Everyone, at some point in their lives, encounters a narcissist. Whether it is an interpersonal friendship, intimate relationship or at the office, dealing with a narcissistic person is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. If your boss or co-worker is a narcissist, it makes it even more difficult; you essentially have to endure this person’s behaviors for eight to ten hours a day at work. An overt narcissist will always display several classic symptoms. Once you recognize you are in the clenches of a narcissistic person, you can employ tactics that will help you cope with their irrational and exhausting behavior.
Here are 5 signs of a narcissist you should not ignore:
Me, Me, Me
Someone with a narcissistic personality gets the ultimate pleasure from talking about him or herself. He or she will never ask questions to get to know you or ask for opinions or ideas involving projects at work. Narcissistic people only enjoy hearing themselves talk and will often monopolize conversations at work while excessively talking about their many achievements, endeavors and accolades. They have the mentality that no one is better than they are, and if you try to talk about your endeavors or achievements, they are quick to cut you down or shift the focus back on to their seemingly incredible feats of success.
Co-workers with narcissistic personality traits will also always feel the need to interrupt people at the office, because they think that their ideas, thoughts and opinions need to be expressed immediately, regardless of proper etiquette, manners or timing.
Excessively Negative And Toxic To Be Around
If someone in your office has narcissistic personality disorder, he or she thrives on creating drama and spreading their doom-and-gloom attitude all over the office. At the core of their center, narcissistic people are actually very self-conscious, fearful and lonely; you would never know it by how they outwardly act. A narcissist inadvertently wants to make you feel as down and gloomy as they secretly feel about themselves on the inside. The only way to do that is to throw a tantrum, criticize, attack, ridicule, put down and judge others. Their goal is to make you feel inferior, especially if you challenge their ideas or opinions or make them feel threatened in any way during the work day. The slightest little bit of constructive criticism will drive them into a downward shame spiral where their only defense is to retaliate with negativity and toxicity.
The Blame Game
Once the narcissistic co-workers have been triggered in some capacity and have lashed out with negativity, harshness, passive-aggressive behavior or criticism, they will immediately shift the blame to the offending parties when their behavior is brought to their attention. It will suddenly become your fault that they acted out in such an inappropriate manner because you are the one who gave the neutral performance feedback. A narcissist simply cannot be held accountable or responsible for their actions or lack of action. Everyone and everything is to blame for why they messed up and why they reacted in an inappropriate way.
Charming And Idealistic With No Intent To Deliver On Promises
A narcissistic person will charm the pants off of a new client, boss or customer. You may notice that the initial impressions of a narcissist are often favorable. They are great at manipulating people to get what they want, and they can easily persuade people to believe in their ideas or perceptions. Over time, however, a person with narcissistic personality disorder reveals their true self: a person lacking in substance and morals. Unfortunately for many duped by the narcissist, this is not discovered until expectations are unmet, deadlines have passed and budgets are overspent.
Breaking Rules And Pushing The Envelope
A narcissist’s arrogance and sense of self-entitlement knows no boundaries when it comes to being unethical. On a large scale, he or she may take dangerous shortcuts that may jeopardize client information or set up a fellow colleague for failure. Since a narcissist will do anything to get ahead and shift the blame, he or she may concoct schemes to frame someone else in lieu of admitting fault and taking the fall on a failed project or assignment. Narcissists are also known for falsifying and exaggerating the information in reports, stealing supplies from around the office and even committing white-collar crimes.
These are all classic signs of narcissism. While these types of people may never admit fault and may spend an excessive amount of time doting on their own achievements and bragging about all of the important people they know, every now and again they do have kind moments. The key to tolerating a narcissist is to acknowledge these moments, and express direct thanks when this person seemingly does a selfless act or goes above and beyond the call of duty. Your gratitude may lessen the probability of a narcissist’s rage.