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4 Reasons People Procrastinate (And How to Avoid It)

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Definition of ‘procrastinate’:

(procrastinated; procrastinating)

: to put off intentionally and habitually

: to put off intentionally the thing of something that should have been done

– Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

We’re all guilty of it; we’ve all felt the dreaded presence of some unfinished task seemingly chipping away at our very consciousness. It’s uncomfortably persistent – this is procrastination.

So why do we subject ourselves to such emotions?

Well, there are a couple of big reasons. For 99 percent of the population, work sucks. Work is the antonym of fun or freedom. Work is often viewed (neither rightly or wrongly) as a means to an end – nothing less and nothing more. We have bills and responsibilities, both of which require money. Money requires work – it’s a catch-22.

The good news is that we needn’t feel this way. We need not feel the chronic, internal pain that procrastination manifests. How is this possible? By understanding the rationale behind why we procrastinate and doing something about it.

The above paragraph brings us to the topic of this article. We’ll discuss four main reasons why we procrastinate and (most importantly) what we can do about it.

Let’s go!

Here are four big reasons why we put things off:

1. We’re unorganized

Not having any semblance of structure to our routine breeds procrastination. Even in today’s “organized” workplace, it’s easier than ever to choose delay over decision making. Needless to say, technology (read: social media, smartphones, and the internet) dangles the carrot of self-gratification closer to our collective faces.

The point? We’ll sometimes override the rational mind, which subtly whispers, “get this done” for a quick shot of endorphins (via IM, YouTube, web-surfing, etc.)

This, of course, is not an organized way of living. It is also counterproductive to the utmost.

Solution: (This from a self-proclaimed impulsive who learned the hard way. Schedule things. Keep a clock or watch on your desk – and resolve to go one day at a time diligently keeping on track. This is a habit, and one that you’ll learn quicker than you think!)

2. Boring tasks

Any work that’s perceived as boring, uninteresting, or unpleasant is ripe for deferment. We’ll even attempt to rationalize why something should be put off (“I’ll have plenty of time tomorrow morning/afternoon/evening, right?”) Meanwhile, our logic is face-to-face with the sexiness of base desires.

Think of the handsome and beautiful bachelor or bachelorette who realistically knows and feels when someone is not right for him or her. Yet, this “someone” creates an inexplicable sense of exhilaration and novelty they’ve never experienced. So, they “rationalize” and “compromise” with themselves. Maybe they’re sick of dating. Maybe they’re getting older, etc.

A redundant task, whether it’s work or dating, is so easy to put off – and many of us do just that.

Solution: Gentle discipline – that’s all. Listen, we all have jobs, duties, and responsibilities that we don’t like doing. But you can make a choice to move forward in any case. Gentle discipline is nothing more than concentrating your mind on the task at hand – and (most important) gently redirecting your mind’s focus when it strays off course. Over time, your self-discipline will become stronger – and you’ll reap incredible rewards!

3. Anxiety

Procrastination (i.e., avoidance) is a method of coping with anxiety and stress. Perhaps we feel an impending sense of failure or fear, which is the case more often than not.

Stress sucks and is potentially harmful to both mind and body. It’s only natural, then, that we seek reprieve from anxiety, stress, and worry. We all attempt to liberate ourselves of stress – in its myriad forms – to some degree or another.

Once again, our basic instincts will try to control decision making. We’ll look for immediate rewards and all the “benefits” that such rewards bring. Of course, “Option B” is often worse than if we faced the source of anxiety in the first place.

Solution: Understand that anxiety is nothing but a theatricality of the mind. Second, it is important to find an outlet to reduce anxiety that’s in the best interest of both you and your aspirations. Self-gratification is too often a recipe for both regret and lower self-esteem.

4. Lack of ability or confidence

Another universal propensity of human beings is self-doubt. For people with low levels of self-confidence, this is a potentially debilitating experience. So, rather than get to the root of the problem, some of us will avoid it altogether.

Once again, this is another certain facet of life. Some experiences, though they may be painful, often reap more (sometimes intangible/unnoticeable) rewards than not having gone through them in the first place.

Solution: Set small goals and do the best you can to achieve them. Acknowledge that you’re lacking confidence and move forward despite it. One of two outcomes is a certainty: (a) you’ll “succeed” and gain more confidence, or (b) you’ll “fail,” but become a stronger person as a result. Notice that option (b) is still a success!

A great quote to remember:

From legendary writer Hunter S. Thompson:

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”

Choose YOUR circumstance – as this is where real freedom lives.

