6 Reasons Why Taking Revenge on Your Ex Is Always a Bad Idea

6 Reasons Why Taking Revenge on Your Ex Is Always a Bad Idea

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How many times have you heard that all is fair in love and war? However, some battles are better left to karma. You might be bent on taking revenge. But that’s a bad idea.

When someone does you wrong, you must remember that it’s not your place to get even with them after the breakup. In most cases, you should look at it as you’ve dodged a bullet because someone who would do you dirty is no one you want to be with for life.

Perhaps you were cheated on by your ex, or they may have become verbally and physically abusive. You may also be facing a case where they stole money and ruined your credit. Whatever wrong has been done to you, you must find a way to move on without getting revenge.

Who doesn’t love the country/pop song where the jilted lover takes a Louisville Slugger to both headlights and pops the tires? The premise is maybe next time, he or she won’t feel inclined to cheat. However, while an entertaining song, it shows getting revenge on an inanimate object.

It probably made the girl feel better to vent her frustration on his car, but it will do nothing to resolve the pain in her heart. Also, can you do that much damage to a vehicle and not face legal repercussions?

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Six Reasons Why You Should Never Try to Exact Revenge on An Ex

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Before you start down the road of getting revenge on someone who has done you wrong, you need to think long and hard about your choices. Here are some excellent reasons why you should never try to get even with an ex-lover, no matter what they’ve done.

1. It’s Not Good for Your Health

Sure, you think it will make you feel better to go after your ex, but the truth is that all the stress you feel will affect your health. You’ve probably heard that stress kills, but do you know how?

According to the American Institute of Stress, when your body is under pressure, it releases hormones that put you into “fight or flight” mode. If you stay in this mode too long, then it can lead to heart attacks and strokes. So, don’t sweat this stuff and let the universe take care of things.

2. It Takes Your Energy

Seeking revenge on someone takes plenty of energy, and this is the energy you can use towards positive things. When you focus on negativity and the harmful factors in your life, it inhibits you from pushing through to the good stuff.

Sure, it hurts to be dumped or done wrong, but you can rise above this with optimism. Always use your powers for good and not evil, and watch how much better you feel about yourself.

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3. It’s a Bitter Act

You want to be blessed and have a good life. You want a lovely family, a promising career, and plenty of money. How can you ask the Universe to give you all these good things if you have bitterness and hate in your heart?

Releasing the power that this person has over you will make you feel better, but it also removes that bitterness you harbor inside. Have you ever heard that bitterness could cause cancer?

Many people don’t know that cancer has an emotional component. According to an article published in The Daily Mail, Professor Wrosch, from Montreal’s Concordia University Department of Psychology, has done numerous studies on the matter. His research shows that bitterness, left to fester, can have a dramatic effect on your health.

When these feelings live inside your soul, it causes biological dysregulation. This abnormality can cause mental or physical illness. The immune system is weakened, and your entire body feels the strain of bitterness. One of the conditions that it can cause is malignancy, though there are many others.

4. It’s Linked to Denial

Did you know that it’s much easier to forgive others than it’s to forgive yourself? There is no perfect relationship. Even if you were done wrong, you must admit that there were things that you didn’t always do right. No one is perfect, and you must take responsibility for your actions.

It’s so much easier to be mad at someone else than it’s to face your shortcomings. Additionally, you may be in denial about the situation. If you still love the person, part of you may think that this may get their attention.

It’s a distorted perception because after busting out headlights or flattening their tires, it’s not going to make them come running back. It may solidify why they left in the first place.

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5. It’s an Act of Self-Destruction

You can get even with someone in many ways, but this act might get you in trouble. Assume you did flatten their tires to show them how much you’re hurting. Now, what if someone captured this act on a security camera, and it was turned over to the police; getting even just got you in trouble.

It’s illegal to destroy someone else’s property, and you could also get yourself in trouble for spreading vicious lies. It’s just not worth the fines, court costs, and repair bills. Think wisely, as getting even may cost you significantly.

6. It Doesn’t Change Anything

You plot, and you scheme, and you do everything in your power to get even with this individual. However, what does it do for you? Sure, you might have a slight feeling of euphoria at the thought that you made them suffer as you did. Consequently, it’s not going to change a thing.

You won’t erase the wrong that’s been done to you, and you won’t make them feel bad for the way they acted. All you’re doing is being destructive for self-gratification, which is always short-lived.

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Six Better Ways to Heal Your Heart

You’ve experienced a breakup, and your heart is broken into a million pieces. While getting revenge isn’t the best way to handle things, what can you do to resolve the pain you feel in your heart?

1. Give Yourself Time

You didn’t fall in love overnight, nor are you going to fall out of love so quickly. Time is the best remedy for pain, as it lessens with each day that passes by. Don’t expect that you will be over a five-year relationship in a week.

2. Surround Yourself with Support

When you isolate yourself from everyone, it makes the pain more intense. Other people help you cope with the heartache you feel.

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Call your friends and family members and get out of the house. Nothing good happens staying cooped up behind four walls.

3. Get Counseling

You’ve probably asked yourself 100 questions about your relationship. It’s best to get a professional, mutual person to talk with you. They can help you identify how to do better in the next relationship and pinpoint what you had no control over.

If you’re playing the blame game with yourself, counseling is an excellent place to start the healing process.

4. Get Back Out There

The best way to get over one person is to move on with another one. While you may not be interested in marriage and a family, no law says you can’t have fun. The dating pool is full of many ready, willing, and able to love you the way you deserve.

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It would help if you had someone make you feel beautiful or handsome and show you that you have worth. Who knows, the next person you meet might be the one that sweeps you off your feet.

5. Let Karma Do Her Thing

The wonderful thing about doing nothing is that you allow karma to step in and take care of it for you. Remember the “Golden Rule” that you should always do unto others how you want to be treated; well, the Universe seems to enforce it. Karma can get involved in situations and turn their life upside down, and you don’t have to lift a finger.

6. Turn to Your Faith

Most people have a spiritual sense. It’s best to turn to your faith to help you get through the darkest days of your life. Believing that someone bigger and more powerful can help is just the thing you may need to get you through this tough time.

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Final Thoughts on Why Taking Revenge on an Ex Is A Bad Plan

Anger and bitterness over a lost love will contaminate your life, while the person who hurt you will sail into the sunset without care. Forgiveness will free you of the ties that bind, and forgiving them is not about them at all; it’s all about you. This doesn’t mean you have to let them back into your life, but you’re doing this to make you a better person.

Count this betrayal as a lesson learned, and you should strive to do better in your next relationship. Learn to identify red flags of problems and get out before things accelerate to the boiling point. In most cases, you might not have seen the breakup or hurtful situation coming. Some lessons life teaches are hard.

Sure, you want to get revenge because you feel it will make you feel better. Sadly, it’s a bandage that will soon fall off, and the gaping wound in your heart will still exist. Cry if you need to, talk to a friend to fill the void, but don’t get revenge. It’s just not worth it.

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Deborah is a full-time editor, blogger, and children's book author. Her book series helps children with anxiety overcome the challenges in everyday life using kindness and courage. She holds a Bachelor's of Science degree in Secondary Education English and a Spanish minor from the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania. When she's not working on one of her many writing projects, you will find Deborah working in her herb garden. She is currently completing her master herbalist certification and can't wait to share the knowledge.

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