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5 Feelings Couples Experience In A Loving Relationship

November 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Couples who are in a deeply loving relationship don’t always feel lovey dovey; that would be unnatural. Being in a caring relationship with another person means that you both experience feelings within the boundary of a safe partnership.

The range of emotions that you experience as a couple can range from feeling exhilarated over a positive event like a promotion, to feeling sorrow when one of you loses a loved one. Being there for your partner in good times and in bad is what a strong, loving relationship is all about.

5 Feelings Couples Experience In A Loving Relationship

1. Trust

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair” – Unknown

The feeling of trust is perhaps the most important one for couples in a loving relationship. Loving couples feel that they can rely on their partner not only to be honest but to provide a safe environment, protect their feelings, be reliable and build an intimate emotional bond.

Trust is key to a healthy sex life since this is the most vulnerable that couples can be with their physical selves and their feelings. Marriage and couples counselor Dr. Richard Nicastro says that “During sex, the stakes are always elevated because sexual intimacy is inherently risky emotional business – that is, the level of emotional vulnerability evoked with someone you deeply care about presents both the potential for intimate sharing and authentic contact and, when things go awry, emotional wounding and withdrawal.”

2. Concern

When one partner hurts, the other half of the relationship often hurts for them. This concern for the feelings of your partner is part of your loving bond. Feeling concern means that loving couples care and feel empathy for their partner.

When one partner is worried, couples in deep love feel the stress together. Because the relationship is a partnership, they work together to solve problems. Loving partners also feel concern when partner is dealing with recovery from an illness.

3. Frustration

Although anger is something that partners feel, more often couples feel frustration over miscommunication. Feeling frustration is usually a result of one partner’s expectations not being met. Either your partner didn’t know what you expected or they knew and didn’t follow through.

If one partner has said “I’m not a mind reader!” it’s probably because the partners aren’t good at communicating their needs. Loving couples all experience this and because they care, they work on clearly communicating their needs to their partner.

If one partner didn’t do what was expected, loving couples handle these multiple ways. The easiest is to just let it go. Whatever caused the frustration is in the past now so a loving spouse will forgive and continue to feel deep love for their partner in spite of their faults.

Or, partners may decide to confront their spouse and express that they let them down this one time. They explain what they would like them to do differently next time, and thank them for listening.

4. Hope

Loving couples are supportive of their shared hopes and aspirations. They have a long future ahead of them and they are have a positive outlook. They can see what they’ve been able to overcome in their relationship this far and they feel hopeful for what’s to come.

Loving couples expect the best, but plan for the worst. Everett L. Worthington Jr., author of Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy says that the focus on hope is a focus on solutions to problems. Worthington says that hope-focused counseling counters negative patterns and replaces them with a positive focus of hope which shows couples how to mutually value each other.

5. Devotion

Of course loving couples feel romantic love for each other, but devotion to each other is so much more. Partners who are devoted feel loyal to their partner. They are kind and supportive. Devoted couples are supportive of their partner’s decisions. They will be there through good times and bad.

Loving couples with feelings of devotion are deeply committed to their partner. Not only would they never cheat, they envision the next 50 or more years with their love. This is a characteristic of the deep, true love that passionate, romantic, couples feel.

According to Dr. Terry Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, unlike what Hollywood films make us believe, passion in a loving relationship can fade over time, but it can be rekindled. Orbuch says: “Passionate sex is a byproduct of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness.”

Over the course of their relationship, couples who are deeply in love will strengthen their emotional bond. The shared feelings that they experience bring them closer together.

This Is Why You Should Sleep On Your Left Side

November 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

A good night’s rest is important to your health, energy, and attitude. On a good night, we spend many hours resting and letting our bodies recover from the day’s stress. The position you sleep in can help or hinder your body’s functioning while resting. The alignment of your internal organs may be one reason why sleeping on your left side is better.

