The fear of loss causes us to be anxious and resentful. These are feelings that you will experience every time you invest your emotions in people, pets or items. It is therefore normal. Also, once in a while, you will experience feelings of personal doubt. When self-doubt and jealousy become chronic, they threaten the relationships that you are trying to salvage.
When you are insecure and jealous, your snooping need for reassurance and doubt can push your partner away. Therefore how do you break the cycle, get back your self-control and keep your relationship healthy and happy?
This article points out several ways to overcome being jealous.
1. Stock up on value for self
To eliminate the feelings of insecurity, stop focusing on what you think you do not have. The truth is that we are our worst critics. We can blow things out of proportion. We compliment others but seemingly do not have the abilities to praise ourselves.
In the best relationships, each partner brings different strengths and qualities. These differences complement each other. Therefore remind yourself of your best conditions. These are the qualities that most likely attracted your partner to you. Instead of thinking about what you lack, think about what you bring to the table. Focusing on your strengths will make you more confident in yourself.
2. Stay independent
Sure, you may feel that your life is nothing without your partner but that does not mean that you should be overly dependent on them. The reason they fell in love with you in the first place is that you were unique, happy in your skin and independent. It can be challenging to maintain the level of independence you had before you entered the relationship, but you need to try.
A great way to maintain independence is to have a hobby and retain your improvement goals. These should be different from any goals you have as a couple.
3. Have faith in your love as a couple
You think your guy was flirting with the girl at the restaurant yesterday. Maybe it happened, and perhaps it did not. However, keep in mind that you and your guy have an entire history together. Everyone flirts sometimes, and they are not even conscious of it. They may have just been friendly, and you misinterpreted that.
Can you count the number of times you were afraid of something that you thought might happen and nothing happened? Most times the things that you are most fearful of never actually happen. So just because you have a hunch does not mean your boyfriend is into someone else.
If you have no proof, do not make a mountain out of a mole hole. You may end up destroying a great relationship because of irrational fear. Talk to your boyfriend directly. He will put things into perspective for you. He will do one of two things, either put your mind at ease or be weird about it. After the conversation, you will know how to move forward.
4. Find out why you are jealous
Statistics show that most people are jealous and insecure in their current relationships because of what they went through with their previous partners. Did you take enough time to heal after your last breakup? Could you project the feelings you had for your previous partner?
Did you experience trauma in your childhood that needs to be addressed? Sometimes, children who suffer cheating at home are more likely to project it to their partners. To prevent this, make sure that you have addressed any psychological issues you may have. That will assure you that you are in the right relationship. You will also know when you should be suspicious and when you are misreading situations.
A professional will help you overcome insecurities. They will also allow you to let go of the baggage and hurt you may have experienced in your previous relationships.
5. Never play games
Most jealous people will try to make themselves feel better by finding ways to make their partner jealous. Do not do that. Going out of your way to speak about your ex-lovers and flirting with people in front of your boyfriend won’t make any of you feel better.
You, however, do not have to pretend that there are no other attractive people in the world. You can say it without making it seem like you want to make your guy jealous.
To overcome jealousy, lengthen the leash. Do not assume that your partner is out with a girl because he is late. If he wants to spend the whole weekend with his friends, let him. If he feels threatened or imprisoned, he will dislike being with you.
Never make the situations you imagine in your head seem like they are real. If you do not have any evidence, let things slide and trust your partner.