Your relationship didn’t seem loveless just a few months ago. But lately, you have started to wonder what changed. Falling out of love is much more complicated than falling in love.
The emotions you’re feeling are painful, and the thoughts you’re thinking are depressing. You can hardly believe that your partner might not love you anymore. If you’re afraid to ask your partner that question, here are the possible signs that you’re already in a loveless relationship.
20 Signs Love Is Leaving Your Relationship
Do you see these red flags?
1. Love Is Leaving When You Stop Making an Effort
Yes, a healthy relationship takes work, and you both should be making an effort to keep things emotionally happy. Usually, it is the work of the woman in the relationship to do the “emotional work” of keeping everyone’s needs met.
Your relationship may already have the lifelong commitment stamp, or maybe you haven’t discussed where you see yourself in the future. But if you’ve even considered the possibility of marriage with your partner, you owe it to each other to make an effort to make your relationship thrive.
Invest time in each other like you invest time in your work. You don’t have to go out to eat nightly or make a big deal over your anniversary.
But each day, you can give your partner the gift of your full attention. Ask questions about their day and act, or be, interested. If your relationship is missing the effort, it’s a troubling sign that you’re in a loveless relationship.
2. You Cannot Remember Intimacy
Intimacy can be so much more than just intercourse. When you’re in a loveless relationship, you aren’t getting much intimate contact, not to mention physical contact.
Your partner has started giving you side hugs instead of the full-body kind. When you go to kiss your partner, you get “Sorry hon, no time,” as they head out the door. Cuddling used to be your thing. But now, your cuddle up to the arm of the couch while your partner sits away from you.
Missing out on kissing, hugging, and other forms of physical love signifies that your relationship is in danger of losing the love it so desperately needs to flourish.
3. You Feel Neglected, Rejected, and Hurt by Your Partner
If you feel like your relationship is loveless, you probably don’t feel very loved. The lack of attention that your partner gives you makes you feel sad. Is there someone else that they are spending time with instead of you? It makes you wonder.
You might feel resentful, hurt, angry, or frustrated, but your feelings are that of pain. The source of your emotional pain is your partner. You blame them for making you feel this way. If they cared, they would know how you feel and make it up to you? Not if your partner is secretly unhappy.
4. You Complain About Your Partner to Others When Love Is on the Rocks
Having problems within your relationship is one thing, but being public about how things are not going well is another. Complaining about your partner’s shortcomings to someone else could be seen as a betrayal of trust by your partner.
Venting can sometimes help us work through problems with the help of another. Just be sure that the person you confess your troubles to isn’t a potential romantic partner. If they are, it means you are emotionally cheating on your partner.
Emotionally cheating these days usually involves a coworker or a “work wife/husband” that your partner tells everything to and knows everything about. You might have reason to be jealous.
According to a study of cyber cheating, people who had a partner engage in platonic chat with an online potential romantic partner felt just as betrayed as if their mate had cheated on them sexually.
5. When Love Is Leaving the Relationship, You Often Argue Repeatedly
A pattern of repeating the same fights repeatedly is a sign you’re in a loveless relationship. One of the essential parts of any partnership is the ability to compromise.
You can’t both have it your way, so you have to give a little. When you’re arguing over the same things, it’s a sign that neither wants to be generous to your partner.
6. You Plan to Find New Love
You’ve already emotionally left the building if you’re fantasizing about how finding a new partner might feel. You might not want to say that your relationship will be over. But it might be. If you’ve checked out, your partner may have too.
It’s not over yet, but you know that the end is near if you see these signs in your relationship. After you’ve come to terms with the end of your relationship, you can discover when you’re ready to find happiness again.
7. You Choose a Silent Treatment Over Discussions When You Fall Out of Love
If you’re at a point in your relationship where you choose silence and ignoring one another, it’s never a good sign. When you’ve given up on discussions in favor of silent treatments, it shows that the love is leaving your relationship.
Expressing your thoughts and talking through problems is essential to a healthy romance. It allows you to strengthen your bond and maintain a partnership.
If you or your partner choose the silent treatment over discussions, it turns into contempt and other negativity. It also shows that one or both of you don’t even want to try anymore.
8. The Excitement of Your Love Is No Longer There
Think back to the beginning of your relationship, specifically, the excitement you felt about seeing your significant other. If that feeling isn’t there anymore, it’s troubling for your relationship.
While some time apart to do other things is healthy, you’ll know when the romance has become the last priority. You or your partner will do whatever you can to make plans with others rather than each other. Plus, you’ll dread pre-planned dates or events with your significant other.
If this is a problem for you, use it as a chance to reflect on your relationship. Determine if you want to make a positive change to fix things or if it’s time to walk away.
9. You Have a Crush on Someone Else
It’s normal to develop a crush on someone else when you’re in a relationship, but it’s not normal to act on it. Additionally, it’s not normal to wish you were with that other person instead of your partner. If you find that you spend your time wishing you were with someone else, it’s time to reevaluate your current relationship.
It’s a bad sign anytime someone or something else minimizes your desire for your current partner. There might not even be a specific person you’re thinking of either. It could be that you like the idea of meeting someone new or doing other things.
If you spend time thinking about all the people you could meet and places you could go without your partner, it’s time to reflect. It shows that you may have fallen out of love and want to pursue other things without your significant other.