The 6 Most Attractive Behaviors (And How to Have Them)

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“When you have confidence, that’s what becomes attractive to other people and makes them want to work with you and spend time with you.” – Emmanuelle Chriqui

Being attractive is more than just about looks – after all, those are subjective and subject to change at the whim of the latest trends of society. Attraction also greatly depends on how you act, and the types of behaviors you exhibit day to day when interacting with people. Someone can just as easily fall madly in love with your personality as they do the way you look.

After all, you are a whole person, made up of traits and flaws that round you out to be a human being. There are a number of behaviors that are attractive in a person, whether you are a man or a woman. Learning how to harness these types of behaviors can make you both more attractive, as well as an all-around more positive and happier person.

6 OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE BEHAVIORS AND HOW TO HAVE THEM

1. GOOD LISTENERS

People love to feel heard and understood. Being a good listener is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have, because it ensures you will be able to make connections with people. When you can listen to what other people are saying and not just wait for your turn in the conversation, you will be able to create meaningful moments between you and another person.

Being a good and active listener means that you are taking in what the other person is saying, making them feel heard and understood. It’s an attractive quality, and it forms strong bonds and connections.

2. KINDNESS

This seems like a no-brainer, but being kind is another highly attractive quality that a person can have. When you exhibit kindness, people will feel drawn towards you, because you will radiate the kind of positivity that makes people feel loved and appreciated.

People are more attracted to those who engage in behaviors that are selfless, thoughtful, and kind, rather than those who are mean-spirited and cruel. You will be surprised to find that when you engage in more behaviors that are altruistic, you will feel more positive, which will make people gravitate into your orbit.

3. SMILING

This one is easy, and it’s proven to make you feel better even when you are having a rough day! Smiling is one of the most basic and easiest things that a person can do to make themselves more attractive to people around them.

Smiling releases endorphins, which will heighten your mood, which will make you more positive, which will cause you to smile more – it’s an endless cycle! When people see you smile, they will also feel a sense of positivity, and they will associate you with those happy feelings.

4. LAUGHTER

Hand-in-hand with smiling, laughter will also help draw people in and make you more attractive to them. Laughter is another act that releases endorphins just by doing it, and it’s also healthy for both your emotional and physical health!

It will lower your stress levels, and with low-stress levels you will have better moods. And, people are drawn to those who laugh, and who make them laugh in turn! It feels good to laugh, which means people will automatically find themselves drawn to those who make them feel good.

5. CONFIDENCE

As they say, confidence is key! Being confident will make you both attractive to others, while also making you feel better about yourself. Being confident in yourself, your looks, your abilities, and your work will draw people in. If you project an air of self-shame or self-loathing, you are likely to put people off of interacting with you.

On the other hand, when you own yourself, you will be more likely to make others feel good and confident about themselves as well. People who exhibit radiant confidence are much more alluring to the people around them.

6. UNDERSTANDING NONVERBAL CUES

Being a good listener is important – but what about the things that people aren’t saying? Being able to read someone’s body language will help you be a better listener, as well as show that you are capable of understanding how they are feeling even without them having to tell you.

Empathy is an attractive quality, and empathy is all about nonverbal cues. When you are able to read someone’s nonverbal cues, you can give them what they need without them having to ask, which will bring about interactions that are healthy, positive, and long-lasting.

As you can see, beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but behavior can be universally attractive. Taking the time to study your own habits and choices, and change them to more attractive behaviors, can do wonders for all of the social interactions you have in your life. You will not only attract people to you in a romantic sense, but also platonic, life-long friendships as well. You will also find that your attitude towards life can change to a much more upbeat and positive one once you start engaging in behaviors that are designed to make you a more empathetic, kind and compassionate person.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

Childhood Trauma: How to Heal And Move On

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Therapy is traditionally one way you might choose to heal your inner child, but it is actually not the only way to do so. Discovering the best healing for you involves some self-knowledge. What works for you is going to be based on your preferences. The important thing is to keep trying until you find the right healing technique for your inner child.

Here are 5 ways to heal your inner child:

1. Read about healing your specific inner child’s wounds

In her book “Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers,” author Dr. Karyl McBride focuses on the emotional wounds of daughters who had to be their own parent as they were vulnerable. What was that like for you as a child to have needs or wants that no one paid attention to? How did you choose to respond when that happened?

Self-analysis means being able to see your own repeating patterns of behavior from childhood to now. As a child, you didn’t know how to get your needs met when no one would listen. Now, you have skills to communicate your needs and wants. Check your own behavior now to see if you are expressing those needs effectively. If you cannot be self-reflective of your behavior, you may need a therapist to help you step back to see how your wounds are affecting you.

