Relationships; we want them, but when we have them, we realize just how much work they can be. You love and appreciate your partner, but when jealousy appears, it’s certainly a hard thing to handle. You don’t want to drop them “like it’s hot,” but you don’t know how long you can deal with jealousy in your partner.
To help you not become so “good at goodbyes” and to keep a partner that is worth the effort, consider these 10 tips for dealing with a jealous partner and working through this bump in the road. You don’t have to give up on the relationship just because your partner is being jealous.
How To Deal With A Jealous Partner
1. Try to understand where this jealousy comes from.
It’s not that your partner simply wakes up one day and thinks that they want to be jealous. Jealousy is often a result of broken trust. Perhaps you’ve done something in your relationship that has made them upset or it’s something from a past relationship that they haven’t overcome. Understanding the root of the problem is an important step in overcoming it.
2. Put yourself in their shoes.
You may not be facing jealousy at the moment, but have you ever had this issue in a relationship? Chances are that you have. When you feel yourself getting frustrated about your partner having this issue, try to remember moments when you let jealousy happen in your life. It can help you to understand why they may be feeling the way that they do.
3. Appreciate their interest in you.
A tad bit of jealousy can actually be a good sign, because it means that your partner cares about being with you. Light, playful jealousy isn’t always a negative, as long as it is kept in check.
4. Talk about the triggers.
A great way to get past jealousy is to discuss it. If your partner is going through this type of emotion and behavior, you could be doing something that sets it off. For example, your SO may have had an unfaithful partner who would always walk away when getting phone calls, which turned out to be other lovers calling them. If you have this habit, it could be triggering the fear of cheating in your SO. Discuss what makes them worry and what may trigger these problematic moments.
5. Don’t give in to being defensive.
Getting frustrated with jealousy is normal. You don’t like a lack of trust, but becoming defensive about it doesn’t help the problem. Your partner could take your defensiveness as a sign that you are, in fact, cheating or unfaithful in some way. Try to exercise patience when you’d rather get frustrated.
6. Express how their being jealous affects you.
You don’t want to let their jealousy run wild because you’re afraid of confrontation. Express to your partner how their jealousy makes you feel. Maybe their lack of trust is making you feel unloved. Or, you are finding it difficult to be loving when the “green-eyed monster rears its head.”
7. Be more affectionate during jealous moments.
Sometimes people are dealing with deep issues from the past, and this results in jealousy. While it’s not your place to heal these wounds, understanding why they react the way that they do can be helpful in helping them move past it. Be loving when your SO reacts jealously to a situation. Show them that you are there for them and that they have no reason to be worried. It will go far in helping you to have a more positive relationship.
8. Do set boundaries.
Often, a partner with jealousy will demand to see all of your personal stuff to prove that you are being faithful. Unless you really want to, you shouldn’t have to share your personal information. Giving them full access to your phone isn’t something that you have to do to prove your innocence. In fact, once you open the door to this type of behavior, it’s difficult to undo. In a loving manner, set boundaries with your SO on them prying into your personal belongings and life.
9. Be honest.
Be honest about things that happen. Don’t cover up little things that may come up. If you have a colleague that has been flirting with you and you have somewhat liked it, let your SO know. It’s when you start hiding things that jealousy begins to flourish.
10. Don’t give your partner a reason to be jealous.
Unfortunately, you may have given your partner reason to be jealous. If this has happened, it can be difficult to fix. If you want to be in a jealousy-free relationship, it’s important to stay committed and faithful to your SO.
If you’re in the relationship for the long-haul, it will take effort. Jealousy doesn’t have to be the end of something good. It’s about understanding, patience and setting boundaries. These tips will help you have an idea on how to navigate and overcome jealousy.