Why the Side You Sleep on Matters

Although some of our organs come in mirrored pairs, like our lungs and kidneys, most of the organs in our body are different on each side. For example, the bulk of our stomach and the spleen lies on the left side, and most of our liver and gallbladder are on the right side.

Sometimes we experience health problems that only affect one side of our body and not the other. You may notice your left eye was twitching but not the right. Maybe you experience a sudden cramp on your right side bit, not the other. Consult with your physician if you have symptoms that are specific to one side of the body or the other.

This Is Why You Should Sleep On Your Left Side

There are multiple reasons why you should sleep on your left side. Certified Ayurvedic Therapist Dr. John Drouillard says that left-side sleeping posture has the following benefits for our well-being:

Facilitate lymphatic drainage
Heart pumps downhill
Better elimination of bowels
Support healthy spleen function
Encourages proper digestion
Helps circulation back to the heart
Helps bile flow freely

The lymphatic duct is where lymph fluid drains and it is located on the left side of the body. Lying this way while you sleep allows gravity to help the fluid drain to where it should go. After the lymph fluid is purified, it drains into the left side of the heart.

When you say the pledge, you put your hand over your heart, which is on the left side of your chest. When you sleep on this side, the blood from the biggest artery in your heart heads down to your abdomen. Again, gravity is helping the heart work more efficiently in this position.

Another reason why Dr. Drouillard says that you should sleep like this is for easier bowel function. The large intestine dumps waste into the descending colon on your left side. Again, helping this process is another reason you should sleep like this.

The spleen on the left side of our body filters blood. Therefore, sleeping in this position helps blood to flow into the spleen more easily.

Lying on your left allows the liver and gallbladder on the right side of the body to secrete bile which then is assisted by gravity to flow into your stomach and pancreas on the left side.

Sleeping this way is so beneficial to digestion that Dr. Drouillard recommends lying on your left side for a brief nap following a big meal. He says this will help give you energy after the meal rather than make you sleepy.

There may be a good reason why pregnant women should sleep this way. For pregnant women, especially late in term, researchers at the Veterans General Hospital-Taipei found that the left side sleeping position was the most beneficial. This is due to the enhanced blood pressure-lowering effect of this sleep position on the heart.

Side sleeping can be beneficial over back sleeping to prevent snoring. For those who have sleep apnea, side sleeping is a preventative tool. With sleep apnea, the breathing becomes blocked by the relaxed tongue. As a result, the patient stops breathing periodically through the night. Side sleeping fixes this, although either side is better than back sleeping for those with sleep apnea.

Although you may start your sleep on your left side, very few people wake up exactly in the same pose they went to sleep in. If you occasionally wake yourself enough during sleep to realize what position you are in, try resuming sleep on your left side to continue to have the health benefits left-side sleeping gives you.

Why Right is Right (for Some)

Certain health conditions may benefit from sleeping on the right rather than the left side. For example, researchers at the Sleep Research Laboratory of the Toronto Rehabilitation Institute found that patients with Congestive Heart Failure rolled onto their right sides more often than their left sides as they slept. Researchers believe that heart failure patients do this as a way to protect themselves from the discomfort associated with the enlarged heart beating against the chest cavity.

Similarly, a study published in the American Journal of Cardiology found that patients with Coronary Artery Disease should sleep on their right sides because doing so increased the interval between heartbeats.

Right-side sleeping can be wrong for those who suffer from GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). According to Dr. Matthew Edlund, M.D., GERD patients who sleep on their right sides experience increased symptoms and may lose sleep due to discomfort.

A Walk In The Woods – Relational Psychology Test

November 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Personality quizzes have become so popular in social media these days. It seems that when it comes to learning about ourselves, we can’t get enough.

Relational psychology theory is based on the interaction of human beings. People do not exist in isolation. They interact with many people and their psychological well-being comes mainly from having meaningful relationships with others.

A relational psychotherapist seeks to help clients grow through strong connections to others. The practitioner looks at the many aspects of our social context and how they impact the client. These can include your race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, family, religion, culture, class and your perceptions of the importance of these.