If you have unmet needs or wants, you may be repeating your ineffective patterns from childhood. For example overreacting, whining, or giving others the silent treatment are poor ways of saying what you need or want. The adult ‘us’ knows that when the inner ‘child’ speaks, they are not going to be effective. See? Nobody listens to us and our adult needs are not being met.

2. Work it out, physically

You have painful emotions when you have a wounded inner child, so heal your inner child by getting physical. Exercise, especially in nature, can help you to become present-moment focused. You are making a positive choice right now to heal your inner self because dwelling in the past will not help you move beyond it.

3. Work it out, emotionally

Emotions can physically reside in our bodies as pain. Healing emotional pain could also help you heal from physical pain. One example of how emotional healing works in the body is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping therapy. Nick Ortner of the Tapping Solution shows us how easy it is to heal our negative emotions in this video. EFT as a therapy is supported by medical professionals. Henry Altenberg, MD of the EFT Advisory Board, says ‘In my 50 years as a practicing psychiatrist, EFT has proven to be one of the most rapid and effective techniques I’ve ever used.’

4. Become your own amazing parent now

Although you didn’t have the loving supportive childhood that you should have had, you can still have a good parent; yourself. Be the mother that you wish you had by being kind and loving toward yourself. Be the kind of father that you wish you had by telling yourself how proud you are of what you’ve overcome so far.

5. Look back sparingly and think big picture

John Bradshaw, author of “Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child,” says that we can find our inner child by writing a letter to the person we hold responsible for our childhood wounds and tell them why we felt hurt. However, living in a negative past that cannot be changed is what can lead down a hole to depression. Don’t go there. Instead, tell your inner child that you survived the past, which means you have surviving and thriving skills to put to work now.

It’s those who have overcome hardships who usually have the most drive to succeed, seemingly to prove their worthiness either to themselves or those who have doubted them. Let your past motivate you to exceed, not just succeed. Clearly, through surviving the pain you’ve experienced, you were meant to move past your past. To heal your inner child is to fulfill your purpose. If you haven’t figured out what your purpose is yet, maybe it’s time. Ask yourself who can benefit from your story and then help them to heal as you heal yourself.

5 Hidden Behaviors Aggressive People Display Before Revealing Themselves

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Whenever you’re aggressive, you’re at the edge of mistakes.” – Mario Andretti

In life, people who are confident and go-getters tend to be well-received. A certain kind of positive and healthy motivation is expected, the kind that gets things done in a timely manner and motivates others to work at a desired pace with a positive outcome. However, sometimes that positive motivation can turn negative, unhealthy and toxic aggression.

There’s a way to sort out those whose attitude in life, in the workplace, and with friends tips the scales from self-motivation and goal-orientation into harassment and toxicity. Aggression is reserved for negative interactions. Someone who is aggressive with not have positive interactions while acting on that emotion.

Aggression is often against someone or something, and is not a healthy motivator. Being able to spot an aggressive person means that you will be able to navigate interactions with them, and maybe even spin a negative and aggressive situation into a more positive outcome.

5 Hidden Behaviors Aggressive People Display Before Revealing Themselves

1. GOSSIPING

Aggressive people will be the type who can’t help but gossip. Stirring the pot and turning their friends, family or co-workers against one another with gossip can be one of the hallmark signs of an aggressive person. The goal of gossiping is to spread discontent, and to be able to spin and control a situation by telling half-truths or outright fabrications.

They will often try and get other people to engage in gossiping with them, so they can continue to justify their toxic behavior to themselves. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is encouraging you to gossip, refuse to engage. Change the subject, and keep doing so until they lose interest. Encourage the people around you not to gossip as well.

2. COMPLAINING

People who tend to be aggressive also tend to be constant complainers. They never have anything good to say about a situation, and will always find something to complain about. People who tend to complain about everything also tend to be angry about those things as well. Anger goes hand-in-hand with aggression.

Aggressive people who complain will often try and get others to go along with them, and encourage other people to agree with their negative outlook. When faced with a constant complainer, turn the conversation around to all of the good things that are happening. Sometimes people need to complain, but allowing them to complain will only feed into their toxic behavior.

3. MOBBING

This behavior often goes hand-in-hand with gossiping. An aggressive person may pick out someone they don’t like and use gossip and other aggressive behaviors to turn friends, family or co-workers against one specific person. They will encourage others to act just as aggressively as them, effectively “mobbing” the person they have chosen to single out.

