Sometimes, a man or woman’s wandering eye is not necessarily a sign of disrespect. Instead, a short glance toward the opposite sex is more often than not a sign of curiosity from your partner. Or, they could simply not help but notice someone’s attractiveness.
Much as we might admire a beautiful sculpture or painting, it makes sense that we would continue to appreciate beautiful people after the honeymoon stage of a relationship fades, and the bond matures.
Sometimes, however, wandering eyes could be a sign that your partner is or is considering cheating. So what are some other signs you can look for to tell the difference between the two?
Here are 15 signs your partner has a wandering eye:
1 – Does your partner criticize you, incessantly?
Constant criticism is considered by experts to be one of the four horsemen. Sometimes as people settle into a relationship, they find their partner’s quirks and habits to become less endearing and more of an annoyance. If your partner happens to be less emotionally mature, they may seek out another partner behind your back instead of ending the relationship.
If someone is suddenly finding every opportunity to find something wrong with not just your actions, but who you are as a person, they may be trying to deflect some internal shame about not being forthcoming with you. Even if your partner isn’t cheating, this is a sign of a strained relationship.
2 – Has your partner made accusations of you being the cheating partner?
Along the same lines as deflecting shame, if your partner makes accusations about you cheating, they may do so because the fact that they are cheating makes them feel insecure. Some people want to have their cake and eat it too. They want loyalty and a hot new fling.
Be careful, though, as some people have simply been burned in the past, and that accusation might not have any relation to current behavior. Therefore, your significant other may not be a cheater.
3 – Has your intimacy suddenly changed?
When someone is cheating on you or has a wandering eye, their sexual behavior can change. They may retreat from the bedroom due to guilt over their actions. Conversely, they may ramp up the volume in the bedroom with some new techniques their side-lover introduced to them. Be careful with this one. Indeed, he or she may merely be trying to spice things up in the bedroom to get you excited.
4 – Have strange expenses showed up in your bank account?
When a woman acquires a new lover, she may suddenly have a new income that is unexplained. If the man in the relationship is cheating, you can expect to see that bank balance decrease as he woos his fling. Finances are a significant point of contention between couples. Therefore, both parties should be transparent.
If there is a lack of transparency when it comes to money, this may indicate you both have a strained relationship.
5 – Do you have an intuition that something is off?
Sometimes nothing does a better job of tipping you off to cheating better than your gut. You do not consciously realize this, but your gut picks up on thousands of micro bits of data as you go about your day. When something is off, your gut or intuition will undoubtedly tip you off. Indeed, because you are reading this article right now, your intuition is probably already on full alert!
6 – Has their schedule suddenly changed?
Another sign that a partner is participating in an affair is if their schedule shifts to make time for steamy romp sessions, rather than to bury their heads in more work or a suddenly sick family member. Make sure that your partner gives other signs of cheating before accusing them of being a cheater, however.
7 – Are your friends treating you differently?
Friends may start acting more courteous or try to avoid you altogether. That is because they are often the first ones to find out about an affair. The same applies to your partner’s friends. They, too, may start to avoid you or act exceptionally nicely around you.
One way you can check to make sure that your partner doesn’t have a wandering eye is by telling your friends that you’ve noticed the change in their behavior and want to know what that’s all about. Who knows, they may be planning a surprise party for you and your spouse. Otherwise, your partner may already be cheating on you.
8 – Have technology habits changed?
If your spouse suddenly has their eyes glued to their phone most of the day, they may be having an affair. Of course, if your spouse needs to be on their phone often for work-related reasons, that is one thing, but if their habits change, that might signal a strained relationship.
Technology habits can include anything from checking their phone once before bed to suddenly checking their phone more often for “emails.” If they suddenly change up their technology habits, this is a reliable indicator that your partner has wandering eyes.
9 – Do they have a new phone?
Unless your significant other has recently dropped their phone in the toilet, your partner buying a new phone without explanation is a major red flag that they are cheating on you. Many people who are seeing other people on the side will keep a burner phone or small flip phone, away from your vision so they can hold conversations you won’t be privy to.
10 – Do they have a secret cloud account?
Along with a new phone or new technology habits, most information these days gets stored in “the cloud,” or an online data storage service. This data can include work-related documents, videos, and yep, you guessed it—racy photos from an affair. If your significant other is secretive about showing you his laptop or other electronics, he or she may be a cheater.
11 – Have they stopped making plans for the future with you?
Someone who is cheating may stop making plans for upcoming birthdays or celebrations because they want to keep the calendar open for both you and the person they are keeping the affair with.
12 – Have you effectively discussed your boundaries with your partner?
Cheating isn’t always as cut and dry as going out and hooking up with a stranger. For some couples, cheating can range from watching a man walk by a few seconds too long to creating emotional intimacy with someone else beyond what they have taken the time to develop with their spouse. You will want to discuss some of your boundaries with your partner so that they don’t unintentionally hurt you.
13 – Has the emotional intimacy between you two changed?
Speaking of emotional intimacy, have you noticed your partner sharing less meaningful information with you? As relationships grow and mature emotional intimacy, ebbs and flows as life becomes more complicated and less complicated. However, there should always be an open pathway for communication. If one party shuts down, that person may be participating in an affair.
Perhaps you can suggest to your partner to have a weekly discussion about life and your feelings towards each other.
14 – Have their clothing preferences changed?
If your partner generally wears a pair of jeans and a regular t-shirt, and suddenly go out and purchase more formal clothes, this can indicate that they are making an effort to impress someone else.
The same can be said if they have been keeping roughly the same style of hair for the past few years and suddenly come home with a bold new haircut. The best way to handle this situation is to ask your partner what they intend to use their new clothes for or why they decided to get a new haircut.
You never know, they might want to take you on a lovely date!
15 – Is your partner happy overall with life?
Your partner should be content with his/her life. Discontentment can lead to poor behavior, so it is wise to discuss life paths together to find out how to improve the relationship. This will help your partner to keep their eyes from wandering.
Final Thoughts on Having a Partner with a Wandering Eye
If you suspect that your partner is a cheater, it is essential to have an open and honest conversation about if cheating is the actual issue or if it is related to a stressful life circumstance the both of you are going through. What is the reason behind the deception? Is there a work schedule issue where both of your paths are failing to align often?
Do you both have enough interests together to keep the relationship interesting? Is one partner addicted to adrenaline rushes? There’s never an excuse for cheating. However, depending on the reasons for cheating, you can decide where to go from there. It will depend on if your partner is remorseful for his or her actions. It will also depend upon your morals and feelings.