Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

6 Signs Someone Is About to Leave The One They Love

In this day and age, we all know that marriage isn’t always the beginning of a long life together.

It’s important that both the husband and wife worked together to satisfy the needs and feelings of each other. Too much conflict in a marriage is one of the most common reasons men walk away from failing relationships. When couples are caught in cycles of criticism and defensiveness, this erodes their ability to feel safe, secure, and love,” says marriage counsellor Clinton Power.

Therefore, sometimes, marriages end. This isn’t a fun thing to think about, but the end of a marriage can sometimes be the best thing for both parties involved. Marriages don’t fall apart without warning, however. There are signs that people want to make sure they don’t miss when it comes to the potential end of a marriage. But why are people ending their marriages? What causes marriages to fall apart? Here are the main reasons that marriage falls apart and leads to divorce.

Here Are 6 Signs That Predict Failed Marriages You Should Never Ignore

“The wrong person isn’t breaking their back to make you happy. So, stop breaking your back for them.” – Sonya Parker

1. Unresolved conflict in the marriage

When men and women cannot resolve their conflict, it becomes a problem within the marriage. This can lead to all kinds of issues, while being a major issue in and of itself. Author Marcia Naomi Berger says, “Simply put, it is not the presence of conflict that stresses the relationship; it is the manner in which the couple responds. Positive, respectful communication about differences helps keep a marriage thriving.

Long-term and unresolved conflict can lead to cycles of defensiveness and a breakdown in communication. This can also make it hard for both men and women in the relationship to feel safe, secure and loved. When these things fall apart, the marriage falls apart as well. Being able to repair emotional conflict and communicate will make it less likely that conflict remains unresolved, causing rifts in the relationship.

2. Living parallel lives

What does this mean exactly? When you become a marriage and partnership, you’re taking two lives and creating one. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have your own life outside of your spouse, but simply that you now have a life together. When partners start to live parallel lives, it means that they’re drifting apart and not sharing their lives together. This can cause the intimacy and partnership in the marriage to fall apart. Working on keeping your friendship and intimate relationship with your partner strong will keep the relationship from falling apart and leading to divorce.

3. Sexual betrayal

Cheating is something that tears apart relationships and breaks down families. It’s something that happens more often than we like to believe, and it can be one of the main reasons that marriages fall apart. The betrayal of a loved one, especially sexually, can cause a drop in self-esteem, trust, and communication. Sexual betrayal doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship, however. Couples can, and often do, heal from the betrayal.

Many people think that affairs signal the end of a marriage. This is simply not true. Although healing from infidelity is a challenging endeavor, most marriages not only survive, but they can actually grow from the experience. This is not to say that affairs are good for marriages — they aren’t. Affairs are very, very destructive because the bond of trust has been broken,” says author and TEDx speaker Michele Weiner-Davis.

Remember, it takes a lot of work, and owning up for accountability. Couples therapy can really help put sexual betrayal in the past and heal a marriage.

inspirational quote

4. Feeling underappreciated

It seems almost normal in relationships that women work, take care of the house, and take care of the children. This workload can often lead to women feeling like they’re extremely underappreciated in the relationship, which can lead to contentions. Men can also feel underappreciated as well, especially if they’re the sole breadwinners of the family. Feeling underappreciated is what can cause people to start to look outside of their relationships for people who will appreciate them. This can cause sexual betrayal, which only worsens the relationship.

5. Ignoring the issues in a marriage

Marriages don’t just fall apart if there are any problems between the couple at all. Problems often arise within a relationship, because two people sharing their lives come with a lot different opinions and personalities. But, when there are issues within the marriage that just get ignored, it can cause resentment and contempt.

The opposite problem of having too much conflict in the marriage is not having enough. Couples that avoid conflict are in real danger of their relationship not surviving in the long-term. Women and men that leave these marriages have often been silently fuming inside for many years,” adds Power.

Therefore, avoiding conflict will just make a relationship fall apart quicker. It’s important to address any problems that arise before they get out of hand so that a marriage can stay strong.

6. Lack of emotional and physical connection

When you get married, it doesn’t mean that you no longer have to put effort into being emotionally connected with your significant other. In fact, it’s the beginning of a whole new phase of emotional connection. It is also the beginning of a whole new phase of physical connection. When you get married, being with your partner physically and emotionally is one of the best ways to nurture the relationship. If there’s a lack of connection, the relationship starts to wither. Partners can feel neglected and unloved, which can lead to all kinds of problems.

Final thoughts

Marriages can, and do, end in divorce, but a relationship on the rocks doesn’t have to end. When your marriage is starting to show these signs of falling apart, there are ways to turn it around and make your relationship stronger than ever.

References:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/terry-gaspard-msw-licsw/can-a-marriage-thrive-with-unresolved-conflict_b_9424032.html
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/michele-weinerdavis/10-things-you-must-know-a_b_7247708.html

Powerful Advice From A Dying 27 Year Old

We all know that life is a limited time engagement, but we often don’t treat it as such. Many of us live our lives on autopilot, not really aware of each passing moment. We exist, just waiting for life to get better but not giving thanks for everything we have in the present. We think of dying as some far-off event, but in reality, none of us truly know when our last day on Earth will come.

