the right one will never want to throw your love away.

Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)

While you have a free-spirited aura about you, dear Gemini, you also tend to weigh other people’s opinions too heavily in how you choose to live your life. Remember that only you can decide how you want to live, not others. No one knows but you what truly makes you happy, so always follow your heart, even if other people don’t see your vision. You aren’t here to please others; you’re here to find your route to happiness and success, even if you have to venture into uncharted territory.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)

As a fellow Cancer writing this article, I completely relate to the complex mind and heart of the crab. I know living in these times here on Earth can feel suffocating and exhausting, but we must rise with the tides and learn to brave the impending storms. This zodiac signs shows that we cannot blame others or force them to see things our way. Indeed, we must own our responsibilities and weaknesses, and learn to fend for ourselves. We also have to look at our strengths, and see how they can help us navigate turbulent seas. Use your sensitivity as a strength, because the world desperately needs our compassionate hearts right now.

Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)

Those under the Leo zodiac sign tend to compare their lives to others, or wish their life looked a little different. However, this does nothing but allow depression to set in, and sucks the joy right out from under you. Learn to love your life now, and improve upon it as you go. Set goals and go after them, because complaining about your life won’t get you anywhere. Use your confident, cheerful attitude to your advantage, and do whatever your heart guides you to. Water your own grass, and don’t worry about how it looks on the other side of the fence.

Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgo, you tend to put people on a pedestal quite easily, and can fall victim to their mind games. You have a big heart, but don’t let people take advantage of that. Remember to set boundaries, and if someone can’t respect them, then show them the door. You deserve the best, so don’t settle for less than that.

best not stress

Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libra, you can flit from one thing to another quite quickly, as your mind feels like an Energizer bunny running at full speed constantly. Give your mind a rest, and learn to enjoy the silence for a bit. Go deep within yourself this year to figure out what you really want to do with your life, and how you can make a living out of it. You may not enjoy conventional jobs as much, so let your entrepreneurial mindset take over in 2017. The effort you put in now will certainly show later on.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)

Scorpio, you have innate creativity about you that can take you far in life. However, you sometimes wait around for other people’s approval instead of just forging ahead and trusting your own instincts and what makes you happy. Remember, you don’t need permission to be awesome, so just go ahead and light the world on fire with your brazen spirit, and the rest will fall into place naturally.

Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)

Sagittarius, you have an adventurous, infectious personality, but you can get hot-headed pretty easily when things don’t go your way. Your zodiac sign reminds you to just go with the flow, and use the roadblocks as an opportunity to take a detour and enjoy the view from a new path. It isn’t always the situation, but how you react to it that can really make or break you.

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)

Capricorn, you have an amazing work ethic, but you can get burnt out if you don’t learn to slow down and take time out for yourself. You don’t have to rush to accomplish your goals; in fact, you can enjoy that victory a lot more once you stop to smell the roses and treat life as an adventure rather than a race.

Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)

Aquarius, you love to live in the clouds and daydream to your heart’s content, but unfortunately, you have to come back down to reality sometimes and deal with real life issues. You can get what you want in life, but you have to learn to deal with the less fun “adult” problems while still striving toward your dreams.

Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)

Pisces, you have an amazing sense of intuition, so why don’t you listen to it more often? If something doesn’t feel right in your gut, then make sure you listen to your instincts. The longer you ignore them, the worse the problem or situation will become, your zodiac sign warns.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

15 Good Ideas For A Bad Day

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“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” – Jim Rohn

Not one of us is immune to the occasional bad day; it happens, it sucks, now what?

While we may not be responsible for everything that contributes to a bad day; it is our responsibility to control what can be controlled. At any point, we can decide to do something different and make each day better. Too many people nowadays cede their inner happiness to outside influences – at work, home or elsewhere; but happiness is not determined by our environment unless we allow it to be.

Miyamoto Musashi, widely considered to be among the best warriors of all time, once said: “There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.”

The purpose of this article isn’t to dwell on the philosophies of happiness or lack thereof. In retrospect, citing the master swordsman and philosopher Musashi may have been aiming a bit high (sorry!) It is a great quote, though, isn’t it?

Anyways, we’re simply going to list 15 things that we can do to make each day better. It is our sincere hope that, by implementing one or more of these, that you have a better today, tomorrow, and future.

15 Good Ideas For A Bad Day

1. Breathe mindfully

Breathing is life, and life is breathing – an all-important facet in today’s crazy world.

Modern society embraces “the rush” of consumption, competition, improvement, 24/7 news…constant activity, in other words. We don’t necessarily “want” culture to influence how we behave, and we don’t have to.

Solely taking 5 deep, mindful breaths relaxes our body and mind; taking us away from the circus for a bit.

