When you are in a relationship that feels like it is draining the life energy out of you, it can almost feel like it’s stealing your soul. You were created to love and to be loved, and if you aren’t feeling that, you need to reevaluate why you are staying and make a plan to get out.
Can you change things for the better, or is the only option a breakup?
That could depend on how severely negative things have become. It’s possible that your partner is not aware of your suffering.
A heart-warming love that will last your entire lifetime is a dream of many of us romantics. If your relationship is far from being your fairytale, it’s a sign that it might be stealing the life right out of you that you so rightly deserve. Your soul should rejoice when you see your partner, when you hear them speak, when you feel their touch. Your soul should be uplifted by the immense power of their love and support. If you just aren’t feeling the love, it may be too late to save this particular partnership.
5 Signs A Relationship Is Draining You
1. You can’t remember the last time you laughed
Losing your ability to experience joy is one major sign that your relationship is taking more out than it puts in. This might be indicative of a minor or major depressive episode. Anxiety, loneliness, frustration, resentment; all of these negative emotions make you feel powerless to control not just your mood, but your future in the relationship.
A study by researchers at Carleton University found that in psychologically abusive relationships, ‘the termination of a relationship was associated with an absence of positive behaviors, rather than a high frequency of negative behaviors.’
Other factors that led to the breakup of a relationship where one partner felt this way are the ‘diminishment of self-esteem, verbal abuse, social and emotional control, jealousy, and withdrawal.’
2. You feel hopeless
When you fear your partner, be it their response to your decision to leave, or your fear of further mental abuse by them due to how negative the relationship has become, you are afraid to make a change. This fear keeps you from being able to move on in a positive way and away from the toxicity.
3. You think about life after the relationship
- ‘If only I was single, I could do ___.’
- ‘I’ll never date someone like this again.’
- ‘I wish I could get out of this relationship without hurting my partner.’
- ‘In my next relationship I’ll do things differently.’
These phrases are all focused on the future, and it is clearly a future minus the relationship that is stealing your soul. You are seeking a more positive future for yourself through your daydreams, which is a sign that you’re ready to leave your relationship.
4. You put your passion on hold
Before you met your partner, you did different things, had dreams that you were going to fulfill and exciting challenges ahead of you. If you have put all of that on hold for your mate, without their support to still pursue dreams, it’s a sign that the relationship you have with them is draining you.
5. You spend less time with your friends
Researchers at the Department of Psychology at the University of Chicago studied adults who were socially isolated and factors related to their mental and physical health. They found that ‘While socially isolated young adults did not report more frequent everyday stressors, they rated everyday events as more intensely stressful. They were also more likely to report passively coping with stressors, and to show greater vascular resistance, a mechanism of blood pressure control previously associated with passive coping and a risk factor for hypertension. Finally, they exhibited slower wound healing and poorer sleep efficiency.’
The team of researchers also found that those who had not spent time with their friends were more likely to feel insecure about the romantic relationship that they were in. Psychologists believe that relationship insecurity is related to how we are raised as children and if we feel loved and supported by our parents. If you are feeling insecure because your relationship is doing this, you will definitely need the help and support of your social network in order to make a break from your partner.