None of us counts on dying before we turn 30, but for one Australian woman who died of cancer just a couple of weeks ago, that was her reality. Just 27 when she passed away, she wrote a beautifully moving post on Facebook before her death that has since gone viral. The young woman asked friends and family to share it on social media after she died.

Holly Butcher from Grafton, Australia, suffered from a rare form of cancer called Ewing’s sarcoma, which attacks the bones and soft tissues surrounding it.

advice from dying 27 year old woman

Credit: Facebook/Holly Butcher

In her relatively short time on Earth, she learned valuable life lessons that she shared in her Facebook post, such as not getting mad over little things, spending time with the ones you love, and remembering to give more than you get. Great advice!

Powerful Advice From Dying 27 Year Old Woman

Below is an excerpt from her post, which you can read in full here.

“Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through your phone’s screen. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females ????.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you can change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

dying

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo”

Researchers Reveal Alzheimer’s Treatment That Fully Restores Memory Function

Millions of people experiencing the early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) begin to feel their memory slip away slowly. Advanced stages of Alzheimer’s often leave the victim unable to recall the names and faces of their loved ones.

“I know what I want to say; I just can’t find the words.”

Alzheimer’s is a brain disease that causes a slow decline in memory, thinking, and reasoning skills. The toll the condition takes on a person and their loved ones is overwhelming.

“The findings suggest that repeating scanning ultrasound may be a noninvasive method with potential for treating Alzheimer’s disease.” – Gerhard Leinega and Jürgen Götz

Per alz.org, Alzheimer’s disease:

  • Is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States.
  • Somone receives this diagnois every 66 seconds.
  • Claims the life of 1 in 3 senior citizens.
  • Kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined.
  • Affects more than 5 million Americans, which could rise to 16 million by 2050.
  • Costs the U.S. healthcare system nearly $259 billion annually; this amount may eclipse $1.1 trillion by 2050.

A Quick Background on Alzheimer’s

alzheimer's

Alzheimer’s disease was discovered in 1906 by Dr. Alois Alzheimer in his one of his female patients, Auguste Deter. Mrs. Deter “experienced memory loss, paranoid, and psychological changes.” Following her death at age 66, Dr. Alzheimer noted the shrinkage in and around nerve cells in her brain during the autopsy.

Both the psychological and physiological symptoms as described by Dr. Alzheimer, are caused by amyloid plaques and neurofibrillary tangles.

Amyloid is a protein found throughout the body, one that, for reasons unknown, abnormally modifies, producing a form of beta-amyloid which is toxic to neurons within the brain.

Neurofibrillary tangles are masses of defective tau protein – a stabilizing molecule abundant within central nervous system neurons (CNS). Defective tau protein, as is the case in AD patients, can not correctly regulate a critical element of cellular transport structures. This results in the disruption of mineral transfer, such as nutrients, to the brain.

A Ray of Hope

Since Dr. Alzheimer first discovered the disease that bears his name in 1906, few breakthroughs have been made. All of the treatments that have gained widespread use have had some degree of success in relieving symptoms. No drug or therapy, however, has successfully altered the devastating progression of AD.

In 2015, researchers from the Queensland Brain Institute (QBI) at the University of Queensland in Australia developed a novel solution for clearing the brain of neurotoxic amyloid plaques: ultrasound technology.

The focus therapeutic ultrasound technique non-invasively projects super-fast sound waves into brain tissue. The fluctuation of signals allows them to penetrate the blood-brain barrier (BBB), which acts as a layer of protection against bacteria and toxins.

Stimulation of the BBB activates waste removal cells, called microglial cells. In the study, published in the journal Science Translational Medicine, researchers report “fully restoring the memory function of 75 percent of the mice they tested it on, with zero damage to surrounding brain tissue.”

To test cognition, scientists developed three methods: a maze, an object recognition, and an avoidance task. All treated mice “displayed improve performance” in the administered tasks.

“We’re extremely excited by this innovation of treating Alzheimer’s without using drug therapeutics,” said Jürgen Götz, one of the study’s co-authors. “The word ‘breakthrough’ is often misused, but in this case I think this really does fundamentally change our understanding of how to treat this disease, and I foresee a great future for this approach.”

dementia

Focused Ultrasound: Present Day

Any time a new treatment method is discovered, it must undergo numerous clinical trials. Clinical trials are essential in determining not only treatment validity, but treatment safety.

This is where focused ultrasound therapy is today.

Per the Focused Ultrasound Foundation, the therapy is designed as “an early-stage, non-invasive, therapeutic technology with the potential to improve the quality of life and decrease the cost of care for patients with Alzheimer’s disease.”

