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20 Red Flags of Thyroid Disease

April 22, 2022 by Chris Butler

One of your body’s most important glands, the thyroid, produces hormones that control your metabolism, which affects your weight, energy levels, vision, and even your heart. This butterfly-shaped gland sits on either side of your trachea. You may not be familiar with overlooked symptoms of thyroid disease, despite it being relatively common. Here is a list of twenty symptoms to never ignore.

What does a healthy thyroid gland do?

Normal thyroid glands produce hormones to keep your body’s metabolism working correctly. Hormones secreted into your pituitary gland (TSH) should constantly circulate through your blood. Your hormone levels go up and down as your blood changes. This regulation guarantees your T4 (thyroxine) levels stay steady and react correctly.

But sometimes, your thyroid gland doesn’t make the right amount of thyroid hormones. Your gland either produces too much or too little hormone, resulting in a slower metabolism (hypothyroidism) or overactive metabolism (hyperthyroidism).

Symptoms of hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism

Both thyroid diseases are severe and require treatment. Some symptoms are similar, so you need a blood test to get an accurate diagnosis.

Two types of thyroid disease

Hyperthyroidism symptoms

Weight loss
Racing heart rate
Nervousness
Muscles weakness
Tremors
Missed menstrual periods
Insomnia
Eye problems
Sensitive to heat and cold

Hypothyroidism symptoms

Weight gain
Too slow of heart rate
Heavy menstrual periods
Memory problems
Dry skin
Hair loss
Hoarse voice
Intolerance to cold
Enlarged thyroid gland

Twenty red flags of thyroid disease

Do you experience these red flags?

1 – You might have thyroid disease if you feel cold all the time

If your hands and feet are icy cold even when the weather is warm, it could be a sign that you have thyroid disease. It’s an often ignored symptom of an underactive thyroid gland. If you’re always reaching for your sweater, especially when everybody else feels warm, don’t ignore this red flag of this thyroid problem.

2 – Fatigue may result from thyroid disease

Do you feel exhausted in the morning even if you’ve slept well? Extreme tiredness is a common sign of an underactive thyroid. When your hormones get off balance, it prevents your body from metabolizing food correctly. This results in low energy and fatigue. Feeling tired all the time could mean you’re in the early stages of thyroid disease.

3 – Weight fluctuations

Don’t ignore it if you notice the scale going up even when you’re dieting and exercising. Gaining or losing weight without trying are red flags that your metabolism isn’t working correctly.

4 – Your skin is a desert

Itchy, dry skin may be a sign your thyroid is out of whack. Your skin may look flaky and scaly. You may notice more wrinkles on your face and neck. These are sure signs that something isn’t right with your metabolism. If you’re constantly applying body lotion without results, you may be in the early stages of thyroid disease.

5 – Bald spots

If you notice an unusual amount of hair on your hairbrush or hair strands lingering on the sofa that doesn’t belong to your dog, you may suffer from hypothyroidism. Hair loss and even bald spots are common for individuals with thyroid imbalances.

6 – Forgetfulness

Did you forget where you put your iPhone or car keys? Or maybe you have trouble recalling a person’s name at work. These little experiences of forgetfulness are frustrating and embarrassing. If you’re having these foggy brain experiences more and more, it could be a sign your thyroid is off-balance. Healthy thyroid gland hormones tell your brain to signal your body, but if your thyroid isn’t producing enough hormones to send to your brain, you’ll experience brain slowness. Another red flag you may encounter is an inability to focus or think clearly.

7 – Constipated or diarrhea

If you notice you’re constipated or having a lot of diarrhea, it could be a red flag that your thyroid isn’t working right. Constipation is a common symptom of a slow functioning thyroid, while diarrhea could indicate an overactive thyroid gland.

8 – Swollen hand or feet

If you notice you can’t get your rings on because your hands are too swollen or your shoes feel tight, you may be suffering from edema. Edema is fluid or water buildup in your body. It’s common with thyroid disease. Swelling in your feet, ankles, legs, or hands could mean you have a thyroid disorder.

9 – Thyroid disease can cause vocal changes

Researchers say that even if you have mild thyroid failure, your thyroid hormones can cause changes to your voice. Hypothyroidism causes a low, coarse-sounding voice. Your voice may feel weak or tired. Hyperthyroidism may cause a similar problem with your voice, but it’s more typical with hypothyroidism. Other voice symptoms that can occur due to thyroid disease include:

Loss of voice
Hoarseness
Trembling voice
Breathing that you can hear

10 – Lost your libido

Have you lost that loving feeling lately? That’s a red flag that could show your thyroid levels are off. A low sex drive isn’t standard, but it’s sometimes a symptom of hypothyroidism.

11 – Feeling sad

Feeling moody and sad, along with other symptoms, could show hypothyroidism. Many people who struggle with depression and anxiety could have low thyroid. Doctors often miss this diagnosis. If you’re experiencing sadness, ask your doctor to do a blood test to check for low thyroid.

12 – Miscarriage or other pregnancy problems

Untreated thyroid disease may prevent you from getting pregnant or lead to a miscarriage. When your thyroid hormones are off-balance, it affects your ability to conceive. If you’re pregnant, your baby could be premature birth or low birth weight.

13 – Taste buds not working

When you have thyroid disease, food tastes strange. You may think it’s the food. The hormone imbalances affect your taste buds. This common problem goes unnoticed, but don’t ignore this red flag.

14 – Puffiness in your face

If your face looks unusually puffy or full, it could be a sign you’re struggling with thyroid problems. This puffiness could be because of extra fluid or weight gain. Other symptoms of hypothyroidism include:

Puffy under eyes
Swollen feeling tongue
Swollen eyelids
Puffy lips

15 – Vision problems

Another often misunderstood symptom of thyroid disease is vision problems. The fluid buildup around your eyes enlarges your eye muscles, so your eyes bulge out. You may have trouble focusing or have double vision. Eye doctors don’t always check for thyroid symptoms, so be sure to bring up the subject with your eye doctor.

16 – Carpal tunnel disorder

When you have extra fluid in your body, it affects your nerves, especially those in your hands. The fluid presses on the soft tissue in your wrist, causing pain. Numbness and tingling are carpal tunnel syndrome. Treating your thyroid disorder will eliminate this problem.

17 – High blood pressure

If you have an underactive thyroid, you may have high blood pressure. This is because the thyroid hormones aren’t working properly. This puts pressure on your heart as it works to move the blood through your body.

18 – Goiter

Goiter occurs when your thyroid gland swells. Different things cause it but could be because of a lack of iodine in your diet. Because your body doesn’t make iodine, you need to include it in your diet. Left untreated, especially in kids, iodine deficiency can lead to learning problems and hypothyroidism. To eliminate iodine deficiency, which was very common in the 1920s, iodized salt was introduced—this pretty much-eliminated goiter. But many parts of the world don’t have access to iodine in their foods. You can get iodine naturally from eating foods such as

Beef liver
Chicken
Dairy foods
Shellfish
Seaweed
Eggs

Don’t take iodine supplements unless you talk to your doctor first. Iodine won’t help if you have hypothyroidism. In fact, too much iodine can cause hypothyroidism.

19 – Trouble sleeping

If you suffer from chronic insomnia, don’t overlook thyroid disease. This is another common symptom of a thyroid disorder that gets overlooked, especially in women. You may feel hyperactive and nervous, along with your insomnia. If you’re experiencing insomnia and some other symptoms, take this as a red flag that you have a thyroid imbalance.

20 – Your family members have thyroid disease

Thyroid disease runs in families. If a parent, sibling, grandmother, or uncle has thyroid disease, you are genetically at risk. If you notice these symptoms, talk with your doctor and ask for blood work to confirm. It may take several attempts before they determine your diagnosis.

How can doctors treat thyroid disease?

Hypothyroidism can be treated easily with safe medication. Hyperthyroidism is harder to treat and regulate. Surgery to remove your overactive thyroid is often the best choice for a healthy life. After surgery, you may need to take medication as if you had hypothyroidism.

Final thoughts on identifying the red flags of thyroid disease

Thyroid disease often goes undiagnosed for a long time before you discover it. That’s because so many of the symptoms resemble other things going on in your body. If you notice these red flag symptoms, don’t ignore them. Get to the bottom of why you have these symptoms so you can get back to feeling your best.

Don’t Let These 9 Little Things Trigger Your Stress

April 22, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

The little things in life can make all the difference, whether they boost your mood or trigger your stress. Small parts of your day can set the tone and directly affect your well-being.

