There are very few things in the world greater than true love. Most others don’t love others the way they should. It’s not about being obsessed with someone or whatever else the media tries to feed you about love. Consider these questions to see if you’re ready for true love and would recognize true love signs.

1. Have I been in a relationship long enough with myself to consider anyone else?

If you can’t be alone for very long, that’s not a good sign. You need to be able to fully be comfortable with yourself and like your own company before seeking anyone else’s. If you haven’t been out of a relationship for very long, you need to make sure you’re healthy, which means healing old pain. It also means learning to love yourself. Spend time taking yourself out and treating yourself the right way. Then, you will know who is good for you because they will treat you the way you treat yourself.

2. Do I love them because of how they make me feel?

Love isn’t necessarily about how someone makes you feel. True love is about making a decision to love someone–to seek their benefit regardless of how they make you feel at any moment. That’s a tall order. True love is somewhat of a sacrifice. It’s maturity. Somewhere down the road, your relationship won’t be 50-50. At times, it’ll be 20-80. If it’s real love, you can face this.

3. Am I healthy enough to love another person?

No one is going to be perfect, but you need to, at least, be honest and comfortable with yourself in order to admit that you have a particular issue. After that, you have to be willing to learn a healthier way of dealing with things. That’s all that’s needed, and there is no shame in that. Being in true love means being able to be vulnerable with your partner. Let them see all of you and what needs to be healed. If your pain and fear cause you to act in unhealthy ways, you are going to hurt your partner, and you should not be in a relationship.

4. Do I love myself?

If you don’t genuinely love and accept yourself, you cannot love someone else. When you treat yourself the right way, you are able to treat someone else the right way. If you do not genuinely love and accept yourself, you will not treat your partner with respect, honesty or anything else because you will naturally hurt them with your selfishness.

5. What do I have that is of benefit to another human being?

You don’t enter a relationship to fulfill your own needs. You enter one with the question of whether you have something to benefit your partner, and it’s not about your body or something materialistic. You need to have an open heart, be caring, understanding and have other attributes that would promote and not inhibit the best in your partner. They must have the same for you.

6. Do I value myself enough to be with a healthy person?

If you don’t value yourself enough to be with a healthy person, you will not have true love. Being with someone who is unhealthy ends up being a one-sided relationship where you give everything, and they take everything. It’s not worth it. Besides selling yourself short and experiencing monumental heartache, you will not be doing your partner any favours keeping them involved in a lie. If you really love someone, you will let them face their own consequences so they can get better.

true love

7. Am I ready to be a couple?

There is a certain amount of time you need to devote to being a couple to thrive, but you also must maintain your individuality. It’s a balancing act that requires honest reflection. You want to grow together by bonding and sharing experiences together, but you can’t forget to be who you are separately because it’s healthy to do so, and you also want to have something new to contribute to the relationship years down the road.

8. Am I enough on my own?

If you feel incomplete on your own, you are not ready for a relationship. Do not be with someone who feels incomplete. You should not have to complete anyone. You should merely complement and add to the relationship because you are enough on your own and so should the other person be enough on their own. You are not less than a person. You are a complete person. You will find others have strengths where you are weak, but this does not make you deficient. It simply makes you different.

Real love doesn’t hurt you. It comforts you. It sets you up for success. It doesn’t break you down. Above all, it is real, but you must love yourself and be able to recognize true love signs to have it.