People who exhibit this particular toxic behavior will justify it to themselves and others, by continuing to spread gossip about the person or people they have singled out. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being encouraged to mob another person, be the first to stand up and point out that this behavior is toxic and unacceptable.

4. SABOTAGING

Aggressive people will often sabotage others. They will deliberate cause harm to other. They may justify this toxic behavior to themselves by saying that the other person had it coming. Or, they may simply not want others to have what they don’t.

They may go so far as to sabotage a co-worker’s project, or they may sabotage relationships between people by using the gossiping or mobbing techniques. If you, or someone else, are the target, point out that you are aware of what the aggressive person doing. Sometimes, that is all it takes to ruin their fun.

5. POTENCY

Aggressive people often view the world and interactions with other people in black and white terms. They will see everyone as either “winners” or “losers”, with a desire for themselves to be one of the “winners”.

Even when there is nothing material for them to gain, aggressive people will treat many of their social interactions with people as if they need to come out on top. Refuse to engage with this type of thinking when faced with an aggressive person who seems to be treating your conversations like a competition.

If you find yourself interacting with someone who exhibits a few or all of these toxic behaviors, you may be dealing with an aggressive person. Once you are able to spot these types of behaviors, you will be better equipped to turn the situation around and keep the peace between yourself, as well as everyone else. Refusing to engage with an aggressive person’s brand of manipulation is the first step in being better prepared to resist their negativity.

https://youtu.be/B4hPwao5a3U

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

10 Signs Of an Intuitive Person

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Everyone is familiar with the phrase “trust your gut”. There’s merit to this, after all. Everyone has a time where they had a feeling about something, good or bad, and they followed their intuition and discovered that they were right.

This can happen to anyone, but there are times when someone’s intuition never fails. Intuition is described as a feeling in theories, abstract ideas and possibilities, rather than concrete facts and material realities of the world. Despite this, intuition is a powerful tool to people who know how to use it.

Here are some signs that you may be an intuitive person, with the ability to feel things that others may not.

10 DISTINCTIVE SIGNS OF AN INTUITIVE PERSON

“I believe in intuitions and inspirations, I sometimes feel that I am right. I do not know that I am.” – Albert Einstein

1. YOUR DREAMS ARE EXTREMELY VIVID

Most people remember bits and pieces of the dreams, the last few minutes of sleep before they wake up. However, a more intuitive person will have vivid dreams and be able to remember them clearly. Your dreams may have felt as if you were predicting the future, or you experience deja vu when a situation turned out just as you had dreamed.

2. YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS

Being attentive to the way you feel is an important part of understanding your intuition. Your emotions will manifest in the way of a “gut feeling”, unable to be ignored until you take them into account, or maybe even act on them. Awareness of your emotions is key to understanding the power of intuition.

3. YOU ARE EMPATHETIC

Not only will an intuitive person be aware of their own feelings, but they will be aware of the feelings of the people around them, as well. Someone who is highly intuitive will be able to pick up on the emotions of friends, family or complete strangers. Others will open up to intuitive people more often, as if knowing that they are aware of their emotional state.

4. YOU ARE SELF-AWARE

Intuitive people are not only aware of their emotions, but also their thoughts and actions, and how those things affect both their outlook on life, as well as the people around them. Practicing mindfulness is as large part of being self-aware. You know what you are doing, what you are thinking, and why at all times.

5. YOU ARE OBSERVANT OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS

Not only are you aware of your thoughts and emotions, but you are also aware of the things going on around you. You may be an intuitive person if you find yourself noticing little things that no one else seems to, or things that others consider unimportant, or easily dismissed.

6. YOU ARE CREATIVE

Intuitive people tend to be more creative. This creativity can be expressed in hundreds of different ways, and it will often allow an intuitive person to connect with the world and the people around them. An intuitive person’s creativity will come with deep within, someplace they can’t logically explain.

7. YOU PLAY DEVIL’S ADVOCATE

Intuitive people can understand the subtle nuances of a debate, and refuse to allow any issue to be seen as either starkly black or white. You are able to form an opinion, while also seeking to understand your opponent’s viewpoint. Intuitive people understand the complexity of all situations, and seek to share the nuance of every debate.

8. YOU TEND TO BE AN INTROVERT

People who are intuitive have an exclusive socializing pattern. Though there are times that you find yourself quite outgoing, it’s always on your terms. You enjoy connecting with people, but the best way for you to recharge is to spend time alone. You are capable of enjoying solitude without becoming lonely.