Focused ultrasound is also incredibly precise, enabling practitioners to target affected brain areas without damaging healthy parts of the brain. Scientists state that focused ultrasound may also complement drug therapy. That’s because the treatment permits a temporary opening of the blood-brain barrier. This is essential for efficient drug delivery in many cases.

The latest official announcement about focused ultrasound comes from the Focused Ultrasound Foundation, published on November 17 of last year:

“A clinical trial that repeatedly opens the BBB in Alzheimer’s patients is underway at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre in Toronto, Canada. The trial aims to use focused ultrasound and microbubbles to temporarily open the BBB in patients with mild to moderate AD. This early-stage study will assess the safety, feasibility, and reversibility of BBB opening as well as the reproducibility of repeated BBB opening in human patients.”

Final Thought: Don’t forget the Omega-3 to Help Prevent Alzheimer’s Disease!

AD is a devastating illness. Of course, we all continue to hope for an effective treatment alternative Still, it is worth noting that supplementing with Omega-3 oil may help prevent the condition.

Per a study published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, “Neuroimaging shows increased blood flow in regions of the brain associated with memory and learning for people with higher omega-3 levels.” Further, omega-3 fatty acids “have shown anti-amyloid, anti-tau and anti-inflammatory actions in the brains of animals.”

The world-renowned neuroscientist, Dr. Daniel Amen, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, says:

“This is very important research because it shows a correlation between lower omega-3 fatty acid levels and reduced brain blood flow to regions important for learning, memory, depression, and dementia.”

Rich food sources of omega-3’s include flaxseed, walnuts, kale, spinach, mackerel, and salmon. Quality Omega-3 supplements are also available at your local nutrition or whole foods grocer.

Science Explains What Happens to Your Body When You Eat Processed Meat

Not so long ago, most of global society received their meat, eggs, milk, poultry, and produce from the hottest spot in town. Their local farmer. Also referred to as “farm to table,” locally sourced food of yesteryear far exceeds that of today – in quality, freshness, and, of course, nutrition.

Before we delve too far into the hazards of processed meat, let’s get a bit more specific about its definition. In the context of this article, the word ‘processed’ includes any modification of fresh meat via salting, sweetening, curing, or cooking at high temperatures.

The Evolution of Eating

It takes just one statistic to prove this point. In the 1950’s, the average obesity rate for U.S. adults was 10 percent. In 2015, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that this number had swollen (no pun intended) to 35 percent.

Now, processed food isn’t entirely to blame; but of all the factors – larger portions, stress, more fast food joints, etc. – it bears more responsibility for the obesity epidemic than anything else. Demand would be nothing without supply, and food processors have supplied one of the worst kinds of foods imaginable.

What is ‘Processed Meat?’

Among processed meats are hot dogs, and most slices of ham, bacon, sausage, and some deli meats.
By definition, food processing – the modification of a natural food product – involves “salting, curing, fermenting, and smoking.”  Some processed meats include added sugars and other chemical components. Contrarily, nonprocessed meats are cut, sliced, and – if need be – frozen for preservation.
No additives or chemicals involved.

what processed meat does to body

Why Are Processed Meats So Bad?

Processed meats are adverse to good health for many reasons, though additives and high-temperature preparation may be the most significant factors.

Studies demonstrate that processed meat consumption correlates with an increased risk for many chronic diseases. These conditions include chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), bowel and stomach cancer, high blood pressure (hypertension), and heart disease.

In a 2008 study published in the journal Nutrition and Cancer, the authors note “the excess risk in the highest category of processed meat-eaters is comprised between 20% and 50% compared with non-eaters.”

Several hypotheses exist seeking to explain the relationship between cancer and processed meat; among them:

– “high-fat diets could promote carcinogenesis (the spread of cancerous cells) via insulin resistance or bile (liver-produced) acids.”

– “cooking meat at a high temperature forms carcinogenic (byproducts).”

– “carcinogenic compounds are formed in meat (internally and naturally).”

After examining the evidence, researchers conclude that all three hypotheses are valid.

Colorectal Cancer

Colorectal cancer, as the name implies, originates in the colon or rectum. As cancers of the colon and rectum produce a similar set of symptoms, the name of the two conditions often appear in cohort.

Colorectal cancer is one of the most common forms of cancer in developed (high-income) countries, such as the United States and the United Kingdom. Per the World Cancer Reseach Fund, it is the third most common cancer worldwide, with nearly 1.5 million new cases diagnosed annually. This number is expected to spike to 2.5 million by the year 2035.

Per the American Cancer Society, colorectal cancer signs and symptoms include:

  • A change in bowel habits, such as diarrhea, constipation, or narrowing of the stool, that lasts for more than a few days
  • A feeling that you need to have a bowel movement that is not relieved by having one
  • Rectal bleeding with bright red blood
  • Blood in the stool, which may make the stool look dark
  • Cramping or abdominal (belly) pain
  • Weakness and fatigue
  • Unintended weight loss

The link between colorectal cancer (among other types) and intake of processed meat are so strong that the World Health Organization (WHO) identifies processed meat as a ‘Group 1 carcinogen’ – a distinction it shares with products such as cigarettes and paint.

