You’ve met Mr. Wonderful, but you’ve noticed a few quirks that bother you. Or, perhaps, you’ve been dating for a while now, but you’re starting to see some behaviors that are concerning. A toxic man can manipulate you and act like prince charming until he can no longer keep up with the façade.
The self-centered, manipulative, and often narcissistic person tends to be good for a while. Consequently, it’s not long before their true colors come shining through. You need to identify the signs of these unscrupulous people, so you can avoid any heartache and drama.
The last thing you need is to be hooked up with Mr. Wrong, as it can cause you to miss out on the right one. Plus, you must consider all the mind games and stress that has an astronomical effect on your inner being.
Before we dive in, let’s acknowledge that these traits are undesirable for every gender! We will address the traits of a toxic woman in a separate article because women and men do display different behaviors.
Fifteen Signs of a Toxic Man
You wonder if that little white lie that he told is just the one you caught? The time he snapped at you for seemingly nothing didn’t sit well with you, so you can’t help but wonder about his issues. Here are some red flags identified from those who’ve dealt with the toxic man.
Having a relationship with a liar is like building the foundation of your house with sand; it’s not going to last. Whether he tells the occasional lie or he’s a habitual or pathological tale teller doesn’t matter. You need someone that will be upfront and honest with you.
If you’re catching your man in a lot of lies, it’s a sign that there’s something not quite right about him. Either he has a lot to hide from you, or he’s trying to make himself seem bigger and better in your eyes. There’s never a reason to lie, even if it’s just a small one.
According to the National Library of Medicine, a pathological liar is someone who continually and spontaneously tells false stories for their benefit. They’ve become such good story tellers that they believe their own lies.
2. He Uses Emotional Manipulation
People tend to think women manipulate men with their tears, but men have their tactics too. If you find that he plays on your emotions to get you to do what he wants, then it’s a sign of emotional manipulation. This person will stoop to whatever levels to get their way, and they have little regard for your feelings.
3. He’s Constantly Changing Moods
One minute he’s loving all over you and the next he’s giving you the cold shoulder. You walk on eggshells because you never know what mood he is going to be in. He seems like he has bipolar disease, which according to the National Library of Medicine, is a condition where moods fluctuate based on levels of brain chemicals.
4. He Puts You on Guilt Trips
Guilt is a powerful tool, and he’s mastered how to use it. He will put you on a guilt trip to get his way. He isn’t afraid to lie or cheat and use you to further his agenda, and this includes putting you on an occasional guilt trip.
5. He Uses Your Love Against You
He knows how much you love him, so he will use that to his advantage. He knows that you won’t say no to him, especially when he pleads his case. While this does play into your emotions a bit, he is not above using your feelings of admiration to manipulate a situation.
6. He’s Overly Sweet and Attentive
Some guys are sweethearts and the teddy bear that is attentive and loves to cuddle. However, if your guy is sappy sweet with a side of clinginess, then it’s a sign that something isn’t quite right. The toxic man often has issues from trauma, according to the National Library of Medicine.
This behavior indicates that his inner child has been damaged, and he doesn’t know how to love you in a pure and innocent way. Toxic individuals often pour on the charm heavy in the beginning, but look out, as this act doesn’t last for long.
7. He Promises Change
If you’re relationship hits the rocks, he may know his days are numbered. To keep you around, he may promise you the moon. Have you noticed that his promises are easily broken when he goes back to doing the same thing over and over?
Remember, a tiger doesn’t change their stripes, and this guy isn’t going to change anytime soon. However, if he gets counseling and tries to work on things, then that’s a different matter.
One thing that is commonplace with the selfish and manipulative person is their inability to keep friends. They’ve burnt many relationships along life’s journey, so the chances of them taking you home to meet the parents are slim. They will be very closed lipped about any associations they have, and you may wonder what happened to his family.
Don’t believe every word they say, and make sure you check out their stories too. They are not above making up tales of tragedy to explain the absence of their family either. If you’re in doubt, do some digging on the matter.
9. He’s Constantly Criticizing
Your sappy, sweet Casanova has turned into a negative critical person. Sometimes you wonder why you’re in a relationship with him as all he does is cut you down. You can’t seem to do anything right.
From cooking to cleaning and even the way you dress, he always has a crucial review of you. He’s slowly destroying your self-esteem and it’s going to be a damaging blow.
10. He Separates You from Family and Friends
When you’re in love, there is a natural separation that happens between your family and friends. You want to spend more time with the one who has stolen your heart. However, this is a bit different in that he is purposely trying to take you away from those you love.
He probably won’t come out and say that you can’t see these people, but he will do everything to preoccupy your time. As the relationship progresses, he may become angry if you take time away. It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong, but his insecurities are shining through.
11. He’s Dragging You Down
While you love him, walking away is as hard as putting down an addictive drug. You have this attachment to him that keeps you in turmoil. He’s dragging you down with him, and you don’t know how to get off the merry-go-round.
12. He Overinflates His Worth
He is his own biggest fan. You don’t need to stroke his ego as he does plenty of that himself. He may inflate his job title or say he makes more money than he does, but this is all coming from his inner turmoil and feelings of not measuring up.