Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Join Now
Twt-img.png
burger-icon.svg
Main Menu

7 Signs of Breast Cancer Women Often Ignore

by

When you notice something abnormal on your body, it’s easy to dismiss it and assume it’ll go away on its own. However, it’s essential to your health that you address each indication of something being amiss immediately. Ignoring issues with your body could cause you to miss some of the signs of breast cancer.

Breast Cancer is the second-highest killer of women worldwide and the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women. An eighth of all women in the USA will develop it throughout their life, with almost a quarter of a million new cases last year alone. With that being the case, ignoring the signs could be deadly.

Aside from lung cancer, breast cancer kills more women than any other cancer. Women over the age of fifty are more at risk, but 5% of cases occur in women under 40.

Men are not exempt from breast cancer either, but it only affects about one in 833 men in the United States. With women having a much higher risk, women must know the warning signs and have information regarding early detection and survival rates.

Seven Warning Signs of Breast Cancer

If you recognize the warning signs of cancer in yourself, don’t panic before getting medical guidance. These symptoms are merely a guide to help you understand when something might be amiss with your health.

breast cancer cell

1. Lumps in Your Breasts

Breast tissue is naturally bumpy, but harder lumps or ones different from the rest are signs. Likewise, if the area feels other than before, it could indicate cancer. If you notice any change, see a health care provider right away.

It could be a benign breast condition, or it could be a sign of cancer. You don’t want to ignore the change and risk worsening conditions.

2. Redness or a Rash

Abnormal redness or having a rash on your breast or around the nipple is a red flag. If it goes away quickly, there’s likely no cause for concern. However, if it remains, you’ll want to consult your doctor.

3. Nipple Discharge can Indicate Breast Cancer

Discharge from your nipple can occur in any color, and it’ll come out without squeezing or pressing. It isn’t always a sign of cancer, but it can be, so get it checked out right away.

Either way, nipple discharge is abnormal, and you should address the underlying cause. If you notice discharge without squeezing, it occurs in only one breast, or it is bloody or clear, see a medical professional immediately.

4. Swelling in the Armpit or Around the Collarbone

You might notice a lump in your armpit or around the collarbone rather than in your breast. The breast tissue extends to both areas, so don’t ignore them when checking for abnormalities. If cancer is present, it indicates that it has spread to the lymph nodes.

Rather than a lump, you might also notice swelling in those areas. If that’s the case, you should still seek medical care, as swelling sometimes occurs before a lump develops.

5. Change in Size and Skin Texture

Changes in the size of your breast could be the result of hormonal shifts. However, if it isn’t normal for you, don’t hesitate to seek a medical opinion.

Additionally, if the appearance of your skin has changed in some way, you will want to see a doctor. It might resemble the texture of an orange peel, or it could dimple instead.

6. An Inverted Nipple

A nipple that pulls inward is called an inverted nipple. While all nipples are different, and some are naturally inverted, it’s worth seeking a medical opinion to be safe. If yours wasn’t inverted before, but suddenly changed, you’ll want to make an appointment right away.

7. Constant Pain Could Reveal Breast Cancer

Cancer lumps are often painless, but they could result in a dull ache in the affected area. Hormonal shifts or a poorly fitting bra can cause breast discomfort, too, but if that’s not the case for you, call your doctor right away.

Sometimes you won’t experience pain, but you’ll notice a weird sensation. It might feel like tenderness or a prickly feeling, too.

12 Risk Factors That Increase the Odds of Breast Cancer

Some risk factors that increase your odds of breast cancer cannot be changed. You can change some aspects, though, and focus on implementing healthier habits to decrease your risk.

1. Getting Older Can Increase the Chance of Breast Cancer

You can’t control aging, but your risk of developing this kind of cancer increases as you get older. Your chance of developing the disease is higher for women over fifty. It is less common in younger women, but it can still occur.

2. Genetic Mutations

Some women inherit gene mutations like BRCA1 and BRCA2. These mutations cause cell-cycle dysregulation, abnormal duplication, genetic instability, and other issues. Women with these genetic mutations have a higher risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer.

3. Age When Menstrual Cycles Started or Stopped

Girls who start their menstrual cycles before twelve are more likely to develop cancer when they’re older. Additionally, women who start menopause after 55 have an increased risk because they were exposed to hormones longer.

breast cancer cell

4. Dense Breasts

Some women have dense breasts, meaning more connective tissue than fatty tissue. When this is the case, it makes them more susceptible to getting cancer. Dense breasts make it harder to detect tumors on a mammogram, too.

5. Personal History of Cancer or Other Breast Diseases

Women who have already had breast cancer are more likely to get it again. A re-occurrence typically happens within two years of the first. Additionally, women with non-cancerous breast diseases are more likely to develop cancer.