9. YOU TEND TO OVER-ANALYZE

If you are not very good at taking things at face value, you may find yourself analyzing a situation to death. You are unable to accept the simple surface answer. That’s because you know, deep down, that there’s more to it than what’s on top. Intuitive people are more prone to seeking answers beyond what’s been given to him.

10. YOU ARE AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON

Though intuition can be used to warn you of bad things and dangerous situations. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you have turned away from the positives in life. If you are able to see the silver lining and look towards the good in life, even after your intuition has warned you of something bad, you will be more able to connect with your intuitive nature.

Intuition is all about being aware of yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, and the world around you, including the little things. It’s much like a sixth sense, and not one that everyone has. If you have always dismissed these feelings as gut reactions, or paranoia, or perhaps just plain lucky guesses, you may be a powerfully intuitive person without even knowing it. However, if you find yourself checking off a lot of these experiences, you may be able to tap into that inner understanding of yourself and the world around you.

5 Skills You Will Need to be Successful In 5 Years

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

“Five years from now, over one-third of skills (35%) that are considered important in today’s workforce will have changed.” – Alex Gray, World Economic Forum

Okay, first thing is first: do not kill the messenger.

Second, yes, we realize the word “success” means different things to different people.

Here are the “stipulations” considered while forming this article:

(a) You are/will remain in the job market until 2020.

(b) You don’t make your living off entrepreneurial endeavors.

(d) You don’t have millions stashed in some account.

(e) You are willing to learn new skills to remain relevant or advance in the workforce.

Maybe you have children and are (rightfully) concerned about globalization, unstable financial markets, or a “top-down”-driven economic platform. We won’t pretend to understand your circumstances or priorities – it would be a complete insult.

With that said…

The World Economic Forum (WEF) is a non-profit foundation headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland – and it is considered among the most trustworthy, reliable and prestigious economic platforms in the world.

Indra Nooyi is an Indian-American woman, philanthropist, and CEO of PepsiCo. Ms. Nooyi is responsible for singlehandedly leading the initiative to deliver healthier, more sustainable products to PepsiCo’s millions of customers. This is what Ms. Nooyi says about the WEF:

“Nowhere else in the world is there another forum that brings together governments, NGO’s, corporate leaders, artists, musicians to all come together are talk about the biggest issues facing the world.”

That’s a pretty diverse group. And it turns out we need a wide array of talents to overcome the obstacles confronting the global community.

Here are five of the biggest skills needed according to the WEF:

1. Creativity

That’s right – in a world that has continuously shunned the creative community, their talents will be needed more than ever by 2020. In fact, the WEF lists creativity among the top 3 skill sets workers will need.

“With the avalanche of new products, new technologies and new ways of working, workers are going to have to become more creative in order to benefit from these changes.”

Fellow artisans, rejoice!

2. Complex problem-solving skills

The global economy, as it has through the years, will introduce disruptive technologies and products to eager consumers. We also face a number of problems that require innovation to solve. Both of these developments require people with extraordinary problem-solving abilities.

Individuals of this type possess “developed capacities used to solve novel, ill-defined problems in complex, real-world settings.”

In other words, we need more scientists and fewer portfolio managers.

3. People management

Of course, we will always need effective leaders. No organization, public or private, can function without individuals with brains managing its most precious resource: it’s people.

Per the WEF, the 2020-and-beyond economy will need leads capable of “Motivating, developing and directing people as they work, (and) identifying the best people for the job.”

As organizations face evolving challenges, the role of effective leaders becomes even more essential. Coaching programs like those offered by Teresa Duke Consulting play a pivotal role in equipping leaders with the skills needed to excel in these areas. Through tailored coaching, individuals can refine their ability to inspire their teams, identify key talent, and manage resources effectively, ensuring that their leadership style aligns with the demands of the modern economy.

4. Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”

Who else remembers the mortgage crisis of 2009? The Bernie Madoff scandal? The Enron scandal? The BP oil spill? Remember the cluelessness on the faces of Madoff, Enron’s CEO’s, and Tony Haywood (BP)? The bank officers who were rendered speechless when testifying to Congress? Emotional intelligence was lacking in each case.

Well, responsible use of technological innovations requires people with a high level of emotional intelligence. We need people who will put the needs of humanity above their own – and certainly above profits.

5. Service orientation

No matter the economic environment, odds remain favorable that people will have higher expectations for customer service, efficiency, ethics, and value. Businesses can stay ahead of these expectations by leveraging insights from customer service data, which provide a deeper understanding of customer needs and pave the way for enhanced experiences.

WEF concisely defines service orientation as “Actively looking for ways to help people.” Regardless of the product or service, people who purchase something expect loyalty in terms of support.