How Much Can a Personality Quiz Really Tell Me About Myself?

This type of test asks you to visualize yourself going for a walk in the woods with a person, and reacting to things around you. Visualization reflects how you would likely act in that situation. Your predictions of your own behavior in this situation give you a small amount of insight into your personality.

Your deepest thoughts, feelings, morals and beliefs are not revealed in this test. People most often respond strongly to the interpretation of their response to the last question. Often, they feel defensive as this is a private topic and the interpretation can feel like a judgment is being made.

If you feel this way about the last question, it is revealing about your feelings about society’s expectations of you. How comfortable do you feel with the topic? Are you repressing feelings because of social convention?

Am I Normal?

This psychology test is not going to diagnose any major psychological problems. It would not help identify psychotic behavior because you don’t have an impartial observer to analyze your results.

You can ask yourself, ‘If a normal person read how I responded to this psychology test, would they think I was normal?’ If the answer is yes, then you should have a fairly normal personality. You can also ask the question and this time imagine that a licensed psychotherapist was reading your results. How would they respond?

A Walk In The Woods – Relational Psychology Test

This is a guided imagery personality test. Either write down your responses to the questions or just remember them for the interpretation at the end. Don’t skip ahead to read the analysis of the answers first; do the test first, then read the results.

Picture yourself walking through a forest.

1. Who are you walking with?

As you continue on in your walk through the forest, you come across an animal.

2. What kind of animal is it?

You approach the animal.

3. What does the animal do?

You’re walking deeper into the woods and you come to a clearing. There’s a house in the middle of the clearing.

4. How big is the house? Is it fenced in or not?

As you walk up to the door of the home you see that it is open. You enter and see a table.

5. Describe what you see on and around the table.

As you leave out the back door, you find a cup.

6. What is the cup made out of? What do you do with the cup?

As you walk to the end of the clearing, you find yourself at a body of water.

7. What kind of body of water is it?

You must cross this water in order to get home.

8. How wet do you get crossing the water?

Analysis of Your Answers

1. The person you were walking with is an important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal you come across is a representation of your perception of the size of your current problems.

3. The way in which you approach the animal represents how you handle your problems. You are seen as either active or passive toward your problems.

4. The size of your home is representative of the size of your ambitions.

If there was no fence around the home, it means you tend to be more open to other people. If there was a fence, then you tend to exclude others.

5. If the table was empty, (no food, people, or flowers) it may indicate some unhappiness in your life.

6. How durable the cup you found was is representative of how strong your relationship is with the person that you were walking with. What you do with it is representative of your attitude toward that person.

7. The size of the body of water is related to the size of your sexual drive or desire for intimacy.

8. If you became very wet crossing the water, it indicates that intimacy is important to you. But if not very wet, it may mean that it’s less important.

If you are troubled by your results from this quiz, you can seek the help of a licensed counselor in your area here to speak to about your concerns.

3 Ways To Cleanse Your Aura Of Negative Energy

November 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Your aura is an energy field radiating from your head and body. Your aura can be thought of as containing a projection of your physical self but in a non-physical form. The aura can also contain any part of the non-physical you; your emotions, thoughts, and spirit.

Click here to find out what color Aura you have!

Some people who have a heightened awareness can see the aura, even though it is not visible to the naked eye. You can test your perceptiveness of auras by trying an exercise to ‘see’ your own aura or that of another person.

How to See Auras

To try seeing someone’s aura for the first time, gaze at the person for about a minute. Close your eyes. See the clear outline of the person inside your eyelids, as if they had a bright light behind them. That outline is their aura.

You can do this for yourself by either looking at yourself in a mirror or gazing at your own hand. You may see the outline as a color or it may appear to vibrate or pulse.

When you work with extrasensory perception (ESP), it is easy to distrust what your sixth sense is ‘seeing.’ For example when you try this exercise, you might say that you thought someone’s aura was yellow, but that was only because they were wearing a yellow shirt.

