Remember the iconic song from Boy II Men that states it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday? Many people hold onto relationships for far too long because they don’t know how to say goodbye. A long distance romance tests your love, loyalty, and ability to keep the fires burning from miles apart.
Did you know that many people stay in marriages and relationships far longer than they should because they’ve become comfortable? It’s easier to deal with the drama than rearranging your whole life and starting again. However, when you’re miles apart, you’re already living on your own, so it shouldn’t be as much of a challenge, yet it’s still hard.
Many people fall in love over the internet. Online dating has become a big part of relationships, and meeting someone via the World Wide Web is often straightforward. However, how do you know if it’s worth loving someone who is so far away? You can’t go on dates to the movies, out to dinner, or have any other special moments. Instead, you must settle for Zoom meetings and flying or driving back and forth.
In some instances, a country or even continent separates you from the one you love, which adds another element of strain. Can you love someone and make a relationship work if you’re a world away?
Twelve Signs It’s Time to Break-up with Your Long-Distance Romance
There are often many red flags that indicate a relationship is over. However, you’re often too scared to admit you see the signs. These 12 ways may help you suggest that it’s time to say goodbye to your long distance romance.
1. You’re Feelings Have Changed During the Long Distance Romance
It was a passionate relationship where you couldn’t get enough of one another when things started. Now, you feel so disconnected from them that you don’t know what’s wrong. You want to get back to the way things used to be, but you don’t know how to do it.
It’s evident that your feelings have changed for this person, and it’s time you talk and see why you’re having such a disconnect.
2. Your Long Distance Romance Plays Host to Way Too Many Arguments
You dread the next phone call or Skype session because everything is one big fight. You don’t even know what you argue about, but it seems like everything makes you both angry. What once was a budding romance feels flat and dead. Indeed, you’re both fighting so much that you destroyed anything you had left.
3. Your Long Distance Romance Partner Shuts You Out
Not only is the physical connection an issue due to distance, but your long distance romance is also in trouble because you’re being shut out. Your love doesn’t want to talk very much, but they keep everything very tepid when you do talk. Now, they may have outside stressors that are bothering them, but there’s a reason why they’re pushing you away.
4. You Have Concerns of Faithfulness
You don’t know if it’s that you don’t trust them or the fact that you’re miles apart. However, you undoubtedly think they’re cheating. Maybe you don’t have any proof, but the very situation of being so far from each other makes you on edge.
These days, you don’t trust yourself to be faithful either because the loneliness is getting the best of you.
5. You’re Fantasize About Other People
Everyone has needs that must be met, and these needs are emotional, physical, and spiritual. It’s perfectly normal for you to require intimacy to make you feel complete, and it’s hard to get your physical needs met when there are miles in between you.
One thing is for sure, if you’re fantasizing about other people, then either the distance is getting to you, or they’re not in your heart anymore.
6. There Are Too Many Lies
Lying is a deal-breaker in any relationship. According to Thought Catalog, lying to your partner is the quickest way to lose them, and the Scorpio seems to be the sign that can handle lying the least. Some people forgive lying. But when the lies are constant, and they become more ridiculous, it’s time to end your long distance romance.
7. You Want Different Things
The whole point of having a relationship is that you and your partner will eventually unite at some point. There are very few relationships where married people live apart, and things work. You want to be with the one you love, but what if the one you love has other plans?
For instance, you may want to live in Chicago and work at a big hospital. However, the other party wants to live in New York City as this has always been home. They won’t leave New York, and you can’t imagine leaving Chicago. If there is no give and take in this relationship, how will things ever work?
The problem is that ten years down the line, you will still be living separate lives and only meeting occasionally in the middle.
8. Your Friends Tell You to Break off the Long Distance Romance
It’s often the case that your friend and family members see the red flags of trouble before you. When you’re so close to the situation, it makes it challenging to see all the issues. However, when your friends are telling you that it’s time to break up, then it’s probably worth at least listening to their rationale.
9. There Are Deal Breaking Situations
Breaking up is not easy, but sometimes some deal-breakers make it seem impossible to continue. For instance, maybe the other person is too heavily involved with their ex because of children. They tend to take things to the extreme, like grocery shopping and running errands for their ex.
Do you think you can live with a third party in your relationship? A long distance romance is already hard enough, but when you have an ex that’s so close and still connected, it just makes things even harder.
10. You’re Doing All the Sacrificing
You fly or drive back and forth to see one another, but it seems that you and your wallet are the ones making all the sacrifices. You keep the roads hot, trying to make things work, but you still feel horrible about the whole situation. If they would meet you halfway or do some traveling here, there, and everywhere, it would make things easier on you.
11. You Feel Stuck
One of the worst feelings in a relationship is when you feel stuck. You can’t turn to the left or the right because you’re just in a no-win situation. When you’re afraid to end things but you’re not moving forward, you’re stuck in the middle.
While it’s true that relationships have good and bad times, you’ve been in this place for far too long. Indeed, you don’t want to end it all, but you don’t want to stay either. It would help if you cut the tie that binds.
12. You’re Unhappy in the Long Distance Romance
You’ve gone to bed crying your eyes out, and you’ve broken up with them 100 times in your mind, but you can’t seem to break free. It’s not that they’ve done anything wrong, but it just feels off. You’re unhappy, and you want to feel once again the joy of being in a relationship with someone that completes you.
Five Tips for Breaking Off Your Long Distance Romance
Not sure how to end things with someone you love, but distance separates you? Here are a few tips on how to break things off the right way.
- Break up face to face – Though distance separates you, still be man or woman enough to do it on Zoon or Skype if you can’t make the trip. Please give them the respect of seeing your face and hearing you loud and clear.
- Don’t text – Text message break-ups are impersonal and quite rude. It’s telling the person that they’re not even worth a phone call.
- Calls are the second-best option – Sometimes, a phone call is most accessible. Make sure you don’t get irate and go into a big production. Instead, take your time and tell them why things aren’t working for you from your heart. Traditionally, a phone call isn’t the best way, but it will have to suffice since you’re separated by miles.
- Don’t have someone else do it – While it seems easier to put things off to a friend or college, be person enough to tell them how you feel yourself.
- Never let them talk you into staying – if you’re already miserable, then be strong enough to stand your ground.
Final Thoughts on Saying Goodbye to Your Long Distance Romance
A study conducted by Dating at a Distance found that only 60 percent of long-distance relationships last. The article states that it’s more common for people between 18-24 years old to be in such an arrangement, primarily due to college. However, the success rate drops the older the person becomes.
The article also states that 37 percent of folks don’t make it past three months in such a relationship, so if you’ve made it further than this, you’ve defied the odds. Long distance romance is complicated, no matter how much you love one another. So, if you feel that it’s too much and you’re ready to say goodbye, don’t put off the inevitable.