Things fell apart and now you are falling apart, as well. If you’re like most people, you may be having a hard time coping with all that you have to do while holding onto pain, no matter where it originates from. Whether someone broke your heart or you got fired from your job, you may find that you can’t let go of past pain.
While it’s normal to go through a phase of acceptance, you may find it’s taking a long time to be able to let go and move on. I’ve been there. Someone has hurt you and you keep replaying what happened in your mind. You try to understand how things turned out the way that they did, but no matter how many times you play it over in your head, you can’t find the answer. What do you do?
How and Why You Should Let Go Of Past Pain or Anger
If you here, you are probably tired of dealing with the pain and negative feelings that are a consequence of what happened to you. Whether it’s a relationship or a broken friendship, if you aren’t able to continue on with life, as usual, it may be time to let go and move on.
Staying stuck in a past relationship or failure may seem valid but the truth is that if you keep going back to that moment, you may never reach your goals. Focusing on what went wrong has its place, but once you figure it out, it’s time to move forward with the lessons learned.
When holding onto that breakup or that fight you had with your best friend starts affecting your life, whether it be your dating life, career, or even hygiene, it’s time to take action and let go. The following tips can help you to finally let go and live the fulfilling life that you want to.
Understand why you feel the way that you do.
Before you can move forward, it is highly important that you try to understand why the situation hurt you the way that it did. It’s healthy to pinpoint why you feel so bad and find the underlying conditions that may be making it seem larger than life. Perhaps you have a pattern of being abandoned and when your partner left you, you felt abandoned once again and don’t know how to deal with it. You may have a hard time communicating with others and when your friendship fell apart, you may have blamed yourself. Once you understand why you feel the way that you do, you can more easily find a solution for it.
Allow the emotions to happen and let them out.
Some people try to be strong and hold everything inside. While it may be necessary at times, like when you’re at work or caring for your children, it’s important to let them out. Whether you meet a friend for coffee to cry a little or you visit your therapist to express yourself, letting your feelings out can go far in helping you to heal.
Start a new exercise routine or join a class.
Focusing on something new can be a fantastic way to look forward to the future. Whether you take up spinning as a way to lose weight and try something new or you take painting classes, it will help to distract you and can even help improve your self-esteem after you lost some confidence from the negative situation.
Make a clear decision to let go.
You may have thought about how you want to let go of past situations, but have you made the decision to actually let go? It can be a positive step forward to simply say that you are letting go. Once you know that it is what you want to do, you can more easily take the steps to do so.
Focus on the present.
The past has already happened. What are you doing now? Maybe you have started a new job since your ex-partner left you? Focus on how well it’s going and how much you like it, instead of spending your days thinking about how much you may miss your ex.
Get to know new people to let go of the ones who are no longer present.
It helps to meet new people. While they can’t replace the feelings that you had for your ex-partner or old friend, you will find that they can also bring beautiful things to your life as well.
If you’re done with waking up every day feeling sad about what happened in the past, don’t stay there. Follow the above-mentioned tips to help you get started towards loving your future. The past is in the past. What is in your future? It’s bound to better than you could have imagined!