How to Keep Love Alive Without Being Desperate

How to Keep Love Alive Without Being Desperate

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Many people compare romantic love to a blazing fire. No matter how powerful the flames, they will dwindle to embers without air and firewood. Likewise, it takes hard work and commitment to keep love alive.

The relationship that’s so powerful today can be nothing in five years from now, which is why you must put some effort into keeping things blazing.

Sixteen Ways To Keep Love Alive for the Long Haul

Are you and your lover sitting in the smoke of a stagnant relationship? It’s never too late to fan the flames and rekindle your devotion. Here are 16 ways to keep your love buzzing for a lifetime.

1. Appreciate Each Other

The downfall to many beautiful relationships is when couples take each other for granted. If you want to keep your love alive, you must show gratitude to your partner every day. When was the last time you told your mate how much they mean to you?

Show them gratitude for the many things they do for you. Thank your partner sincerely, and be specific about why you love them so much. One of the best ways to be grateful is to return the kindness and support them.

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2. Pay Attention

As a couple, you both deserve to have the other be fully present with each other. It’s essential to hear somebody truly and to be an active listener. When you’re having a conversation, focus on what they’re saying instead of reading the newspaper or browsing social media.

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Being present means that you’re listening with an open heart and mind and mirror their emotions. In an article published by Psychology Today, Dr. Karyn Hall explains that validating your partner can support them and make your relationship stronger. Active listening, empathy, and validation are the fuel that keeps love alive.

3. Always be Polite

Familiarity doesn’t have to breed contempt if you respect each other and mind your manners. During the blossoming of your relationship, you tried your best to be courteous and make them feel special. It’s easy to relax your manners after you’ve been together for a while.

However, manners never expire and are essential if you want to keep things alive. Don’t forget the basics of please, thank you, and you’re welcome. Guys, your sweetheart still likes to have the doors opened for her and be treated like a lady.

4. Share Responsibilities

A healthy relationship requires you both to put forth the effort and to share responsibilities equally. In today’s society, both partners usually work outside of the home. Be fair to each other and split up the household chores and other duties.

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If one partner is shouldering more than their fair share, it only causes resentment. Have a conversation about dividing the chores to keep your relationship balanced. Some couples find it helpful to post to-do lists, so each partner knows what needs to be done and by when.

5. Make Your Lover Feel Special

There’s never a point in your relationship when your mate doesn’t need to feel special. Offer genuine compliments every day and tell them how beautiful or handsome they are. Keep your love alive and tell them that you still get butterflies in your stomach when you’re together.

6. Keep Dating One Another

Remember how excited you were when you went on your first date together? If you want to fan the flames of your romance, make time together a priority. Designate an evening each week as a date night.

Always plan and make reservations at their favorite restaurant, and be sure to get a sitter for the kids. If you’re going out, wear your best outfit and dine and dance in style. It’s also fun to have the house to yourselves and cuddle on the couch for a good movie and popcorn.

7. Respect Your Differences

As much as you love each other, you’re still individuals with different tastes and opinions. It’s one of the beautiful aspects that make opposites attract. While it’s normal to butt heads occasionally, a dedicated couple respects their differences.

Allow each other the right to express your thoughts and feelings. While you may not share them, you learn to make compromises. You both know to be more flexible and empathetic.

8. Laugh Together to Keep Love Alive

In his article published by Psypost, Eric W. Dolan cites research on humor and relationships from the University of Kansas. Dolan interviewed the head of the study, Dr. Jeffrey Hall. After examining data from 15,177 participants, Hall found promising evidence that couples who appreciate humor tend to have more satisfying relationships.

Not only is it essential to have a good sense of humor, but you keep your love alive by creating laughter together. Share inside jokes, harmless teasing, and sit back and laugh at yourselves. Laughing releases endorphins that ease stress and bring you closer together.

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9. Be Spontaneous

Nothing puts a damper on a relationship like staying in a rut. You put your relationship on autopilot and never change your restaurants or go anywhere different. Plus, your romance becomes bland, boring, and predictable.

Keep your love alive by keeping your partner guessing. Surprise them with a heartfelt gift that lets them know you’re thinking of them. Visit different restaurants and take a weekend vacation to a new destination. Have them wondering what’s going to happen next.

10. Do Something Fun Together

Speaking of spontaneous, have you ever wanted to learn a new skill or hobby? Why not do it together? Discuss some ideas and decide to do something fun that will enrich both your lives.

Consider learning a foreign language so that you can take that dream vacation. Try a relaxing and enjoyable hobby like art, crafts, or sports. You needn’t become a professional or spend a fortune to have a good time.

11. Don’t Hold Grudges

To have a fulfilling and lasting relationship, you can’t keep score. Resist the urge to preserve every slight and mistake your lover has ever made. Using this list as an arsenal against them can eventually destroy your relationship.

While you can’t forget an offense, your love helps you to forgive. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it frees you from bitterness and allows you to go on with life. If you’re the transgressor, apologize sincerely, make amends, and try not to repeat the mistakes.

12. Be a Sanctuary

As a couple, you can offer each other something that nobody else can. You are your lover’s safe place where they can be vulnerable without fear or judgment. Their loving embrace is a virtual shelter where you find peace, encouragement, and solace from the world.

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Since you find validation and security in each other’s company, it’s normal to vent your frustrations. However, take care that you don’t take your aggravations out on each other. If you’ve been a little snappy, apologize and find forgiveness in your sacred place.

13. Be a Team

It takes two people to make a relationship work. It becomes unbalanced if you don’t share credit where it’s due. A lasting relationship has no room for big egos and selfish motives.

Just like with any successful team, you have your partners back and be their best cheerleaders. It builds trust and equality that’s essential for a lasting relationship. Teamwork also cultivates trust, mutual respect, and shared ethical behaviors.

14. Spend Some Alone Time

It may sound counterintuitive to keep your love alive by spending some time alone. However, you both need a little break to recharge and reconnect with yourself. Try to devote a part of your day to journaling, meditating, or praying in your own sacred space.

Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you’ve lost your individuality. It’s just as vital for you to explore a few of your interests and hobbies. In a trusting relationship, occasional solitude brings you closer together.

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15. Be Mindful of Appearances

As an individual, you still deserve to have a fun night with your friends. Have a ladies’ night out, watch a game, or play poker with your buddies. When you and your mate have enough quality time together, you are happy to let each other have some away time.

However, sharing time with old friends doesn’t mean taking a break from your commitments. If you do have friends of the opposite gender, they can be friends with both of you. Never allow yourself to get in a situation that would jeopardize your relationship.

16. Create Traditions

What were some of the beautiful memories you had as a child? Most of these include holidays, special occasions, and being together with your family. You also observed traditions that have been passed down throughout generations.

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It’s essential to remember your customs and traditions and share them. Keep your love alive by creating some of your traditions. Not only will it bring you closer together, but you’ll be preserving your customs and pride for your children.

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Final Thoughts on How to Keep Love Alive

The relationship with your sweetheart is a living entity that needs to be cultivated like a garden. By following these and other suggestions, your love can blossom beyond your expectations. It’s a love that you can celebrate now and in the years to come.

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Deborah is a full-time editor, blogger, and children's book author. Her book series helps children with anxiety overcome the challenges in everyday life using kindness and courage. She holds a Bachelor's of Science degree in Secondary Education English and a Spanish minor from the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania. When she's not working on one of her many writing projects, you will find Deborah working in her herb garden. She is currently completing her master herbalist certification and can't wait to share the knowledge.

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