Second-guessing yourself is the enemy of ESP. You already don’t trust what you are seeing with your mind’s eye because it isn’t really there in the physical world. Usually your first impression is correct. Trust your gut instinct because that is the key to perceiving beyond the physical realm.

Auras Are Real Enough to be Studied by Science

There are special cameras that capture the energy aura of the body. With these cameras that can see the energy that is not visible to the naked eye, researchers can test how auras respond to treatment.

A study at the City University London used energy field visualization cameras and measured energy fields for subjects before and after a stress-reduction therapy. Measured energy fields were strengthened when the subjects went through a stress therapy technique such as meditation or yoga.

Negative Energy and Your Aura

When you are depressed, your psychic energy is also depressed. Negative emotions like fear and anxiety create blockages to our physical energy as well as our emotional energy and aura.

When you can clear your aura of negativity, you have freedom from what is holding you back. Let’s examine three ways to clear your aura of negative energy.

Here Are Three Ways to Cleanse Your Aura of Negative Energy

1. Clean Your Aura.

Your energy field can become cluttered with emotional baggage or blocked energy. Here are a few of options for cleansing your aura:

Sunlight: Go outside and get some healthy sun exposure to revitalize your energy.
Swimming, especially in saltwater: Do you have access to the ocean or a saltwater pool. A quick dip can often help. The salt physically and emotionally cleanses away psychic debris.
Bathing with Epsom salts: A bath with Epsom salts is an at-home way to stimulate the flow of your energy.
Meditation: Sitting quietly at peace can help to release negative energy and emotions.

2. Heal Your Aura.

Just like your mental well-being, the vital energy of your aura can become damaged due to traumas experienced in life. To heal your aura, you may need the help of a professional to work through the negative feelings that you have. Then you can release them and find peace.

If you’d like the help of a professional, you can seek out a licensed counselor. On the other hand, you may find a clairvoyant who can help identify a blockage to the energy of your aura.

On your own, you can try these techniques to clear out the psychic damage and release negative energy:

Forgiveness: Not only letting go of the pain in your past but forgiving the person who caused it can clear the negative energy from your aura.
Visualization: Imagine a white light filling your body and extending out through your skin. As it fills the space in and around you, the white light pushes any dark or cloudy parts out of your aura.

3. Protect Your Aura.

Once you have cleaned and healed your aura, you need to protect it from future damage. Since we are talking about psychological pain, you need to protect yourself from being hurt by others’ emotional energy.

Being empathetic to others means that you understand how they are feeling. Sometimes we feel their pain right along with them. Being empathetic is a kind gesture, but you should never do so at the expense of your own mental health.

If you are sensitive to the aura energy of others, you can accidentally pick up their negative energies, which can affect your own aura. To protect yourself, try these techniques:

Awareness: Recognize when the emotions that you feel belong to someone else. If your spouse is angry, identify that emotion and acknowledge it, but remind yourself that it is their anger, not yours.
Self-love: Protect yourself from psychological attacks by loving yourself more than the attacker. You do not deserve abuse.
Visualize a shield: Visualize your glowing white aura expanding to surround your body in a protective zone that cannot be invaded by others. See the aura as a white bubble that can flex, but never burst.

11 Life Lessons To Learn From John Lennon

November 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

John Lennon managed to pack a lot of living into his too short, 40-year life. He left his love of life, love, and creativity for us to learn from. Lennon’s writings and his voice from the interviews that he granted were recorded for posterity.

Here are eleven valuable life lessons that we can learn from the genius mind of John Lennon.

11 Life Lessons to Learn From John Lennon

1. Love is all you need, but it takes effort.

“Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”

“Love is like a flower – you’ve got to let it grow.”

2. If we want peace, we can have it now.

“Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.”

“Declare it. Just the same way we declare war. That is how we will have peace, we just need to declare it.”

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”

3. We can find God within ourselves.

“I believe in God, but not as one thing. Not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.”

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain.”

4. Experiences of the mind are real.

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind.”

“Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realized that the imagery in my mind wasn’t insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.”

