As a heartbroken man, you know the pain from a breakup is real. While society has given a stigma that men shouldn’t cry, which is far from the truth, losing someone you love can bring you to your knees. What should you do once you part ways with your partner?
The severity of pain depends on many factors, such as how long you dated, the circumstances surrounding the separation, and how in love you were with this girl. It won’t hurt nearly as harmful to end something with a person you’ve only been dating for a few weeks.
Sadly, when you’ve been together for months or even years, then it’s a whole different story. Men are expected to be strong, not show much emotion, and see this relationship as another notch on their belt. Thankfully, the old stereotypes are falling, by the way, and you can be free to think and feel accordingly.
Are you a woman recovering from heartbreak? We have you covered, too. We wrote a separate guide for you because men and women display slightly different behaviors post-breakup.
Ten Things a Heartbroken Man Will Do to Heal After a Breakup
Whether you’re a man or a woman, you should know that it’s okay to hurt, and it’s certainly okay to let those emotions out. It’s unhealthy to keep pain bottled up inside without a release. Here are some specific things that the heartbroken man will do to heal after this devastating blow.
1. A Heartbroken Man Will Prepare to Move On
While it’s not ideal, the best way to get over someone is to move on with someone else. You should keep things in perspective, though, and know that most rebound relationships don’t work. A survey conducted by Panda Gossips found that only about ten percent of rebound relationships thrive.
According to the article, part of the reason they fail is the sadness, loss of self-worth, and distress brought into the situation. When a relationship ends, you lose a piece of your heart. How can you give yourself to another relationship when you haven’t healed from the last one?
2. Get Rid of Mementos
If the relationship is done and over for good, then there’s no use in having old things of this person’s hanging around the house. The heartbroken man won’t want her clothes or jewelry around his place, and you should give them back to your ex. Seeing these things is a constant reminder of what went wrong, and you can’t deal with these things constantly staring you in the face.
3. Keep Busy
It’s not good for anyone’s mental health to stay behind four walls. Getting out and socializing will help you to move on. When a person stays home, alone with their pain, they’re not doing anything productive to get past their loss.
The best thing to do is keep living and not let depression get a foothold. When you start isolating yourself, it’s not good for your mental or physical health.
4. A Heartbroken Man Will Seek Closure
All relationships need closure. If there are unresolved issues, unanswered questions, and things that you need to settle, you need these matters resolved. Parting ways with someone you love can be traumatic, and trauma has a way of getting a grip on your heart.
According to an article on Psychology Today by Dr. Lisa Firestone, she explains that you must find a way to process what you’ve been through, even if you can’t get closure. Some endings are bitter, and the other party may not be willing to part amicably. So, you must have enough courage and strength within yourself to move on in these instances.
Dr. Firestone encourages people to feel what happened and allow themselves to process the heartbreak. If you don’t, the following relationship must handle your baggage from the previous one. Getting close is a way of unpacking the suitcase so that you can have a great relationship with the next person.
5. You’re Not Defined by This Failure
When there’s a loss in your life, you see it as a failure. You’re only human, so it’s only normal to see it as another failed attempt at happiness. However, the heartbroken man will grieve for a bit, but they won’t let this situation define them.
Breaking up with someone brings about significant changes in your life, and you need to learn to view things differently. However, it doesn’t make you any less of a person than you were before this happened. You need to adjust your reality.
6. Move Through the Grieving Process
The grieving process is something that you will experience no matter what the loss. If someone passes in your family, you lose a love, or you experience a job loss, you still go through the same processes. Grief comes in waves, and one day you may be doing great, but the next day you can hardly get out of bed.
A study conducted by Binghamton University found that men never tend entirely to recover, but they move on. They also found that most people have at least three failed relationships by the time they’re 30 years old. However, men are more apt to show anger and engage in self-destructive behaviors than women.
7. A Heartbroken Man Will Not Backwards (Usually)
Most men don’t want to go backward. Unless the relationship was long and there were children, assets, or other strong ties, go forward. Women tend to be the ones that keep going back to a toxic situations because they don’t know how to move on from a manipulator.
However, men tend to be a bit stronger-willed during a breakup. Thus, they don’t have the intense emotional ties in a relationship as women. This can help you to heal after you part ways with someone.
8. Get Counseling
It’s okay to ask for help when you’re hurting, and counseling is an excellent avenue to get this assistance. More men are becoming engaged in opening up and dealing with things rather than pushing them under a rug. Since men, by nature, have a voracious appetite for intimacy, it’s better than tame their alpha male characteristics through counseling.
The last thing you need is to add more trouble to your life by getting someone pregnant or becoming emotionally attached too soon. Counseling is an excellent way to heal so that you’re ready for the next serious relationship.
9. Take Responsibility
The heartbroken man realizes that there are three sides to every story, her side, his side, and the truth. To heal and move past what you’ve been through, you must take responsibility for your actions. Did you cheat on her, and it caused the split?
Perhaps, you were verbally unkind or had other traits that you brought to the relationship that drove her mad. Once you end a relationship, it’s time for some truth serum. What part of this was your fault, and how can you fix it the next time?
The key is that if you want to have a great relationship one day, you will see all the errors in this relationship as steppingstones. Maybe there are some things you need to change, but possibly breaking up was all her fault. Each situation is different, but it’s essential to analyze the situation and be honest.
10. A Heartbroken Man Embraces His New Single Status
While you might not like the place you’re at in life, you can undoubtedly bloom where you’re planted. Being single can be a lot of fun, and it’s great when you don’t have to answer to anyone about where you are, how much money you spent, and what time you’ll be home. Sure, it hurts when you want to be part of a couple, but when you’re married down the line, you will relish these days of freedom.
Throw caution to the wind and have some fun. Proverbs 17:22 states that a merry heart is just as good as medicine, as it’s very healing to the soul. So, when you’re out there laughing and having the time of your life, it’s a healing balm to the brokenhearted man.
Eight Things You Shouldn’t Do After a Split
You know all the things you should do after you part ways with your lover, but what about the things that you shouldn’t do? These things can be detrimental to you and can alter your life negatively.
Here are eight don’ts after you split from a relationship:
- Use social media and their friends to stalk them
- Jump into a rebound situation too quickly
- Fixate on the failures
- Publish your single status
- Say negative things about your ex
- Self-medicate the pain
- Talk about it to every single person who will listen
- Lose hope in your future
Final Thoughts on the Heartbroken Man
There’re no perfect relationships, but some men feel the need to be connected to someone, whether it’s healthy or not. Remember, the only thing worse than being alone is being with someone wrong for you. While being single may not be your ideal scenario, you can certainly have fun during this phase of your life.
The worst thing you can do is lock yourself behind four walls and grieve for extended periods. Sure, it’s okay to grieve, but allow yourself a space of time to work through it and move on.