Not good.

Recommendations and Final Thoughts

“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” ~ Ann Wigmore

Cutting out processed meat, completely, may be the best course of action; substitution is the second best option. The Australia Cancer Council recommends the latter: swapping processed meats and replacing them with capsicum (red pepper), chicken, eggplant, or mushrooms. Also, replacing processed meats with beans, chicken, eggs, fish, or lentils will provide an excellent protein source minus the health risks.

Vegetarian products, including falafel, tofu, vegetable lasagna, and vegetarian patties may provide a tasty meat substitute as well.

Maintaining a healthy body weight, proper exercise, and consuming more fiber and whole grains substantially lowers the risk of bowel and colorectal cancer, according to Dr. Edward L Giovannucci, professor of nutrition and epidemiology at the Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health.

If the thought of eliminating processed meat from your diet seems extreme or undoable, that’s okay! The old axiom, “Everything in moderation” is probably applicable in this case.

To those who habitually consume processed meat, do yourself (and your health) a big favor by dialing this habit back a little. Furthermore, ponder the idea of eating healthy, natural meats or meat substitutes.

To your continued good health, friends!

5 Adult Behaviors of Someone That Experienced Trauma As A Child

“Childhood trauma can result from anything that makes a child feel helpless and disrupts their sense of safety and security, including: sexual, physical, or verbal abuse; domestic violence; an unstable or unsafe environment; separation from a parent; neglect; bullying; serious illness; or intrusive medical procedures.” ~ Casa Palmera Treatment Center

Devastating.

This one word accurately describes the effects of childhood trauma.

Imagine how trauma – whether acquired by abuse, domestic violence, parental separation, bullying, neglect, illness, or something else – can impact a young person’s sense of self, and the world around him or her.

Trauma and Adulthood

Trauma, of course, doesn’t merely ‘stop’ once someone becomes an adult. The human brain grows fastest between the ages of 0 to 6 years and, often, the trauma is hardwired into the person’s mind.

An individual suffering from trauma experienced during childhood is often unaware how it impacts their life – the reason is that recall of specific childhood events is buried somewhere in the subconscious. Stories abound of patients who, during a therapy session, experience the surfacing of traumatic memories. While a vital step in the recovery process, recalling trauma can be overwhelming.

Here are five behaviors that a victim of childhood trauma displays through adulthood:

how to prevent child trauma

1. Chronic tension

Trauma originating outside the body (e.g., abuse, assault, stress) causes the brain to activate the fight-or-flight response. Stress hormones such as cortisol and norepinephrine flood the body, which prepares to defend itself. During this time, our body automatically tenses up.

The problem is that tension doesn’t always dissipate once the threat is removed or neutralized. In this case, the brain’s neural networks will maintain a state of hypervigilance, acting as if the threat remains and preparing the body accordingly.

2. Social withdrawal

Research demonstrates that childhood trauma contributes to Social Anxiety Disorder or SAD. Parental abuse (e.g., denigrating, insulting, swearing, verbal aggression) and emotional neglect (i.e., not feeling cared for, loved, or nurtured) relate directly to the onset of SAD.

Victims of childhood trauma who demonstrate social withdrawal often do so out of anxiety and fear. SAD patients report feeling “an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others,” and may isolate themselves to prevent this feeling.

3. Persistent panic

Both anxious and non-anxious brains are continually learning. Unlike the anxious person, however, a non-anxious individual can more easily ‘unlearn’ life’s lessons that it encounters. An anxious person has a hard time with this.

To illustrate, imagine two people receiving a poor performance review are scheduled to follow up with their manager.

Unless told otherwise, the non-anxious person is likelier to interpret the meeting as a non-threatening, neutral event. On the other hand, the anxious person may begin to panic about receiving a second negative review.

Worse, their anxious brain may be unable to concentrate on anything other than the meeting. They remain in a constant state of worry unless told otherwise.

4. Fear avoidance

It is human nature to circumvent what we fear, but childhood trauma victims take this avoidance to the extreme. While you may have an innate fear of going to the dentist, you’ll probably still go. Why? Because the benefits of taking action overrule the fear response.

Adults with a history of trauma often allow fear to dictate their actions. Using the dentist visit scenario, they’re more likely to give into the impulse to avoid the dentist; essentially allowing fear to cripple their intentions. The strong urge to avoid things seen as even remotely threatening can seriously impede on quality of life.

5. Underachievement

Researchers from the University of Florida and George Mason University link child trauma to many poor life outcomes.

From the paper:

“For students, the results of academic underachievement reach beyond the educational setting, often leading to deviant behaviors, fewer opportunities in life, and difficulty earning a living wage.”

The research team also found a correlation between socioeconomic status and traumatic stress. People from a disadvantaged background are 65% more likely to have experienced trauma as a child than someone from a middle-class background.

