“To get where you want to go, you’re going to have to rewrite the script of your life and make yourself the star. And, you have to define who you want to be your leading man. Then you’ll know exactly who you are and what you’re looking for.” – Dr. Phil McGraw, Love Smart: Find the One You Want – Fix The One You Got

Life can be lonely, and many people are still looking for their true love. When we have to go through life alone without a trusted partner at our sides, life seems dark and gloomy. We may wonder what we are lacking in ourselves that would make us attractive to a potential partner. This feeling of inadequacy makes us feel like we will never find true love.

Luckily, there are ways to change your perspective and make you more open to finding love. Follow our 7 tips and learn how to find true love without sacrificing what makes you unique.

7 Ways to Find Lasting Love and Partnership Without Losing Yourself

1. Know Yourself

Rather than pushing yourself to change, true love can be found when you look within yourself. If you don’t know what you want out of life, you won’t be able to find the right partner. Spend time truly getting to know yourself. This may take some soul searching. When you have an authentic relationship with yourself, you will be able to look for love without compromising yourself.

2. Know What You Want

Sit down and make a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Rather than blindly following this list in an attempt to find a new partner, cultivate these qualities in yourself. If you want a partner who is artistic and musical, for example, get out and take a class or practice an instrument. You may meet someone special. Like attracts like, and you will have a much easier time finding a partner if you have something in common with them.

3. Let Go of Self-Criticism

If you have been looking for a life partner for a long time, it’s natural that you might feel inadequate. Try to let go of this feeling. Stop berating yourself for being alone. Stop comparing yourself to people who have “perfect lives.” Negative self-talk is damaging.

If you find yourself engaging in self-criticism, stop and think about whether you would say those things to a friend in your situation. If you wouldn’t say them to a friend, don’t say them to yourself. Negativity will make you less attractive to a potential partner.

4. Live Authentically

Stop trying to cover up the truth about yourself. Live according to your own principles. Resist the urge to edit yourself to make yourself more attractive. When you meet a partner, you will want to be your true self. If you are not living authentically, you may attract the wrong person for you.

5. Be Open

It won’t be possible to find true love unless you are open to new experiences. Put yourself out there. Taking risks may bring you closer to your true love.

6. Be Selective

If you meet someone special, move with caution. New relationships are always exciting and can cause us to lose perspective on ourselves. Don’t try to submerge yourself in your partner. Trying to mold yourself to what you think he or she wants will only get you into trouble down the road. True love develops over time; it isn’t instantaneous like attraction and infatuation. Live with the relationship for a while and decide whether you have the potential for lasting love.

soul mate

7. Stop Looking

When we spend too much time focused on the desire to find a partner, we lose touch with what is really important in life. Step back from learning how to find true love and become confident in yourself. When you stop trying to appeal to an imaginary partner, life may step in and offer you a chance at partnership.

Final Thoughts

Finding love means sharing your authentic self with the world. By connecting with your own needs and desires, you will be better able to attract the right partner for you.

Let go of self-criticism. Stop editing yourself to better fit in with a new partner. If you are truly yourself, you will attract the right person. Rather than searching for love with a list of qualifications in hand, work on these qualities in yourself. If you are open to new experiences, you will have a much easier time finding a life partner.