“I love you” is undoubtedly one of the most powerful phrases in the English language. But when you’re in a relatively new relationship, you might not want to throw the words out there too soon. So if you want to show your new partner how you feel without proclaiming your love too early on, what can you do?
And, you might also be resistant to saying those three sweet words for other reasons, as well. Perhaps you feel fear that your partner doesn’t reciprocate–yet. Or, maybe you feel that the term is overstating those newly blossoming feelings that are unfolding inside of you.
Regardless of your reasons for choosing not to speak the L-word out loud, you can use sweet, intimate gestures to express your genuine feelings and also build a stronger bond.
Here are 5 ways you can show your partner you’re in love without using the words
1. Build a strong friendship.
Good relationships don’t just happen overnight. They require mutual love, trust, and respect. Creating a strong foundation as friends, who share everything, will enhance sexual pleasures at a later time in your union. The act of allowing and acceptance is a beautiful bond in human sexuality. Feeling safe is a cornerstone of a strong love relationship. That’s because only you can only feel genuine happiness when you know your partner has your back and your best intentions at heart.
This leads to the release of the love hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin creates a sense of happiness and well-being. This hormone is associated with empathy and trust, therefore releasing even more feelings of love and security in a relationship. Friends don’t require sex. They require acknowledgment, understanding and mutual admiration. You cultivate love through the depth of a strong friendship.
2. Connect through food.
There is something especially touching when someone you love cooks for you. To have a meal prepared with love is a true act of love. Women love men who cook. And it is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Even if you cannot cook, just picking out a meal at a restaurant and enjoying the moment together is enough to feel good. Food connects us through cultures, heritage, and social events. We need it for health and fueling our bodies.
Try taking a cooking class together. Make dessert for one another. Turn off all phones, get a glass of wine, and enjoy the culinary arts. The simple act of feeding stimulates conversation and will increase your bond.
“Food is symbolic to love when words are inadequate.” ~Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt
3. Find hobbies and activities to do together.
Share a bucket list of things you want to do with each other. Finding ways to interact outside of the bedroom is romantic. You can hike in the rain, chase a sunset, or take an art class in town. Make time to do the things that you like to do alone and share them with your partner. Teach each other new things. Workout together. Read to one another. Have playtime and a picnic in the park. Go to a baseball game. Go roller skating and return to places that you enjoyed in your youth.
Being silly and laughing with each other is precious. Sharing these parts of yourself enhances your emotional connection.
4. Be vulnerable and open up about your dreams and fears.
Research professor for the University of Houston, Dr. Brene Brown, has dedicated the past thirteen years to researching vulnerability, courage, and shame. She states the following:
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Being able to mentally bond is a huge release to our emotional and physical bodies. Ask questions about the past and present.
Get to know each other by breaking down the barriers of embarrassment and shame. Be courageous with one another about those things that scare you. To fully give of yourself to another requires the expansion of vulnerability. It forces you to put down your walls and give all of yourself.
5. Be affectionate.
Cuddling, kissing, snuggling and hugging are all forms of physical connections that are needed in relationships. There are also ways of mentally stimulating your partner with a love letter, a handmade note, or just a post-it note on a mirror. Sending a sweet playful text during the day creates a feeling of sentimental devotion.
Intimate physical gestures are a powerful way to communicate your feelings. A back massage, a nice foot rub, or even the stroking of your partner’s arm while watching television is enough to send the message that you are in love, loud and clear.
We feel loved when we are touched. We feel wanted when we receive kind words of encouragement from a partner. Physical affection is a point of contact that enhances emotional, spiritual and physical bonds between you and your partner.
Final Thoughts on Showing Love Without Using the Words “I love you“
A new romance needs care and attention. Even if you feel like you are already in love, your timing for dropping the L-word needs careful handling. Saying it too soon, before your partner wholly reciprocates, or in the wrong time and place, can make for an awkward situation.
Instead, you can show your partner that you are feeling love for them without placing yourself in that position.
Moreover, you’ll be able to tell sooner than later how your partner feels in return. Take notice of their response. Whether or not your partner shies away from your efforts or responds in kind offers you a glimpse into his or her heart. The response you receive could give you the confirmation you want–that your partner, too, is falling in love.