These little things are even more aggravating once you feel like you can’t avoid them. It will feel overwhelming when something feels out of your control, but you must suffer through it anyway.

Luckily, you can shift your mindset and develop a different attitude toward the little things that trigger your stress. There is always some way to combat the stressors of your daily triggers, and it’s up to you to figure it out. You can’t eliminate stress from your life, but you can work through your days with a positive mindset.

Nine Little Things That Can Trigger Your Stress

Everyone is exposed to stressors each day, but you can control your reaction. Start by identifying the little things that trigger you, and then you can think about how to change them.

1. Inability to Laugh at the Little Things

Laughing might be the last thing on your mind when something doesn’t work out, but it will upset your mental well-being. If you can’t laugh when things don’t go your way, you’ll experience overwhelming stress daily. When you laugh in these situations, it helps you deal with the problems effectively.

If you can laugh at the little things that trigger your stress, you’ll notice that they don’t bother you as much anymore. Laughter takes the edge off things and will help you think more precisely because you’re not always thinking about serious things. Plus, it lowers blood pressure and reduces stress hormones, so it’s beneficial in more ways than you can imagine.

2. Other People’s Stressful Situations

When you spend time with other people, they’re sure to vent sometimes. Even when they don’t vent, their stress could show in their behaviors and attitudes. While this might not seem like a big deal to you, their anxiety can trigger your stress.

You must learn to shift your mindset if other people trigger your stress. Managing or carrying other people’s stress isn’t your job, so don’t let it interfere with your life. You can support their struggle, but don’t let it interfere with your mental state.

3. Dwelling on Stressful Situations

Don’t let things that have already happened interfere with your current mindset. Replaying stressful situations in your mind won’t do any good, and they can trigger stress if you let them. You’ve already experienced it once, so don’t let it interfere with your life again.

When you ruminate on stressful situations, your brain can’t differentiate between past thoughts and current experiences. When you relive something that happened in the past, your brain will perceive it as a present stressor or threat.

Sometimes it’s hard to stop thinking about something, but you can overcome the bad habit. When you feel the thought creeping in, switch your mindset and think about something else.

4. Hunger Pains

Little things cause stress that can bring on hunger pains or cravings. Even if you don’t realize it, hunger paints can make you grumpy and irritable. This situation is especially true if you don’t have any food around.

If you experience this situation often, consider keeping snacks nearby. When you work, keep snacks on your desk. If you are waiting in traffic, keep snacks in your car. Choose snacks with lots of protein to keep you full for a while.

5. Thinking About the Worst-Case Scenario

If you often think of the worst possible scenario, you’ll likely experience increased stress levels. Don’t predict how something will turn out because you never know when it can work out better than expected. It would help to not worry about something when you don’t know what will happen.

By thinking of the worst-case scenario, you worry about things that haven’t happened yet. It causes unnecessary stress because you don’t know what will happen yet. Sometimes, you’ll think the worst about something that won’t matter in a month or two.

Try to stay in the present and ignore worries about the future. They make no difference in completing daily tasks; you can do positive things right now. Instead, get lost in positive aspects of daily tasks, such as the smell as you do dishes or when you light a candle.

6. Political Discussions

You’re always going to find someone with different political views. Getting caught up in the discussion and becoming stressed out is easy. However, you don’t have to give in to the debates.

You don’t have to silence your thoughts but must find an equal balance. Give your opinion and allow others to do the same. You can engage in political discussion without letting it affect your mental well-being.

If someone is always looking for a fight, make it a point to ignore them. You don’t have to engage, and you’ll feel better if you don’t. Let it go and agree to disagree on this point.

7. Social Media

Scrolling through your social media feed can quickly trigger your stress. Some people only post things that make it look like they have a perfect life. This situation can make you feel bad about yourself, but it shouldn’t because they only show their highlights. They don’t reveal the little things that trip them up in life!

No one is perfect, even if they appear that way on social media. The things people post aren’t always an accurate representation of their life, so you shouldn’t compare yourself.

If you get stressed out every time you log in to a platform, then change your life. Stop logging in as often or choose to unfollow the people that make you feel bad about yourself. Follow people and pages that encourage a healthy mindset instead.

Additionally, oversharing on social media can trigger stress. It makes you feel vulnerable, forcing you to experience more pain than necessary. Don’t share details of your life with people who haven’t earned your trust and respect.

8. Stressing About Money You’ve Already Spent

When you’ve already spent money, there’s no point in stressing yourself out about it. It is a form of dwelling on the past, and it’s unnecessary. You can’t undo what you’ve done, so focus on the present instead.

If you know you shouldn’t have spent the money, think of what you can do now. Make better financial decisions in the present rather than overwhelming yourself about what’s already gone.

If it helps, you can spend time making a list of how you can have fun without spending money instead. You can also brainstorm ways to avoid spending money, such as removing your credit or debit cards from your wallet.

9. Procrastination Over Little Things You Must Do

Procrastination occurs for many reasons but often due to feeling overwhelmed. If you have too much on your plate, it’s easy to put it off for a later date. However, procrastination only makes you experience more stress.

If you often procrastinate, try creating a plan to tackle the challenges. If you break your tasks down into smaller projects, it can simplify things. Set your long-term goal but have some tasks on your list that you can accomplish right now.

It’ll be easier to cross things off your list when you have smaller goals to reach. You’ll feel better about yourself when you accomplish tasks, no matter how small. It creates a sense of accomplishment and creates positive reinforcement.

How You Can Stop Stressing Over the Little Things in Life

There are several ways to stop giving in to the little things that trigger your stress. One way is to practice stress-relief strategies, which can be anything that helps you feel better. They are typically activities that take your mind off your problems, allowing you to feel calm and replenished.

However, you can’t practice stress-relief strategies once and expect to be stress-free. Practice these techniques regularly, or it won’t help long-term. You must take care of yourself each day, and it’s best to block out a space of time for it each day.

You might think you don’t have time for self-care, but you must make the time. Self-care is not a luxury. It is something that your body and mind require for your sanity.

There will be times when you have to sacrifice your relaxation time, but it should happen irregularly. You deserve and need time to yourself to relax, destress, and process the day’s events.

The other way to stop giving in to your is to learn to tolerate more stress before feeling overwhelmed. When you can handle the little things, you have worked on building mindset skills. These skills will help you endure disappointments, inconveniences, and other daily triggers.

How to Tolerate Stress

Become aware of your triggers
Learn to let go
Change your mindset

Final Thoughts on Why You Should Not Let These Nine Little Things Trigger Your Stress

Life can be overwhelming, especially when things don’t work out as planned. However, you can make beneficial changes in your life. Change your mindset and learn stress management skills to help you overcome daily stressors.

Make it a point to stop letting little things trigger your stress. Your life is worth so much more than the things that won’t make a difference in a month or two. Shift your mindset and focus on the essential things in your life instead.

17 Reasons for Skin Bruising Never to Ignore

April 22, 2022 by Chris Butler

There are many reasons for skin bruising. Falls, bumping into things, or other minor injuries are usually the cause. Most of the time, bruises are harmless, but they can signify that you have a health problem. If you notice bruising on your skin for no reason or change how often you’re bruising, don’t ignore it. Here are ten causes of skin bruising not to miss.

What Causes Bruising?

You break the tiny blood vessels under your skin when you bump your skin. If your skin does not break, the blood from the blood vessels gets trapped under your skin. This injury causes a bruise. At first, the bruise may have a reddish color. Over time, the bruise will change colors and fade as your body breaks down the blood and absorbs it. This process is all part of your body’s natural healing process. Bruises can last a couple of weeks or a few months to heal.

10 Reasons for Skin Bruising Never to Ignore

Why do some people experience bruising while others seem relatively less likely to sustain these injuries? Here are some of the primary causes of a bruise.

1. Liver damage can cause bruising

A damaged liver doesn’t make enough blood-clotting proteins. This deficiency causes bruising and bleeding. Unexplained, easy bruising is a symptom of cirrhosis of the liver.

2. Some cancers

Although bruising isn’t a common sign of cancer, these symptoms can occur with certain cancers like leukemia. If you notice bruising in weird places on your body, like your stomach, or suddenly have nose bleeds or bleeding gums, this could be a sign that your blood platelets are low, which could mean blood cancer.

