Do You Feel Like People Don’t Like You? Here’s Why, According to Science

Do You Feel Like People Don’t Like You? Here’s Why, According to Science

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Sometimes, you might feel like people don’t like you, and it doesn’t seem to change no matter what you try. It can lead to feelings of isolation and confusion, and you may not pinpoint the issue. Identifying the behaviors that make you feel this way is essential, however, if you want to make a change.

It is important to point out that you can never please everyone. You can, however, work to please those who matter to you. This will help you begin to form meaningful and positive relationships with important people.

If you are one of the lucky ones who doesn’t feel like people don’t like you, then maybe these words will make you think of someone else in your life. It can help you understand that person better and help you identify what people don’t like about that person.

Either way, whether you are the one who feels like people don’t like you or you know someone who feels this way, this article should help you understand better. Oftentimes, it stems from pushing people away and doing things to put up a wall, even unintentionally.



Why You Feel Like People Don’t Like You

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You May Place Blame on Others

When something bad happens, you may tend to look for someone to blame, even when no one caused the situation. Think about if you had ever looked for someone to blame when there was truly no one at fault. If you do this, it will push people away from you because placing blame causes negativity.

Placing blame is a negative trait, and most people like to avoid negativity whenever possible. Plus, if you are always blaming someone else, it makes it look like you won’t own up to your mistakes. This is another characteristic that positive people like to avoid.



When you place blame, you are also wasting precious time that could be spent solving the problem instead. People want to be around those who will help solve the problem, and if you are placing blame instead, the problem is getting solved.

You May Not Show That You Care

Before people can like you or show you that they like you, you must show that you care about them. If you are always looking at what you can get out of a relationship rather than what you can put in it, they will notice. Any relationship requires you to give at least a little, so make sure you are doing your part.

When people form relationships, they must know that the other person cares about them. Without a feeling of care, there will be no trust or comfort between the two of you. This will cause people to avoid confiding in you or spending time with you.

You Lack the Ability to Show Empathy

If you hear about someone’s struggles and instantly think that it isn’t your problem, then lacking empathy might be an issue for you. Likewise, if you don’t want to hear about someone else’s problems, you might be struggling to show empathy.



When you are close to someone, you should only expect to hear about their problems and obstacles. Plus, you should want to hear about it so that you can help them or offer comfort.

When you know someone is hurt or upset, you should allow yourself to feel some of their suffering. If you avoid doing this and try to make it so you don’t have to hear about their issues, it could cause some people not to like you.

It is important to point out that these people might like you, but they will treat you differently, causing you to think they don’t like you. They won’t have such a deep connection with you because you don’t know or understand what they are going through.



People want to surround themselves with people who truly care about them. This is one of the biggest ways to identify that you care or if you don’t care. If you can’t show empathy, you will likely feel like people don’t like you.

Developing empathy

Oftentimes, this characteristic (or lack of) stems from the way you respond to your feelings. If you feel that you can tolerate your feelings and try to push them away instead, then you will likely do that to others.

So, when other people express or show their feelings, it will make you want to push them away, too. You may become angry or visibly annoyed with them, which will make them feel ashamed of their emotions. Again, people don’t like this feeling, so they will turn away from you and stop confiding in you.

You Are Arrogant

Pay attention to the way you interact with others. If you don’t let people respond to what you have said or done, you may be behaving arrogantly. Likewise, if you brush off all the suggestions of others, you may come across as arrogant then, as well.

When you dismiss everything that other people say and only consider your thoughts, you are probably arrogant. You live with a sense of always being right, which causes you to dismiss what others have to say.

One of the biggest signs of arrogance is never admitting when you are wrong. Plus, another sign is that you will never consider if other people might have a good idea for you. When you behave this way, it will make it seem like other people don’t like you.

What You Can do to Positively Change

people don't like you
Reflect

You have to admit that part of these feelings has to come from within. Admitting that there is something about yourself that others may not like will truly help you with this.

Show People That You Care

When friends or loved ones are having a tough time, pay attention, and show them that you care. Figure out or ask what you can do to help them, even if offering a listening ear.

Ask questions about your friends’ lives, and follow-up on events you know have recently taken place. Avoid talking about yourself unless your friend asks, as well. This will let them know that you truly care about them and value their presence in your life.



Extend Empathy to Those Around You

If you notice that you don’t often show empathy or feel like emotions are uncomfortable, change that. Work on getting in touch with your emotions. Then you will be able to exhibit understanding and comfort when someone is experiencing pain, sadness, embarrassment, or fear.

Show those around you that you care about them by being empathetic when they admit their feelings. Be understanding, and put yourself in their position for a minute. This will help you show empathy because you will be better able to feel what they are feeling.

This sounds harder than it truly is, but with practice, it will become natural for you. First, work on how you respond to other people when they are upset or facing obstacles.

Instead of becoming angry, annoyed, or judgmental, take a moment before you respond. Then, react in a way that is based on how you would feel if you were them. Taking a moment before responding can help you reel negative feelings and emotions and exhibit empathy instead.

While this might cause you to feel more vulnerable than you would like, it will also help you attract people. They will see that you are kind and caring, and they will want to connect with you. Stop viewing emotions as weakness and instead view them as an opportunity to connect with others.

Show Humility

The first step to showing humility is to admit that you aren’t always right. Acknowledge that other people might be right or that they might have a better idea than you do. Consider others’ opinions before automatically going with your idea and do so with an open mind.

To do this, you have to start truly listening to people. Listen to others, even if you disagree with them, and keep any snide comments to yourself. As you listen, make comments that let the other people know you listen to them and understand.

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Final Thoughts on Why You Feel Like People Don’t Like You

If you ever feel like people don’t like you, you should consider why this may be the case. It likely stems from your normal behaviors and attitudes. However, with positive changes in your life, you can stop feeling like people don’t like you.

This isn’t to say that everyone will like you, because that is simply impossible to achieve. Instead, it just helps those that you care about to be drawn to you. When this happens, you’ll experience more happiness, and you won’t feel alone or isolated.

While you should always stay true to yourself, these changes can help make a difference in your life. You can still be the person you are while working on making yourself a better person. Remember these reasons why it is possible people don’t like you, and then do what you can do to change those things.



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Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a degree in Literature. She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things and will take on any topic. When she isn't writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls.

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