Getting Help for Your Trauma

First and most important, if you know of a child being maltreated or abused, contact your local child protective services office or law enforcement agency. It is never too late to begin healing the wounds of the past. While taking action may be difficult, proper treatment can make a big difference, even if it’s someone lending an ear.

Per Helpguide.org, a reputable organization focusing on mental health, there are four things someone can do immediately to begin the healing their traumatic past.

1. Exercise to ease the impact of trauma

“Trauma disrupts your body’s natural equilibrium, freezing you in a state of hyperarousal and fear. In essence, your nervous system gets ‘stuck.’”

Do some physical activity for thirvy minutes, five days per week. If this seems too much of a commitment, try doing three 10-minute bursts of daily exercise.

2. Don’t isolate yourself

“Connecting to others face to face will help you heal, so make an effort to maintain your relationships and avoid spending too much time alone.”

3. Regulate your nervous system

This one is important, so please pay close attention.

“No matter how agitated, anxious, or out of control you feel, it’s important to know that you can change your arousal system and calm yourself.”

Lower your arousal levels by engaging in mindful breathing or meditation. Take 60 breaths, focusing your attention on each exhale.

trauma

4. Look after your health after trauma

“It’s true: having a healthy body can increase your ability to cope with the stress of trauma.”

The authors recommend getting seven to nine hours of sleep, avoiding alcohol and drugs, eating well-balanced meals, and proactively reducing stress.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
http://childhoodtraumarecovery.com/2013/05/28/childhood-trauma-its-link-to-adult-anxiety/
http://time.com/5047874/anxiety-disorder-symptoms/
https://casapalmera.com/blog/7-ways-to-heal-your-childhood-trauma/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-links-child-trauma-school-performance/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3074005/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/body-sense/201006/ptsd-is-chronic-impairment-the-body-sense-why-we-need-embodied-approaches

5 Hidden Behaviors A Hypocrite Displays Before Revealing Themselves

“A theatrical mask from the 1st century B.C.E. ‘Hypocrite; comes from the Greek word ‘hypokrites,’ which means “an actor.” The word hypocrite ultimately came into English from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player.” ~ Merriam-Webster

People (REALLY) Dislike Hypocrites

Tennessee Williams once said, “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that is also a hypocrite.” Agreed, Mr. Williams. Lying is bad enough, but lying about lying? That’s dishonesty at its most scandalous.

Hypocrites are the people who try their damnedest to convey a sense of virtue, only to reveal that they’re about as deep as a puddle. Unsurprisingly, people despise hypocrisy.

According to a study in Psychological Science, people dislike hypocrites more than those who openly admit to engaging in a behavior that they disapprove of.

“People dislike hypocrites because they unfairly use condemnation to gain reputational benefits and appear virtuous at the expense of those who they are condemning–when these reputational benefits are in fact undeserved,” explains psychological scientist Jillian Jordan of Yale University, a co-author on the study.

Another study by researchers at the University of Southern California showed that hypocrisy is made up of at least one of the following behaviors:

(1) Moral double standards occur when a person is vindictive about a perceived offensive act of someone else; yet, shows little hesitance or guilt in doing the same thing. (Example: cutting someone off in traffic.)

(2) Moral duplicity is generally the one we use to define the act. Moral duplicity is when someone claims to be honorable in their motives, but this is known to be a complete falsehood. (Example: a politician citing neutral views on an issue despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.)

(3) Moral weakness is a type of cognitive disconnect wherein a person’s beliefs or morals are trumped by their lack of self-control; thereby, they engage in the act knowing it to be wrong. (Example: a clergy member taking a vow of celibacy and then engaging in sexual acts.)

‘Pre-emptive Hypocrisy’

Do hypocrites display any peculiar behaviors before revealing themselves as the frauds they are? Yes, as a matter of fact.

Here are five such behaviors:

1. Inconsistencies

Of course, one may be inconsistent without being hypocritical. For example, an unpredictable employee who is capable of great performance may demonstrate inconsistent effort and results. They’re not hypocrites; they’re unreliable.

But hypocrites’ inconsistencies tend to be more calculated, and related more to word and deed – and this behavior gets worse as time passes. They’ll say one thing and do something else more frequently.

2. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

High expectations of others and little to no expectations of themselves. Perhaps this is all that needs to be said. The hypocrite may be articulate and charming in their manipulative efforts, but they’ll never emulate any standard they set forth for others.

Dean Burnett, a writer for The Guardian, uses the British political scene to emphasize this point: “Where do people get off dictating how others should behave, putting restrictions on what they can say and do that they don’t adhere to themselves? It’s wrong and immoral, and shows that they can’t be trusted.” Pretty much.

signs of a hypocrite

3. Playing the victim

Make no mistake: hypocrisy and narcissism are two peas in a pod. “Like peas and carrots,” as Forrest Gump would say. Both groups of people will always try to play the victim. Never is this act so evident as when they’re caught for being in the wrong.

