Most crushes begin with physical attraction. While this will sustain you initially, it takes much more than looks to keep you together for the long haul. There must be an emotional attraction that helps bridge the gap when the good looks and beauty fade away. But women who choose emotionally intelligent men stay attracted to their partners.


A couple grows emotionally to progress their relationship. While mutual interest and a hot body get things started, they certainly won’t keep the fires burning after a while. What do women look for in emotionally intelligent men, and how does this factor into one’s decision to enter a long-term relationship?

Why Emotionally Intelligent Men Are the Most Attractive

It would be nice if there were a magic formula that figured the emotional compatibility of a couple, but alas, there’s no such thing. So, you need to follow signs that a man is emotionally intelligent before you commit. Here are a few things to consider.

emotionally intelligent men

1. He Honors His Word

When someone tells you they’re going to do something, you expect it to be the way they say. Emotionally intelligent men who keep their promises are a man of their word. In fact, you learn to trust them so much that when they tell you something, you can take it to the bank.

In the writings of Steven R. Covey’s book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People®, he talks about the importance of putting things into the bank of trust. Each time a man follows through, it adds to this account. However, each time he lets you down, it reduces the balance. Those with a higher bank account balance are more attractive than overdrawn and constantly in the red.

2. Emotionally Intelligent Men Exhibit Unwavering Confidence

Having limiting beliefs can hold you back in life. When a man struggles with self-confidence, their body language will show it. However, emotionally intelligent men stand up straight and keep their heads high.

They will look you right in the eye when speaking, and they are comfortable in their skin. Without attraction, curiosity, and chemistry, you would end up in the friendzone. However, this guy knows how to show his lady just what he wants and is not afraid to go after it.

3. He Has No Qualms About Telling You No

Did you know that as a human, you crave boundaries? Perhaps it’s why so many people are attracted to those that play hard to get. Women like it when a guy is challenging and doesn’t give them everything they want.

While bending over backward to make you happy is excellent for relationships, the pleasing tendencies soon get old. Emotionally intelligent people don’t care to tell you no, and you don’t mind that he’s in control and sets limits for himself.

4. When You’re with Them, the Phone Is Out of Sight

Is there anything more annoying than a phone that’s buzzing and ringing during dinner? How can you have a conversation when someone is constantly on their phone. While the World Wide Web is necessary, it’s nice to have a guy that knows when to turn it off.

Women love emotionally intelligent guys because they will turn off their phones and be concerned with them while spending time together.

5. He Remembers the Smallest Details About You

Women are great at remembering the little details, but it’s even more attractive when a man has this keen eye. If they remember the way you smell, how your hair was fixed, or the clothes you’re wearing, they’re very observant. A man who pays attention to all these small things is in touch with their emotional side.

6. Emotionally Intelligent Men Will Give You the Space You Need

No one wants a partner who is clingy and needy all the time. A woman likes someone who will give her the space she needs when she needs it. When a man is confident enough within himself to let you be alone and not worry whether you’re cheating, it signals self-security.

7. He’s a Tender Defender

You’re probably wondering what the term tender defender means. A strong man who is also in touch with his gentle side is someone you want to keep. They’re not afraid of being caring and nurturing to those closest to them, but they will also step into a leadership or defensive role if they need to.

8. Emotionally Intelligent Men Do Not Engage in Gossip

This guy’s sensitivities let him know that listening to other people’s problems is okay, but he would never dream of repeating them. Plus, he isn’t engaging in gossip as he doesn’t have time for this foolishness. Additionally, there’s an aura of suspicion and distrust with the man who eagerly joins in the bashing of others.

9. His Style is Impeccable

A guy who knows how to dress is certainly eye candy, but it goes beyond their clothes. A man who has style doesn’t forget clean fingernails, quaffed facial hair, and staying fit. They’ve got it together both physically and emotionally.

According to an article by Inspire, you will know a person’s inner beauty by looking at the outside. True beauty radiates from the inside out as it shines from the heart. A man who cares enough to make sure his exterior is put together probably has the inside in good shape too.

10. Emotionally Intelligent Men Exhibit Patience

Life is flawed, and there’s not a perfect person alive. Still, the emotionally intelligent man knows that he must be patient and longsuffering when it comes to his woman. He must also learn to read between the lines when hormonal surges take over her sensitivity, and his lady doesn’t make good sense.

emotionally intelligent men

11. He Values Confidentiality

You want a man to share your deepest and darkest secrets with, and you expect them to keep these secrets to themselves. If a man should tell your stories, he’s betraying your trust and not in touch with his emotional side. To make a relationship work, you must be able to respect not only the privacy of one another but also those secrets you keep.

12. He’s Congruent with Thoughts, Words, and Actions

Emotionally intelligent men say what they mean and mean what they say. They’re honest, a good listener, and sensitive enough to have those tough conversations. Additionally, he lets his intentions be known.

13. He’s Great at Communication

Men don’t always know what’s happening inside that head of yours, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about your thoughts or feelings. Communication is one of the foundational building stones of a relationship, and having a good listener is essential. While the man has emotional intelligence, he needs you to tell him what you want and not assume anything.

14. Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Not Afraid to Speak Their Minds

Men who can speak their minds regardless of what the world thinks are endearing. They’re not trying to win the approval of others, but they’re being true to themselves. Women find this quality in a man highly desirable.

15. He’s On-Time to Everything

Women don’t just want a guy to show up, but they want them to be on time too. Your time is just as important as his, and it’s attractive when a guy is emotionally considered enough not to leave you waiting.

16. He Has an Edge

Most ladies like their men to have a bit of an edge to them. It means that they have a fun side and know how to be spontaneous, but they also have something unique that they do that’s downright impressive.

They may speak many languages, volunteer at a homeless shelter, play music, or make their wine. These little qualities make them unique and stand out from the crowd.

17. He Displays Positive Leadership Skills

They’re a natural leader who shows their compassion and strength with others. A lady likes a man to be emotionally in touch enough to lead her by the hand and the heart. This guy doesn’t use tactics like threats or controlling her, but he has a soft masculine energy that’s irresistible.

18. He’s Vulnerable with You

You have hurt, and he has hurt from the past. However, he’s not afraid to open up his sensitivities and be vulnerable with you. He knows that opening up to you will only strengthen your relationship.

19. Emotionally Intelligent Men Know How to Live in the Moment

While life is crazy chaotic, he treasures each day he’s alive. He doesn’t miss those little things because he practices mindful living. Therefore, he notices that the roses outside your apartment are in full bloom or that you’re wearing your hair in a new style.

20. He’s Positive in a Negative World

It’s hard to keep your spirits up with all you face each day, but he’s become your bright spot. Emotionally intelligent men are known for their sensitivity, and he knows when you’re having a bad day, cheering you up can happen with a bit of positivity.

emotionally intelligent men

Final Thoughts on Emotionally Intelligent Men

Some ladies find it harder to pinpoint the exact reason why someone feels emotionally attractive, but they know that it’s just as important as physical attractiveness. Hollywood parades people on TV and in magazines that show a lovely physical appearance, but these people often showcase emotionally unattractive conduct. Is it no wonder that the old saying beauty is only skin deep has stuck around for generations?

Emotionally intelligent men are magnetic, and they will value you as much as they love themselves. Their actions show that their good on the inside, where it counts most. By looking for core values rather than looks, you can soon learn to pick out gentlemen with emotional intelligence that are worthy of a life-long commitment.