6. Family History Can Increase Breast Cancer Risks

Having a family first-degree relative with breast or ovarian cancer increases your risk. A first-degree relative is a mother, sister, or daughter, but it could also be a father, brother, or son. However, if a woman has multiple people on their mother or father’s side of the family who have had cancer, it also increases their risk.

7. Previous Radiation Therapy Treatment

Radiation therapy treats certain cancers and other diseases, but it can also increase your risk of developing breast cancer. If the treatment occurred near the chest or breast before the woman was 30, their risk increases.

8. Exposure to DES

Diethylstilbestrol (DES) external icon was a drug used between 1940 and 1971. It was used to prevent miscarriage but was later determined to increase a woman’s cancer risk. The pregnant mothers who took it have increased risk, but their daughters also do.

9. Lack of Physical Activity Can Make a Woman More Likely to Have Breast Cancer

Those who aren’t active have an increased risk of getting breast cancer. Inactivity means you do less than 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week, and experts recommend daily activity. You don’t have to participate in sports or exercise as long as you move in a way that makes you slightly out of breath.

10. Being Overweight or Obese After Menopause

Older women who are overweight or obese have an increased risk of cancer. The risk continues to grow if more weight gain occurs, too. You can make a beneficial change by eating healthy and being physically active.

11. Hormone Replacement and Contraceptives

Taking hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, during menopause increases your risk. Short-term hormone replacement therapy doesn’t seem to cause issues but taking it for five or more years does.

Additionally, some birth control pills raise the risk, too. The risk doesn’t go back to normal until ten years after you stop taking the contraceptive pill. Because the majority of the women who take these pills are young, the risk normalizes before their age becomes a risk factor.

12. Reproductive History

If your first pregnancy occurs after you’re 30, you have a higher risk of developing cancer. Additionally, never breastfeeding or having a full-term pregnancy can also increase the risk.

13. Frequently Drinking Alcohol

Women who drink more alcohol have a higher risk of cancer. The more she drinks, the higher her risk becomes. Limit your alcohol intake to decrease your cancer risk.

Early Detection and Increased Breast Cancer Survival Rates

In the beginning stages of the disease, you might not notice any symptoms. Sometimes the signs are absent altogether, or they are so minimal that a woman doesn’t pay much attention. However, early detection leads to increased survival rates.

If you notice any signs of breast cancer, you must see a doctor right away. The presence of symptoms shows that the disease is actively developing.

Research shows a 90% survival rate when the cancer is diagnosed and treated during the first stage. If treatment doesn’t begin until the third stage, the survival rate decreases to only 40%. Early detection is essential, so monitor your body for the signs of cancer.

You can increase your chances of detecting cancer early by performing self-examinations each month. Try to do the self-exams during the first phase of your menstrual cycle each month. Additionally, regular check-ups with a gynecologist and mammologist are essential.

cancer and breast health

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs of Breast Cancer

Breast cancer is a scary disease, and early detection is essential for increased survival rates. Monitor your body for the signs of cancer, and don’t hesitate to see a doctor right away.

The sooner treatment begins, the sooner you can get healthy again. Knowing the risk factors can help you with an early diagnosis, too, as you’ll be on full alert.

15 Truths You’ll Have to Accept If Your Partner Is “The One”

by

You have been seeing your partner for a while now, with the star-spangled Honeymoon period over. Things are a-changin’ and you are wondering what is going on in your relationship. Is Trixie/Trevor “The One”?

It is high time to take off those rose-tinted glasses, thinking that everything will run smoothly. Life is never that way and relationships do not buck the trend. These are things you have to put up with to know whether your partner is “The One.”

15 Truths You’ll Have to Accept If Your Partner Is “The One”

inattentive

1. You will have arguments

Arguments in moderation and with good conflict resolution patterns are healthy for relationships. We cannot naturally tell Trixie/Trevor we love them 24/7, that is not healthy. If this is happening in your relationship, watch out! “A relationship with no arguments is a relationship with a lot of secrets,” says the quote. Could you be in one with lots of secrets?

Related article: Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More

2. Sometimes, there will not be a solution

An impasse! Oh no, the proverbial kryptonite for any relationship. Yet it does not have to be. Relationship Breaking an impasse can be fixed in these six steps.

A) It starts with loving yourself and believing in who you are. If your self esteem seems like it’s non-existent, start noticing things that you do like about yourself.

B) Lighten up your thoughts about yourself. If all you are doing is tearing yourself down in your mind, it’s no surprise that other people may not value you the way you think they should. Change your thoughts about yourself to better ones.

C)  Lighten up your thoughts about the other person. Remember why you love this person and don’t constantly repeat in your mind what you don’t love about him or her.

D) Know that you have choice. It may not seem that you have choice about your situation but you actually do.

E) Shift your attention to your heart as you listen to the other person and if your mind starts churning, bring your attention south. Find a place inside you where you know that you have choice and you are just listening to try to understand.

F) If you need to set healthy boundaries with this person, do so from a place of loving inside yourself–and from a place of knowing what you will and will not stand for.