Hypocrites can also be quite crafty. They may use sleight of hand to shake off any blame placed their way. This “Woe is me” attitude wears quite thin after a while.

4. An aura of superiority

A hypocrite’s level of arrogance and superiority is borderline narcissistic. Attempt to engage them as equals, as you’ll likely walk away feeling like a student who has just been reprimanded by the teacher. They’ll (directly or indirectly) mock your intellect, maturity (oh, the irony!), or stability.

Similar to playing the victim, this condescending veil will wear thin as the relationship progresses. After all, when no one likes you, it’s pointless to act superior!

5. They start being nice to “the right people.”

Watch a hypocrite carefully enough, and you’ll inevitably see their two-faced attitude come to the surface. The “important” people, i.e., those with power, will bear the brunt of a hypocrite’s inauthenticity. If those “important people” are smart, they’ll dismiss the charlatan without prejudice.

You see, hypocrites like to believe that they belong to a certain “class,” despite their victim-playing, complaining, and outright lying. The only “class” to which these fraudsters belong is alongside all the other phonies.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Sources:
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/717291/Newsnight-European-Union-BBC-bias-Twitter-Evan-Davis-Heidi-Allen-Reamin-Brexit
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/hypocrite-meaning-origin
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/we-dislike-hypocrites-because-they-deceive-us.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/5-ways-spot-the-hypocrites-in-your-life
https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2016/nov/17/its-only-wrong-when-you-do-it-the-psychology-of-hypocrisy

Doctors Explain How Eating More Fruits And Vegetables Can Improve Mental Health

For years, we’ve listened to the “Don’t forget to eat your fruits and vegetables!” spiel. Intuitively and fundamentally, we understand that fruits and veggies are good for our mental health.

Consuming the right amount of fruits and vegetables isn’t too hard. Eat 1.5 to 2 cups of fruit per day, and two to three cups of vegetables.

Yet, a whopping 88% of Americans fail to get enough fruit. Furthermore, over 90% don’t eat enough vegetables. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). 90% are missing out.

The physical health benefits of fruits and vegetables are well-documented. Individuals who eat an adequate supply of fruits and vegetables have better heart health, greater longevity, and a reduced risk of cancer than those who do not eat enough ‘F&V.’

The physical benefits of eating plenty of F&V should be enough to persuade all of us to eat more. However, the mental health benefits of fruits and vegetables are also numerous.

“These results provide initial proof-of-concept that giving young adults fresh fruit and vegetables to eat can have psychological benefits even over a brief period of time.” ~ Dr. Tamlin Connor

Dr. Tamlin Connor, of the Department of Psychology at the University of Otago in New Zealand, and her colleagues discovered that young adults who ate the recommended amount of F&V for two weeks displayed more flourishing, motivation, and vitality than those who did not eat the recommended amount.

The Study on the Impact of Healthy Foods on Mental Health

Dr. Connor and her colleagues randomly assigned 171 low-F&V consuming adults into one of three groups:

– a ‘diet-as-usual’ group (to compare against.)

– a ‘momentary intervention’ group, wherein each person received a text message reminder to eat more F&V and a voucher to purchase food.

– a fruit and vegetable intervention group in which participants were given two additional daily servings of fresh F&V to consume on top of their normal diet.

Participants rated the following both before and after the trial:

– Daily negative and positive mood.

– Vitality, flourishing, and flourishing behaviors (curiosity, creativity, motivation).

– Anxious and depressive symptoms.

Out of the three groups, only the individuals assigned to the F&V intervention “showed improvements to their psychological well-being with increases in vitality, flourishing, and motivation across the 14-days relative to the other groups.”

The participants received an average of 4 daily servings of fresh fruits and vegetables – namely, apples, carrots, kiwi fruit, and oranges.

The researchers are careful to point out that, while anxiety and depression may be relieved over the long-term by eating more F&V, two weeks is just not enough time. While none of the groups reported significant changes in this area, improvements to mental well-being in related areas may provide a glimpse into the value of supplementing F&V to relieve symptoms.

The team concludes:

“This is the first study to show that providing high-quality FV to young adults can result in short-term improvements in vitality, flourishing, and motivation. Findings provide initial validation of a causal relationship between FV and well-being, suggesting that large-scale intervention studies are warranted.”

A Look at Superfoods That Improve Mental Health

It’s likely that the vitamins and minerals contained within fruits and vegetables account for the improved mental well-being of participants in the above study.

Neuroscientists state that certain vitamins and minerals help the brain produce chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) vital for mental acuity and clarity, learning, memorization, and mood stability.

As with all foods, not every fruit and vegetable is created equal.

There will be days when it’s very hard to sit down for a meal, much less acquire the recommended servings of these nutrient-dense foods.

This is where superfoods come in! You can often can get the nutritional punch from one serving of a superfood than you can with two, uh, “non-super” foods.

The word ‘superfood’ describes food with high nutrient content and associated health benefits.

What Foods Should You Eat?

