When selecting a partner, there are many things that you must consider. Finding the one that you want to share your most intimate moments with is just a dream to some. How do you know if you share compatibility with a person?

Fairytales depict that you will make this journey towards finding the right person only once, so you want to make sure that you get it right. The person you want to share your life with must check all the boxes, and your chemistry must be off the charts. Compatibility is the key, but many things fall into that category.

How do you know if your compatibility is where it needs to be? If you want a life-long partnership, then you must make sure you both are well-suited.

10 Signs of Compatibility Between Partners

Here are ten things that will show if you and the one you love have excellent compatibility.

1. They’re the First Person You Want to Share Things With

Before you walk down the aisle or commit to someone, they should first be your best friend. Your BFF is someone that you want to share everything with, whether it be good or bad. Do you find yourself wanting to call this person just to tell them about the smallest of things?

When they are your person, then they know everything about you. Additionally, there are no secrets between the two of you. If you can’t wait to get home and share all the happenings of your day with them, then you know that they hold a special place in your life and heart.


2. You Both Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Research published by the Journal of Marriage and Family confirms that accountability in a relationship is vital for its success.

Part of having a mature relationship is being responsible for your actions. If you do something wrong, then you must be man or woman enough to admit it. Part of taking responsibility for wrongdoings means being able to say the words “I’m sorry.”

If your love interest cannot admit they’re wrong and will never apologize to you, you may want to reconsider a lifelong commitment.

3. Your Views on Raising Children is the Same

If you’re at the age where children are a possibility, you need to make sure you’re both on the same page. If you want children and the other party doesn’t, then it can make things complicated. Consequently, you should also have the same views on child-rearing.

It doesn’t work if one person takes a strict military stance while the other party is more lackadaisical.

4. You Both Can Argue Without Taking it to a Dangerous Level

It’s completely normal to have arguments and disagreements in a relationship. However, it’s what you do in those moments that count. Do your disputes escalate into name-calling and throwing objects?

It’s healthy to argue about important issues, but you must make sure that it doesn’t go to a dismal place when you disagree. No two people can agree on everything all the time. If you don’t argue at all, then someone isn’t completely honest about their feelings.

Make sure that when you have disagreements that you don’t let it soar to a place that is unhealthy for your relationship. Establish ground rules for your union before you commit.

Those who can successfully banter without making it personal have an excellent compatibility level. The last thing you need is someone with anger management issues that makes your life miserable.

5. Your Interests are Parallel

Do you both have the same interests? If one person is an adrenaline junkie who wants to ride roller coasters, visit haunted houses, and explore the paranormal, the other person should like or be open to them.

Though opposites attract, there should be enough similar interests between the two of you to keep things exciting. If one person is into the art scene and wants to live at the theater and museum while the other is living for clubs, bars, and rock n’ roll concerts, it might not work.

While you can bend a bit for the sake of your relationship, you must have enough common interests to make you compatible.

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6. Your Upbringings are Similar

Couples don’t realize how vital their past is until they try to build a future. Marriage counselors will tell you that the values instilled in you from a child mold who you are as a person. If you were born in a strict religious family who values a conservative lifestyle, then the person you marry should understand and respect those beliefs.

However, the ultra-conservative and the liberal might not work well together. Someone who is against abortion, goes to church every Sunday, and is deeply devoted to their spirituality might not mesh well with someone who is pro-choice is against organized religion. While these issues won’t seem significant at first, they can cause division as time goes on.

If you want to raise your children sitting on a church pew on Sundays and your spouse prefers to sleep in, it might be hard to compromise. It’s these little issues that can fester into a major rift.

7. You Both Feel the Same About Drugs, Alcohol, and Cigarettes

Some people are adamantly against drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. If the other person has a glass of wine with dinner and a beer on occasion, then it might be offensive to the other party. When a person has seen the destruction that these vices can do, they may take a stand against it.

Your spouse must understand and be open to your views. If you grew up in a home where your mother or father was an alcoholic and did drugs, it might be a substantial issue if your significant other has any of those traits. Respecting these boundaries is one of the things that makes a union thrive.

8. Your Core Values are Compatible

Every person has core values that make them who they are in life. These core values are things that aren’t easily changed. These standards are a combination of your upbringing, your religious beliefs, your morals, and your views on life itself.

Both of you must have similar goals and be going in the same direction. If you have two people walking different paths, then it’s hard to be united as a couple. Your compatibility comes down to your core values and being flexible to compromise for the sake of the other person.

9. You’re Both Committed to Growth

Marriage is an investment, according to the NIH. Success stems from an investment in time and in the ability to evolve together.

You must realize that the man or woman that you marry today is not going to be the same five years from now. Ten years from now, you won’t even recognize yourself. You both must be on the same page throughout the changes that occur in life.

You want to learn and grow as a couple. The best couples are the ones that are driven for personal growth as well as keeping objectives as a couple in mind. A Swiss study suggests that you must be able to keep an excellent work-relationship balance.

Additionally, it should be a goal to heal and move past any unfinished business that may be left from your childhood, as these scars can often be the key to undoing any union.

10. You Find Each Other’s Quirks Charming

Some annoyances come along with commitment. The aggravations you will experience as a couple goes far beyond leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to put your dirty clothes in the hamper. Some quirks are damaging to a relationship.

For instance, if one person believes that “a clean home is a happy home,” while the other prefers to clean once a month, it can be an issue. You must learn to find the quirks of the other person charming even if you get annoyed sometimes. There must be enough good to balance the bad.


Final Thoughts on Considering Compatibility in Your Relationship

Now you’ve established the things that prove your compatibility–excellent! According to therapists at the non-profit agency loveisrespect.org, you need rules and boundaries that keep your union healthy. Here are some things that can help you ensure you have a happy life.

  • Never go to bed angry
  • Don’t keep secrets
  • Always put your partner first
  • Never let relatives or friends come in between you
  • Don’t push buttons
  • Never let an argument escalate to name-calling
  • Make decisions based on your union and not just personally
  • Take time for each other
  • Don’t let the cares of life drive a wedge between you
  • Value each other’s opinions, feelings, and concerns

Finally, an essential thing that you can do as a couple is never to stop dreaming. No matter how bad the storms you weather in life, no matter how rocky your relationship becomes, if you ever stop dreaming, your relationship won’t last.

Committing to one another is based on compatibility and a whole lot of other things. The good thing is that you found someone who truly makes you happy and completes you. The rest is just kismet. Marriage counselors will tell you that If you’ve found a person that checks all the boxes in your proverbial checklist, then you’ve found a gem to treasure for all your days.