3. Certain medications

Some medications thin the blood, making you bleed or bruise more easily. Blood thinners such as warfarin, heparin, or aspirin can cause bruising. Like antidepressants and steroids, other drugs weaken your blood vessels, making you bruise or bleed more easily. Other medications that cause bruising or bleeding include these:

Plavix
Coumadin
Ibuprofen
Eliquis
Pradaxa
Aleve
Motrin
Prednisone
Chemo drugs

4. Certain herbal remedies

Specific herbal remedies increase your risk of bruising. When you combine herbal remedies, you may experience unexplained bruising. Herbs that may lead to bruising include the following herbs:

Ginger
Ginseng
Gingko
Biloba
Turmeric
Angelica
Clove
Large amounts of garlic

Combining a prescription medication with these herbal remedies will increase your risk of thinning your blood and bruising. It’s always best to talk with your doctor before taking an herbal remedy, especially if you’re already taking a prescription.

5. Alcohol abuse

Too much alcohol will damage your liver. The liver disease worsens over time, causing your liver to quit making proteins to help your blood clot. This causes injury and bleeding. You may also experience swelling in your legs, dark urine, and yellowish skin.

6. Bleeding disorders can cause bruising

Individuals with genetic bleeding disorders are prone to bruising and bleeding easily. Diseases like Hemophilia and Von Willebrand disease are two of the most common blood disorders or diseases. These rare diseases cause excessive bleeding or bruising from the slightest injury. Other symptoms include

Blood in your urine
Nosebleeds
Blood in your stool

7. A vitamin deficiency

Your body contains vitamins to help clot your blood. If you don’t produce enough of these vitamins, your body will bleed or bruise easily. A lack of vitamin C leads to scurvy, which causes bleeding gums. Scurvy is uncommon today, but it still occurs in some developing countries. Studies show that 10 to 14% of adults in the United States have a vitamin C deficiency. Other vitamin deficiencies that cause bruising include the following:

Vitamin B12 deficiency
Vitamin K deficiency

8. Getting older

As you age, your skin gets thinner, and your blood vessels weaken. Older people have less fat and collagen to cushion blood vessels. Your blood vessels lose their elasticity as you age, making them more susceptible to damage or break.

9. Sun damage

Overexposure to ultraviolet rays from the sun can break down the collagen in your skin. This causes your skin to thin and bruise easily. The elasticity of your skin and lack of collagen cause damage near your skin’s surface, making your skin fragile and easily damaged.

10. Being female

Women’s skin bruises more quickly than men’s skin. Men have thicker skin and higher collagen to protect their blood vessels. On the other hand, women have higher estrogen levels to preserve their blood vessel walls, which helps blood vessels open and close so blood slips out before it has time to clot.

11. Malnutrition causes bruising

Your diet affects how well your body functions. A junk food diet makes you susceptible to health problems, poor skin, and low energy. Individuals with an unhealthy diet may, over time, experience these symptoms:

Fatigue
Bleeding gums
Low iron, which causes bruising
Weakness
Feeling irritable

Low iron creates poor blood cell function, and your body doesn’t get enough oxygen. This lack makes your skin bruise more easily.

12. Overdoing exercise

If you exercise specific muscles too hard, you’ll develop bruises in the areas around these muscles. You may injure muscle tissue underneath your skin when you strain a muscle. This injury bursts the blood vessels in this area to pool blood and create a bruise. Take it easy when you exercise so you don’t cause undue damage to your muscle tissue.

13. Diabetes

People with diabetes experience bruising because it takes a long time for their skin to heal. Bruises last longer than other people’s bruises. Because it takes a long time to heal, individuals with diabetes need not injure themselves. Other symptoms of diabetes you should notice include:

Increase in urination
Increased thirst
Increase in hunger
Weight loss, even when you’re not trying
Blurry vision
Numbness in your hands or feet
Tingling pain in your feet or hands

14. You’re fair-skinned

People with fair skin may bruise more than dark-skinned individuals. Pale-skinned people aren’t prone to health issues that cause bruising. It could be true because bruises on fair-skinned people like redheads or blondes are easier to see.

15. Sepsis

Bruising can easily be a symptom of a bacterial infection called sepsis. Individuals with sepsis often get a rash with tiny blood spots on their skin. If the condition worsens, the areas get more extensive and look like bruises. These bruises can get larger, turning your skin purple.

16. Genetic tendency

If your parents or siblings bruise easily, your family may have a genetic trend toward bruising. It’s uncertain if fair-skinned people bruise easier or if it’s just easier to see bruises on fair-skinned people’s skin. Whatever the reason, if you have noticed your relatives have many bruises, you probably will too.

17. Low blood platelet count

Your blood platelets must function properly to help stop bleeding. Certain autoimmune conditions lower your blood platelet count. The disease prevents your blood platelets from working well. Thus, your blood is unable to clot. This will cause bruising on your skin.

What Can You Do to Prevent Bruising?

Some things listed are things you can do to prevent bruising. Some items on the list may be out of your control. The one thing you can do is limit the number of bruises you receive from bumps or falls. Here are suggestions to protect yourself from damage.

Make your house safer: Keep open walkway areas and clear the clutter so you don’t fall. Make sure you have good lighting to avoid running into furniture.
Use sunscreen: Apply sunscreen every day. Wear sunscreen even on winter days when the sun doesn’t feel as intense. This protective layer will prevent sun damage to your skin, especially when you’re older.
Avoid taking NSAIDs: Avoid taking too many over-the-counter pain relievers since they will thin your blood.
Check your medications: If you notice bruising after you take a pill, check to see if it has blood-thinning properties you should know. Don’t take an herbal remedy unless you’re sure it’s safe to take with your medications.

When should you be concerned enough about bruising to see a doctor?

Typically, bruising is not a cause for worry. But if you notice unusual bruises, try cutting back on aspirin or other pain relievers. Improve your diet to ensure you’re getting the nutrients your body needs. See your doctor if you notice any of the following symptoms:

A mark that gets larger over time or…
It doesn’t go away after two weeks
Bleeding that you can’t stop
Severe pain or tenderness in your legs, arms, neck, or head
Night sweats soak your clothes
Unusually heavy menstrual periods or large blood clots in your menstrual periods

Final Thoughts on Understanding the Reasons for Skin Bruising and How to Prevent It

Skin bruising is usually because of a minor injury. When the blood vessels under your skin get broken, the blood has nowhere to go, so it pools, forming a bruise. This type of bruising is harmless, but don’t ignore it if you notice an injury. Symptoms like swelling, pain, irritation, or numbness could show you have a severe condition. Be sure to talk to your doctor if you notice unexplained bruising or other symptoms. Being proactive could make a difference in staying healthy.

4 Self-Care Tips from the Spouse of a Narcissist

April 21, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

When people hear that someone they just met is a narcissist, they’ll want to stay away from that person. Being a spouse of a narcissist isn’t easy. Few people want to associate with narcissists and with good cause. Dealing with such people is toxic, and it sucks the life out of you.

But spotting narcissists isn’t as easy as people would hope. Sometimes we can spend months, or even years, around a narcissist, convinced that they are the sweetest person on earth. Many people even fall in love with narcissists and sometimes marry them. And it’s only after the wedding that they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into.

Aside from spouses of a narcissist, many people live with narcissistic family members, friends, or partners. In most cases, you must deal with their personality disorders eventually. If you don’t have any way to remove them from your life, you have to learn to live with them. You need to know how to look after yourself and counterbalance all their toxicity.

What Is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a word that is often used by people in everyday conversation. But not everyone knows what it means from a psychological standpoint. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t just another way to call someone selfish. But the word describes a personality trait and characterizes an incredibly self-involved person. It is a behavior that makes a person ignore the needs of the surrounding people. Usually, narcissists see themselves as better than most.

Because of that, they tend to consider that their time is much too valuable to spend it helping and respecting others. While most people can occasionally display narcissistic behaviors, that doesn’t mean they are selfish. In psychological terms, a narcissist shows a frequent disregard of others’ feelings and lacks empathy. They don’t understand how their behavior can affect others, and they don’t care. Being self-centered is common for these types of people.

They tend to have an inflated sense of self, which makes them entitled. Because of that, they appear arrogant. That doesn’t mean they don’t have insecurities. But they act as they see themselves as perfect. They are desperate to seem perfect and have a deep need for attention. These people often manipulate and gaslight others, either for fun or to control a narrative. While narcissism is a trait, it can signify a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

It is essential to understand that narcissism is a spectrum. Not all narcissists have NPD. Only the people on the higher end of the spectrum are classified as suffering from NPD. The people on the lower end are still narcissists but don’t suffer from this mental health disorder. All narcissists exhibit similar character traits, but they differ in gravity. The further up you are on the spectrum, the worse you become. People with NPD feel little to no empathy and aren’t ashamed to step on others to get ahead.

