So you have a partner who, on the surface, seems absolutely perfect for you like blues skies in the Caribbean. However, you are having to think a little harder as you put the relationship under the microscope, not knowing where to turn. Your Trixie or Trevor may be emotionally unavailable.
At Power of Positivity, we promote happiness and love. Today, we give you a little food for thought with ten things to consider while helping your partner with their unavailability on an emotional level.
THE TOP TEN TIPS FOR DEALING WITH THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
1. Be direct and honest from the get-go.
We know that these people will not just open up and start to talk. Tell Trixie or Trevor how being shut out is a non-starter and be clear about what you want out of the relationship. If they start reciprocating on the direct and honest front, then feel free to move forward with what you have.
2. Find out why they are like this.
Some people believe that putting themselves in a bubble will protect them from potential pain. On the contrary, you want to be with them and make them happy, as that makes you happy. Show that you accept them for who they are and let them know that having foibles is part and parcel of any relationship. Ask pertinent questions as to what happened to make them form the bubble in the first place.
3. Shift the focus if asking questions proves unfruitful.
Do not feel bitter if the last point did not hit the sweet spot. Instead, give Trixie or Trevor some space to think about what you said and squeeze the juice out of life with other people, though not another love interest. By sewing these seeds, you will be stronger and fresher as a person, and it will ripen the relationship.
4. Don’t try to fix them.
Because nothing says “I love you” more than thinking that Trixie or Trevor are like a broken Smartphone screen. Hands up who knew that was sarcastic! In all seriousness, there is nothing you can do. Also, if they do not see that there is a problem, then you know the saying about a certain creek without a paddle. Either accept them as they are or abandon ship.
5. Be patient.
A Czech proverb says that patience brings roses. Check in to the patience hotel because, should you decide that this is the right person for you, your stay will be a long one. By checking out how to get those roses, you must never lose your rag. By giving your partner the hairdryer treatment in the hotel room, the relationship will suffer by not disclosing more things to you. You both will thank the Czechs for this later.
6. Not take things personally.
It is one of those that is easier said than done but when Trixie or Trevor shuts down, they are anxious and oppressing certain negative emotions. This has nothing to do with you. However, being objective in something so personal as a relationship is one of the most difficult things to do in life.
7. Not chase.
If, after having tried to do the above, they have decided to bolt, chasing after them is the worst thing you can do. Again, it is not the easiest thing to do, given your own feelings in the situation. When the both of you calm down and starts missing you, that will be your cue to try again.
8. Be understanding and aware of their feelings.
As we already know, these people are looking to avoid these bad emotions. You may even set off a bad reaction unwittingly, so be in tune with both their emotions as well as your own. Let them do their own thing if that is what they desire. Remember, you can only control what you do and say.
9. Be as communicative as possible.
Being really gentle in your communication
Will be such a trial and tribulation.
But if the emotional mirror is you,
You’ll be sure to break through
And in this there is a cessation.
10. Do not give up until you need to let go.
Give it all you have until you feel you are no longer able to do so. Keep trying so that you know have tried your best for the relationship. If you see that none of what you have done is not enough, you need to leave for your own well-being.
Ratika, “10 Agonizing Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Husband” Mom Junction http://www.momjunction.com/articles/signs-of-an-emotionally-unavailable-husband_00411147/#gref
Shorey H. PhD., “Fear of Intimacy and Closeness in Relationships” Pyschology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-freedom-change/201504/fear-intimacy-and-closeness-in-relationships
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