Psychology Explains Why Younger Men Often Prefer Older Women

Psychology Explains Why Younger Men Often Prefer Older Women

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It is becoming more common for younger men to prefer older women.

Fortunately, psychology explains why this is the case. This relationship may be hard to understand if you aren’t in one, but the reasoning is pretty legitimate. Even with negative stereotyping and judgment, younger men are going after older women frequently.

It may be more life experience that draws a younger man to an older woman in some instances. In other cases, it is due to their level of maturity. Whatever the case may be, it is becoming increasingly common for these types of relationships to flourish.



Men want different things from relationships than women of the same age want. Older women want different things than younger women want. These different desires are part of what attracts younger men to older women.

Understanding these mindsets and relationship preferences is the key to understanding why some younger men are drawn to mature ladies. There are many reasons, and they all align with what a man is looking for in a woman. Also know that these are generalizations–not every statement applies to every person, just as not every younger man prefers a mature partner.

What Men Want in a Relationship

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Before understanding why younger men often prefer older women, it is important first to understand what a man wants in a relationship. Most men tend to look for the same things, whether they realize it or not.



1 – Attraction

Men look for strong attraction in a relationship, and they want the attraction to last. This can occur if you are yourself right from the beginning. If you start changing soon after the relationship starts, they will stop being attracted to you.

2 – An Emotional Connection

While men don’t always show their feelings as often as women do, they want to open up to their partner. If he breaks down in front of you, he will want to know that you won’t judge him for it or stop loving him.

3 – Respect

A man doesn’t want to be belittled by his partner, so he will look for someone who doesn’t do this. He doesn’t want to be overly criticized, either. You should also avoid comparing him to other men or treating him like a child.

4 – Praise

Men want to know when they did something well or when you appreciate what they did. They will look for a woman who praises them because it makes them feel good about themselves.



5 – Acceptance

Men don’t want a woman that tries to change them. They want a partner who will accept them and love them despite their flaws.

6 – Security

Men want to know that their relationship is secure. They want someone reliable, honest, and dependable.

7 – Maturity

Men want a mature relationship, which means acting like a child is out. Throwing a fit, making threats, and refusing to communicate are all signs of immaturity.

8 – Fun

Men want a woman who enjoys adventure and has a sense of humor. They want to laugh and have fun with their partner. Plus, they want someone comfortable trying new things and letting loose once in a while. A study published in the Journal of Women and Aging suggests that this is a match made in Heaven, as mature ladies often don’t want to re-marry. Indeed, they want fun and companionship.



9 – Space

At the right times, men want space to be alone once in a while. Having a woman who will willingly give him space without getting upset is ideal for them. He still has hobbies and interests outside of his relationship and will want to continue them.

Why Younger Men Often Prefer Older Women

Here are a few reasons why a younger man might prefer a more mature partner.

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1 – They Are Sometimes More Intellectual

Men want a woman they can talk to and connect with on a deeper level. Since mature women have more life experience, they tend to hold an intellectual conversation better than younger women. Plus, they tend to know more about world events.

Some of the topics men like to discuss with their partners include politics, world issues, media, and religion. They are more likely to find this in an older woman, so men tend to be drawn to older women. With younger women, some males think that the conversation will revolve more around drama and pointless experiences.

2 –  They Know What They Want

Women with more life experience are more aware of what they want in life than younger women are. Since they are surer of what they want, an older woman may have a clear and focused thought process. Men want a woman with meaningful and fulfilling goals, which is easier to find in an older person.

Because of their clear and focused thoughts, these women tend to have a concrete plan. They focus on achieving their goals instead of superficial things, and they want to develop positively. Plus, they want to see those around them doing just as well as they are.

Plus, since they know what they want, they won’t waste a man’s time. Some younger women will stay in a relationship even if they aren’t happy, but an older woman will leave. Men want to be in a relationship where they don’t have to guess what the other person is feeling.

3 – Life Experience

Older partners have more life experience than younger women do. Men like this because they can gain another perspective on life issues. Plus, a man can get sound advice from an older woman, and she can help him mature more quickly.

Men are drawn to someone who can give them realistic outlooks on situations. They want to plan for what may happen and having someone who is experienced will help.

Men also want someone who will help them grow intellectually, which an older woman can do. Their life experience allows them to help a younger person learn and grow.



4 – Emotional Maturity

Men usually don’t have to deal with immaturity if they go for an older woman. One reason for this is because they don’t play mind games as younger females do. They won’t confuse trip their man up, and the man can be confident in this area of his relationship.

This isn’t to blame younger women for their immature behavior, however. It takes time for hormones to level out and for them to learn to manage their emotions. Older women have already achieved this, making them more mature.

An older woman can help a younger man grow emotionally, too, which is another benefit. They will learn to manage, process, and understand their feelings better with an older woman to help them.

5 – Less Hectic Behavior

Since mature ladies have already learned how to handle their emotions, their behavior is less hectic than a younger woman’s. Older women are calmer, and men are better able to guess what they will do next. Men tend to enjoy a slower pace, so they are drawn to the women who can offer this.

6 – Confidence

While younger women tend to need constant attention, a more mature lady might not need this. Older women are more confident in who they are, and they won’t need constant reassurance that they are cared for.

This isn’t to say they don’t want any attention, but they can instead focus on other things. They know who they are and what is important in life, which makes them more confident.

7 – Financial Independence

As young men start their careers and secure their place, they don’t want to take care of someone else financially. Older women generally don’t have to worry about that because they are already financially independent.

Men also like a woman’s financial independence because they can find comfort knowing their partner isn’t only with them for money. Plus, they will be able to count on splitting bills if they ever move in with their partner.

8 – Mutual Respect

Men want to be in a relationship where they are respected, and they want to respect their ladies, too. They respect older women because they have become successful and worked hard already. Knowing that their partner was dedicated and persistent on her path to success will make them respect her instantly.

9 –  Strong Emotional Support

Younger women haven’t quite found their emotional maturity yet, and they may not offer the best emotional support. Older women, on the other hand, are perfectly capable of this.

As men figure out their lives, they become stressed out and need a woman to help them. Since mature ladies have been through it before, they know what type of emotional support to offer.

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Final Thoughts Younger Men Often Preferring Older Women

While younger men often prefer a more mature partner remained a mystery for a long time. It is now better understood. Psychology has helped explain the reasoning behind this, allowing the rest of us in on the secret. From higher levels of maturity to be able to communicate intellectually, men enjoy an older woman’s dependability.

A man can go to their older woman for support and guidance and count on them for sound advice. Plus, they won’t have to worry about being played or manipulated like they would have to worry about from someone younger.

Now that the reasons younger men often prefer older women are clear, it is easier to see why. The reasons are all pretty logical, and they all align with what a man wants in a relationship. –



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Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a degree in Literature. She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things and will take on any topic. When she isn't writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls.

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