Science Explains Why People Get Back Together After Breaking Up

breaking upRelationships

Ever wonder why people break up and get back together? Well, science says there really is no surprise because half the couples breaking up do end up giving their relationship another go. Take a look at some explanations based on science that point out why couples who supposedly have sworn off each other get back together.

Here Are 9 Reasons Why People Break up and Get Back Together

“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.” – Domenico Cieri

1. They were unsure about why they were breaking up in the first place.

Researchers at the Kansas State University discovered in a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships that at least 50 percent of couples are usually ambivalent about the breakup in the first place. They might have doubted calling it quits. Or they might have made a mistake by breaking up a relationship for shallow reasons.  Thus, getting back together, in this case, would by fairly easy since there was no real harm or trauma in the relationship.

2. They didn’t really stop hooking up.

Couples who have ended their relationship but still continue to see each other for a hookup aren’t really over each other. Experts from Bowling Green State University and the University of Wisconsin found it’s harder for individuals to separate for good if they are still physically attracted to each other. Apparently, each time ex-partners get together, their bodies release oxytocin hormones. These hormones make them feel attached and interlinked, hence renewing the relationship becomes inevitable.

3. They think the way they communicate with each other has improved.

Communication is important in any relationship, as it helps couples relate to each other. Communication is also the tool couples use to compromise with each other when there are issues that bother them. Breakups happen when there’s a breakdown in the communication. But when two people begin talking again without friction and tension after they’ve been apart for a while, they could find it easier to express their feelings. Because they assume that the way they communicate has improved, many couples decide to give each other another chance.

4. They hope their partner changed for the better

Scientists from the University of Utah and the University of Toronto learned in another study that many couples agree to get back together because they believe their partner changed for the better. They are positive about renewing the relationship with someone they think has improved.

5. It’s a shame to throw away all those years of being together.

Speaking of investment, long-term couples who have broken up decide to be back in each other’s arms because they don’t want to start a new relationship with a new person. They don’t want to go through dating again when they have invested so much time with their old partner. For them, it would be a shame to throw away all those years, even if some of those years were filled with conflict and tension.

6. They believe that a familiar intimacy is better with a former partner.

It is hard for people to start all over in the realm of intimacy after breaking up, especially after being intimate with one partner for a long time. Some people might not be willing to go through the motions again with a new person. They think that it’s a good idea to get back together with a former partner because of that familiar intimacy.

7. They are not open to change.

Psychologists at the Stanford University stated that there are people who struggle after a breakup because they aren’t open to change. Even if all signs indicate that they were in a relationship with the wrong person, they still want to slide back into the love affair. They may hope to try again because the prospect of change is much more nerve-wracking.

difficult breakup

8. They still haven’t dealt with the breakup properly.

Researchers from the Northwestern University learned that people who haven’t properly dealt with the breakup could be easily tempted to get back together with an ex after breaking up. If they’ve been trying to bury the pain instead of acknowledging it, they could find themselves back in the arms of their former lover. Unfortunately, according to experts from the University of Arizona, these people have yet to develop a strong sense of self. They do not yet know who they are and what they want from life as an individual. This can happen even among older and supposedly more mature people because self-discovery is a never-ending process.

9. They don’t want to be alone.

Sometimes, the thought of being alone pushes people to get back with an ex. However, this choice doesn’t have to do with the way they feel about their partner. Rather, it’s about their feelings of vulnerability, according to life coach Kali Rogers.

Final thoughts

So, you see there are many reasons why people breakup and get back together. Such couples may discover that love can be lovelier the second time around. For this to happen, couples need to stay positive. They must also work harder to make their relationships stronger. Otherwise, the same issues they disagreed about in the past may return and bring down their relationship once more.

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