10. You’re Overly Critical
No one enjoys criticism, especially when it seems never-ending in your relationship. If you constantly criticize your partner or they do it to you, it’s a sign that the love is gone.
Constant criticism shows a lack of consideration for their feelings and attacks their character. Everyone makes mistakes and lets people they care about down, but they don’t need a constant reminder of it.
11. Their Presence Seems to Drain You
Your partner’s presence should uplift you and help you find joy in your day. If you feel emotionally or physically depleted when they’re around, you must reconsider what you want or need.
Sometimes you’ll feel drained when you think about your significant other. When this is the case, the relationship might be over. Likewise, if you don’t miss your partner a little after an extended time apart, it’s time to reconsider or fix the issues.
12. You’re Not Being Open
If you aren’t being open with each other, it shows that there’s emotional disconnection. Opening up is the best way a couple can connect, and it’s essential for honesty and trust. If you are no longer interested in discussing things openly, it shows that love is leaving your relationship.
You might notice that you no longer want to share things with your partner. Or, you might not care if they share their thoughts and feelings with you anymore.
If you don’t make a change, the problem worsens and could eventually turn into stonewalling. Stonewalling occurs when one of you stops communicating altogether. You might notice a lack of eye contact, refusing to discuss feelings, or walking away during conversations.
13. Your Future Feels Uncertain
When you think about the future, it can tell you quite a bit about the state of your current relationship. If the thought of them being in your future makes you feel trapped or disappointed, it could indicate trouble. Try to process your thoughts through journaling, meditation, or therapy so that you can identify why you feel that way.
Not looking forward to or feeling uncertain about your future together indicates that something is amiss. It doesn’t always mean that there’s no hope, but it could indicate a lack of awareness on the topic. Additionally, it could show that your desires for the future don’t align, meaning you want different things.
14. You Get Overly Defensive
Defensiveness is a harmful communication method that indicates negativity within the relationship. It shifts blame to your partner while making the defensive person appear innocent.
Most of the time, defensiveness occurs when someone feels accused or overly criticized. It makes the other person feel like they can’t voice their thoughts and feelings without making you angry. If you get defensive in every conversation with your partner, it’s a sign you don’t feel the same anymore.
15. You Look for Ways to Avoid Each Other
If you or your partner actively seek ways to avoid one another, it’s terrible for your relationship. Avoidance is a big issue that needs resolving immediately, or your relationship will end. You might work late or go out alone as a way to stay away from your partner for a little longer.
Sometimes you might even take a long way home to spare yourself a few more minutes. Looking for ways to avoid your partner is a sure sign that your feelings have changed or your needs are unmet.
Think about why you’re avoiding them and consider if it’s possible to fix it. As you think it through, be honest with yourself and allow your feelings to come forward.
Remember that it’s healthy to spend time alone and with other people, and it’s not considered avoidance. Avoidance is when you have nothing else going on, and your reason for finding something to do is precisely to avoid your partner.
16. Your Partner Does Things That Harm Your Life
When your partner’s actions damage your life, it’s a sign that they no longer care. They might not maliciously make things hard on you, but they cannot consider what will happen.
One example is when they overspend and put you in a financial bind. The overspender didn’t think about the problems their purchases could cause, and now you’re struggling to make ends meet.
Another example is if they become addicted to something and refuse to get help. In this instance, your partner knows that their situation causes problems for you and your relationship.
17. You Dream About the Freedom of Being Single
If you ever daydream about living a single life, it could be that your feelings for your partner have changed. When you’re in the right relationship for you, you won’t constantly fanaticize about being alone. It shows that your current relationship is unfulfilling, and that’s not fair to either partner.
18. You Don’t Have a Good Reason for Being with Your Partner
Think about why you’re with your partner, and come up with the best reason possible. It could be troubling if you don’t have a good reason. Many people stay in a relationship because they’re afraid of being alone, but that won’t bring happiness and passion.
Without a good reason, you’re just going through the motions. You don’t love someone out of passion, and you’re settling when there could be someone more compatible.
19. You Always Quarrel About Insignificant Things
If you can’t get through one conversation without arguing, it’s not good for your relationship. Little things about your partner might become irritating, triggering an argument every time. Sometimes, the things that trigger your negative emotions are the things you loved at the beginning of your relationship.
Disagreements are normal, but they shouldn’t be a constant occurrence. It shows a lack of respect within your relationship, and the love might be dissipating. Deep feelings make you more likely to let the little things slide.
Frequent fights show that a couple can’t find common ground anymore. It also shows that they’ve lost their sense of connection.
20. You Don’t Help Each Other
Healthy relationships involve partners who support each other and help whenever possible. They compromise with one another to ensure they’re meeting their partner’s needs and wants. When you no longer desire to help or take care of your partner, it’s a sign of the end.
Final Thoughts on the Signs Your Love is in Danger
There are many ways to tell if love is leaving your relationship. Sometimes you can overcome these obstacles. But other times, it’s time to walk away. The final decision is up to you, but you must make a change one way or another.
If you both want to work on the relationship, you can work to overcome the problems. Don’t ignore the signs your love is in danger because you must handle it immediately. You both deserve to be happy, so don’t put it off.