12 Red Flags Someone Is Too Assertive

12 Red Flags Someone Is Too Assertive

too assertiveLifestyle

The world is full of assertive people that have made their stamp in life. Sadly, these people are often misunderstood, or others feel that they have bad intentions. Just because someone speaks their mind and has moxie, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

How do you know if you’re a bit too assertive? Having a bit of force and self-confidence goes a long way, but you might need to tone it down since many misunderstand you. Here are some signs that you need to watch your self-assertive nature a bit.

Here Are Twelve Signs That Someone Might Be Too Assertive

Be honest. Do you exhibit these behaviors?

1. Assertive People Are Not Afraid to Speak Their Mind

It’s okay to speak your mind and let people know where you stand. What isn’t okay is saying things that are hurtful towards others. Even if you don’t like the dress or suit they’re wearing, some opinions need to be kept to yourself.


Evaluate your statements before you speak. If anything you say might be misunderstood or hurtful towards someone, then bite your tongue.

2. You Scare Some People

Do people fear you because they don’t know what you will say or do? Do others tiptoe on eggshells when you walk into a room? While it’s good to have a commanding presence and others’ respect, you don’t want people to be afraid of you.

People who fly off the handle and have rage might be assertive, and it could be an underlying medical condition and not self-confidence. If you find yourself being aggressive with your assertion, then it’s time to reevaluate yourself.

3. People Listen When You Talk

It’s a good thing when you talk that people listen. However, do they listen because they value what you say as a coworker or family member, or do people look like they’re afraid if they utter a word, you might slaughter them?

Make sure that people want to hear what you say because you’re engaging and not threatening. There is a big difference in why people draw crowds, and it’s not always good ones.

4. You Use Your Clout to Make Things Happen

Are you guilty of using your position to get things done? While there is certainly nothing wrong with dropping names or calling in favors from others to accomplish tasks, you should avoid blackmail and other unscrupulous methods. You want to be a mover and shaker and not someone underhanded like a mob boss.

5. You’ve Been Called Names a Time or Two

Assertive people are often misunderstood, and while some people want to be just like you, others hate the ground you walk on. It’s not uncommon for people with strong personalities to be called names. Even with the best of intentions, you can still ruffle a few feathers.

The real problem comes into play when you people have more hate than like for you. Being assertive and getting the job done is all well and good, but life sure is lonely if people misunderstand you so much that they don’t want to be around you.

6. Assertive People Rarely Ever Sugar Coat or Beat Around the Bush

Have you ever told someone to “Give it to me straight?” You’re not one that likes to beat around the bush or sugarcoat the truth. You will openly say what needs to be said without fear of any backlash.

The good thing about people that “shoot from the hip” is that you always know where you stand with them. The bad thing about people who are so straightforward is that they offend many people along the way. If your assertive nature is more offensive than helpful, then tone it back a bit.

A good rule of thumb to live by is that you should never tell people things they already know. They know the things they need to work on and what’s wrong in their lives. They don’t need you to point it out and offer unsolicited advice.

pop meme7. You’re Always a Leader

Have you been a leader since childhood? You would never dream of following someone else’s lead as you always have a clear-cut path to victory. While being a leader is an integral part of society, you need to learn when to step back and let someone else be in charge.

Do you often seem to take over a group of people no matter what the situation? You may even step in and try to control things over someone else that has already been designated as in charge.

Your assertive nature is good for leadership, but you can’t always be the leader. Learn when to follow sometimes too.

8. Your Passion and Opinions Are Often Misunderstood

Do you often feel like people misunderstand your motives or passions?

Let’s look at a real-world example of this.

Imagine this. You are a manager at your workplace and developed a strict policy about not allowing people to take time off, other than for vacation or illness. You cannot fathom workers who want to take their pets to the vet or want bereavement time for a loss is not acceptable.

To others, it may come across that you only care about work and the bottom line rather than your employees. Others view animals as members of the family. The loss of a dog or cat is a painful ordeal. Sadly, what many people don’t know is that you once loved pets. You just got your heart broken when your dog of 15 years died. You vowed you would never have another pet again.


While you’re passionate about the acceptable reasons people call off, you must allow a little leniency for individuality. You must remember that you can have an iron fist as a ruler, but you must still have a big heart.

9. Success is Not an Option

You decide that you want to do something, and you won’t stop until your dream comes to fruition. In your world, success is not an option but a destination. There’s nothing wrong with being goal-driven, and it’s easy to pour yourself 100 percent into your endeavors.

What’s not okay is to step on everyone else on the way to your goal. You can’t use people, play dirty, and even resort to blackmail tactics to get what you want. Sometimes people want something so bad because they cannot have it.

However, once they get the item they longed for, they realize they didn’t want it anyway. How many times has that happened to you with unrequited love? You pine after a man or woman so much that you can hardly sleep or eat.

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