3. The Golden Rule is mandatory

Imagine a loved one being on death’s door, what would you expect from your other half? To be there by your side, supporting you. You have to give the same if the shoe was on the other foot. Relationships are about give and take, the giving and taking of centre stage.

4. Changes in your relationship

Not to see changes in the relationship is a very short-sighted way of looking at it. The word “change” is very scary to people, so here it is known as the evolution of the relationship. One cannot argue the existence of evolution, just like how bread becomes stale or how we go from being cradled in the arms of our parents to travelling the world.

5. Your partner may not pick up or return your call

The first thing you think of doing is freak out, is it not? Sending dozens of messages and constant calling will just make you seem needy, which will scare them off and that will turn into a vicious circle. Follow the Power of Positivity’s Love Clinic advice and take a safe dosage of chillaxapil and be tranquil. They could be in a very important meeting or a family might have an emergency and cannot take your call.

6. No real listening at times

Listen up, people! Thank you for your attention. We have to know that people are sometimes away with the fairies, without the need of alcohol or other substances. According to Leon Watson of the Daily Telegraph in the UK, “Researchers surveyed 2,000 participants in Canada and studied the brain activity of 112 others using electroencephalograms. The results showed the average human attention span has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000, or around the time the mobile revolution began, to eight seconds. Goldfish, meanwhile, are believed to have an attention span of nine seconds.” Fancy a snog from your pet goldfish?

Related article: Why most men don’t “hear” women

7. Less frequent compliments over time

No more “looking sexy, hot stuff” type of comments or messages lately? It happens, especially if you are going through a bad patch. All you can do is try not to worry if Trixie/Trevor still fancies you, they are still in a relationship with you. Again, evolution of relationships comes into play and we must accept it. Go with the flow, Jo(e).

8. More practicality than romance

More sweatpants than hotpants, more cookie than nookie, more pay stubs than back rubs, less sugar than “open me this jar”. Again, evolution is at the forefront and these are the natural course of events. It is not to say that this is a bad thing, but men should check their drawers for clean women’s underwear and their bathrooms for that UTO (unidentified toothbrush object).

9. Cooking for them will be more of a must than a pleasure

During the courting phase, you would happily get in the kitchen and knock up a saucy pasta and a sweet dessert, washed down with a full-bodied red and a night cap. Now all you get is the classic Mac ‘N Cheese and a pudding cup, washed down with a few bottles of beer, no night cap. At least the company is not bad.

10. The ever-present “me time”

Unless you are Siamese twins, how can you possibly not want to enjoy the joys of time away from loving dearest? Sure, you were inseparable at the start, but that was during the courting stage. Ever since you love doves cranked it up a notch on the serious-o-meter, the “w” in “we time” turns upside down. There is just no reason you need to feel guilty about spending time by yourself. Being alone is good for you, no matter how

11. Public displays of affection (PDAs) decrease

PDAs are less seen in the relationship than UFOs (unlike the UTO in Number 8) and Casper the Friendly Ghost. OK, that was an exaggeration, but the decrease is noticeable – most of all by you. It is easier said than done but do not take it personally. Evolution does not do personal, it is a one size fits all system.

12. Hearing “Sorry” more than “I Love You”

This is true love. Hearing this tells your partner that you value the relationship more than being right. Is that not being in an adult relationship is all about? This actually says “I love you” louder and better than the phrase itself. Fellas, if YOU hear this, you have hit the jackpot!

Related article: 12 Psychological Reasons People Fall In Love

This is a cliche for a reason, every cloud has a silver lining. As Vincent in Collateral says, “Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, Darwin, s**t happens, I Ching, whatever man, we gotta roll with it.”

How To Avoid A Relapse Into Depression

by

Statistics show about a 50% chance of relapse into depression. It gets higher if you have had more than one bout of clinical depression. After your second bout the chance for relapse goes up to 70% and after your third it goes up even more to 90%. Preventing a relapse becomes very important after your first bout of depression, and the chance to continue falling victim to depression increases dramatically after the first episode. Prevention is simply a medical treatment that continues after the symptoms enter remission. It is very important to have a prevention plan and to avoid triggers that could cause a relapse. So what can we do to avoid relapsing into a depression after our first?

In the case of a relapse into depression, doing these things will help you avoid it:

Follow Through With Your Plan

The biggest trigger to relapse is not following through with your healing once symptoms begin to go away. Just because you don’t feel them anymore does not mean they aren’t waiting in the wings, ready to leap back into your life if you let your guard down. Don’t skip the mental or emotional healing sessions you need just because you start feeling better. If you have difficulty making it to therapy sessions, speak up and ask for help. If something creates an uncomfortable side effect, seek out your healthcare professional about your experiences. The key is to find a plan that works for you and keeps you from relapsing back into depression.