The ones on the lower end aren’t as extreme. Sure, they are still arrogant and don’t care much for strangers. They still gaslight and manipulate, but they at least have a sense of right and wrong. Often, they feel some amount of guilt after hurting someone they care about. Most people think narcissism is an overt behavior. While that’s true in most cases, a narcissist doesn’t have to be honest about their true self. This behavior is not all about being loud and flashy. Just because they don’t feel empathy doesn’t mean they have to show it.

Narcissists are great liars, and they can easily fool people into believing whatever. In recent years, in-depth studies on this behavior have determined two types of narcissism: covert and overt. Overt narcissism is something you can easily spot. The overt narcissist doesn’t hide who they are, and they aren’t ashamed to show just how mean and manipulative they are. Covert narcissism is the one harder to spot.

The covert narcissist is introverted and reserved. How is that possible, you might ask? Isn’t that a contradiction? Well, no, and this makes sense. A study at NYU determined that narcissism often stems from insecurity. Because of that, even they need reassurance. And if they can’t get it through showing off, they will act vulnerable. Because most narcissists are covert, they can blend in and appear friendly and trustworthy.

You wouldn’t be able to tell how dangerous they are unless their mask starts slipping. Some people get so fooled by their actions that they marry them. And most spouses of narcissists figure out who their partner is only after the wedding. Or maybe you have narcissistic relatives you are forced to interact with. So, when you often have to interact with such a person, what can you do to keep yourself sane?

4 Self-Care Tips from the Spouse of a Narcissist

If you married someone who has NPD, the red flags might not appear until after marriage. Here are some coping mechanisms to try while deciding if you can make the relationship work.

1. The Spouse of a Narcissist Learns How to Avoid Arguments and Confrontation at Inappropriate Times

When talking to a narcissist, they will often try to gaslight you or manipulate you. They will lie, cheat, and generally drive you insane. Many things they say are objectively wrong. They throw blame around like nothing, and they often pick fights. While all that is emotionally draining, it’s even worse to engage in an actual fight with them. Please don’t allow them to play the victim card or emotionally destroy you.

A narcissist doesn’t care about what’s right and wrong. They aren’t interested in communicating and solving issues. They’ll cast aside your feedback and complaints. They are only interested in being right and getting what they want. So, an argument will not do you any good. And, if you end up confronting them, don’t try to defend yourself.

They don’t care about your actions as much as they care about being validated. Just nod and follow what they say, then go on with your day. You’ll be fine as long as you don’t expect to “win” any arguments. Keep your expectations low, and you’ll avoid getting hurt.

2. Find a Support System

One of the most dangerous things that narcissists do is chip away at your self-esteem. They gaslight you so hard you believe you are potentially the worst person alive. You think that everything is your fault, and you are just awful as a human being. When you get to that point where your self-esteem is gone, they can virtually do anything to you. When you lack respect for yourself, you accept all types of behaviors.

What spouses of narcissists recommend is creating a robust support system to keep your confidence high. Have friends and family you can confide in. As established before, trying to communicate with them is futile. Conversing with them about their behavior and ways they should change won’t lead to any improvements. It’s better to leave them to their own devices and talk to other people about your struggles.

Create a support system that can lift you and help you rebuild your self-esteem. They can comfort you when you are down, thus counterbalancing all the toxicity the narcissist threw your way. If you don’t have anyone you can confide in, you can always start seeing a therapist. They can help you navigate this toxic relationship better and give you tips to shelter your mental health.

3. Establish Non-Negotiable Boundaries

Setting boundaries won’t work the same with narcissists as it does with non-narcissists. You can’t have a logical and calm discussion and decide what limitations to enforce. You need to take matters into your own hands and implement non-negotiable boundaries. Think of these boundaries as kind of an ultimatum. If they do or don’t do something, you will take a specific action.

For example, if they try to manipulate you, you will stop interacting with them for a few days. If they do something worse, you could even consider leaving. Even though these boundaries are similar to a request, there’s one significant difference. You don’t want to share these boundaries with them. If they know the limits, they can start manipulating them and taking advantage of loopholes. Instead, think of these boundaries as your battle plan.

It’s all about setting guidelines for what you can accept and can’t. Even though you’ve set those boundaries, don’t expect the person to change. No matter what you do, there is no way to make them act differently. After all, those toxic traits are just who they are. But you can control how you act around them. And, if they go too far, you can always decide to leave.

4. Treat Yourself Well, Warns a Spouse of a Narcissist

Don’t put your life on hold just because someone in your life is acting like a complete piece of work. There’s no reason you should stop caring for yourself just because they need to be treated like babies. Taking time to be alone and pamper yourself can make a big difference. Go out, start a new hobby, take a bubble bath.

Do whatever you can to stay happy and positive. Especially after being emotionally drained by a narcissist, you need to relax and feel good. Even something as small as watching a movie can instantly brighten your day.

Final Thoughts on Self-Care Tips from the Spouse of a Narcissist

If you ask a spouse of a narcissist how they deal with their partner, they’ll probably point you towards self-care. They know better than anyone that the people who interact with narcissists need to take extra care of their mental health.

All of the tips that spouses of narcissists can give you revolve around shielding your emotions and treating yourself. One of the most important things you need to do if you live with a narcissist is to avoid fights. Just nod and go along with their crazy ideas. Create a support system that can listen to you and build your self-esteem.

Enforce some non-negotiable boundaries. And, always remember to make time for yourself. Start a new hobby, go to a party, make new friends. Find ways to spend time in a healthy environment. And make time to be alone from time to time.

11 Ways Ego Causes Relationship Drama and 7 Ways to Check It

April 21, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Maintaining a healthy relationship with a romantic partner requires many things, but a big ego is not one. It is one of the causes of relationship drama that could signify intense problems between you and your partner.

When one partner has a big ego, it can lead to a toxic situation. Excess self-importance in a relationship takes energy and causes stress. It’s emotionally draining to be in a heightened state of drama without thinking logically.

You’ll likely notice the egotism creeping in when someone feels threatened or during heated conflicts. If you can identify when it causes relationship drama, you can get the situation under control. You can apply strategies for improving your relationship by reeling in the ego.

Eleven Ways That Your Ego Causes Relationship Drama

If your partner has an inflated opinion of themselves, you know how it affects you daily. However, it’s worse if the person with a big ego is you because it’ll be harder for you to recognize the signs. If any of these situations are accurate for your relationship, it’s a sign of an imbalance of self-importance.

1. Communication Decreases When Someone’s Ego Gets in the Way

Being in a relationship requires that the partners communicate more than just greeting one another and saying goodbye. Opening up to your partner through intimate communication is essential to developing or maintaining a healthy relationship. If self-importance overshadows communication, it is a sure sign of unnecessary drama.

Sometimes the lack of communication comes from one of you refusing to listen to the other. It can also happen because you walk on eggshells around the other. When everything seems to be about one partner, the other might withdraw from the egotistical person.

If either of you keeps things to yourself or physically distances yourself from one other, it’s a sign that something is amiss. It shows that one of you is afraid to speak up because they know it could cause more conflict and drama.

2. One of You Has an Overwhelming Desire to be Right

Everyone wants to be right sometimes, but it shouldn’t be an overwhelming desire every time. Someone who always needs to be right pays little attention to their partner’s feelings. They only want to get their way and convince others to agree.

The self-important partner will hardly listen to the other person because they don’t want to hear another opinion. Their desire to be right will outweigh everything else, and they’ll likely remain defensive until the other partner gives in.

3. Someone Plays the Blame Game

An inflated opinion of themselves results in blaming others and circumstances for every misfortune or setback. People do this because it’s easier than admitting they played a role. It removes the burden of accountability, making the person feel in control.

However, blaming other people takes control away from the person. It prevents them from seeing the truth and understanding themselves, leaving them stuck in the same behavior patterns.

4. Narcissistic Tendencies

If you or your partner behave like the world revolves around you, it could indicate narcissistic tendencies. A narcissist doesn’t consider how other people feel, including their partner. They might manipulate others to go along with them and do what they want.

Some other signs of narcissism include talking about themselves constantly and bragging about how they’re better than others. They also don’t always read social cues because they focus on themselves.

Narcissism causes relationship drama because it makes the other partner feel like they can’t express themselves. They’ll feel like there’s no space for compromise, so they won’t even try after a while.

5. Lack of Apologizing When Necessary

Since egotistical people struggle to admit they’re wrong, they also have a hard time apologizing. They will even avoid saying sorry when there’s clear evidence that they were in the wrong and behaved inappropriately.

