Falling in love with the wrong woman and being in a bad relationship is effortless. Maybe their beautiful looks or charisma draws you in, but you can’t help how you feel. Remember the old saying, “the heart wants what the heart wants?”
Sadly, it’s true, and men know firsthand that your heart can often lead you astray and cause you to fall for the wrong woman. Just because someone isn’t suitable for you doesn’t mean they’re not a great person. Take, for instance, the mixing of oil and water. Oil is excellent for frying things and baking.
Water is excellent for drinking and a million other uses. However, when you put them together, they don’t mesh well. Could it be that you’re falling in love with the wrong woman because you feel pressure or you’re lonely?
Ten Common Reasons Why Men Fall for the Wrong Woman
Sometimes people tend to bring out toxic characteristics in one another, and everyone has good and bad qualities. There are many reasons you might fall for the wrong woman, and here are just a few.
NOTE: We recognize that women also make similar relationship mistakes. However, they generally do so for slightly different reasons, which we address in a separate article.
1. The Wrong Woman Was There – You Were Lonely
Loneliness can do some horrible things to your mental well-being. How often have you made foolish mistakes because you let miserable feelings dictate your actions? When you’re lonely, making the wrong choice is easy, as it’s one of the worst places to be.
Sometimes falling in love with the wrong woman happens because she’s there. It doesn’t mean she’s the right one for you, but you’ve found someone who met your needs. It’s always important to live by the phrase that it’s better to remain a single person than to be entangled with the wrong one.
2. Your Libido Was Dictating Your Moves
Everyone has essential physical needs. The need for physical touch and companionship is just as real and necessary as the desire to eat. You were created with an intimate side to you, and when you don’t have anyone to help fulfill those desires, it can leave you lacking.
Maybe you’re not into her as much as what she can do for you. When someone is stroking the fires of passion, and you’ve been in a desert place, it’s easy to let feelings get in the mix. Some people can’t separate love from physical acts, as it’s very personal.
However, it’s usually thought that women are the ones who often can’t be intimate without falling in love, but men also struggle with such feelings.
3. The Biological Clock Is Ticking–Driving the Need for a Relationship
Women have a biological clock that dictates their desire to settle down. Once they get beyond a certain age, they start to feel the hands of time winding down on their window of opportunity for kids and a man. While men aren’t the ones who carry a child, you also feel the pangs of aging.
You don’t get pegged with derogatory terms like a spinster, but there’s certainly pressure from within to find someone and settle down. People make foolish mistakes when they feel they’re running out of time. It can make you do things that you never thought possible.
Instead of waiting for the person that completes you and is your other half, you might find yourself falling in love with the easy catch.
4. Pressure from Outside Sources
Though your family and friends love you, there’s often a lot of pressure from them for you to settle down. If your parents want grandchildren, it can be the topic of conversation when they see you. While they mean well and don’t want to hurt you, it’s still painful to have that constant reminder that you haven’t found anyone.
Many guys get into a relationship with someone because they feel pressure. It could be a friend you grew up with who is also available. If you’re feeling peer pressure from friends who’ve already settled down and parents who are tired of waiting, jumping into a situation that’s not the best for you is effortless.
5. Your Subconscious Mind Draws You to the Wrong Woman
It’s often been said that women like the proverbial “bad boy.” They know it’s the person that’s probably going to hurt them as they’re not going in the same direction in life. However, they can’t help falling in love because this person triggers something good or bad inside them.
Men are the same way when it comes to choosing the wrong woman. They know from the start that she’s not a good fit, and it will likely end badly, but they can’t help but feel this gravitational pull toward the wrong woman. She’s nothing you need, but you can’t help yourself because you’re being sucked in like a moth to the flame.
6. Hoping She’ll Make You Feel Better
Sometimes you get into a bad place and need a way out. Sure, women want a superhero that will save the day, but men also look for a lady that can help them get to a better place. According to Greater Good Science Center at Berkley University, people often romanticize the Western idea of marriage, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
The thought that one person can complete you and meet all your needs is a far stretch. Life is a kaleidoscope of drama; sometimes, you feel lost and scared in this big world. Things are much easier when you have a partner who’s helping you and encouraging you every day, but you can’t put that much pressure on one person.
Remember, she has needs, too, and she can’t create happiness for you. Many men fall for someone hoping she can save the day, but you will find that it’s usually the wrong person and only worsens matters.
7. Feeling Unworthy, Undeserving, Or Not Good Enough
If you have low self-esteem, you might settle for someone who isn’t right for you because you don’t think you can do any better. Entering a dissatisfying relationship to have someone on your arm is not the answer. Maybe you’re exhausted from the search for Ms. Right, and you don’t want to be alone anymore.
These feelings of desperation can cause you to make poor decisions. Before you get into any relationship, you must first love yourself. How can you expect anyone else to love and care for you when you don’t even do those things?
According to an article published by Southern Nazarene University, you learn to value your very existence when you love yourself. Reaching this place allows for growth physically, mentally, and spiritually. You will notice that you have more self-confidence and are happier. However, the most important thing that happens when you love yourself is the ability to love others.
8. It’s Your Only Goal in Life
Falling in love with the wrong woman may occur when you have no other goals in life. Your very existence is to go to work and find someone to love. You’re putting much unnecessary pressure on yourself, and you can’t expect to make good choices under so much stress.
It’s often been said that love happens when you least expect it. When you stop looking, this is when the person who’s meant to be with you finds you. When you’re on the trail of a lady like a bloodhound, you might find someone who isn’t the right match for you.
9. Ignoring All the Red Flags That You Met the Wrong Woman
Sometimes you make foolish choices and ignore red flags because you don’t want to see what’s right in front of your face. Maybe she’s lied to you more times than you can count, she’s not very dependable, and she’s had more relationships than you can trust, but you’re falling fast regardless. You know she’s not good for you, but you don’t make any attempt to turn around.
Do you ever feel like you’re just asking for trouble? You know what they need, but sometimes the constant cravings for something exciting and different cloud your judgment.
10. Thinking You Can Change the Wrong Woman into Mrs. Right
So, she’s not perfect and has some flaws, but you think you can change her into the woman of your dreams. Sadly, this usually only works in movies. If she comes with emotional baggage and many other issues from her past, the chances of changing her are slim, as she’s the wrong woman.
People naturally change over time, and it’s not to say that your love can’t make her a better person. However, you need to have realistic expectations regarding life and love. If she’s had an issue with being unfaithful in all her previous relationships, she will likely remain the same way.
There’s something fundamentally wrong under the surface, and she needs help beyond what you can provide.
Final Thoughts on Choosing the Wrong Woman
Don’t beat yourself up too badly if you’ve chosen the wrong woman in your past. Life is about learning and growing and falling in love is an experience you’ll never forget. Each relationship makes you better, and you’ve learned valuable lessons about what you don’t want and need. Remember to watch for those red flags and use your mind and heart when choosing a partner.