“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.”

5. We should be who we are.

“I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people.”

“It doesn’t matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or whether I’m a woman or a man.”

“It’s weird not to be weird.”

“You don”t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

6. Don’t let other people dictate your choices.

“Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip.”

“Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”

7. Fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

“The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.”

“It was like being in the eye of a hurricane. You’d wake up in a concert and think, Wow, how did I get here?”

8. Materialism is overrated.

“Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law. It’s nine-tenths of the problem.”

“I was asked in an interview which was more important: money or love? I told the interviewer that if he had to ask the question, he wouldn’t understand the answer.”

9. Take pride in your work.

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.”

“My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”

10. Family is everything, said John Lennon.

“He didn’t come out of my belly, but my God, I’ve made his bones, because I’ve attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I’m so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride.”

“But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.”

11. You can free yourself from fear.

“Why in the world are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear.”

“I’m not afraid of death because I don’t believe in it. It’s just getting out of one car, and into another.”

8 Health Warnings Your Fingernails May Be Sending You

November 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

We usually take our fingernails for granted unless it’s time to clean them or groom them. While you’re ignoring them, your nails are sending you a message about your health and well-being. If you’ve not given them much thought before, it might be time to pay attention to these 8 health warnings that your fingernails are trying to send you.

Nail Function

Ever get a splinter under your nail? Do you wonder how something so small can hurt so much? The amount of pain that you feel is due to all of those sensitive nerve endings beneath the surface. Our sense of touch provides valuable information to us about our environment.

Our fingernails are like armor for the nerve endings of the finger. As a hard, protective coating for your fingertip, they provide shelter for the nerves and blood vessels.

In addition to protection, they also enhance our sense of touch.

As you press down to touch something, the nail acts as a surface to push against.

Parts of the Nail

Our fingernails have several working parts. These are the nail root, nail bed, nail plate, and cuticle. These structures each have their own part to play in the growth of healthy fingernails.

The nail root is the white half-moon of your fingernail. The root generates the growth of the hard fingernail. The nail bed contains the nerves and blood vessels. The hard fingernail plate is made of keratin. The cuticle makes a waterproof barrier between the fingernail plate and the skin of the finger.

Why Our Nails Reflect Health

Since they take time to grow, just like our hair, our fingernails can reflect health problems that happen over time. Dermatologist Christine Poblete-Lopez, MD., says ‘Your nails are a very good reflection of your health. Many things can occur in the nails that can signify systemic or skin problems.’

8 Health Warnings Your Fingernails May Be Sending You

1. Ridges down the nail

Ridges are easily fixed cosmetically by filing. But ridges growing down the length of your fingernail could be a health warning. Ridges can develop in our fingernails naturally as we age but they can also be due to poor nutrition, thyroid disease, or even kidney failure.

2. Ridges across the nail

Ridges horizontally across the fingernail can occur at the time of an illness to the rest of the body. The line will continue to grow toward the tip over time but it formed at the time of the illness. Chemotherapy, injury, and Reynaud’s disease can also cause horizontal lines to appear on the fingernail.

3. Brittle

Fingernails that break easily can be strengthened by taking B7 supplements (Biotin). Nail fungus, and low thyroid, or nail psoriasis could also be the cause of brittle nails.

4. Yellow nails

Nails can become discolored due to prolonged use of nail polish, so if you regularly use nail lacquer, it may not be a concern. However, yellow nails can have a much more serious cause. Yellowing of the nails can be a warning sign of lymphodema, tuberculosis, or liver disease.

5. Other discoloration

Yellowing is most common, but nails can turn other colors as well. Dark stripes on your fingernail are concerning as they could indicate a form of skin cancer. White lines on the fingernail might be a warning sign of liver disease or malnutrition.

White nails (as opposed to pink past the nail root) are due to low blood flow to the nail bed. Thus, white nails can warn of liver or kidney disease, heart failure, diabetes, anemia, overactive thyroid or malnutrition.