6. An Inflated Ego Seeks Retaliation

Someone with an inflated opinion of themselves will want to hurt those who wronged them. The person will think that hurting the other person will bring comfort, but it only creates more problems. Retaliation can take the form of name-calling or other insults.

7. Covering Up Mistakes

When an egotistical person makes a mistake, they cover them up so no one else can see. Even when they get caught, they’ll continue trying to cover things up and deny the truth. Sometimes the partner might cover up their feelings, but other times it’ll be more pressing matters.

8. Pride and Arrogance Will Overshadow the Good

If someone is self-centered and prideful, it can quickly cause relationship drama. It often builds slowly but becomes an issue that can destroy a relationship. Pride and arrogance occur when the egotistical partner thinks they are superior to their partner.

When one partner behaves like they’re superior, it creates an unhealthy imbalance in your relationship. It makes things condescending, straining your relationship until it becomes too much.

9. Your Ego Creates Jealousy

If you notice unreasonable jealousy within your relationship, it could be caused by an egotistic personality. Unreasonable is the keyword here because the feelings will be unfounded, overwhelming, and sometimes stem from a previous relationship.

Jealousy within a relationship can lead to controlling behavior, with one partner always wanting to know where the other is. They’ll demand all details, including who will be at a location and how long. Plus, they might want to know every password and read every text on their partner’s phone.

Jealously creates a negative situation and can destroy a relationship. The toxicity can quickly become too much, and the never-ending conflict is draining.

10. The Ego Creates Unhealthy Competition

While a bit of competition can be beneficial, highly competitive couples might have some problems. It should be fun competing with your partner, not getting angry or feeling belittled. No matter who takes it to the next level, it can cause unnecessary drama.

11. You Argue Over Little Things

Relationships are complicated, but you shouldn’t look to pick fights over every little thing. If minor issues set one of you off, it’s something to address. This situation shows that the ego is inflated, and it’ll cause constant irritation between the two of you.

The constant arguments and irritation will make everything get blown out of proportion. You might even notice that the egotistical partner throws tantrums when they don’t get what they want.

Seven Ways to Check an Inflated Ego

Now that you recognize the issue, how do you control your impulses?

1. Remember That No One Is Perfect

When you can remember that no one is perfect, it will change your approach to the relationship. It makes things equal, allowing both of you to grow and develop in the critical areas.

2. Replace Harsh Words

Anytime you think about saying something harsh, replace the first words you thought of. Use the time for a deep conversation instead, talking about the things that are upsetting to you. Be honest with your partner about what’s on your mind so you can come up with a plan and work through it together.

3. Compromise

When you’re in a relationship, both partners should have an equal say in how things are handled. Seek their opinion and don’t disregard their thoughts. Instead, use them to come up with a compromise that works for both of you.

4. Check That Ego and Apologize

When you’re wrong, don’t hesitate to apologize. Saying that you’re sorry can affect how things turn out and how your partner responds.

5. Remember Why You Were Drawn Together

Spending time reflecting and remembering why you wanted to be with your partner can help you check the issues in your relationship. This tip can help you focus on the things that matter most in your relationship.

6. Make Efforts to Communicate Better

When a big ego interferes with your relationship, focusing on better communication is essential. Make time to have discussions with your partner, and avoid judgment. Don’t interrupt them; make sure you’re focused and not distracted by other things.

Don’t hesitate to take the lead if your partner isn’t as open to communicating this way. Start by telling them the intimate details of your life that they don’t know yet. Work your way into discussing your current relationship problems, and they’ll be more likely to open up.

7. Stop Competing with Your Partner

When you’re in a relationship, the two of you equal. Stop trying to compete by earning more money or rising the career ladder before the other. It’s okay to challenge yourselves to improve, but you shouldn’t be competing against one another.

Final Thoughts on Ways Ego Causes Relationship Drama and Ways to Check It

A big ego has no place in a healthy relationship. It causes unnecessary drama and can ultimately destroy your relationship. If you related to any of the ways it causes relationship drama, make a positive plan for change.

Checking the ego and working to eliminate it can make all the difference. By making beneficial changes, you can save your relationship and remember why you fell for your partner in the first place.

3 Ways to Face Your Fear of Losing Someone You Love

April 21, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Losing someone you love isn’t easy to overcome because love is the most potent emotion people can experience. And it takes many forms: eight, to be exact. The two most well-known types are philia (platonic love) and eros (romantic love). But, no matter which of the eight types of love you experience, they all have one thing in common. Love makes you feel warm and bubbly inside, but it also makes you afraid.

It creates such a strong connection that you can’t imagine your life without the ones you love. Even though that fear is justified, you need to learn to face it. At some point, you will have to lose someone you love. In the worst-case scenario, your loved ones pass away. But many things can bring people apart. People grow up and grow apart. They stop having something in common and seeing eye to eye.

Sometimes distance is a factor that catalyzes the loss of connection. Sometimes, you even have to choose to let go of someone consciously. Not all love is healthy and beneficial. Most times, love can be destructive. It can be toxic and ugly, and you’d both be better off apart. It would help if you learned how to recover after losing someone. Otherwise, that loss could destroy you.

Why Are People Afraid of Losing Someone They Love?

Often, the fear of losing someone begins in childhood. Most people experience losing a family pet or a distant relative. But others even have to deal with losing parents, grandparents, brothers, and sisters. Some kids are abandoned, others are orphaned. Most humans experience the loss of love at a very young age. This trauma can even develop because parents are abusive or neglectful. Obviously, this scars kids. They don’t understand what went wrong and where those loved ones left.

Some are too young to understand what death means. And even wrapping your head around the fact that your mother left is almost impossible. These experiences create trauma responses in the future. You know how painful loss hurts, so you never want to experience it again. Instead of understanding that losing someone is inevitable, people start feeling disconnected. Many times, they even blame themselves for the loss. Or, on the flip side, they might begin victimizing and blaming others.

Fear makes people act in crazy ways. And it makes them more likely to develop unhealthy attachment styles. If you are afraid of losing a partner, chances are you will do anything to keep them around. Even if that’s toxic for the both of you. Or, if you are afraid of being betrayed by a friend, you might choose to close off. You might refuse to form new connections, and you’ll probably find it hard to trust new people. Most times, the trauma responses aren’t quite as obvious. The fear is more likely to show in subtler ways.

Being a little clingy or having some unrealistic demands doesn’t seem like the world’s end. But these behaviors are probably rooted in more profound issues. Even though you might not think you are afraid of losing people, it’s still better to learn to deal with loss either way. If left unresolved, these issues can affect all of your relationships. You might start pushing people away to protect yourself. And, one day, you could wake up and realize you’ve alienated everyone.

You risk not starting a new friendship or partnership not because you don’t like that person. But because you automatically assume that everyone would betray you at some point. Missing out on social interaction and meaningful relationships will affect your mental health. It will make you lonelier, more anxious or depressed, and generally unhappier. And it can even affect your physical health in the long run. So, if you want to avoid all these risks, you need to learn how to deal with losing someone you love.

3 Ways to Face Your Fear of Losing Someone You Love

Try adopting these habits help you overcome the fear of losing someone.

1. Learn To Make Yourself Happy

The main reason why people are afraid of losing someone they love is that they don’t know how to go on without them. Whenever people start loving someone, they create a special place in their life for that person. And that’s natural and can even be a good thing. But there’s a fine line between making room for someone and becoming dependent on that person.

Humans rely so much on other people, making them happy, that their well-being starts tied to the presence of certain people. It’s good to allow people to bring you happiness, but you also need to learn to make yourself happy. Overcoming loss is difficult, no matter how mentally prepared you are for it. That’s what emotions do to a person. All love comes with suffering. But people can get over the heartache. In time, the pain goes away.

But fear is something that lingers. Not only that, but fear makes you suffer before you even lose someone. Because many people don’t know how to be fulfilled alone, they are terrified of what they will feel if they lose someone. What you can do to avoid this overwhelming fear is learn to love yourself and make yourself happy. That way, you can learn to be independent while still being able to nurture connections. Spend more time alone doing activities that you like. Take some time to relax and meditate.

Doing little things for yourself every day will teach you how to love yourself without anyone’s help. You’ll see that you can be alright even when you are alone. Instead of being afraid of being alone, you can start embracing that idea. That doesn’t mean you’ll want to be alone. You’ll still want to connect to others. But the loss will not scare you anymore because you’ll know you’ll pull yourself together. The loss of a loved one will still hurt, but you won’t feel dread before it even happens.

