The beginning of most relationships is almost magical; every word that your significant other utters increases your admiration, affection, and happiness. But after a while, the things that made you feel immensely attracted to your partner may become the very things that make them insufferable.
There is nothing as frustrating as feeling the spark in your relationship slowly dwindle away. One of the most important things to remember , however, is that it is common in all relationships for that spark to fade away. Nevertheless, intimacy and attraction are not magic. This means that there are things you can do to reignite that spark and have a fulfilling relationship once more.
Here are five of the most important things to remember when looking to ignite that spark.
1. Be attentive
Ignoring your partner and taking him/her for granted is a habit that is easy to get into. Therefore, one of the best methods of reigniting that spark would be to start to pay more attention to them.
This does not imply starting to go out to dinner every night, it only means talking – and really listening – to the other party.
Do not talk about mundane topics such as kids or work, instead talk about the things that each of you enjoys. Have the conversations that you enjoyed having when you began to date. You could talk about your hobbies, the movies you have seen, mutual friends, and so on.
The purpose of this technique is to reconnect with each other. Remind yourself of what got you attracted to them in the first place.
Out of all the things to remember, this should be at the top. After all, once you are married or in a long-term relationship, you don’t have to flirt with them anymore, right? Wrong! Flirting is what got you feeling the butterflies in the stomach when you first met. Why should you stop now that you have them in your pocket?
A little flirtation between you and your partner will go a long way in improving your relationship. It will replace the grumpiness caused by the pressures of life with lightness and playfulness.
There are many things you could do. Leave each other flirty notes, look good for your partner, have some in-jokes, or just let them know how attractive they are. Everyone loves to feel desirable. Therefore, appreciating them will put away the negative vibes.
3. More Sex
This should not even be on a things to remember list. The moment the spark goes so does sex. Understandably, it is hard to want to jump into bed with someone who you no longer feel attracted to.
Nevertheless, sex is among the most important things in a relationship since it is one of the few things that you get to do exclusively with your partner. Sex is vital for feelings of connection, and once it goes away, so does the intimacy.
Have sex more frequently, and not just when you are in the mood. Even though it might not feel natural at first, the more you consciously do it, the more intimate you will become with your partner, thus resolving most of the underlying issues.
4. Plan Dates
After meeting your partner for the first time, chances are that you went on many dates, and did a lot of things with each other because you enjoyed each other’s company. But now, you rarely go out together because of work, kids, and other couple responsibilities.
Nevertheless, you should make a deliberate effort to plan dates and spend some alone time with each other. The thing to remember here is that not all dates should lead to sex, as it will start feeling like an obligation. Additionally, you do not even have to go out; you can be creative about it. For instance, you can have a candlelit dinner when the kids are out at sleepovers or watch a movie together when they go to sleep. The point is to try to get quality time together whenever possible.
Who does not like nice surprises? Unfortunately, one of the effects of long-term relationships is that you stop doing the little surprising things that got your partner smiling and happy.
You know, like buying them a book from their favorite author, or buying an impromptu piece of jewelry. These little gestures have a profound impact on your partner because they show that you care about your partner.
This does not mean diving into the deep end right away and begin buying expensive stuff for each other. It will feel manufactured. Rather, do thoughtful little things such as cooking their favorite meal, or buying movie or book that you know they will like.
Most relationships will get dull after a while, and it is only in our nature; familiarity breeds contempt, remember? Nevertheless, you can always rekindle that flame and regain the passionate intimacy you once shared with your partner. Above are the most important things to remember when you are looking to put that spark back into your relationship.