Dark streaks under the nail that usually run vertically are usually no major health concern. They are most commonly the result of broken blood vessels and a result of injury, not illness.

6. Dents or Pitting

Dents can appear as small pits across the surface of the fingernail or a single indentation in the fingernail plate. Although a dent in your fingernail can be a result of an injury to your finger, it could also be a warning of reactive arthritis. Other health-related causes of dents in the fingernails include psoriasis, eczema, or alopecia areata (hair loss).

7. Indented Fingernails

Fingernails that become recessed into the nail bed are sometimes called spoon-shaped because in some cases they could actually hold a drop of liquid.

Spoon nails can be a warning sign of thyroid disease or iron deficiency.

8. Fingernail Separation

When the fingernail plate separates from the nail bed. If you didn’t simply smash your finger in something, this splitting can be due to many different health problems. Thyroid disease, poor circulation, and lupus are possible medical disorders associated with separation.

Most commonly, this separation is from nail fungus. Separation due to nail fungus is usually found on the outer edges of the nail back toward the cuticle. A dermatologist can help you with a remedy for nail fungus.

You can use the appearance of your fingernails as an early self-diagnosis tool. If you are experiencing these fingernail symptoms and have a concern, consult with your health care professional to see if you have any underlying health problems.

5 Signs You’re In Love With the Wrong Person

November 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Many people know what it takes to maintain balanced, happy relationships in life: love, trust, compassion, compromise, laughter, a deep connection, and respect, to name a few.

However, a lot of us don’t even recognize if we’re in love with the wrong person…

To cultivate supportive, healthy relationships in life, you have to find out what you don’t want, and sometimes that involves being in the wrong relationship.

Here’s how to tell:

5 Telling Signs You’re In Love with the Wrong Person

1. You aren’t comfortable spending time apart

At the beginning of a relationship, you naturally want to spend as much time with the person as you can since everything about it feels fresh and new, and you absolutely love the person you’re with.

Of course, you still feel the same about your guy or girl after a few months, but you might crave some time away from them occasionally to continue your own personal growth.

While your partner should be a huge part of your life, it’s important to make sure they’re not the only part of your life. Research shows that once a relationship becomes stagnant, people start to forget why they’re in the relationship to begin with, and look for a way out so they can feel that initial spark again with someone new.

To avoid having this happen, hanging out with friends or spending time alone is important in keeping the spark alive in the relationship and being able to grow evenly during time spent apart.

If this time apart doesn’t feel comfortable, there is an underlying trust issue, and since trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, you may want to reassess your relationship.

2. You don’t understand exactly how to make the other feel truly loved.

We all have different preferences when it comes to receiving love. In the wrong relationship, one or both of the partners fail to understand the others needs. If you want to care for them in the best way possible, but don’t know how, remember that something as small as a cup of coffee in the morning or a warm dinner at night can be just the right touch to fixing a wronged relationship.

This is effectively done through the right communication. You don’t expect the other to read your mind. You learn, get to know your partner and act in a way that makes them fall in love with you even more.

3. Living in the past.

Focusing on the wrongdoings and mistakes that people in your past made will only make you feel negative about your current relationship. Let go and leave those relationships where they belong – fixating on prior pain will only cause more to appear…what you resist persists.

4. Someone is withholding the truth.

When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy love requires two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.

5. You can’t handle problems effectively.

In both relationships and life, problems inevitably happen, and knowing how to deal with them and figure out solutions together can strengthen your relationship – and keep it running smoothly. If you or your partner are having a hard time tackling problems as a team and talking things through to solve the problem, it may mean that there’s a happier and longer-lasting relationship elsewhere.

A couple married for 75 years said that the key to how to make love work long-term is communication, even if that means arguing in order to solve a problem. Whatever your style of problem-solving may be, if you are your partner can resolve things quickly and easily without too much conflict, chances are you have the ability to make things work in the future.

According to Dr. Preston Ni, “Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let [them] go.”

