It’s normal to have quarrels and arguments when sharing your life with someone. However, how do the couples who rarely argue cope? How can these people live day in and day out without getting under each other’s skin?
Many couples always fight and sometimes turn to abusive language and behaviors to vent their rage. When you get to the crux of the issue, many times, it’s just taking out your anger on the one closest to you.
Behaviors of Couples Who Rarely Have Quarrels
If you want a better relationship with your partner, then you can mimic the actions of those relationships that have stood the test of time. What do the couples who beat the divorce rates and remain best friends decades later do that is so right? Here are some of the most common habits of those who have few arguments.
An old rule for marriage is that you should never go to bed angry. If you have an issue, at least make a pact to discuss it in the morning. Things are always better once you’ve slept on them, but you want to make sure that things are good before you close your eyes.
2. Turn To Each Other Not Against One Another
It’s effortless to take your frustrations out on the ones closest to you. Rather than turning away from your partner, you need to run to them with your hurts and problems. Let them help you, and never hurt the one who is there for you when you need them most.
3. Never Keep Secrets
Secrets will cause quarrels and ruin your relationship. Even if it’s painful, you need to make sure you tell your spouse everything.
4. Don’t Lie
When you start telling lies and hiding things from your spouse, then you’re asking for trouble. A half-truth is a whole lie, and it’s the stuff that puts wedges between your love as well as causes arguments.
5. Keep the Lines of Communication Open
When you stop communicating with each other, then you’re allowing doubt to creep in. Make time to talk each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It will help you stay connected and know what’s going on in each other’s life.
6. Always Make Time For Each Other
Life is busy, and there are times where you meet yourself coming and going. However, quarrels will occur when you’re not spending quality time with one another. Outside of work and children, your spouse is of the utmost importance.
7. Have Girls/Guys Night Out
It’s great to spend time with each other, but you also need to spend time with your friends too. Don’t deny the other person time out with their buddies. If you want to keep the quarrels to a minimum, then spending some time apart can help.
8. Don’t Stop Dating
Even if you’ve been together for 50 years, you should never stop dating. Make sure you have a favorite restaurant, movie theater, and places that are special to the two of you.
9. Try to Get Along with In-laws
Your in-laws can be a significant source of contention in your life. For the sake of your relationship, you must try to get along well with others. Even if your mother-in-law is the most challenging person on the planet, then you still need to try to keep the peace.
10. Don’t Live in The Past
The past will destroy you if you keep digging up the bones from past things you’ve burred. If you want to have a bright future with few arguments, you will learn to stop bringing up old sins in your present. Old, emotional baggage will weigh you down.
11. Keep Your Adventurous Nature
If you only live to go to work and come home, then life will be dull. Make time for adventure, even if it’s just for the afternoon. Life is more enjoyable, and there’s less time for arguments when adding adventure to the mix.
Never lose the childlike giddy nature that you have when you’re dating. Sure, things will change as your relationship evolves, but you need to make even the most mundane tasks fun.
13. Be Financially Responsible
One of the most significant issues that causes quarrels in marriages is when one partner is financially responsible, and the other is not. You should set a budget and try to stick within it. Discuss all significant purchases so that the other one is on board with your decisions.
14. Never Deny One Another Intimacy
No matter how upset you get with one another, never deny each other intimacy. Many people have arguments and even cheat when their spouse isn’t taking care of their needs.
15. Share Household Responsibilities
If both people are working, then both need to contribute to the household duties. Things like laundry, dishes, cooking, and taking out the trash can be overwhelming to one person. When you share the home’s mundane tasks, it divides the responsibility, so one isn’t overworked.
16. Keep Things 50/50
When it comes to relationships, it’s all about teamwork. One person can’t be giving 75 percent and the other only 25 percent. Each person must give 50/50 to make sure things work.
17. Remain Best Friends
When you lose the friendship that you’ve built, you will lose your partnership. Intimacy and sexual relationships are not a good foundation. However, when you remain friends, and you share your life, then you will have fewer arguments and more amazing times together.
18. Touch Often
Touching each other is a powerful way to stay connected, according to research. Some touches are meant for the bedroom, but other touches should be used often. Never let the moment pass by without grabbing their hand, hugging them, or giving a kiss. These little acts of affection go a long way to keep your union stable.
19. Celebrate Special Days
Many special holidays come around each year, and then there are birthdays and anniversaries. Keep these dates on the calendar, and make sure you celebrate all these days. Even though things like Valentine’s Day seems to be commercialized, never forget to tell your partner how much you love them.
20. Plan Fun Things Together
Sometimes, you must throw caution to the wind and have fun. Remember when you were dating and how free-spirited you felt? While you need time apart, you also need plenty of time together. When your memories and life is built with each other, then there’s no reason to look outside the relationship for the things you need.
What to Do in An Argument
There will be arguments and quarrels if you’ve been together for any length of time. However, it’s what you do during these times that matter most. Here are some tips on how to handle an argument so that you can resolve the issue and not make matters worse.
•Never Resort to Name Calling
It’s effortless to start using terms like dumb, stupid, idiot, and other choice words when you’re mad at your partner. However, verbal abuse is never okay, no matter how angry or severe the issue.
If the argument is getting very heated, then you need to take ten minutes to calm down. It’s always better to clear your head and calm yourself before you say or do something you will regret.
•Never Hit or Resort to Physical Violence
If someone has made you mad enough that you want to hit them, then you’re too angry. It would help if you composed yourself before you talk any further.
Women often think that it’s not okay for a man to hit, but they can slap or strike a man, and there are no consequences. Sadly, men don’t speak out about wife abuse because of the stigma. Neither man nor woman should ever put their hands on anyone in anger.
•Stick to The Facts
When tempers are flaring, people tend to want to bring up dirty laundry from the past. Try to stick to the matter at hand, and never bring up all the issues you’ve already resolved.
•Be Eager to Forgive
Forgiveness is just as good for you as it is for them. It would help if you tried to forgive no matter what’s been done. If the situation has crossed a line, you still need to forgive. You won’t forget, and it doesn’t mean that you will always stay together, but you will need someone to forgive you one day.
There is no couple alive that doesn’t disagree, but it’s what you do with these disagreements that counts. If you want to prevent quarrels and all the drama that goes along with them, then practice these 20 things that happy couples do.
Marriage takes a lot of work, and every day you must strive to be a better you. If the foundation your relationship is built on is healthy, then you can stand the test of time as a couple. Sure, there will be lots of times you will feel like walking out the door and never coming back.
Thankfully, you will come back because they’re your safe place, and you can’t live without them.