Here are some fruits and veggies that are superfoods:

– Avocados: 100 grams of fresh avocado contains 12 grams of healthy unsaturated fat. Contrary to asinine low-fat diet advice, monounsaturated fats are critical to health; they lower bad cholesterol levels, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke.

– Blueberries: Blueberries contain a bunch of antioxidants, which are essential for fighting off harmful free radicals. These little blue delights can improve skin health, aid weight loss, boost brainpower, fight cancer, combat aging, and support digestion.

– Broccoli: Broccoli is one of the most nutritionally balanced foods. It has a good amount of dietary fiber, calcium, iron, and potassium. It’s also a good source of vitamins A, C, and K.

– Lemons: Lemons boost our immune system due to their high concentration of vitamin C. In fact, just one lemon meets your recommended daily amount. Lemon also raises good cholesterol levels and is a powerful anti-inflammatory.

– Spinach: Spinach contains vitamins A, and C. It’s also a good source of folate and magnesium – two critical building blocks of the brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin.

– Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are one of the best sources of beta-carotene, which converts into vitamin A in the body. They’re also an excellent source of vitamins A, B6, and C, potassium, and fiber.

4 Hidden Signs of Clogged Arteries (And The Best Foods to Prevent It)

Keeping up with our health can be difficult, especially in this fast-paced world where eating unhealthily is the quickest way to a meal. Unfortunately, unhealthy foods can also pave the way to clogged arteries. You may be thinking that you have perfectly fine health. However, you very well may have clogged arteries without even knowing it.

But what exactly are clogged arteries?

A buildup of a sticky substance, plaque, can form on the inner walls of your arteries. Arterial plaque can reduce blood flow or, in some instances, block it altogether. Clogged arteries significantly increase the likelihood of heart attack, stroke, and even death.”

To start, check out the hidden signs of clogged arteries that you may not even notice, and then see the best foods to start eating to prevent it.

4 Hidden Signs Of Clogged Arteries

arteries

1. Unexpected baldness

Regardless of age, a study of 37,000 men found that baldness on the crown of their head suggested the presence of CHD, whereas a study of 7,000 people (4,000 of which were women) found that moderate to severe baldness increased the risk of death by heart disease in both men and women. You may think that balding is in your family, but it could also be a sign of clogged arteries that lead to heart disease.

You may want to seriously consider your diet and health if you have moderate to severe balding because it may just be your body’s way of telling you that something has got to change.

2. Pain in your calves

Especially while walking, pain in the calves is called “claudication.” Atherosclerosis can cause blockages in your arteries before CHD is detected, especially in people who smoke cigarettes. If you feel pain in your calves when you walk, and there’s no other explanation, such as a lengthy workout the day before, you will want to assess the pain in your leg quickly.

A doctor will measure the blood flow and pressure to determine whether or not you have poor blood circulation. This can help assess heart issues and clogged arteries as early as possible so no other damage occurs.

3. Crease in your earlobe

Do you spend much time thinking about your earlobe? No, I didn’t think so. Other people don’t, either! However, if you have CHD, you may find a crease in your earlobe that goes from your ear canal to the lower portion of your earlobe. Of course, this is all due to the poor blood circulation from your clogged arteries.

According to a clinical professor for medicine and author Joel K. Kahn, MD, “Although some medical professionals have argued that a crease is just a general sign of aging, researchers last year used the most sophisticated CT scan method to measure silent CHD and found that ear crease predicted heart disease even after the authors accounted for other risk factors, such as age and smoking.

If you notice this ear crease, you must visit a doctor for a heart health assessment.

4. Erectile dysfunction

Of course, old age may also be a factor when it comes to erectile dysfunction, But for men who are otherwise at the age where obtaining an erection should be easy, this can be a huge indicator of clogged arteries. If an erection is difficult to achieve or cannot be maintained, it may be a sign that the arteries in the pelvis are clogged. As a result, they’ll have decreased blood flow to the penis. Most men were diagnosed with CHD after 3 to 5 years of the initial erectile dysfunction. So there’s plenty of time to look at it and discover the clogged arteries.

Now, it’s essential to know the signs of a clogged artery so you can get yourself checked out by a doctor. But it’s equally important to know the types of food to eat to help prevent your arteries from getting clogged in the first place.

Here Are 4 Best Foods To Help Prevent Clogged Arteries

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” – Mahatma Gandhi

1. Fresh vegetables

Eating your veggies is very important, and it always has been! There’s a reason that your parents always tried to get you to eat your vegetables. Plant foods are very high in minerals, fiber, and vitamins. Thus, they keep your body healthy and your arteries free of clogs. According to Reader’s Digest, “people who ate 8 or more servings were 30 percent less likely to have a heart attack or stroke than people who consumed 1½ servings or fewer.

2. Herbs and spices

Adding herbs and spices to your meals is one of the easiest and tastiest ways of keeping your body healthy when it comes to blocked arteries. Most herbs and spices are even medicinal for the body, which means that even though they taste delicious and unhealthy, they’re incredibly good for you.