Eliminate Negative Thoughts

Dwelling on opposing views of yourself can trigger relapses in patients with a history of depression. Looking at yourself negatively and dwelling on past failures or mistakes is counterproductive to your mental health. Cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness-based therapy can help mitigate or eliminate such negative thoughts from intruding into your mind.

Know Where You Are Vulnerable

Every person’s situation is different, and everyone has unique vulnerabilities to their mental and emotional state. You need to identify where you are vulnerable and minimize contact with those persons or places. Also be mindful of special days of the year in your life or holidays where things might be more emotionally difficult than the average day. The stressful holiday season can be a huge factor in the relapsing of depression. Anniversaries of past traumas or injuries can also lead to a relapse, so make sure you plan ahead of time for those periods when you might be more vulnerable.

Keep an Emotional Journal

Keep track of your daily emotional states. This can help you spot a relapse when one occurs and get immediate treatment to help prevent an episode of depression. By being mindful of your emotional and mental states from day to day, you can gain control over the disease rather than become a victim. There may even be some apps to help you catalog how you feel from day to day. If you notice a pattern of negative emotions for seven to ten days then see your doctor immediately and get some help. You may just need to adjust your medication or continue with psychotherapy.

Reach out To People

Whether you are reaching out to a specific support group or a group of close friends or family members, it is essential to remember not to let yourself get socially isolated. Depression can make social situations not feel pleasurable and even be painful. Social isolation is a symptom of a relapse into depression. Be mindful of your habits when it comes to spending time with other people.

Get Enough Sleep

Lack of sleep can be a significant contributing factor in depression and the relapse into depression. If you suffer from insomnia or cannot stay asleep once you have fallen asleep, you should see your doctor. Sleep apnea and other disorders can also contribute to poor sleep and the relapse into depression. If you have a physical disorder that inhibits or disrupts sleep, let your doctor or therapist know, as it may trigger another depressive episode.

Research Reveals: Children Inherit Intelligence from Their Mother, Not Their Father

by

Until recently, most people believed that both parents have a roughly equal influence on their child’s intelligence. However, should this research be proven correct, it turns out that women have a much more significant impact on their child’s cognitive abilities than men.

Now, it is essential to understand that this research is quite controversial. Most studies claiming to uncover the enigmatic functioning of intelligence often evoke passionate debate. Relatedly, genetics is a highly-complex and multifaceted scientific arena. Scientists continuously conduct research to seek to disavow or seriously alter, any related study before it.

Regardless of the vigorous debate, it is beneficial to present (and interpret) these findings with an objective mind. If anything, this study is fascinatingly entertaining. Ultimately, this is our goal – to entertain. We hope that our readers find this study as intriguing as we have.

The Role of X and Y Chromosomes in Intelligence

Many fathers will hate this, but genetic research has found (people) probably get a lot of intelligence from their X gene, the feminine one. The X chromosome has a thousand genes, and many of them influence cognition. – Dr. Keith Witt

Many people do not have much of a clue about genetics. As such, it’s beneficial to review some essential facts quickly. This will also help you read and fully understand the remainder of this article much more manageable.

  • A chromosome is a thread-like structure consisting of nucleic acids and proteins. They carry genetic information.
  • Every human being carries one pair of chromosomes in each cell.
  • Females have two X chromosomes. Males have one X and one Y chromosome.

pop meme

“Conditioned Genes”

Conditioned genes, in the most basic sense, are those that are gender-specific. As a rule, the genetic properties of conditioned genes are either activated or deactivated depending upon the specific designation and, subsequently, the genetic properties being influenced.

Conditioned genes inherently contain a “tagging” system, which is made up of biochemical material. This tagging system allows two important things: (1) tracing to the gene’s point of origin and (2) determining an activated or deactivated state within the body. Activated genes will influence genetic development, while deactivated genes will not. 

To the second point, if an individual characteristic is influenced via the mother, the paternal genes are deactivated. Conversely, if an attribute produces via the father, the maternal genes subsequently deactivate.

The mechanisms of conditioned genes form the basis of the intelligence study.

Findings of the Intelligence Study and Related History

Cognition is thought to be influenced mainly by the X chromosome. Theoretically, women are more likely to affect cognition, as females possess two X chromosomes while men carry just one. Of course, there is much more to the theory than the number of X chromosomes.

This is where conditioned genes (remember?) come into play. Intelligence is thought to be a highly-conditioned gene – a conditioned gene that comes directly from the mother.

In this study, scientists used genetically-modified mice to test their hypothesis. They discovered that embryonic test subjects administered predominantly maternal genetic material developed a disproportionately more oversized cranium and brain while creating a much smaller body. Subjects administered disproportionate amounts of paternal genetic material developed a more extensive body but a smaller skull and brain.

In addition to cranium and brain size, researchers were privy to exciting observations. First, they identified six brain areas that contained only maternal or paternal genes. Second, they found no paternal genetic material within the cerebral cortex – the brain area responsible for executive functioning, such as language, planning, logical reasoning, and advanced thinking.

