“Confidence can be described as a belief in one’s ability to succeed. Striking a healthy balance can be challenging. Too much of it and you can come off as cocky and stumble into unforeseen obstacles, but having too little can prevent you from taking risks and seizing opportunities – in school, at work, in your social life, and beyond.” – Psychology Today
Have you ever met someone who could just mesmerize you with their presence? With the way they talk, walk, stand up, sit down…you get the idea. Some people just exude radiant qualities that attract people. Some are utterly devoid of any perceptible inner qualities.
When they talk, they’re captivating. When you speak, they’re listening. There’s a mutual connection – not always in a romantic sort of way – that just leaves you wanting more of them.
Tony Robbins is an example of such an individual. Whether or not you happen to be a Robbins fan (this writer is not) doesn’t matter much. His cult-like throngs of followers are indicative of the man’s attractive qualities that appeal to millions.
Call it confidence, charisma, allure, charm, magnetism, etc.; some people just have that “it” factor that others love.
In this article, we discuss ten behaviors of people with a high level of confidence. Let’s get going!
10 Habits of People With High Confidence
1. The right body language
Those with a high level of confidence exhibit this trait in the way that they carry themselves. This isn’t to say that confident people feel confident at all times, but they understand the importance of appearing that way. Furthermore, they know that posture strongly correlates with feeling – a mind and body connection.
2. A sincere interest in others
Many of us try to think of a response while someone else is speaking. We do so because “uncomfortable silence” is something that feels unnatural and unaccommodating – a byproduct of social pressure that is not accurate in the least. True sincerity lies in bypassing the need to sound interesting, and using that energy to invest in others.
3. Being curious
Having a one-sided conversation is not interesting (or respectful) in the least. People who understand that everyone has a story, and takes this perspective with them, are more likely to attract others. Encourage someone to talk about themselves, and don’t sweat the details of what they have to say.
4. Sharing the spotlight
Confident people aren’t usually too concerned with being at the center. Forget the image of the high school jock in the hallway; the most confident men and women are also some of the most selfless. They’ll generously share the spotlight; heaping deserved praise onto worthy recipients and making an effort to lift the spirit of others.
5. Having a powerful message
Well, having a powerful message with the right purpose that is. Some personal stories are very inspirational (e.g. Tony Robbins, Kevin Spacey), and conveyed with a selfless and humble disposition. By all means, tell your story but try to contextualize it in a way that benefits someone else.
6. Being an active listener
According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, expressing interest and asking questions “caused participants to be more open to the idea of having a conversation with the speaker…and to judge the conclusions of the speech as more valid.”
In other words, talk less and listen more.
7. Forgetting the need to be right
Okay, more science-based stuff here. In a study conducted at Emory University, the brain’s primitive “fight or flight” response activates in proportion to their interest in the topic at hand. Simply put, the need to feel right is ingrained within the human brain, especially when passions are stoked – and this is true regardless of evidence or rationale.
The most confident people will suppress many of these primitive emotions; choosing instead to engage and sustain a conversation with someone regardless of their opposing viewpoints.
8. Start with a positive mindset
Starting the day with a positive state of mind makes navigating the day much easier. We’ll begin conversations on a positive note, act more respectfully and sincerely, and leave a positive impact wherever we go.
9. Displaying vulnerability
Contrary to what far too many people still believe, showing vulnerability is not an act of weakness. It is a very human act that is both charming and compelling. Being vulnerable has a way of establishing trust and revealing a sense of confidence. Displaying vulnerability also delivers a powerful message: that it’s okay to be less than perfect, and that we needn’t be so hard on ourselves.
No big surprise here. Confident people are more self-assured – and in many cases, happier – than other, less secure personality types. Even a slight smile will immediately lower many people’s guard; making them more willing to listen to what you have to say. They’ll also have an established sense of trust when it’s time for you to listen.
Chen, F. S., Minson, J. A., & Tormala, Z. L. (2010). Tell me more: The effects of expressed interest on receptiveness during dialog [Abstract]. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46(5), 850-853. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2010.04.012
Cox-Clark, B., Baglov, P., Hamann, S., Herenski, K., & Kilts, C. (2006, January 24). Emory Study Lights Up the Political Brain. Retrieved March 10, 2017, from http://www.emory.edu/news/Releases/PoliticalBrain1138113163.html
Ph.D., J. E., Ph.D., S. G., Ph.D., M. D., & Ph.D., G. W. (n.d.). Confidence. Retrieved March 10, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/confidence
Young, K., MA. (2015, October 12). Charisma: How to Radiate Warmth and Confidence. Retrieved March 10, 2017, from http://www.heysigmund.com/charisma-how-to-radiate-warmth-and-confidence/
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