Family is important, and they’re likely some of the people closest to you. They are there for support, advice, fun, and through the hard times.
Even so, your privacy is still important and you shouldn’t tell them everything.
This doesn’t mean you have to lie or avoid them. It simply means that there are some things in your personal life that your family doesn’t have to know about. Even your parents would be better off not knowing some of the details.
It’s hard to figure out where to draw the line when it comes to sharing personal details. With that being the case, an article explaining the things you should never tell your relatives would be helpful.
The things you shouldn’t tell your relatives include things from your love life to your job and everything in between.
10 Things to Never Tell Your Family About Your Personal Life
1. Marital or relationship problems
When you talk negatively about your partner, your family may have a harder time forgiving them than you do. Your relatives don’t have the same emotional connection with that person that you do. While you may be able to easily forgive their mistakes, your relatives are more concerned about you.
This could cause tension in your relationship and with your relatives. It’s best to just avoid the whole situation and keep the relationship problems to yourself.
This way, they will only have their own opinion of your partner. Avoiding having them find out anything negative about your partner is your best bet. Don’t give them a reason to doubt your relationship.
2. Someone else’s secret (especially another family member)
If you feel that you can’t keep a secret from your friends to them, make sure you mention that before listening. Don’t listen to a secret if you know you’ll run back to your parents, children, siblings, or cousins with the information.
Whatever you were told isn’t your story to tell. You have to leave it to that person to tell others. Even if you think they won’t tell anyone, just keep the secret to yourself.
3. The amount of your income
It is probably fine if your relatives know the ballpark range of what you earn in a year. They don’t need to know down to the cent what you make. You should also keep raises to yourself.
Money issues are one of the biggest problems in a familial unit. By avoiding the topic of your income, you can avoid quite a few uncomfortable topics.
4. Anything about your sex life
Your relatives do not need to know who you are sleeping with. They also don’t need to know any of the details. This is private information that could be used against you or someone else one day.
If it isn’t used against you, it’s still not necessary for anyone to know. Information about your sex life could even change someone’s opinion about you. Since it isn’t something that your relatives need to know, it’s best to avoid any potential negative outcomes of confiding.
5. All the details of your goals
You’re more likely to succeed at your goals if you avoid telling people all of the details. While it is fine to tell them what the end goal is, don’t tell them what the plan is. The more details you keep to yourself, the better off you’ll be.
Even though your relatives are trustworthy, they may slip up to someone who isn’t. If the details of your plan get out to the wrong person, they could do something to mess up the plan. They may also try to change your mind about something when it is only your decision to make.
There is another, more personal, reason for keeping the details of your goals to yourself. Studies show that when you talk about the details, you get the same satisfaction as if you had done them. This can hinder your drive and motivation.
Since it elicits the same feeling as if you’d done it, you’re less likely to follow through. The feeling has already come and went, causing you to not feel like it is as important anymore.
6. Anything about your therapy sessions
When you’re in therapy, it likely means that you have some inner struggles that you’re dealing with. Even if these problems stemmed from someone in your familial unit, there is no reason to bring it up to them.
Your therapy is about your healing, and by sharing that information with others, you’re compromising your healing process. You are also compromising your privacy when you allow others to gain information that they didn’t need to know.
Relatives may also try to contradict something your therapist told you which can lead to frustration and doubt. Plus, if they don’t agree with your therapist, they’ll continue trying to compromise your faith in the therapist. Sometimes it’s best to heal without the input of others.
7. Financial information
If you are running into financial hardships, keep that information to yourself. Your relatives don’t need to know all the details of your problem. Plus, it can bring unwanted advice and comments.
Likewise, if you had a financial increase or did something to increase your finances in the future, keep it a secret. As stated before, money is the leading cause of familial problems. Plus, you don’t want relatives asking for money or expecting you to cover the costs of everything you do together.
8. Past family mistakes that do not affect the current situation
If you made a mistake in the past and it isn’t affecting anyone or anything now, keep it to yourself. Oftentimes, these mistakes only make things worse when they are shared. Not only will they change the opinion your relatives have of you, but it could also cause tension.
These mistakes could cause people to feel like you are untrustworthy. The mistakes could even cause strong relationships to end completely. Also, you could put people in an uncomfortable decision of defending you from other relatives.
9. Habits that may unnecessarily change their opinion of you
If you have a weird or unusual habit that others wouldn’t understand, keep it to yourself. This will protect you in more ways than one.
It’ll save you from criticism or hurtful jokes. Plus, it’ll prevent your habit from leaking to those who may use it against you.
Whatever you do in your home is your business and doesn’t have to be shared with anyone. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others, allow yourself the comfort of knowing that your secret is safe.
10. The resentments you felt in the past
Bringing up things from your past that caused resentment can just make the resentment resurface. Keep it to yourself to prevent this from happening.
Another reason you should avoid sharing it with your relatives is that people don’t normally like talking to negative people. Talking about it can make you seem negative and like someone to avoid.
If the resentment you fault is directed at a certain relative, still keep it to yourself. By bringing it up to them, you’ll only be restarting the problem. Most people don’t see anything wrong with their actions, and they may make you feel even worse.
What You Can Tell Them Instead
Your family wants to know about your life, and you should be excited to share it. Even with this list of things to never tell, there are things you can and should share.
While you shouldn’t tell them all the details of your life, you can still share some of it with them. Telling them your desired career path or what you’re taking classes for is fine. Just don’t tell them the exact details of how you will accomplish it.
If any of the things mentioned on the list affect a relative directly, you could consider telling them then. Another time you can tell is when someone is in danger. These examples will be tough situations, but it is up to you to decide what is right.
When it comes to therapy sessions, you can always tell them that you are in therapy. If they inquire about what happened during the session, you can politely turn them down. By explaining to them that you’d rather keep the details of your therapy session private, they’ll likely back down.
As long as you set boundaries about your privacy, you can tell your relatives whatever is comfortable for you. Never feel bad about wanting to keep things to yourself. They will understand that you can’t talk about everything in your life.
You should also remember that you don’t have to tell your relatives that you are leaving anything out. Give them vague details and don’t mention the rest. This will prevent pressure to give more information and it’ll prevent others from being hurt that you didn’t want to share.
As an adult, there’ll be many times when there are things to never tell anyone about your life. The decision of what to share and what to hold back is entirely up to you. This guide should help give you an idea of what you may want to consider keeping to yourself.