The idea that mothers disproportionately influence a child’s intelligence is not new. In 1984, the University of Cambridge studied both brain development (termed “co-evolution) and genomic conditioning. Cambridge sciences ultimately concluded that maternal genetics contribute more to the thought centers of the brain.

Fast-forward to today, and similar findings have occurred, like the experiment described above.

In one particularly noteworthy study, researchers at a governmental agency in Scotland followed a group of 12,686 people aged 14 to 22. Researchers would interview the subjects each year while observing intellectual development while considering various factors, from education to ethnicity. The scientists conclusively state that the mother’s IQ was the best predictor of intelligence.

intelligence

Final Thoughts: Mothers Pass Intelligence on to Their Children

Without a doubt, researchers will continue to evaluate and challenge the findings of this and related studies about intelligence. As mentioned, some people will not accept scientific research that claims the development of intellect.

However, if one conclusion can be reached, it’s this: mothers significantly influence their children’s cognitive abilities.

And it isn’t just genetics, either, far from it. Nourishment and nurturement of a child directly influence their intellectual growth – two responsibilities mainly overseen by the mother. Furthermore, the special bond between a mother and child stimulates them to explore the world and navigate problems.

In conclusion, women play a much more significant role in children’s intellectual development than most genetic experiments previously thought. However, the findings of these and other studies seem to bolster the notion that our moms give us our brainpower.

Thanks, Mom!

 

Why Some People Never Change

by

The more things change the more they stay the same. People are capable of change but most of us do not change significantly outside of a life altering event. Going to war, getting a divorce or the passing of a loved one can sometimes cause us to stop, get out of our routine and take a long hard look at our life.
But to some, even this is not enough to move them from their path. Why is that? Why is it so hard for some people to make necessary changes in their lives?

Here are (a few) reasons people resist change so fiercely.

They Are Afraid of Change

Change and the unknown are scary to most humans. It is biologically hard wired into us. Yes, we like to try new things but once we find something that works for us we tend to stick with it even if it stops working the way it used to. We fear what we don’t know and understand. We like our comfort zone. It is comfortable after all. It is so comfortable that even when we are pushed out of it by circumstance we will jump right back into it as soon as we can. Even if it is hurting us in the long term it is familiar to us and we understand it.

They Don’t Know How To Change

Even if we overcome our fear of change we may not know what we need to do to change. We may lack the resources to develop a plan for change that is going to pay off eventually. In order to develop that plan we would have to some some very deep soul searching and understand who we are and what we really want before we can even start. Some folks are just not that capable of harsh analysis of their actions. They don’t want to look too closely because they are afraid of what they might see. If you don’t know who you are and what you want how can you possibly know what you need to do to change?

They Don’t Know They Need To Change

They don’t think they need to change because what they do is so comfortable it just feels right. You have to look at yourself from the outside to see your own shortcomings and mistakes. People find what works for them and stick with it even though it isn’t the best way to do it or get them the results that they want. Coaches exist in sports for this very reason. Their whole purpose is to be that outside voice to let the player know he is doing something that could be done better or more efficiently. Without someone showing you your shortcomings you will think you are doing the action perfectly because it feels perfect to you. It feels right even though you are doing it poorly.

People Around Them Encourage Them Not To Change

You tend to do the things everyone around you is doing. It is hard to lose weight if everyone around you overeats. It is hard to quit smoking if you live with a fellow smoker. It is hard to quit drinking if you spend a lot of your free time at a bar. It isn’t that the people don;t want to change but they are constantly tempted not to change.

Change Is Hard

Change requires a lot of effort and hard work. Some people are just not willing to sacrifice for the change they want. It is too easy to stay complacent, and not change. Change requires determination and perseverance and won’t accept anything less.

Not Taking Responsibility For Your Mistakes

Before you can change you have to own your mistakes and realize that you need to do something different. It is very easy to blame your failures on others. It is difficult to own those shortcomings and decide that that is not who or what you want to be.

Fear of Expectation

Some people fear that if they do successfully change their situation or their outlook they will be expected to perform at a much higher level. That higher level might require more effort and dedication than they are willing to give.

5 Ways To Argue With Your Partner The Right Way

by

You are going to argue with your partner, eventually. That is totally normaly.

That’s right. Every relationship will, at one point or the other, have some sour moments where you cannot avoid it.. No matter how long a couple has been with each other, they will always have to deal with one issue or the other at certain times of their union.

Petty things and even bigger issues will come to play, but how couples argue about these issues strongly impacts the quality of their relationships. The most valuable skill is communication, as it can derail any potential disaster. When arguments are well constructed, it helps with a better resolution, making learning how to communicate correctly a very important virtue.

