When you are in a relationship – intimate or friendly – you are taking a chance on someone else. The better you get to know someone and the more chemistry you have, the better the chances are that the relationship will be a positive one. However, despite the longevity and chemistry factors, there is always going to be a chance that the relationship doesn’t work out. As such, there will be an element of unknown in most relationships.
Regardless of the unknown, there are ways you can feel more secure in your relationships, notwithstanding the vulnerability that you may or may not feel.
Here are 5 ways that you can feel more secure in your relationships.
1. Release insecurity
Ask yourself this question: how often do you feel worried, lonely or jealous when in a relationship? If you are honest, chances are that you’ve felt one or more of these feelings at one time or another. As human beings, we fear rejection and isolation from other people because we value acceptance.
That being as it may, being infatuated with insecure thoughts and feelings can irreparably harm a relationship. Your imagination is not your reality and nothing is certain in any relationship. Therefore, you should just ‘let it be’ and let the chips fall where they may.
2. Give the person a chance
When you’ve been emotionally hurt in a relationship, it can be very difficult to start anew with someone else. Emotional hurt can manifest itself in judging a person simply because they ‘remind’ you of someone else.
Perception is not reality – however, your perception can become your reality if you let it. Carrying excess emotional baggage and handing it off to someone else because of what you perceive to be true is not fair – plain and simple. If you ever find yourself doing this, gently remind yourself that no two people are the same. Everyone at least deserves a chance until they show otherwise.
3. Remind yourself that imperfection is OK
Everyone is perfectly imperfect. Have you ever met someone who is perfect in every way, inside and out? Of course not, that is because perfection in a human being doesn’t exist.
Having impossibly high standards for people that you meet in life, hoping that they will meet these standards will almost assuredly result in emptiness and disappointment. There are no perfect people or relationships – only imperfect ones that happen to work for you.
4. Trust until there’s a reason not to
Trust is the foundation to any meaningful relationship. For someone to share their life with you or depend on you in any way demands a sense of trust.
Trust is not easy to give because it makes you vulnerable. However, despite any initial difficulty that you may have giving trust, it helps knowing that the majority of people are well-intentioned. You’ll find that people value the trust you place in them and your relationship will be strengthened.
5. Take care of yourself first
Having good, long-lasting relationships is a great thing. Knowing your fellow human beings in an intimate way is one of the many blessings of your time on this planet. That being said, you should care for yourself first before directing your care towards someone else.
If you lovingly and gently care for yourself, not only will your relationships with others flourish, so will the relationship that takes place within your own heart and mind. Be at peace with yourself and watch your relationships blossom into something truly special.