If both you and your partner have similar problem-solving strategies, you can get through the trials in life just as well as the triumphs. Don’t give up right away, but give it some time to see if you can learn to deal with problems as a team.

5 Ways To End Abuse In A Relationship

November 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

If you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you know this feeling… Your fight or flight response kicks in when you have to interact with them. An abusive person is someone who thrives on power and control. They could be your coworker, friend, neighbor or spouse. They make you feel depressed, angry, stressed, frustrated and anxious.

To be clear, physical abuse in a relationship is never okay. If you encounter physical violence, you should get away from the person who has assaulted you and get to safety immediately. The violence should be reported to police so they can prosecute the offender.

The law isn’t able to help protect you from emotional abusers unless they’ve threatened violence or retaliation. In the workplace, emotional abuse could be grounds for a case of harassment, so report the incident to your human resources department right away.

In your low emotional state at the hands of an abuser, it may seem impossible to believe that your mental happiness and well-being are within your power to control. But by loving yourself enough to say no to abuse, you take the power to hurt away from your abuser and the power to heal back in your hands. Here are 5 ways to end the abuse…

Here are 5 Ways to End Abuse in a Relationship

1. Recognize Your Worth

Someone who is abusive will continue to belittle you and make you feel less than you are. It’s not you, it’s them. The words that they say are more a reflection of how they feel inside. When someone says “You’re ugly,” that means they feel that they are ugly on the inside.

2. Reclaim Your Power

Words have such power, especially when we take them personally. If you have to interact with an abusive person, tell them that you are open to receiving feedback, but that you won’t accept personal attacks. Ultimately, you can choose to leave the place where the abusive person is if they refuse to accept your terms.

When someone is controlling you through abuse, it is important to take control back from them. You have the power to change yourself, not them. Your response to their abuse is what you have control over.

When you respond to anger with anger, your blood pressure and stress levels rise. Rather than responding with anger in your tone, respond peacefully and with as much self-love as you can muster. Try saying “I deserve to be treated with respect. Your words are disrespectful to me and I will not talk to you unless you can speak to me with kindness.”

3. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Since it is unhealthy to your emotional well-being to be around an abuser, avoid spending time with them as much as possible. Instead, find uplifting people who praise your accomplishments and cheer you on to greatness. People who have kind, loving dispositions are going to be a wonderful support system for you as you recover from the abusive relationship.

Your family and friends may not recognize that you are being emotionally abused in your relationship and you may not feel comfortable discussing the abuse with people who are close to you.

You can find an abuse support group or anti-bullying support hotline to help you. When you are struggling to heal from an abusive relationship, search for a licensed counselor to speak to about healing from the abuse.

4. Build Mental Armor

Build up your defenses, not by reacting defensively to the abuser but by protecting your mind from their hate. If your abuser says, “You’re incompetent,” respond by saying “I’m an incredibly competent person,” to yourself or aloud repeatedly until you believe it.

Choose not to believe their lies, and stop allowing them to manipulate you. By accepting the abuse, you are their willing victim. Dr. Steven Stosny, author of Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One, says that you can overcome a victim identity “through a strong identification with your inherent strengths, talents, skills, power, and appreciation of the self as a unique, ever-growing, competent, and compassionate person. This is accomplished through an emphasis on healing, growth, and empowerment.”

5. Forgive, Forget and Move On

Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool. It is a way of releasing pain rather than holding on to it. In a study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Forgiveness Therapy showed the most promise as a way to overcome emotional trauma as compared to other therapies. The group that was treated with Forgiveness Therapy showed greater signs of improvement over five years.

According to the book, Forgiveness Therapy, published by the American Psychological Association, Forgiveness Therapy has been shown to be a “pivotal process in helping clients resolve anger over betrayals, relieve depression and anxiety, and restore peace of mind.”

Recognize your bravery for identifying the emotional abuse in your relationship and having the courage to do something about it. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of respect. You are worthy of healthy relationships.