One good thing about conflicts is that when they are handled rightly, they strengthen the relationship. It is a process where the couple can disagree on issues peacefully and come out with a better understanding and resolution of such issues. When this is achieved, it establishes a stronger relationship and instills mutual respect among the couple. Holding onto resentments will only drain the happiness and gradually destroy an excellent relationship.

It is very important to know that an argument is a pathway to a better understanding and growth in your relationship. It is pertinent to understand that your partner is not an enemy to be destroyed but a loved one with whom you want to establish an understanding based on your perspective on a particular subject. Therefore you shouldn’t see yourself as a soldier in front of an enemy; it’s not a war game.

Five Rules to Argue Fairly With Your Partner

While we’re certainly not promoting an argument. But when it does happen, here are five ways to argue with your partner. The right way…

pop meme

How you respond is key!

Many people often react rather than respond to issues. It is a very important skill to differentiate between both terms as this will be beneficial to your relationship and even your communication skill generally.

When you respond instead of reacting, it sets you in control of the situation and helps you scrutinize the conflict better. Thus, it becomes easier for you to weigh the options and decide on the right response to manage the conflict. But when you react, you may say some things that you will later regret saying, and the bad side of this is that. You cannot reverse your words later.

This can be difficult to practice in real-time, but you have to learn how to control your emotions and manage your immediate reactions. Anything short of this will only escalate the conflict.

Don’t raise your voice.

Raising your voice against your partner while you are trying to prove a point in an argument is not ideal. It will only lead to more negative reactions. Let your communication be polite and detailed as you try to prove your points from your perspective. On the other side, if your partner is shouting you down you must politely call their attention to it. The tone at which you communicate is very important. Conflict resolutions can only get better when the issues are dealt with in the right manner.

Take ownership of your part.

It is only in the rare case that a person can be without blame on issues. Don’t avoid taking responsibility for your faults. Some people even exaggerate stories so that they can be on the winning side. Remember it’s not a game and that your partner is not an enemy you desire to crush. It’s just a conflict that needs to be resolved. Taking responsibility for your faults in the conflict helps you work things out and both parties can see things from a better side of view and with a better understanding.

Remember that fighting dirty isn’t worth it

Never allow anger lead you to violence or any other form of abuse. Emotional or physical abuse on your partner will only end in regrets. Be careful not to resort to using words hurtfully, trying to put some guilt on your partner.

For instance, you may accuse them wrongly that they don’t show equal lovet he has given up his happiness for you so many times. This will leave them deeply hurt even after the conflict has been resolved. They may see you as an ingrate.

Always remember that there have been good times and there will be more after this conflict has been resolved. Try as much as possible not to leave stains that won’t go away easily.

Related article: Here’s why couples who argue love each other more…

Be the peacemaker

A soft approach will surely put away wrath. When you choose to see the conflict and choose to ensure peace, it disarms your angry partner and presents you to be more reasonable and mindful of the relationship.

It becomes easier for your angered partner to deal with the anger and pain which will, in turn, lead to forgiveness easily. If your partner chooses to remain on the furious side after you have offered peace genuinely, you may have to leave for a while as some people may need some time alone for them to get over their emotions. However, you have done a great deal trying to establish peace and even your partner has that registered in his heart.

Why You Should Stop Crossing Your Legs

by

Do you often cross your legs while sitting casually or at any event? Well, it’s a common pose that is usually associated with style and feminine culture. Crossing your legs is actually quite common, although it’s not often brought to attention.  It can add style and elegance to your appearance. It has aesthetic value, but some medical concerns must be revealed here.

Here are 5 reasons to stop crossing your legs…

crossing your legs

1. Numbness in the muscles

Crossing the legs exerts pressure on the peroneal nerve at the back of your knee that supplies sensation to the lower legs and feet. If you remain in that pose for a longer time, legs or feet can go numb. It gives a pain like someone is giving pins or needles to your muscles. If it happens, massage the numb muscles vigorously to increase circulation in the veins.

2. Nerve palsy

When you cross your legs for a considerably longer time, it can cause a condition known as, peroneal nerve palsy. It results in a foot drop. During this condition, you become unable to lift toes properly. In a study from South Korea, many patients were examined. Sitting cross-legged for hours caused numbness and foot drop.

3. Raised blood pressure

You may have noticed when a doctor checks your blood pressure, he asks you to sit with legs uncrossed and arms flat. A comfortable pose can bring the blood pressure to a normal level and help check it properly. What happens when you cross your legs often? It raises blood pressure to a certain level. In 2010, seven studies revealed that leg crossing causes a higher blood pressure. In another study, no difference was found. Most of these studies were on a small scale.

raised blood pressure - crossing your legs

In Turkey, research was carried out at a hypertension clinic. It was on a relatively larger scale. But after three minutes, when the reading was taken, the blood pressure got back to the initial levels. Elevated blood pressure was noticed in those people, who were already under treatment for high blood pressure.

