Here is the scenario: You like someone, and have liked them for a long time now. You feel that they are the only ones in the Universe that matter and you do not even so much as steal a glance at another. The very thought of outright telling them how you think they’re attractive to you is borderline nauseating, especially if you do not want to ruin what you have with them right now.
Yet you think about them non-stop and you just cannot wait to see them again, but when you do you are so nervous about how to tell them that you get nauseated again, and the cycle repeats itself – over and over again.
You then look at couples around you and you ask yourself: “How did THEY do it?” The answer is that one of them made their move.
The question now is: how do you make your move without coming across as some kind of pervert or cheesy? We, at Power of Positivity, have five ways to take the plunge correctly. What are they? I thought you would never ask.
5 Ways to Tell Someone They’re Attractive (Without Being A Creep)
1. Make sure compliments are specific to THEM.
A lot of people just go about it in a cavalier fashion, telling their crush that they are “hot”, “fit”, or “beautiful”. You can say that about any person you find attractive, so when you take the time to notice what it is them you find attractive, you are far more likely to receive a positive response from them. There are many things to compliment them on, otherwise why are you attracted to them in the first place?
Let us look at a couple of examples: If their thing is fashion (hopefully you do not become cavalier in this!), comment on how well their get-up looks on them. If they are intellectually gifted, tell them so and why. They might have written an exceptional thesis on their university course, this could be how you open the door. Also, have some fun while you do it. You need not go full on pick-up artist on them, but there is no harm in some light teasing. Remember, you are not R2D2!
2. Tell them about the emotions she has stirred in you.
Go on, be a little emotive. People in general eat it up like a turkey on Christmas! This is a person we’re talking about, right? It shows that you are willing to be vulnerable and that takes guts. This is more of a compliment to anyone than an actual compliment. This is a great way to demonstrate that you are willing to put your neck on the line for someone else. A great way to do it is to take your crush somewhere quiet and slowly and calmly reveal that they have struck a chord with you and tell them why.
Example: “I am just going to come out and say it. I think you are amazing. I really liked the way you helped out that old man at the food court. He dropped his tray and you paid for another meal for him. Only someone special with a big heart does that. And it is not the first time I have noticed this about you, I also noticed…”
3. Be vague.
I know it sounds contradictory and counter-productive to the last two points, but stay with me. Being all vague and mysterious it is a great way to tell someone you find them attractive. You have many forms of vagueness that you can use: ambiguity, omission, classification, uncertainty, approximation, and probability.
– Ambiguity is something having a double meaning. In the movie “Dumb and Dumber”, Harry said to Mary, “Nice set of hooters you’ve got there.” Taken aback, she replied, “I beg your pardon?” He responds, “The owls, they’re beautiful.”
– Omission is leaving out certain parts of information, so you can tell someone part of what is going on and the rest is on “a need-to-know basis”. Example, “I am going to the festival tonight. Do you want to come?”
– Classification is perception of the information being told. When someone is vague, there is no definite classification of how to interpret this information. In this way, they will not know how to process what you have told them.
– Uncertainty means that you are unsure of the information or its candour, which puts doubt in the mind of the recipient of the information. An example can go along the lines of: “I do not know for certain, but…”
– Approximation is an estimate. It can be close to the mark or very obscure. It can also serve as an anchor to keep the estimation around that certain point.
– Probability goes into the statistics territory. The benefit of this little beauty is that it can be used as what might be, using potential as a powerful weapon by way of increasing the recipient’s assessment.
4. Be sincere with what you say.
Nothing is quite so off-putting than hearing a fake compliment. It is like saying that Florida has great ski slopes or the best vodka in the world comes from the Maldives islands. If you are not honest with your words, you will not be taken seriously by them and you will get that “are you for real?” look. Fellas, please do not tell her that she has a nice rack when she is not very well endowed in that area. Ladies, please do not tell him that you noticed how strong he was while unsuccessfully trying to open that jar.
5. Maintain strong eye contact while you talk to them.
Eye contact is the ultimate non-verbal way of interaction. Dogs use their eyes to tell us humans how they are feeling, and so can we. People can lie with their mouths but never with their eyes. It does not matter if it is an apology or if you are conveying desire. When you demonstrate that you are of high self-esteem (and doing that via eye contact is certainly one of the best ways – if not the best way to do so), you will be regarded by the other person as someone with power, and people associate this mental power with being great in bed.
Eye contact portrays confidence and is even a way to have foreplay without taking your clothes off. Michelle Pfeiffer uses it to “choose” Al Pacino for a dance in “Scarface”. Also, take mental note of Paul Walker in the movie “The Fast and The Furious 2” when he uses some really potent eye contact with Eva Mendes while he is driving fast and brakes at the traffic light at just the right time!
You know what they say, there is no time like the present. Now you have the tools not only to change your life, but also to change someone else’s. Lights, camera, action!
(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved
Charger J., “3 Effective Ways to Compliment a Girl”
Seduction Science: http://www.seductionscience.com/2009/effective-compliments/
Other A N., “Vagueness”
Changing Minds: http://changingminds.org/techniques/language/modifying_meaning/vagueness.htm
Barrie Z., “The Lost Art Of The Eye F*ck – Why Eye Contact Is The Ultimate Foreplay”
Elite Daily: http://elitedaily.com/dating/lost-art-eye-fck/1178924/