If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you know in some way. They might start by inviting you somewhere or adding you to their social media accounts. However, true friendship today seems quite rare as we lead busier lives than ever before. We live in a time where making friends online seems like the most comfortable option. It only takes a quick search to find groups where we feel we belong, and we can choose from thousands of people to form friendships with.
Of course, online friends should never take the place of real-life friendships. Studies have shown that even people who have thousands of Facebook or Instagram friends usually only have one or two close friendships in their real lives. We need human interaction to survive, and unfortunately, more people report feeling lonely than ever before. Scientists have even called it a “loneliness epidemic” because of its far-reaching and dramatic effects on our mental health.
This problem doesn’t just affect seniors, either. Many millennials and Generation Z-er’s report feeling lonely also, and this can have disastrous effects on their health. Scientists have found that loneliness carries the same risks as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, which shows how much humans need friendships.
Now that we’ve talked about the importance of friends in our daily lives, we’ll discuss some signs that reveal someone wants to initiate a friendship.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
Here are seven signs someone wants to be your friend:
Read to see the behaviors that reveal when somebody wants your friendship.
1 – They enjoy your company and accept you for who you are.
You find that you can let your guard down around them because they seem accepting and nonjudgmental. If someone wants to be your friend, they will take the time to get to know the real you. They encourage you to take off your mask around them and be your full self. A real friend would never judge you for your opinions, thoughts, or beliefs about the world.
If someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will invite you to hang out and take time to see what’s underneath the mask. You can relax and enjoy their company because they have your best interests at heart.
2 – They check in on you often.
If you’ve recently started talking to someone but haven’t established a friendship yet, this person will keep showing effort. If they really want to be your friend, they’ll text or message you often just to see how your day is going. Even if they don’t have much to talk about, they’ll just love hearing from you and engaging in small talk. They genuinely care about your well-being, and this will show with their actions.
Real friendship doesn’t mean you have to put in effort always, but it does mean showing you care by checking in and offering support if needed.
3 – They share deep, meaningful things about themselves with you.
A real friend wants to get to know the real you, and they share their authentic selves right back. They don’t just want to talk about superficial things like shopping and gossip with you. They will feel comfortable sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with you after getting to know you, and they want you to feel okay doing the same. You won’t fear judgment or ridicule from them, and they will feel like they can let their guard down around you. If someone wants to be your friend, they will open up and let you see their true self.
4 – If they want to be your friend, they will put in the effort.
A real friend will not make you chase them down continually or keep you hanging when you ask to do things with them. They call and text you just as much as you do them because they know friendship takes two people to work. Even if they don’t talk to you every day, they still will put in an effort to hang out with you often. They ask about your life and make sure you know you’re important to them.
5 – They give you room to talk and listen attentively.
If someone wants to be your friend, they will allow you to express yourself and won’t judge you for it. Many people don’t feel heard in their relationships, but a real friend will make sure you have time to talk about what’s important to you. They will want to break down your walls and get to know your heart.
They won’t only talk about themselves.
If someone wants to be your friend, they’ll let you vent or talk as much as you need to. You won’t have to worry about them interrupting or only having a one-sided conversation. This person will make you feel heard and respect what you have to say.
They will make you feel important by giving you their full attention.
They will give your conversation their full attention and not half-heartedly listen while playing on their phone. If someone truly wants your friendship, you will feel it in their efforts. Your intuition will let you know that this person does not just want to use you or play games. They enjoy the person you are and want to form a friendship with you.
You can always count on them.
Whenever you need them, you can call them and not feel guilty about it. They give you their time even when they have a busy schedule, and they know you’ll have their back, too. If someone really wants to be your friend, they’ll open up their hearts to allow you in. Real friends make sure you feel safe and comfortable opening up to them and calling on them when you need them the most.
6 – They ask you a lot of questions about yourself.
When someone wants to initiate a friendship, they will ask you common questions about yourself. Some questions may include:
- Where were you born? How long did you live there?
- What do you do for a living? Is it your dream job?
- What’s your favorite type of food?
- Are you married? Have kids?
- What’s your favorite place to travel?
- What did you go to school for?
- What kind of music/movies/books do you like?
These are just a few examples. But in general, people will give some sort of indication they want to know you by asking questions. You can’t really get to know anyone without asking about them. So if someone does this, they might want to start a friendship with you.
7 – They will invite you to hang out.
If someone wants to be your friend, they will want to spend time with you. This may mean asking you to see a movie, go to dinner, go for a hike, or something else where you can get to know each other. They may invite you to a group setting or one-on-one, but either way, it shows you mean something to them, and they enjoy your company.
Casual acquaintances can also turn into a deep friendship. Perhaps your casual friend from yoga class or the gym may want to hang out outside of your usual meeting place. Instead of waiting on them to ask, you can always invite them out for coffee or to your favorite park. In life, we can’t forever wait on someone else to make the first move. They may want to be your friend, but feel too shy to take the next steps.
Just as you should always remain open to friendship, you should also make it known to others when you want to be their friend. After all, friendship is a two-way street, and you never know how someone feels until you ask.
Sometimes people don’t show visible signs when they want to initiate friendship. They might talk to you occasionally at the gym or yoga, but don’t know how to say they want to get to know you better. You might have to ask them to hang out if you don’t want to wait around for them to take the next step.
However, sometimes, people will show more apparent signs that they like you. For example, they may ask you to hang out, ask questions to get to know you better, or simply allow you to talk about your life. They will put in the effort to keep up the friendship, accept you as you are, check-in with you, and share important facts about themselves.
Many people today feel lonely, so if someone reaches out and makes room for you in their life, make sure you keep that friend close. Technology has mostly changed the way we interact, and real friendship seems rarer than ever. If you find a rare gem which seems sincere in their friendship, cherish them – real friends help us weather the many storms we face in life.