Unfortunately, there’s no rule book for women and men falling in love. You may have stolen his heart before he knows you. Honest discussions can clear the air and strengthen your relationship.
Do you often feel frustrated that your significant other doesn’t know you? What points would you like to make at the beginning that can enhance your relationship?
Note: Because behavioral markers of men and women often differ, this article fully explores the specific female behaviors that males don’t always “get” until after they fall in love. However, ladies, rest assured, a companion article regarding the secrets of “men” is also available. The behaviors here certainly do not apply to “every” woman, but psychology and studies note them as commonly shared traits among most women.
Secrets Men Realize These Twelve Secrets About Women After They Fall in Love
You never really know someone until you’ve been with them for a while. Here are twelve secrets he probably didn’t realize until after he fell in love.
1. Men Might Not Realize How Ladies Crave Romance
Romance and intimacy are undoubtedly linked, but they aren’t synonyms. While women enjoy their lover’s intimate touch, it’s not all they crave. They want the relationship to be fresh and lasting.
Gals must still be surprised with a bouquet and a little love note saying “just because.” Those whispered pillow talks in the night mean the world to you. Your relationship will never outgrow holding hands, sharing jokes, taking long walks, or listening to that special song.
2. She Loves to Talk About the Relationship
Men generally shy away from discussions that are too emotional. They are OK with chatting if the topic is light. Your partner may feel apprehensive when he hears that his girlfriend wants to discuss the relationship.
He may immediately think that something is wrong, and he will blame himself. While ladies feel comfortable discussing their feelings, they may not feel as free to disclose them. He may try to change the subject or act like he didn’t hear anything.
Many women feel closer to their partners when they talk about their relationship. It doesn’t even have to be something negative. When you fall in love, it’s a journey that you want to share verbally and emotionally.
3. Men Learn How Ladies Need Affirmations of Love
People who fall in love prove it by their actions, not just words. However, you want to hear him tell you how much he loves you. He may do countless things to show affection, but your heart yearns to hear the words “I love you.”
According to an article by Berkeley Well-Being Institute, love and acceptance are part of basic human needs. Everyone must be loved and accepted by their partner, family, and friends. It’s the same necessity for women and men.
Ladies need to let him know how they feel, as words of affection are essential. Gals need their men to say they’re beautiful, worthy, and more than enough. It’s also enduring when he leaves little love notes for you to find.
4. She Doesn’t Have a Romance Timeline
Most women aren’t privy to guys’ “locker room” talk, but you may have a few notions. High school boys often debate whether to kiss their girlfriend on the first or second date. They have notoriously compared intimacy to a baseball game, for example, first base, second base, etc.
You’re not in high school anymore, and your romance isn’t fixed on a timeline. Your intimacy’s progression depends on whether you feel the time is right. If you feel like getting a farewell kiss on the first date, it’s your prerogative.
5. She Likes Chivalry in Their Men (even if they don’t say it out loud)
Good manners and polite consideration never go out of style. When a man shows chivalry correctly, it’s never condescending or inappropriate. Women want their mates to respect them as much today as they did when they first met.
It’s still a loving gesture for a guy to open the car door or hold a door open for his lady. Pulling out her chair, allowing her to go first, and picking her up at the door aren’t outdated gestures. When you fall in love, you want to be even more considerate of each other.
6. She Needs Him to Listen More
One of the essential parts of a relationship is communication, says an article by the Victoria State Government. Neither of you is a mind reader, and a couple can’t assume what the other thinks or feels. Effective communication depends on being a good listener.
Does your significant other truly listen to you, or does he hear and drown out your voice? Women need a partner who takes time to listen to their thoughts and feelings. Active listening includes receptive body language, mirroring emotion, and listening without interruption.
It’s also helpful when they pause and reflect on what you’ve said. They can restate it in their own words for clarification. Actively listening shows how they respect your opinion and can go a long way to avoid misunderstandings.
7. Women Do Not Need Men to be Perfect
Girls dream of falling in love with a handsome prince on a magnificent horse. He would place a glass slipper on the foot of the lady he was supposed to be with forever, and then he would whisk her away to a castle. Living happily ever after for the prince and princess is just a fairytale.
Although some women get stuck in that childhood fantasy, you may be one of the many who don’t buy into it. You may also realize that relationships in soap operas and romance movies aren’t based on reality. It’s primarily cheesy dialogue, lights, makeup, and camera tricks.
Unfortunately, some men believe they must live up to these unrealistic standards. Let your partner know that you aren’t perfect and don’t expect him to be. You know all his quirks, shortcomings, and imperfections, but you love him anyway.
8. She Doesn’t Want Him to Fix Everything
It’s part of the male psyche to be a fixer. He wants to fix everything when things go wrong, and you feel like you’re falling to pieces. He needs to realize that you don’t want him to be in repair mode all the time.
Sure, it’s great when your lover can fix that noise in your car or put together your new bookshelf. Sometimes, you have issues you want to discuss with him, but you don’t necessarily want him to fix them. When he actively listens to you and shows empathy, it’s just what his lady needs.
9. She Wants a Smart Dresser
Gals may not be as visually-oriented as men, but they’re still attracted to a guy who knows how to dress. Even an ordinary fellow looks fantastic in clothes that are stylish and fit well.
It’s a shame that as soon as some guys get comfortable in a relationship, their fashion sense goes south. If he respects you and himself, he will want to look his best for you. There’s a time for strap t-shirts, worn-out pants, or pajama bottoms, but it’s not when you’re on a date.
10. Ladies Love the Softer Side of Men
St. Francis De Sales is credited for saying that nothing is more potent than gentleness nor as gentle as true strength. Of course, women want a mate who’s strong and protective. However, you’re also strongly attractive when he trusts you enough to show his tender side.
He may jump, yell, and high-five his buddies when watching the big game. Ladies love when men shed a few tears in a touching moment of a movie, as it shows their sensitive side. These guys are comfortable enough in their masculinity to show their emotions.
11. She Still Wants Her Own Identity
Often, couples declare that they “complete” one another. Even traditional marriage vows refer to the biblical reference of two becoming one flesh. Although it’s a spiritual metaphor, many couples try to give it a literal meaning.
First, you are a complete person in and of yourself and always have been. You and your mate complement, not complete, each other. If you lose yourself in the relationship, it probably will become toxic and won’t last.
You need time for self-care and self-improvement on your own. While it’s gratifying to do things as a couple, you must also explore your interests. When you both respect each other’s individuality, it can make your bond even more robust.
12. He Needs a Code Book to Decipher What a Lady Means
Women and men often speak their language. They may say something that has an entirely different meaning than the statement’s denotation. Sometimes, your partner must connect with you on a closer level to discern the meaning.
For example, when a lady says something doesn’t matter, it often means that something is eating them alive inside. He won’t walk away if he asks you what’s wrong and you say everything is fine. He’ll read deeper into your heart and soul and want to talk to you about it.
It’s a wise mate who doesn’t fall for the quintessential setup questions like ‘Does this dress make me look fat?’ These queries are often a way of asking him for positive affirmation. He should be able to offer sincere compliments without false flattery.
Final Thoughts on How Men Don’t Fully Understand Women Until They Fall in Love
For thousands of years, poets have compared women with the lovely mysteries of the moon. You have the prerogative to change your mind, and he may never completely understand you. The good news is that his love and devotion are the Rosetta stone that he needs for a beautiful, lasting relationship.