2. Focus On What’s in Your Control

The fear of loss makes people feel the need to control everything around them. In this wild attempt to stop the loss from happening, many become control freaks. They exhibit toxic behaviors which hurt them and the surrounding people. For example, people who have family members suffering from terminal illnesses will decide without consulting the ill. They will often push the sick person into trying many experimental medicines and treatments.

Even if the ill person would rather stay at home, surrounded by loved ones, they get stuck in hospitals. Obviously, the family has all the best intentions. But they end up hurting the person they’re trying to help. And that’s all because they are afraid and don’t know how to cope. This example is somewhat extreme, but it highlights how much you can hurt people when you’re holding on to them at all costs.

But these controlling behaviors can also mean isolating someone so that they depend on you, thus ensuring they don’t leave. Fear can even make you isolate yourself to ensure that you have no one to lose. If you want to lose this fear and outgrow the toxic behaviors, you need to focus on controlling only what you can. Don’t try to stop the inevitable from happening and let the future unfold as it should.

What you can focus on is what you can do without overstepping any boundaries. You can start solving the problems you see in your relationships. Do your part to be a better person and stop hurting others or pushing them away. But don’t try to control what they do. Focus on having a plan for the future that doesn’t revolve around them, so you can always have a safety net. Work on yourself, and everything will fall into place.

3. Talk About Your Fears

Fear isn’t always irrational. Sometimes, it’s a reaction to someone’s behavior or the situation you find yourself in. When you find out that someone is ill, it’s a normal reaction to be afraid of the thought of losing them. When your partner acts distant and cold, it’s reasonable to think they might want to leave. No matter the case, talking about your fears with others can be beneficial. And, if the loss can be prevented, open communication could be the key to doing so.

If the cause of the potential loss is health issues, then there’s not much you can do to prevent the loss. You can offer your support, but it’s not your decision or theirs whether the loss happens. Still, talking to them about your fears can give you closure. If you don’t feel you can do that, talk to friends and family about your feelings. You can get some worries off your chest, and the people you speak to can console you.

When it comes to other types of losses, like a breakup, that’s something that you or they can prevent. In those cases, talking to them about your feelings can help you solve the issues that divide you. And, if you feel like talking won’t do you any good, you can still talk to someone else. Again, a friend or family member will offer to listen to you if you need to speak. When dealing with fear, you can even talk to a therapist, as they might help you more than anyone else could.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Face Your Fear of Losing Someone You Love

The idea of losing someone can be one of the scariest things to deal with. Loss makes you suffer, makes you feel alone, and leaves you feeling disconnected. This fear is also rooted in childhood trauma, and it often lingers throughout your whole life. It can make you develop unhealthy or toxic behaviors.

So, if you want to be able to cherish your connections without being overwhelmed by fear, you need to face them. One of the first things you can focus on is trying to become more independent. Learn to make yourself happy so that you don’t rely on others to feel content. This way, you can learn to live alone, and loss will not seem as scary. Also, it would help if you stopped being a control freak. If someone wants to leave, let them go. Focus on what you can control.

If your behavior is the one that causes issues, fix it. But don’t try to make someone change if they don’t want to. Lastly, you need to make sure that you talk about your fears. Talk to friends, family, or even a therapist. Loss is inevitable, so don’t let fear taint your present connections.

10 Fruit Trees You Can Grow in Pots (and How to Plant Them)

April 21, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

While it’s easy to go out and buy fruit at the grocery store, it’s even better to grow fruit trees in pots at home. Growing fruit in planters can be life-changing, and you’ll love having the plants in your home, too. However, the task might seem overwhelming if you are unsure of where to start.

Experts say that adults should consume 1.5 to 2.5 cups of fruit each day. This amount seems like an easy feat, but it’s only easy if you have fruit on hand. When you grow fruit trees at home, you will always have easily-accessible snacks.

Once you’ve decided that you want to grow fruit trees in pots, you must figure out the best ones to plant. You’ll want to consider the climate in your location, accessibility to the sun, and other essential factors. Plus, you must know how to plant them if you want your fruit trees to produce food.

There’s also something remarkable about the versatility of laurel hedge plants for evergreen boundaries. They not only add privacy but also serve as a windbreaker and noise buffer. With their dense foliage, they remain a top choice for gardeners seeking both beauty and functionality.”>laurel hedge plants for evergreen boundaries. They not only add privacy but also serve as a windbreaker and noise buffer. With their dense foliage, they remain a top choice for gardeners seeking both beauty and functionality.

Focus on Self-Fertile Trees to Start if You Want to Grow Fruit Trees

Self-fertile trees don’t require another plant for pollination, whereas self-sterile options do. You might take plants indoors, depending on the season, when growing plants in pots. It would help if you considered that they might not have the other plants they need unless you plant those, too.

It’s best to start with self-fertile plants so that you don’t have to worry about it in the beginning. There are pros and cons to both self-fertile and self-sterile fruit trees, so research each type. For professional tree services Greensboro, contact General Tree Service, Inc..

Ten Fruit Trees You Can Grow in Pots (and How to Plant Them)

1. Avocado Trees

Avocado trees are a good option for growing in pots because you can use the seed from the fruit you eat. You’ll use three or four toothpicks to suspend the pit with the pointy side down in a glass of water.

Cover only about one inch of the avocado pit in water, and put the cup in a warm place. Make sure to avoid direct sunlight until the roots appear. Once you have roots, you can plant your avocado tree in a pot, leaving half of the seed exposed.

Avocado trees thrive in moderate humidity, and you must water them two or three times each week. You might have to wait five to thirteen years for the tree to produce an avocado, but it’s well worth the wait.

2. Apple Trees

Before growing an apple tree, you’ll want to remember how big they get. If you keep the tree in a pot indoors, you’ll likely want to choose a dwarf size apple tree. The seed you plant might not be the same tree you receive, as apple trees are self-sterile and require another seed or plant to bear fruit.

You can start apple trees as seeds, placing them on a damp paper towel inside a resealable plastic bag. Put the bag in the refrigerator for 70 to 80 days, waiting until you see shoots coming from the seeds. After planting your tree, please place it in a sunny location and water it every ten to twelve days.

Apple trees can take eight to ten years to bear fruit, so be patient. Additionally, these fruit trees require colder weather for part of the year, so they likely won’t survive in tropical areas.

3. Cherry Trees

To grow cherry trees in pots, you’ll need to place dried cherry seeds in an airtight container in the refrigerator. Leave the seeds for ten weeks, and when the shoots are ready, plant them in the pot of your choice. You don’t need multiple varieties of seeds because cherries are self-fertile.

Cherry trees require lots of sunlight and circulation, so use sandy soil for proper drainage. Keep the soil moist, watering anytime it starts to feel dry. After seven to ten years, watch for the tree to produce cherries.

4. Tangerine Trees

When growing tangerines in a pot, you’ll want to keep them in a well-lit location but avoid direct sunlight. The plants grow to around three or four feet tall, so keep that in mind when you plant them.

Choose soil that drains well, and be sure not to over soak it. If possible, use seeds from fresh fruit for a better chance of growth. It can take four to seven years for a tangerine seed to grow flowers and produce fruit.

5. Currant Trees

Currant trees are self-fertile, so they can quickly grow in a planter. You can choose from many varieties and colors, making it the perfect fruit tree for your home. Start with a container of about ten gallons, and gradually increase the size each year.

When you water the tree, aim to pour about an inch of water each week over the root zone. Avoid giving it a little water each day because that only moistens the surface area. Your currant tree can produce fruit in one to three years, so you don’t have to wait as long as others.

6. Plum Trees

Plums are a great option when planting fruit in a pot, but obtaining the seed takes a little work. Put one pit from a plum on a sunny windowsill for a few days, then use a nutcracker to break the shell and get the seed from inside. Be careful not to damage the seed as you crack open the pit.

Place the seed inside a container of water to see which ones sink. The seeds that drop are good to plant because it indicates they’ll sprout when you plant them. Leave the sunken seeds in the water overnight before planting them.

When you’re ready to plant, you’ll want to fill a container two-thirds full of soil or compost. Add a little water, and plant the seeds inside before sealing the container.

Put your sealed container in the refrigerator until the seeds germinate and sprout. This process can take six to eight weeks, so be patient. Once grown, plant the seeds in the soil using a pot a few inches deeper than the roots.

A plum tree can produce fruit in three to five years with proper care, including watering, sunlight, and humidity. The fruit might not be the same variety as what you consumed, so don’t be surprised it’s different.

