You have been seeing your partner for a while now, with the star-spangled Honeymoon period over. Things are a-changin’ and you are wondering what is going on in your relationship. Is Trixie/Trevor “The One”?
It is high time to take off those rose-tinted glasses, thinking that everything will run smoothly. Life is never that way and relationships do not buck the trend. These are things you have to put up with to know whether your partner is “The One.”
15 Truths You’ll Have to Accept If Your Partner Is “The One”
1. You will have arguments
Arguments in moderation and with good conflict resolution patterns are healthy for relationships. We cannot naturally tell Trixie/Trevor we love them 24/7, that is not healthy. If this is happening in your relationship, watch out! “A relationship with no arguments is a relationship with a lot of secrets,” says the quote. Could you be in one with lots of secrets?
2. Sometimes, there will not be a solution
An impasse! Oh no, the proverbial kryptonite for any relationship. Yet it does not have to be. Relationship Breaking an impasse can be fixed in these six steps.
A) It starts with loving yourself and believing in who you are. If your self esteem seems like it’s non-existent, start noticing things that you do like about yourself.
B) Lighten up your thoughts about yourself. If all you are doing is tearing yourself down in your mind, it’s no surprise that other people may not value you the way you think they should. Change your thoughts about yourself to better ones.
C) Lighten up your thoughts about the other person. Remember why you love this person and don’t constantly repeat in your mind what you don’t love about him or her.
D) Know that you have choice. It may not seem that you have choice about your situation but you actually do.
E) Shift your attention to your heart as you listen to the other person and if your mind starts churning, bring your attention south. Find a place inside you where you know that you have choice and you are just listening to try to understand.
F) If you need to set healthy boundaries with this person, do so from a place of loving inside yourself–and from a place of knowing what you will and will not stand for.
3. The Golden Rule is mandatory
Imagine a loved one being on death’s door, what would you expect from your other half? To be there by your side, supporting you. You have to give the same if the shoe was on the other foot. Relationships are about give and take, the giving and taking of centre stage.
4. Changes in your relationship
Not to see changes in the relationship is a very short-sighted way of looking at it. The word “change” is very scary to people, so here it is known as the evolution of the relationship. One cannot argue the existence of evolution, just like how bread becomes stale or how we go from being cradled in the arms of our parents to travelling the world.
5. Your partner may not pick up or return your call
The first thing you think of doing is freak out, is it not? Sending dozens of messages and constant calling will just make you seem needy, which will scare them off and that will turn into a vicious circle. Follow the Power of Positivity’s Love Clinic advice and take a safe dosage of chillaxapil and be tranquil. They could be in a very important meeting or a family might have an emergency and cannot take your call.
6. No real listening at times
Listen up, people! Thank you for your attention. We have to know that people are sometimes away with the fairies, without the need of alcohol or other substances. According to Leon Watson of the Daily Telegraph in the UK, “Researchers surveyed 2,000 participants in Canada and studied the brain activity of 112 others using electroencephalograms. The results showed the average human attention span has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000, or around the time the mobile revolution began, to eight seconds. Goldfish, meanwhile, are believed to have an attention span of nine seconds.” Fancy a snog from your pet goldfish?
7. Less frequent compliments over time
No more “looking sexy, hot stuff” type of comments or messages lately? It happens, especially if you are going through a bad patch. All you can do is try not to worry if Trixie/Trevor still fancies you, they are still in a relationship with you. Again, evolution of relationships comes into play and we must accept it. Go with the flow, Jo(e).
8. More practicality than romance
More sweatpants than hotpants, more cookie than nookie, more pay stubs than back rubs, less sugar than “open me this jar”. Again, evolution is at the forefront and these are the natural course of events. It is not to say that this is a bad thing, but men should check their drawers for clean women’s underwear and their bathrooms for that UTO (unidentified toothbrush object).
9. Cooking for them will be more of a must than a pleasure
During the courting phase, you would happily get in the kitchen and knock up a saucy pasta and a sweet dessert, washed down with a full-bodied red and a night cap. Now all you get is the classic Mac ‘N Cheese and a pudding cup, washed down with a few bottles of beer, no night cap. At least the company is not bad.
10. The ever-present “me time”
Unless you are Siamese twins, how can you possibly not want to enjoy the joys of time away from loving dearest? Sure, you were inseparable at the start, but that was during the courting stage. Ever since you love doves cranked it up a notch on the serious-o-meter, the “w” in “we time” turns upside down. There is just no reason you need to feel guilty about spending time by yourself. Being alone is good for you, no matter how
11. Public displays of affection (PDAs) decrease
PDAs are less seen in the relationship than UFOs (unlike the UTO in Number 8) and Casper the Friendly Ghost. OK, that was an exaggeration, but the decrease is noticeable – most of all by you. It is easier said than done but do not take it personally. Evolution does not do personal, it is a one size fits all system.
12. Hearing “Sorry” more than “I Love You”
This is true love. Hearing this tells your partner that you value the relationship more than being right. Is that not being in an adult relationship is all about? This actually says “I love you” louder and better than the phrase itself. Fellas, if YOU hear this, you have hit the jackpot!
This is a cliche for a reason, every cloud has a silver lining. As Vincent in Collateral says, “Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, Darwin, s**t happens, I Ching, whatever man, we gotta roll with it.”
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