Outside of the commercial realm, service-oriented individuals will be called upon to fill various social roles. We will continue to need counselors, teachers, nurses, and support staff. A transitioning economy will not benefit everyone, unfortunately. So, a higher demand for volunteers, community workers, and other people-minded jobs and “pro-bono” work is highly likely.

In case you were wondering

The other 5 in-demand skills are:

– Critical Thinking

– Coordinating with Others

– Judgment and Decision Making

– Negotiation

– Cognitive Flexibility (i.e. abstract thinking)

References:
Gray, A. (2016, January 19). The 10 skills you need to thrive in the Fourth Industrial Revolution. Retrieved June 14, 2017, from https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/01/the-10-skills-you-need-to-thrive-in-the-fourth-industrial-revolution/
The World Economic Forum. (2017). Our Mission. Retrieved June 14, 2017, from https://www.weforum.org/about/world-economic-forum
The World Economic Forum. (2016). The Future of Jobs [PDF]. Retrieved June 14, 2017, from https://www.weforum.org/reports/the-future-of-jobs

Paralyzed Patients Tell Doctors “I’m Happy” As Computer Reads Their Thoughts

June 23, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Imagine being trapped inside your body, unable to move at all, but having complete self-awareness of the things happening around you, with your mind fully functioning. This is the case of many patients with “locked-in syndrome”. Locked-in syndrome is considered mental awareness while your body is completely paralyzed beyond eye movement and blinking.

When blinking is also compromised, it’s considered being completely paralyzed. Being unable to communicate in any way, even if it’s with blinking, makes the patient altogether trapped inside themselves and unable to communicate even the simplest of yes or no answers. However, a new device and study brings warmth and hope to those being completely paralyzed, as well as their family and loved ones.

Four patients suffering from ALS and complete locked-in syndrome took part in a recent study, where they were wired up to a non-invasive BCI (brain computer interface). The BCI was able to detect even the subtlest of changes in blood-oxygen levels within the brain, which allowed the patients to communicate with doctors and scientists after being asked simple questions.

“We were initially surprised at the positive responses when we questioned the four completely paralyzed participants about their quality of life…” – Professor Niels Birbaumer

They were able to calibrate the program by asking questions that the patients already knew the answers to, such as confirming the names of their husbands or mothers, so that the program would show what a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer would look like on the BCI.

All four patients were able to answer personal questions that were asked of them with just the use of their thoughts, proving that they were still mentally aware of the world around them.

The technology used in this particular study also has a broader application. If it becomes more available to patients, it could possibly be used to treat an entire range of neuro-disorders that leave patients unable to communicate – not just those who experience complete-locked in syndrome. Professor John Donoghue, who is the direction of the Wyss Center for Bio and Neuroengineering, claims that being able to resort communication for those who experience complete locked-in syndrome is one of the first steps for the patients to be able to regain movement.

Professor John Donoghue, who is the direction of the Wyss Center for Bio and Neuroengineering, claims that being able to resort communication for those who experience complete locked-in syndrome is one of the first steps for the patients to be able to regain movement.

This groundbreaking experiment allowed patients who had lost all ability to communicate the chance to connect with the world around them. Kirsten Wirth, a 26-year-old woman who had been diagnosed with juvenile ALS, had succumbed to complete locked-in syndrome after only four years. With the help of the new technology, Kirsten was able to confirm her mother’s name, Margit, and was able to communicate that she was happy with her life, despite the extenuating circumstances.

Kerstin Wirth, 26, who suffers from Lou Gehrig’s disease Credit: Wyss Centre

It wasn’t just Kirsten who reported general happiness in her life. With amazement and hope, researchers discovered that all of the study patients reported that they felt happy most of the time.

It was found that when the patient’s basic needs were met, and their quality of life was good and consistent, they reported a level of happiness in their lives that extended to most of the time.

Another patient was asked if he would allow his daughter to marry her boyfriend. Amusingly, the answer was “no” nine times out of ten. The results of this study are turning all the previous theories of complete locked-in syndrome on their heads. Communication is part of the human experience.

Despite their circumstances, these patients could find the good in life and were pleased to communicate this to researchers and their family and loved ones who had been denied the ability to communicate with them for so long.

This new technology allows for patients who are unable to communicate in any way to do so and allows them to connect with the world around them once more.

While they report that their lives are happy as is, imagine how much more they will be able to get out of life with the invention of this new technology.

5 Signs Someone Has Abandonment Issues

June 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Abandonment issues can crop up in people with both traumatic pasts. In addition, they appear in people who suffer from mental illnesses or personality disorders. They can exist on their own. Or they can be a symptom of something else. Abandonment issues are characterized by the intense fear of being rejected by other people.