7. Lemon Trees

Lemons are easy to grow from seeds because you can place them directly in the soil. If some don’t sprout, plant at least five to ten seeds. If some don’t germinate, make sure you water them two to three times each week.

It’s best to obtain seeds from a fresh lemon and try to gather the largest ones you can find. Lemon trees require lots of sunlight, and it takes five to fifteen years to bear fruit.

8. Peach Trees

You can plant peaches after removing their seeds from the pits. Before planting peach seeds in a pot, you must wrap them in a damp paper towel and refrigerate them for eight weeks. After eight weeks, the seeds should have sprouted so that you can plant them in soil.

Peach trees require good drainage, or the root system can die. Plus, you must keep the soil moist without overwatering to prevent the tree from rotting. Peach trees need lots of sunlight, and it can take three to five years to produce fruit.

9. Blueberry Trees (Technically a shrub, not fruit trees)

Blueberry trees require cold temperatures, so this option might not work in a tropical climate. When you plant blueberry seeds, you must have at least one another variety because they are self-sterile plants. Blueberries are easy to grow, but you must keep some space between plants for the roots to grow.

10. Pear Trees

To grow pears in pots, you must place the seeds in a plastic bag with a wet paper towel. Put the bag in the refrigerator for sixty to ninety days until you see sprouts. After that, put the seeds in a glass of water for two days before planting them in the soil.

Pear trees thrive in well-drained soil and with at least six hours of sunlight. Water it at least once a week for best results, and remember that it’ll need more water depending on the amount of sun it receives. It can take three to ten years for a pear tree to produce fruit.

Growing From Seeds or Obtaining Roots to Start Growing Fruit Trees

While growing plants from seeds take a while to produce fruit, it’s a fun and easy way to get started. However, if you want plants that have fruit sooner, you can get plants by cutting roots from mature trees.

Final Thoughts on Fruit Trees You Can Grow in Pots (and How to Plant Them)

If you don’t have the space to grow fruit trees in your yard or prefer potted plants, these options can help. It’s fun to have fruit trees throughout your home or sitting on your patio, so start planting your trees as soon as possible.

Whether growing your trees from seed or using mature roots, it’ll be well worth the experience. Start with one or two trees at a time, and make it a point to try new ones as often as you can.

3 Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Person in Your Life

April 20, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Emotions are one thing that humans have yet to master, especially when they’re dealing with a toxic person. Humanity has developed so that space travel is attainable; nevertheless, the soul remains a mystery. Even though the soul is regarded mainly as a philosophical concept, it still seems to be involved in many people’s decisions. That could explain why we seem to keep toxic people around us, even though logically, we know that’s not the best decision.

Most people can empathize with the feeling of wanting to keep someone around, even though you know they’re not good for you. This often happens in romantic relationships. And, young people are prone to making the mistake of falling in love with the wrong person. You’ve probably been that gullible teenager who believed true love would prevail. But toxic relationships are something much more common than they might seem.

These relationships aren’t just romantic ones. They are also platonic, like friendships, work relationships, acquaintances, etc. And they aren’t just the relationships in which one person is an abuser. Toxic behavior can quickly become abusive, but they aren’t always one-sided. In many unhealthy relationships, all parties involved act in harmful ways to others. Keeping a toxic person in your life will only hold you back and disallow you from finding true happiness.

Three Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Person

Do you see these red flags in your relationship?

1. You Can’t Communicate Well With A Toxic Person

Communication isn’t as easy as exchanging words and hoping the other person understands. It’s about how people frame a piece of information in other to send the right message. It’s about how willing people are to listen to each other. In simpler terms, communication is a two-way street. In a relationship, especially a romantic one, you need to take it one step further, but many people forget to be kind, proactive and listen to others when they communicate.

This leads to toxic communication patterns. There are four primary patterns: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. Criticism is probably the most common one, but it can become very toxic quickly. Criticizing someone seems like a very normal thing to do. And that’s because you’ve heard criticisms thrown around all your life. That doesn’t mean you can’t express that you have a problem in a relationship. But there’s a difference between a complaint and criticism.

But when people start essentially throwing insults on each other’s faces, that’s when it gets toxic. Contempt works similarly. While criticisms are about attacking someone’s character, personality, or skills, contempt is more about showing disrespect. It’s usually passive-aggressive behavior, but it has similar effects in the long term as criticisms. They just hurt the other person without offering a solution to the problem.

And then there are the other two toxic behaviors, defensiveness and stonewalling, which are reactions to criticisms and contempt, respectively. When someone is constantly bombarded with complaints, they start being insecure and hurt. That’s when they will begin to act defensively in an attempt to minimize the pain caused by the criticisms. It’s a form of self-protection, but it’s still toxic behavior. This makes people less interested in listening to what the other has to say.

Defensive people are usually more focused on proving their innocence than solving problems. Stonewalling is similar, with one key exception. It does not focus on shifting the blame or getting rid of it. In fact, it isn’t even about guilt. It’s a response to contempt. Again, it acts as a self-defense mechanism.

People engaging in stonewalling tend to close off, and they do anything they can to withdraw from any interaction. It’s possible that this person will stop responding altogether, or they’ll only talk to you as long as the conversation is light. People can be defensive and stonewall you without these patterns responding to anything. But these behaviors are usually reactionary.

2. They Aren’t Supportive

In a relationship, a certain level of support is expected. For example, a healthy relationship with a friend means that you can rely on them to hang out when you’re feeling down. In a healthy romantic relationship, it’s normal to expect your partner to help you achieve your dreams. Of course, supporting someone else has its limits. Your partner can’t sacrifice themselves so that you can achieve your goals. But expecting them to be the ones making dinner if you work more hours than them isn’t unreasonable.

Unfortunately, when dealing with a toxic person, you won’t get much support. If a friend, family member, or partner never does anything to help you out, that’s a sign that they probably don’t care if you succeed. That means they aren’t attached to you for who you are inside. For example, even if a partner expresses that they love you, they probably don’t care that much if they don’t show it. Not only that, but unsupportive people often hold you back.

They don’t understand why you can’t always be with them. An unsupportive friend will probably expect you to answer the phone whenever they have a problem, but they won’t do the same for you. Toxic people expect support from you and get mad if you don’t offer it. But they rarely give you the same consent they demand. They are probably holding you back and forcing you to make unhealthy sacrifices so that you can maintain a relationship.

3. They Exhibit Controlling Behaviors

It’s important to share information with the people you have connections with. The stronger the bond is, the more personal the information will be. Telling your partner where you are going is one thing. But them demanding you send them pictures with you holding a fork in your head so they can be sure you aren’t lying is not acceptable. In most cases, the controlling behaviors won’t even be that obvious.

They might ask one too many questions about who you are hanging out with. They might offhandedly mention that they don’t like one of your friends. Slowly, they might start getting mad if you don’t text them enough or go out a lot. Maybe they comment on your purchases or try to make you financially dependent on them. And these behaviors get worse and worse as time goes on. Sometimes, it might even become psychological, emotional, or physical abuse.

The easiest way to spot a controlling person is by seeing if they always insist on doing things their way. They will act that way even if they know their way is objectively worse than yours. And they do it just because they have an innate need to control everything. They are also the people who never accept that they are to blame and are very unpredictable. They often lie, even if they risk being caught in that lie.

Three Ways to Move on from a Toxic Person

Read these three tips for when it is time to release someone from your life.

1. Don’t Expect Closure

Moving on from any relationship is hard, even if you get closure. Even when you have all your questions answered and your slate is clean, you still miss the person you left behind. But it’s even harder to move on when you don’t have that closure. And most toxic people won’t bother giving you the peace of mind you need.

Because they don’t know how to communicate, or they genuinely don’t care about how you feel, they will probably refuse to have a mature conversation. They won’t attempt to tell you what went wrong, what bothered them. And they definitely won’t offer you a sincere apology and then just let you go.

When dealing with toxic people, you need to cut all ties and give yourself closure. Forgive yourself for how that relationship made you act. Understand that you made the best decision for yourself, and you don’t owe them anything. And always keep in mind that your future will be much better without them.

2. Cut Off Contact From The Toxic Person

A toxic person will probably refuse to let you go and try to pressure you to come back at all costs. They are also likely to know how to manipulate, gaslight, or guilt-trip you into doing whatever they want. Because of that, it’s best to cut all ties with them when you decide to move on. Otherwise, you risk rekindling your connection with them, and you will likely fall back into the same unhealthy pattern you were in before.