Two reasons have been understood about elevated blood pressure when you cross your legs while sitting. One knee over the other, sends blood from the legs to the chest, causing increased amount of blood pumped out of the heart. Consequently, it raises blood pressure.

Another reason is that blood pressure elevates due to isometric exercise of the leg muscles. It increases the resistance to the blood passing through the vessels. This is why, crossed ankles do not give the same effect.

There are several physiological measurements taken in Nijmegen, Netherlands.

A study was carried out there to know which of the above two reasons is accurate. According to the research, resistance in the blood vessels didn’t rise when the heart rate was low and legs were crossed. The amount of blood leaving the heart was higher than before. It showed that elevated blood pressure is because of crossed legs pushing blood up to the heart.

When you cross your legs, it causes a temporary increase in blood pressure. But according to the evidence, there are no long-term consequences. People with high risk of blood clots should sit with their legs uncrossed. Because crossed legs can cause a barrier in the flow of blood. It could increase the risk of deep vein thrombosis.

4. Varicose veins

How are varicose veins linked with sitting cross-legged? The reasons of varicose veins is not clear yet. There are tiny valves in the blood vessels that prevent blood from flowing back in the wrong direction. When these valves become loose, stretched, and weak; the blood can pool. It causes enlarged veins that is known as varicose veins.

Sitting in that pose is not the main factor for causing varicose veins. It is partly because of genetics. It is a painful disease that gets worse during cold weather. But, when you cross your legs, it certainly causes inflammation of the compressed veins.

5. Poor posture

People who remain in crossed-leg pose for several hours develop a poor posture. Their shoulders become round as they lean forward. Obviously, it apparently looks awkward. When the legs are crossed for a longer time period, it makes the shoulder become round. It also makes you lean forward. It affects body posture in an adverse way. And it also gives a stretch to the muscles. When you cross your legs, it can make your posture unattractive. Due to stooped posture, lower back pain and neck pain can also occur. It can also lead to discomfort in the hips.

There is a pelvic imbalance that makes inner thigh muscles shorter and outer thigh muscles longer. It also puts you at a joint displacement risk.

You have read the five reasons to avoid sitting with legs crossed. Decide now to ditch this habit. You can look ritzy and elegant even while sitting straight. The art is to keep the feet and knees close to each other. To avoid the health issues mentioned above, it’s important to improve the sitting and standing posture. Even the way you walk is linked to your health.

crossed legs

Final Thoughts on Why You Must Stop Crossing Your Legs so Much

Some people, especially women always sit with their legs crossed without even realizing they have been in that pose for hours. They must quit this habit instantly to stay healthy. Nowadays, many people have no idea about how to correct their postures. Posture issues may seem minor in the beginning but can cause serious health issues in the long run. Most of these posture issues arise because of excessive use of computer and smartphone technology.

People spend an unreasonable amount of time sitting in awkward positions. Physical activity has taken a backseat and this is greatly affecting the overall health of people across the world. Sitting with your legs crossed does not seem to be a harmful action, but a fair amount of activity should be incorporated into daily life to prevent health issues from arising from this position.

Reference:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151013-is-crossing-your-legs-bad-for-you
http://www.prevention.com/health/healthy-living/10-innocent-habits-that-affect-your-health
http://www.aww.com.au/latest-news/health/why-you-should-never-cross-your-legs-26038
http://www.lifehack.org/324449/4-reasons-why-crossing-your-legs-bad-for-you

5 Things To Always Keep Secret

by

It is not advisable to communicate every detail of your life to everyone; sometimes a listening ear becomes a running mouth. Keep your secrets to yourself.

You aren’t lying. Some things are better kept private, don’t you agree? Discussing your personal information with everyone, especially sensitive issues, usually results in disappointment.

Here are five important things that you need to keep secret:

1. Your Innermost Thoughts

Your beliefs about certain topics should remain as your belief system, but not something you try to inculcate into others.

For instance, your thoughts about life or death might bring diverse reactions when you choose to them as a discussion topic.

Learn to understand that your thoughts are your interpretation and not the objective truth. This stance may save you from arguments.

keep secret

2. Your Philanthropy

Helping a person or charitable work improves the development of individuals and our society, but it’s more valuable when you do not seek recognition for such benevolence.

When you try to publicize how you have been helpful, it usually seems like boasting. People might think your intention for such support was to seek popularity. There’s virtue in adding value to people while remaining anonymous.

3. Your Goals

Your plans ought to be guarded with all diligence until you are able to achieve them. Vocalizing your plans might cause other people to steal your ideas and work on them, dealing with loopholes you may not have noticed.

A demoralizing experience like this would make you regret you made your plans known to anyone, so keep them secret. Keep them safe.

4. Your Lifestyle

Certain details about your personality, such as your sex life, religious life, bad habits, etc. are better kept a secret unless you trust the person with whom you’re speaking.