6 Things Your Body Is Trying to Warn You About Your Health

November 22, 2015 by Chris Butler

We spend a lot of time looking in mirrors in our world today. But we don’t usually equate how we look to our overall health. How we look on the outside reveals a lot about our health on the inside, from the color and texture of our skin to the clarity of our eyes to the smoothness of our fingernails. You can tell a lot about a person’s health based on their outer appearance, and certain issues like hair loss, wrinkles, and acne can point to underlying problems that need attention.

So, what are your body parts revealing about your health?

We’ll go over major parts of the body and discuss the red flags that your health could be in danger.

1 – What the Eyes Reveal About Health

Our eyes are pretty important. That’s because they empower us to take in all the beauty in the world through our unique perceptions. However, to keep them operating at their highest capacity, you need to take care of them by eating well, drinking enough water, and getting enough rest.

Bags under the eyes could point to fluid retention. But what causes this? It stems from eating too much salt, drinking excess alcohol, which creates bloating, or other issues, such as underactive thyroid or kidney problems. You might also have unknown food allergies to things like milk or wheat, which your doctor can test you for.

Another common eye issue people experience is yellowing of the eyes, which can come from liver diseases. See a wellness physician for further testing if you notice your eyes have a yellow tint.

Eating a whole food, plant-based diet, drinking enough water, and getting rest and adequate exercise will keep your eyes vibrant and healthy.

2 – Healthy Skin

As our body’s largest and fastest-growing organ, our skin tells us significant information about our overall health. For example, wrinkles are usually associated with aging, but did you know they also could be a sign of osteoporosis? A study found that early-menopausal women with excessive wrinkles also had lower bone density than other women.

Raised red patches on the skin usually mean you have psoriasis. This condition stems from an imbalance of immune cells that trigger inflammation in the body and therefore, on the skin.

Many people suffer from dry, itchy skin, and while the culprit is usually cold weather, intensely itchy skin could point to a more serious issue, such as thyroid problems, renal disease, or certain cancers, according to Marina Peredo, MD, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Finally, acne and red bumps on the skin can signal an underlying psychological issue, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Many people that suffer from these mental problems deal with them by picking at the skin, leaving red abrasions all over their bodies. Still, what if you have difficulty coping with your emotions? Try deep meditation, breathing exercises, or working out to release these feelings.

3 – Hair

Many people attribute hair loss to aging, but even younger men and women can experience drastic hair loss due to other problems. Hair loss can have numerous causes, such as stress, nutrient deficiencies, pregnancy, medications, birth control pills, weight loss, and other issues. Ideally, we want our hair to look shiny, vibrant, and soft. Of course, we can attain this through a healthy diet, plenty of water, sleep, exercise, and emotional and mental stability.

4 – Lips

Your lips should ideally look luscious and soft, but dry, cracked lips can point to dehydration, a mild cold, or possibly an immune system disorder called Sjögren’s syndrome, which causes cracked lips and dry eyes, as well as joint pain and dry skin.

5 – Fingernails

Surprisingly, your fingernails can say quite a lot about your health. For instance…

Pitted nails may reveal an autoimmune disorder or genetics.
Spooned nails, or nails that appear scooped out can signal conditions such as iron deficiency anemia, heart disease, and hypothyroidism.
If your nails appear pink only at the tips, and white elsewhere, this could point to an underlying condition such as liver disease, kidney failure, heart failure, or diabetes.
Nail separation, where the nail detaches from the nail bed, can sometimes be caused by a consumer product. But at other times, it could signal thyroid disease or psoriasis.

6 – Teeth

When most people think of healthy teeth, they picture a white, beaming smile. If your teeth look stunted or uneven, you might grind your teeth in your sleep, which usually is caused by stress. Stress causes your body to produce excess amounts of cortisol. So people who grind their teeth do so to cope with the added stress. If you have osteoporosis, you might notice tooth loss, as this disease affects all the bones in the body. Furthermore, kidney disease has also been associated with tooth decay. If you notice any of these conditions in your teeth, see a doctor as soon as possible.

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