We often think that loving someone sounds easy. After all, romantic couples on TV make it look so effortless. Yet, sometimes it’s a matter of training yourself to love your partner in a variety of different ways. Especially in a long-term relationship, like marriage, we tend to take romance for granted and stop showing the other person how much we love them. Unfortunately, this can easily lead to a breakdown in your relationship further down the line.

It’s easy for romance to get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Especially when you have a lot of responsibilities (parenthood, for instance), you can sometimes feel like your partner has become your roommate more than your soulmate. But fear not, there’s a solution to every issue if you approach it from a point of view of self-discipline and positive thinking. Here are some ways to show how much you love your partner if you want to return the spark in your relationship.

Here Are 7 Ways to Bring Love Back to Your Relationship

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu

1. Bring the pet names back.

Have you noticed that the romance seems to fizzle out when “honey” and “sweetheart” turn into “hey” and your partner’s name? As much as you might not like those pet names, there’s something very intrinsically loving about using special, unique names. It’s like a nickname reserved just for your loved one and no one else. If you’re not a fan of the typical “baby” or “honey,” try and come up with some unique ones of your own. It will bring more curiosity into your relationship and help you regain your positive outlook of your partner.

2. Don’t think they owe you something.

It’s human nature to be at least a little bit selfish, and to look for reimbursement when you do something nice for someone. Don’t do that with your partner. When you cook a nice dinner, cook it because you love your partner, not because you’re expecting them to do the dishes. There’s really no worse feeling in the world than thinking that you owe someone something, so don’t do that to them, because they will know. Instead, follow your gut and only do good things because you actually want to do them.

3. Spice it up in the bedroom.

Of course, intimacy isn’t everything. Everyone knows that the foundations of a good relationship are much stronger than just intimacy; however, having a good time in bed doesn’t hurt. Intimacy is the best way to communicate with your partner without using words, to convince them that you love them and that everything is okay. So, take initiative – bring some more romance into the bedroom. Maybe light some candles or play soft music to get into the mood. And most importantly, initiate! If you always leave it to your partner to start off, they’ll inevitably feel like you don’t want to do it. So, try it every now and again and take initiative!

4. Don’t ignore date nights.

If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you might think that you don’t need date nights anymore. That’s wrong – researchers have actually found that if you spend time together with no interruptions at least once a week, you’ll feel more satisfied in every aspect of your life. It doesn’t have to be a massive commitment but try to make some time just for the two of you, where you don’t have to think of anything else but how in love you are. If it would make it easier, put a note in your calendars, the way you would schedule every other appointment. Whether or not you need the reminder, it’s always beneficial to spend some alone time together.

5. Leave the past behind.

Don’t be the kind of partner who holds a grudge or gets too high-strung about the other people that have been in your significant other’s life. When you love your partner, you know that they’re here with you now, and that’s all that matters. But it’s not just their past you need to leave behind; it’s yours too. You might be scared of falling in love because of being hurt before. You might not feel like you could trust anyone again. But the more you realize your past doesn’t define you, the easier it will be for you to feel love again.

negative feelings

6. Avoid projecting your fears.

This is a part of letting your past go, but even if you manage to do that, your fears of abandonment may well linger. Stop telling yourself that they don’t love you, or that they’re cheating on you, and stop overthinking their every move. It doesn’t mean you’re making yourself blind to toxic behaviors, but rather you’re protecting your relationship from unnecessary fears and anxieties. The sooner you realize that those fears have no basis in reality, the easier it will be for you to show how much you love your partner. Besides, fear is very counterproductive to affection, so the sooner you let it go, the better your life together will become.

7. Watch and listen.

You know your partner best. You know what makes them happy and what puts a smile on their face. When the signs start coming through that your partner is feeling emotionally unfulfilled in your relationship, know how to recognize those signs and tackle them as soon as you can. Those can be signs like mood swings, unwillingness to spend time together, or being distant. You will have to address these straightaway; the best way to do that is with open communication. Always ask your partner how they’re feeling and listen to their answer – this is your best strategy.

Final thoughts

Being in a relationship can be hard work, despite what people may tell you. It’s not all diamonds and pearls; but when you know how good it can be, you can always make it work. Train your brain to think positively and show how much you love your partner in any way you can. Soon enough, you’ll feel the fulfillment that you’ve been craving since your problems began. It is possible to train yourself back into loving your partner after passion has receded – and there’s nothing better than rediscovering those feelings.