It’s not worth it to put your emotional conditions out to anyone. It might even lead to an argument if others don’t agree with your lifestyle choices.

5. Your Family’s Dirty Laundry

It is disrespectful and unwise to bring stories of conflicts within your family to others. It devalues you as a person and can bring ridicule to your family.

Often, such stories are passed on until, down the line, the true story has change completely. Problems in the home are best resolved in the home; keep family issues within the confines of your home and loved ones.

Do you have anything you’d like to add to this list? Add it in the comments below or on Facebook!

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

9 Ways to Spot A Narcissist

by

“Obsession with everything related to self-importance” is a simple and concise way of defining a narcissist. Indeed, these individuals are completely enamored with their own (false) self-perceived worth.

A quick Google search will display several synonyms of narcissism, among them: conceit, egoism, egotism, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-centeredness, self-love, self-obsession, self-regard, vanity. Self, self, self…a pretty obvious recurring theme…and undoubtedly true.

One thing that narcissists aren’t necessarily is self-revealing. It is true that many narcissists do indeed display their penchant of self-everything; something made obvious by the incessant self-talk, self-promotion, or other ongoing diatribes pertaining to…you guessed it…themselves. When such conspicuous dialogue does not naturally occur, you will witness them trying to grab attention wherever and whenever possible.

But not all of them.

In true narcissist-like form, some of them will conceal their manipulative talents quite well. In fact, many people who consider themselves to be excellent judges of character can have difficulty in seeing a narcissist for who/what they really are. Their true identity may eventually reveal itself to some, but to most others, narcissists may appear driven, charismatic, ambitious, disciplined, and even fun.

Understanding what constitutes the personality disorder (i.e. symptoms) is the first step in identifying a narcissist. With said knowledge in-hand, one is perhaps better equipped to identify a potential narcissist and respond appropriately.

So, what should you look for?

toxic traits

Here are 9 ways to spot a narcissist:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. – American Psychiatric Association

1. Envies others and/or believes they are to be envied

Undercover narcissists (UCs) are quite adept in refraining from overt displays of envy or jealousy. That said, UCs may just peel back a layer and reveal their envious nature through sarcasm or another form of cryptic dialogue. It’s also common to see slyer narcissists glaring, furrowing their brow, or something else while non-verbally communicating their underlying envy.

2. Exaggerated self-importance

We touched on this a bit already in the intro. UC’s, and narcissists in general, possess an undeserving sense of self-importance. To them, they’re simply superior. Just call them a perfect genetic arrangement. In essence, this is what narcissists think of themselves. UC’s may not be as outward with such views, but they’re bound to surface sooner or later.

3. Preoccupation with status symbols

Name any type of status symbol – money, fame, fortune, beauty, intelligence, success, power – and odds are that the UC is darn near obsessive with one and probably more of them. To a UC, status symbols really are symbolic of one’s worth as a human being. Further, the UC is more likely to attribute such qualities to themselves without merit.

4. Requires constant admiration

Call it “center of attention” or “attention hog.”

Still, a UC needs to feel constantly reassured of their own importance. Didn’t notice the new clothes? A UC will nudge your attention to their wardrobe. Hear about their promotion? Oh, you didn’t…don’t worry, they’ll tell you about everything; including, of course, the all-important pay increase.

5. “Takes” often, “Gives” little

No real surprise here. UCs are takers is just about every imaginable sense. They’ll gladly take your time to ask a favor that they’ll probably never return. On the other hand, maybe they’ll ask to borrow something, money even, and never give a second thought to returning what’s rightfully yours.

6. No sense of empathy

Most human beings possess an innate sense of caring for others, their situations, and their difficulties. There’s something within our genetic code that permits our brain and body to “experience” what others are going through, or have gone through. UCs really don’t seem to have this particular genetic makeup.

7. Displays an “elite” status

Possessing an insatiable desire for status symbols – coupled with an extreme view of self-importance – it is only natural, then, that the UC thinks of themselves as elite. Furthermore, due to their nearly-flawless nature, UCs believe that only those of similar status are really worthy of their time. Pretty much anyone else is viewed along the same lines as a serf.

female narcissist

8. Strong sense of entitlement

Quick question: what does the earth revolve around? Well, the sun of course! Check that. The sun and narcissists, our fault. But joking aside, in a UCs world, people, events, time, etc. all revolve around them, and must be willing to accommodate them in the fulfillment of their needs and wants.

9. Shows arrogance and haughtiness

So this trait is not a real big surprise, is it? Indeed, nearly every inward and outward motive of a narcissist is bound together by a tightly-knit weave of arrogance and superiority. The degree to which a UC displays such entrenched attitudes is quite individualistic. However, most will eventually succumb to their inner monologue and let their arrogant outlook be known.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
footer-logo.svg

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

  • Copyright Power of Positivity 2025

Quote Remedy — Positive Energy+ — Faith Remedy

Like-img.png
Twt-img.png
Skip to content