Have you wondered why, though?

Herbs and spices are plant-based, delivering the same protection as herbs and vegetables. When we consume these spices, they also protect the cells in our body from disease.

3. Fish

Certain types of fish are full of omega-3 fatty acids, which are ideal for your heart health. These fatty acids lower heart rhythm disturbances, lower your blood pressure, and even lower inflammation.

Fatty fish such as salmon is full of omega-3 fatty acids that increase heart health. Even a single weekly serving of fish could increase your heart’s functioning. So enjoy a plate of seasoned fish with herbs and spices and a healthy serving of vegetables. Indeed, it is a delicious way to make your whole meal heart-healthy.

4. Leafy greens

Arugula, kale, lettuce, spinach, and beets are all high in nitrate, which they get from the soil. Nitrate transforms into a gas during your digestion, with can help prevent blood coagulation. As a result, it minimizes both heart problems and strokes. Also, “one serving of nutrient-packed leafy greens (like spinach) a day can help reduce your risk of heart disease by 11 percent,” states Shape.com

Therefore, leafy greens are one of the best ways to unclog arteries.

arteries

Final thoughts on clogged arteries

Watching out for your health can be difficult. However, learning the right signs to look for and the right foods to eat can make being heart-healthy both easy and delicious. Avoiding clogged arteries and coronary heart disease is much better than dealing with either of those things down the line. Keep an eye out for these symptoms. Also, start switching your diet over to foods that can prevent clogged arteries in the first place.

5 Signs Someone Is Falling In Love With You

Can you tell when someone is falling in love with you? Many people think they can, but the signs aren’t always as straightforward as people like to believe. While many people assume that the obvious, grand gestures of falling in love are all they need to be able to pinpoint it. But people aren’t always that predictable!

There are plenty of subtle signs that someone you know is falling in love with you, or that your casual partner is in it for the long haul. It’s always best to know when someone you’re with falls in love with you because you never know what the future might hold!

Here Are 5 Signs Someone’s Falling In Love With You (That You May Not Realize)

“You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

1. Always has an excuse to talk to you

No matter the time or the situation, if someone is in love with you, they will always have time to talk to you. You could call them up at three in the morning. They’ll be available to listen. Someone falling in love with you definitely won’t get enough of having long talks or even short conversations.

“Firstly, if a guy has gone out of his way to talk to you, it must be for a reason, so why shouldn’t that reason be that he wants to get to know you better? Secondly, even when a guy seems to be talking nonsense, it is still a sign that he is interested and is trying his best to keep the conversation going,” says relationship expert Zara Hairston.

You may find that they’re always finding excuses to chat, even if it just means dropping by for a few minutes or sending a text message.

falling in love meme

2. Their face lights up when they see you

When you walk into a room, they can be doing anything at all – but the moment they see you, their attention is all on you, and their face looks like a lit house on Christmas. They look like they were waiting for you to walk into the room. If you catch each other by chance on the street, their excitement will be obvious, since they weren’t expecting to see you. This is usually so obvious that everyone else in the room has noticed, and they try not to smile.

3. They’re always giving you gifts

These gifts don’t have to be extravagant or even expensive. But the point is that they’re always finding reasons to give you little gifts that will remind you of them. Whether it’s a book they think you’ll like, a to-go cup of your favorite coffee from the cafe, or even a cool rock they found outside (…yes, really!).

“If he’s given you a nice piece of jewelry then he’s seriously committed to your relationship. Men just don’t give the good stuff unless you mean something special,” says relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr.

Little gifts will be their way of making you happy, seeing you smile, and ensuring that you’re always thinking of them like they’re always thinking of you.

4. They’re always helpful

Do you need help moving your apartment? Do you need a ride to the store? Are you lost on this week’s work project? A person falling in love with you will always be there to help you. You probably know you can always visit them when you need something. They’re always willing to help you. They always seem to be the first person to offer you their assistance. Sure, they might just be super helpful. But they’re always willing to spend all their free time with you and ensure you’re never inconvenienced.

5. They’re genuinely interested in you

You probably have a secret, nerdy hobby that no one else is interested in. You’ve probably learned to keep it to yourself and enjoy it alone. However, when that particular person finds out about it, chances are they’re genuinely interested in what you like about it and want to experience it with you.

“If a guy is interested in you, he’ll?take the time to get to know you. He’ll not only ask about your family, work, hobbies, and interests, but he will listen to your answers. For example, he’ll remember your favorite food or hobbies and make a date involving your interests to show you that he cares in a personal way,” add relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher.

When someone falls in love with you, a telltale sign is that they’re genuinely interested in even the more boring stories you have to tell. They’re always listening and eager to ensure you’re listened to. They may even seem to get into what you’re saying, even if it’s boring.

love quote

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs of Love

Falling in love can be an exhilarating experience. However, being on the other side can often be confusing since we’re constantly second-guessing what someone else’s actions mean. However, you’ll probably see subtler signs rather than grand gestures when someone falls in love with you.

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