2. Drink plenty of water

Can you survive on one or two glasses of water a day? Sure. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not. Drinking at least 8 to 10 glasses of water daily is a natural elixir to both mind and body.

Make a habit of carrying a full water bottle everywhere you go. You’ll discover that maintaining proper hydration may just be enough to turn a bad day into a good one.

3. Make your bed

Admittedly, there is nothing fun about making your bed; so why do we include this monotonous activity? Because mindfully making your bed a daily habit provides a sense of accomplishment. Small victories matter in maintaining a positive outlook throughout the day (more on this later.)

4. Take a shower

Or, if you’re pressed for time, splash some cold water on your face. Both have a way of rejuvenating a lethargic body and mind. For added benefit, take a shower or wash your face with mindfulness (unwavering attention).

5. Get outside

Research has shown that immersing yourself in nature is one of the most powerful stress relievers there is. For one, the body is exposed to sunlight which can naturally replenish energy reserves. Also, you’ll be getting a bit of exercise; this will provide some needed oxygen and blood flow to the brain and body.

6. Get a snack (no junk food)

Consuming a natural, well-balanced diet is key to maintaining a healthy mind and body. When our blood sugar levels drop, we’ll inevitably feel sluggish and irritable. While it may be tempting to reach for some candy, snacking on healthier alternatives – nuts, dried fruit, or seeds – provides vital nourishment that sugar-laden snacks do not.

7. Change your environment

Today’s office environment can be depressing and stifling. If you have the option of taking some of your work elsewhere, take advantage. If not, use your break and lunch times to get away.

8. Listen to some upbeat music

Music has a wonderful way of instantly changing our mindset to a more positive one. There is a physiological reason for this; the brain releases “feel good” chemicals called endorphins when exposed to the music we enjoy.

An Oxford University professor explains: “Psychologically, endorphin release is experienced as a mild opiate ‘high,’ a corresponding feeling of well-being, and light analgesia.”

9. Accomplish something small

Upon awakening, it is not unusual to run a “to-do” list through our head before we even get out the door; this can quickly manifest into a sense of overwhelm.

One way to circumvent this response is to accomplish some small task with our full attention. This can be packing your kid’s lunch, brushing your teeth, shaving, driving to work, and so forth. This prepares the brain for more challenging things ahead – and with a more optimistic mindset.

mind

10. Get some exercise!

Exercise can be a brisk 10-minute walk in the morning or a full-fledged workout. We needn’t rehash the abundance of research proving the benefits of exercise. Suffice to say that little else, if anything, is better for health and promoting a positive frame of mind.

11. Watch or look at something cute/funny

Similar to exercising and listening to music, laughter and joy causes our brain to release feel-good hormones. Watch some short YouTube clip that gets you rolling, or find some cute pictures of dogs on your phone.

12. Write down your thoughts

Writing down our thoughts serves as a “release.” Instead of compartmentalizing and revisiting the same thoughts (a lovely trait of the brain), writing things down – or better yet, keeping a journal – allows us to organize our many thoughts and release the stress that often accompanies them.

13. Get to bed!

Having and keeping a consistent, healthy sleep schedule does more than ensure a good night’s rest. Research has shown that quality, routine sleep improves concentration and memory; mood and energy levels, and helps maintain a healthy weight.

14. Exercise your mind

If you’re like everyone else, you have to work for a living. Work can be monotonous, boring, and downright stressful. Too often, our brain development stagnates as a result.

Related article: 5 Ways to Get Out of A Bad Mood In Less Than 5 Minutes

Do something you’ve always wanted that requires an active mind: learn a foreign language, take up an instrument, do a crossword puzzle, download a “brain training” app, learn how to draw…the opportunities are endless.

Your brain will sharpen; your confidence will increase, and you’ll be anxious to tackle the challenges in days to come!

15. Be mindful

We touched on this a bit earlier, but mindfulness can completely change your outlook and your life.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), explains: “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally. It’s about knowing what is in your mind.”

The key phrase: non-judgmentally. Not allowing negative thoughts to derail your happiness; and promoting feelings of relaxation, positive affect, and happiness.

https://youtu.be/vhsRMjDIiNc

Resources:
Douglas, S. (2013, January 15). Study: Performing Music Gets Us High. Retrieved March 21, 2017, from https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/study-performing-music-gets-us-high/267138/
Foundation for a Mindful Society. (2015). Jon Kabat-Zinn: Defining Mindfulness. Retrieved March 21, 2017, from http://www.mindful.org/jon-kabat-zinn-defining-mindfulness/
Main, E. (2012, March 9). The Natural Way To Calm Down. Retrieved March 21, 2017, from http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/spending-time-outside-relieves-stress
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
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