3. Focus On Loving Yourself

If you’ve had to deal with a toxic person for a while, you’ve probably had to make sacrifices without getting anything in return. You’ve been so focused on caring for them that you forgot how to care about yourself. That’s why one of the first things you need to do when leaving a toxic person is learn to love yourself again.

You need to care for yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Going to a therapist might be the first step in rebuilding your life. But it’s also essential to take things slow and focus on your well-being for a while. Take some rest days, exercise, meditate, read, eat healthily, or watch a show. Every tiny thing you do for yourself will help you heal the wounds created by the relationship’s toxicity.

Final Thoughts on Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Person and How to Move Forward

People love and care because of many reasons. They care for their parents because they are the people who raised them. They care for their co-workers because they see them every day. And they even fall in love with the wrong person for reasons that don’t make any logical sense. But, because we care, we also risk allowing toxic people to come into our lives.

When it comes down to it, we all know who the toxic people in our lives are. They are the ones who make us feel insecure, scared, and even unlovable. They are the ones who we would give everything for. However, they don’t give us much in return. They are the ones who make us act in unhealthy ways, even if we are good people on the inside. And it would be best if you let these people go. Cut all ties with them and move on. Don’t ask for closure. Just leave. Give yourself the closure you need, and learn to care for yourself again.

8 Things That Cause Dark Spots on the Hands (and How to Fix Them)

April 20, 2022 by Chris Butler

As you get older, you’ll notice your skin changes. Whether it’s the tiny lines around your eyes or wrinkles on your forehead, your skin looks different from when you were young. One change many people notice right away is the dark spots on their hands. You may wonder what causes these dark spots. Here are eight reasons you have dark spots and, more importantly, how to get rid of them.

What are the dark spots on your skin?

Sometimes called age spots, solar lentigines, or liver spots–dark spots on your hands that come from the hyperpigmentation of your skin. Besides finding them on your hands, you may have some hyperpigmentation under your eyes, on your chest, or neck. These areas are more sensitive as you get older, and the skin looks thinner. The dark spots are a surplus of something called melanin. Melanin is the natural pigment found in your skin. It gives your skin its color. The darker your skin shade, the more melanin you have. Age spots happen when your body makes too much melanin. The melanin gets massed together, forming flat, oval shapes on your skin. Dark spots don’t hurt, and they’re not dangerous, but some people don’t like them.

1 – Vitamin E deficiency

Dark spots get worse as you age. According to studies, vitamin E may help reduce them. There’s not much evidence in humans yet, but vitamin E deficiencies in lab rats caused skin changes. So, in case vitamin E deficiency results in dark spots, try to get enough vitamin E in your diet. Add these foods to your diet to increase your vitamin E.

Sunflower seeds and oil
Soybean oil
Almonds
Pine nuts
Brazil nuts
Pistachio
Peanuts and peanut butter
Beet greens
Collard greens
Spinach
Red bell peppers
Pumpkins

2 – You’re over fifty

Once you’re over fifty, you notice signs of deterioration and discoloration on your skin. The damage could have occurred years ago, but it may not show up until you’re older. After 50, your body doesn’t produce as much collagen or elastin as it did when you were younger. These proteins make your skin look plump, smooth, and healthy.

3 – Fair skin makes you more inclined to develop dark spots

You’re more apt to get age spots if you have fair-colored skin. You don’t have as much melanin as someone with dark skin, so if you’re in the sunshine, you’re more likely to develop age spots on your hands, face, and arms.

4 – You’ve had bad sunburns in the past

Back in the day, beach babes put baby oil on their skin to get a nice sunburn that would later turn into a tan. Little did they know that they’d have age spots on their skin a couple of decades later. There was a lack of understanding back then about how sunburn damages your skin. If you’ve had bad sunburns in the past, you’re more apt to develop skin problems later in life, including age spots or cancer.

5 – Dark spots might appear if you use a tanning bed

Tanning beds, like the sunshine, can damage the skin. There’s a misconception in the United States that a tan makes you look healthy. Because of this, many people unknowingly use tanning beds to achieve the “tanned” look. What they don’t realize is that they’re damaging their skin. Tanning beds use UV lights that cause dark spots, just like the sun’s rays.

6 – You spend a lot of time in the sunshine

Spending time in the sun makes you prone to dark spots, especially as you age. The ultraviolet light speeds up your body’s production of melanin. After years of exposure to the sun’s rays, the melanin masses together into dark pigmentation spots.

7 – Genetics can increase your chances of dark spots

You might be predisposed to get dark spots if your parents or grandparents had them. This may be because of your skin tone and your hereditary tendencies. You can’t change your family genetics, but you can take certain precautions to avoid getting dark spots.

8 – Ultraviolet rays from artificial sources

Being in the sunshine exposes you to ultraviolet rays (UV rays), but many artificial sources of UV rays can also cause dark spots.

Black-light lamps: These lamps give off UV rays.
Sunlamps: How long you’re exposed to this type of lamp determines how many UVA rays you’re exposed to. These lamps treat people with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to reduce their depression. Limit your time under this lamp if you have this condition.
Mercury-vapor lamps: These are used to light public areas like gyms or streets. When they’re working correctly, you’re not exposed to UV rays, but UV rays can escape if the outer bulb gets broken. Protective measures have been created to avoid breakage of the outer bulb, but they’re often not installed correctly or faulty.
High-pressure xenon or xenon-mercury arc lamps or plasma torches: These sources of UV rays are used in many things like solar panels or even car headlights. So, depending on how much you’re exposed to these lights at work or home, you risk getting dark spots on your skin.
UV lamp: UV lamps, or germicidal lamps as they’re sometimes called, are used to disinfect water, nonporous surfaces, or air. This radiation reduces bacteria growth and spread. Exposure to this radiation causes burns on your skin. It’s important to avoid direct skin exposure to UV radiation and to never look directly at a UV lamp, not even for a second. Studies show that the UV rays emitted by these germicidal lamps put humans at risk for skin cancer or cataracts.

How do you get rid of dark spots?

Here are a few treatments that can help decrease dark spots.

1 – Over-the-counter skin-lightening products

You can buy fade creams and lotions to lighten your dark spots. They may have some effect on them. You may not notice fading until you’ve used it for several weeks or months. Some skin-lightening products aren’t safe because of high levels of mercury. Mercury damages your kidneys and nerves. Avoid using these skin-lightening ingredients, such as

Calomel: The United States recently banned this ingredient. If you buy skin products from overseas, be sure they don’t contain this chemical.
Cinnabaris
Quicksilver
Hydrargyri oxydum rubrum
Any product that has the word mercury or mercuric in it

2 – Vitamin C

Vitamin C can fade hyperpigmentation like dark spots.

3 – Laser and intense pulsed light

Your dermatologist can use laser light therapy to destroy the melanin cells without hurting your skin. It can take several sessions for the dark spots to fade totally.

4 – Freezing off dark spots

Freezing is a procedure by a dermatologist to remove dark spots. They apply liquid nitrogen for several seconds. This will destroy the excess pigmentation. Your skin will heal lighter than before. There is a slight risk of scarring when you get this procedure.

5 – Chemical peel

This is a chemical solution applied to your skin to remove the dark spots. It may cause some reddening or scarring of your skin.

When to contact your doctor for advice on age spots

Contact your doctor if you notice any of these conditions on or around your dark spots.

Growing larger
Bleeding
Changes in colors
Getting irregular sides

How to prevent dark spots

If you already have dark spots, you’ll want to protect yourself from getting more. Here are some suggestions to prevent getting more age spots.

When you’re outside, stay in the shade.
Choose to be inside during the hottest times of the day (10:00 to 3:00).
Wear protective clothing that covers arms and legs
Put on a hat with a big brim to protect your face, head, and neck.
Always wear sunglasses to protect your eyes and the skin near your eyes from UV rays.
Wear zinc-based sunscreen on the exposed parts of your skin. Reapply every few hours.
Don’t use a tanning bed.
Choose to make up with an SPF.

Final thoughts on understanding the causes of dark spots and how to treat them

Skin problems like dark spots are part of aging. You may notice these on your hands, face, or your neck. Of course, you can age gracefully if you take precautions to protect your skin. Hyperpigmentation of the melanin in your skin is primarily because of sunshine’s UV rays. Here in the west, it’s thought that a “healthy” tan is a good thing. This thinking has caused many people to damage their skin and get age spots. Of course, other things contribute to dark spots like being fair-skinned or even some artificial UV lamps that most people are exposed to without knowing it. The best thing you can do is protect your skin the best you can and avoid tanning beds and too much sunshine.

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