The fear can cause people who experience these issues to put up emotional barriers. Indeed, they need a cushion between themselves and society. This can cause problems connecting with the people around them. Besides that, they might push away friends, family and romantic partners. Anyone can experience abandonment issues: men, women, or even children.

The causes of abandonment issues are numerous. These root causes can include emotional trauma, past verbal or emotional abuse, or even divorced parents. The signs of abandonment issues can be obvious as well as subtle, mistaken for quirks in someone’s personality. Can you effectively recognize abandonment issues in someone else? How about in yourself? Indeed, identification is the first step to being able to find the correct path to healing from these issues.

“Being abandoned or given up on is the most devastating emotions we can cause in another human being.” – Gary David Currie

5 SIGNS SOMEONE HAS ABANDONMENT ISSUES

1. UNHEALTHY ATTACHMENT

A sign of abandonment issues can be sudden and intense attachment to another person. Instant attachment can be caused by abandonment issues, due to the fear of being alone and rejected. If you or someone else you know often experiences intense and instant attachment after meeting someone, or very soon after the end of another intense relationship, this could be a sign of abandonment issues.

Recognizing this as a sign of potential issues is one of the first steps to changing your pattern of behavior. In fact, you must name the problem so you can seek out help.

2. FEAR OF UNFAITHFULNESS

Being concerned once or twice that your partner may become unfaithful is a routine concern. In fact, it is nothing to cause worry. However, the fear of your partner cheating on you becomes a problem when it is a constant presence in your thoughts, and you are unable to rationalize the thought process, especially if your partner has never been known to be unfaithful.

If you are in a constant state of paranoia over your partner’s activities, it can be a sign of unhealthy thought processes. Communicating openly with your partner can help alleviate these fears and help you learn to trust them. Being able to recognize this in others will also help you be able to steer them towards the kind of healing help that they need.

3. STAYING IN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

If you, or someone you know, refuses to leave their partners even when the relationship is bad, or unhealthy, it could be a huge indicator of abandonment issues. The fear of being rejected and alone will drive someone to stay in a relationship that isn’t making them happy, because they often feel like it is better than being alone.

Staying in a dysfunctional relationship can intensify the abandonment issues. Sometimes, the relationship is just simply not working, rather than being a source of trauma. Either way, staying in a bad relationship can often intensify the feeling of abandonment and the issues once the relationship ends. Recognizing when you, or someone you know, has stayed in a relationship long past its expiration date can help you recognize unhealthy patterns.

4. SABOTAGING RELATIONSHIPS

Despite being desperate to be needed and loved, people with abandonment issues often sabotage their relationships even when nothing is going wrong and relationship stress is low. They will often pick fights. They will also make a big deal out of the few negative things in the relationship.

It is often a way of justifying their own feelings of abandonment. That’s because if the relationship ends, it’s proof to them that people will always leave. That’s true even if they were the driving force of causing that person to leave in the first place.

If you experience this with someone that you have a relationship with, a way to help them can be to have them question whether or not the things they are upset about are rational, and help them understand where their desire to pick fights is really coming from. If you find yourself on the other end, being the one who is picking fights when there is nothing to fight out, you can practice asking yourself whether or not you are self-sabotaging.

5. COMMITMENT ISSUES

Someone who is a serial dater can possibly have commitment issues, which is a sign of a greater abandonment issue. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is appealing to someone like this. However, they will often leave a relationship or sabotage it before the newness can wear off, or before the other person can, in their mind, get bored of them. People with abandonment issues often invent reasons to end the relationship. But they are only once more justifying their reasons with circular, self-sabotaging thought processes.

Recognizing the kind of behavior that coincides with abandonment issues is the first big step to being able to break out of that unhealthy behavior. If you recognize these in yourself, or in someone you know, then you will be better able to give them the emotional support that they need, as well as help them find help and support towards healing from whatever has caused the abandonment issues in the first place.

5 Reasons People Panic (And How to Avoid It)

June 22, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Work can sometimes be stressful. This work stress, piled on top of other daily stressors, can sometimes become overwhelming. Even when we think our whole lives are under control, the stress can get too big to handle. That is when panic starts to set in. Panic is the brain’s fight-or-flight response to overwhelming stimuli.

It’s a primal part of the brain, used to help us know when something life-threatening is happening. Unfortunately, panic doesn’t discriminate between real and imagined danger. Work can be one of the worst places to experience a panic response. Often, when you’re in the office, there is an understanding that you’re to leave your outside life at the door. This can’t always happen, which is rarely true for many people.

