Jealousy is an emotion that all of us can agree we have felt at some point in time. The feeling is not only found in relationships but also in other areas of life. Jealousy is, however, more powerful and prevalent in relationships. Whether it is your spouse, your family members, or close friends, it is bound to happen.
Being insecure is a double-edged feeling that can either make or break your relationship. Most times the emotion is toxic to individuals as it leads to breaking up in relationships. When you, however, look at the feeling positively, you can create lasting relationships. Becoming anxious is a universal human emotion; it only becomes bad when you react negatively to it.
What to know about jealousy
Dr. Robert L Leahy in the book “The Jealous Cure”, speaks about suspicion being all about you. It is usually more about our personalities than the actions of others. Some of the triggers of the emotion include insecurities that we may have due to our past. Jealousy comes most of the times when we feel threatened by a third party in relationships. The resentment in most relationships is usually either sexual or emotional closeness.
What are the Times that Being Jealous is a Good Thing in Your Relationship?
• When One Oversteps Relationship Boundaries
Every relationship has a set of boundaries governing the partners. Sometimes the limits are obvious, and sometimes you have to discuss them with each other. Adhering to boundaries in relationships is a sign of respect to your partner. It is healthy for you to become anxious when one violates the confines. Sometimes the boundaries may hurt you emotionally or physically or in other ways. When you feel resentful, it is a sign that someone else does not respect you enough.
• When Someone Becomes Flirty With Your Spouse
The behaviors take place mostly when you and your spouse go out on social occasions. You are likely to meet people who do not know you personally. There are usually many single people looking for potential spouses in parties. It is worse when you have a good-looking spouse. People may start acting in flirty and suggestive ways in their body language. It is okay for you to get jealous in such instances. Seeing other people admiring your partner is a potent trigger. It is good to acknowledge the feeling and let your spouse know about it.
• When Your Partners Attention Is More On Their Friends Rather Than On You
When a relationship is new, you and your partner give each other all the attention there is. However, as times moves, the concentration reduces. Most spouses may end up spending much of their time with friends. The situation is adverse where the two of you have different friends. Another trigger is when your spouse has many friends of the opposite sex. Being jealous is acceptable and understandable at that point.
• When priorities in the relationship change
Everyone wants to live in a relationship where you know you are the priority. Sometimes the people you connect with most and who understand you are those closest to you. With the busy world we are living in, it is so easy to get lost in the motion. When your partner gives more attention to careers, friends, and other people, it will automatically make you jealous.
• When You Feel Under-Appreciated
One of the most reoccurring issues that break up relationships is under-appreciation. Sometimes we get used to our partners doing good for us and forget to thank them. We assume that they know that we are grateful for what they do. Appreciating your partner with words out loud is an important practice to do. It will make you jealous when you see them acknowledging other people for the little they do. Forgetting that you do so much than what others do.
• When Your Partner Does Value Your Time Together
How would you feel when you go out on a date with your spouse, and they are not emotionally there? Automatically you will feel suspicious. It is very disappointing when your spouse is busy on the phone with a workmate or a friend. Sometimes your spouse may start behaving weird like engaging the restaurant attendant of the opposite sex. The behavior may force you to become envious.
• When They Disclose Their Problems To The Friends Rather Than Confiding In You
It is saddening when your partner does not communicate to you what they are going through in life. Instead, they confide in their friends to find solutions. The behavior can make you feel like an outsider. It is healthy for you to feel that way.
The good news is that being jealous is not unhealthy at all. What you need to do is to understand why you are getting jealous, when, and how the feeling arises. The information helps you to channel the emotion positively.