[dropcap]O[/dropcap]bviously, this world could benefit greatly from more kindness and compassion, because frankly, we live in pretty egocentric times. Nice people bring so much light into the dark places of this world, helping to elevate the vibration of the planet. However, sometimes kindness can be taken to the opposite end of the spectrum, where it becomes almost self-destructive rather than helpful.
Kindness should of course be encouraged and celebrated, but not when it comes at the expense of your own well-being and happiness.
Here are 5 things to expect by being just a little too nice:
1. People will view you as a pushover and take advantage of your kindness.
The moment you start putting others’ needs above your own, people will start to notice, and expect the royal treatment from you at all costs. Having a backbone doesn’t mean you don’t have sympathy for others; it means you have struck a perfect balance between looking out for people while also taking care of your own needs. It’s okay to say no sometimes if you feel overwhelmed or simply don’t agree with others – you have every right to stand up for yourself without being labeled as cruel and unfeeling.
If you don’t think your opinion or well-being matter, people will start to treat you like a doormat. If you don’t believe in your worth, people will walk all over you. It’s important to remember that you have an obligation to look after your own self first, because no one else will fill that role for you.
2. You may have unrealistically high expectations of others.
By bending over backwards for everyone you meet, you may start expecting others to treat you the same way. Unfortunately, not everyone will exude that level of kindness and compassion toward you, and it might leave you disappointed in the end.
Try to remember that you are only responsible for your own karmic energy, and others will have to take ownership of theirs. You can continue to care about others while eliminating expectations about their behavior toward you – this way, the world won’t miss out on all the amazing things you have to offer, and you will free yourself from the burden of expectations.
3. People will start coming to you only when they need something.
Perhaps this is the most draining and saddening aspect of being a truly kind-hearted person. Some people will only see you as a means to an end, or a tool in order to fulfill a goal in their storybook. However, you can easily sniff these people out after a short time, and nip this behavior in the bud before it gets out of hand. Being nice does sometimes feel like more of a curse than a blessing, but remember that people cannot take advantage of you unless you allow it to happen.
Make sure you set clear boundaries with people and let them know when they have crossed the line. You can still provide for others without sacrificing every waking moment for their happiness.
4. You will forget about offering that same kindness to yourself.
When you devote all of your time to caring for others, you might pass yourself up for a good dose of TLC. Make sure to let others know when you just can’t pencil something into your schedule; only commit to obligations that you feel certain you can follow through with. You deserve just as much love and attention as you give others; in fact, without enough self-care, you can easily fall into a state of disarray and depression. Spend time helping others, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
5. You will start attracting needy, demanding, and desperate people into your life.
Remember that in this universe, like attracts like, so not surprisingly, being overly nice will attract those who also seek attention from others. In a way, becoming a doormat for others is selfish, because deep within, you look to others to fill a void that you have not filled yourself. You have not discovered your true self-worth, so others can’t possibly recognize it, either.
Be sure to spend time developing yourself and practicing assertiveness when you need to; this way, you can start attracting people who are also kind-hearted, but don’t demand your love and affection.