Panic can happen to both employees and leaders. It can be a physical response to stimuli or an emotional response to a problem that arises. Panic manifests itself in different ways, and it’s essential to understand where it stems from so that it can be best combated. Why do people panic, and what can someone do to prevent it?

“There is no panic you can’t allay, no problem you can’t solve.” – Lauren Weisberger

5 REASONS WHY PEOPLE PANIC AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

1. FEAR OF FAILURE

Nobody likes failure, especially in a work environment. Doing well at work means you get to keep your job. Doing poorly can mean losing it. Losing your job can mean losing your livelihood and your lifestyle. It’s an incredibly valid fear that, once ignited, can cause workers to panic. Instead of focusing on how something can fail or go wrong, focus on the positive outcomes. Be confident in your abilities. You didn’t get to your position by happenstance! Remind yourself of all the things you’re capable of.

2. OVERWHELMING WORK

Sometimes, the workplace hands us more than we can handle. When you have three deadlines to meet, and you’ve just been handed three more, the workload can be more than you can handle. This doesn’t reflect poorly on you. People work at different paces, and sometimes the people delegating the work don’t understand how much things take to get done. When stress becomes overwhelming, it can cause a panic response. An easy way to alleviate the panic of overwhelming work is to communicate with your leadership team, and see if deadlines can be extended or work can be delegated.

3. OUTSIDE STRESS

Bringing your problems with you to the office can’t always be avoided. When stress at home hits hard, leaving that at the door when you go to work can be challenging. If there is overwhelming stress at home, it will carry over into the stressors at work, which can result in panic. Finding someone to talk to can help ensure your outside or internal stress isn’t brought into the workplace to make your job harder. A friend, family member, or therapist can help manage your personal and professional stress.

4. FINANCIAL DECLINE

Leadership can experience panic, too. An unexpected financial decline can cause immediate panic mode. When leadership panics, it can manifest much differently than when someone is not in a leadership position. After all, there’s much more at stake for someone in a leadership role. When a company experiences a financial decline, it can put more stress and expectation on leaders and managers. To prevent panic responses, finding the cause of the issue can make the next steps that should be taken crystal clear.

5. ASSOCIATING CERTAIN ACTIONS WITH BAD OUTCOMES

This can happen in our day-to-day lives, and it can also happen in our work environments as well. If a new process was implemented and caused an unfavorable outcome, it can be easy to associate that process with the bad outcome rather than the actions that led to the wrong outcome in the first place. Perhaps the process wasn’t properly implemented, or there weren’t enough steps taken to make it a success. Figure out the issue, and work to fix it rather than assume what the problem is.

4 WAYS TO PREVENT AND DEAL WITH PANIC RESPONSES

Now that you know what causes panic on the job, let’s review some strategies to manage the response.

1. LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE

Whether in a leadership role or an employee overwhelmed with work, taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture can help minimize a panic response. Whether the reason is a fear of failure or a decline in numbers, taking a moment to pause and consider the whole situation can help make your next course of action logical rather than made in a panicked state.

2. EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY

If you are experiencing the physical symptoms of a panic attack – tight chest, dizziness, trouble breathing, racing heart – there are things you can do to alleviate the feeling. First, know that it will pass and that you won’t die. Even though it may feel life-threatening, panic attacks last only a few minutes before they end. Find a quiet place where you can focus on breathing and getting yourself to calm down.

3. BE A GOOD LEADER

If you are a leader and one of your employees is experiencing the beginnings of panic symptoms, or you suspect they may be on the verge of a panic response, allow them to go somewhere to calm themselves down. Panic attacks can often be alleviated by simply removing the person from the situation causing the panic. Be understanding and sympathetic. Panic responses are involuntary.

4. FIND THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE ISSUE

When panic rears its ugly head, it can be tempting to deal with the symptoms and move on. The best way to prevent panic is to find and deal with the cause directly. This is true for internal stress and work situations that can cause a company to panic, such as dropping numbers or losing clients. Once you can identify the reason, it will be easier to rectify, so your brain will no longer panic when an unforeseeable circumstance happens.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON AVOIDING A PANIC ATTACK AT WORK

Panic in the workplace can be prevented for both leaders and employees. Recognizing the signs and reasons why panic happens in the first place is a significant step in the right direction to minimizing the panic that all employees feel. Minimizing a panic response helps both the company and the employees by helping the company run more logically and efficiently without rash decisions made in panic and giving workers a more stress-free environment.

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