How would you describe someone who has confidence? Are they self-assured, or do they know and feel when they’re their best?

Every person is different. So having assurance and confidence in yourself means something different to each person.

For instance, you may wake up in the morning and love what you see looking back at yourself in the mirror. However, another person doesn’t even consider that as confidence. They would see someone who goes to work, does a good job, and lives to face another day as assurance.

The good news is that there is no right or wrong way to show assurance. Yet, there are ways that you can increase your self-confidence and learn from those who have this natural gift.

Thirteen Things the Self-Assured Person Does

Maybe you’re a self-assured person, or perhaps you’re working on becoming more convinced. However, here are some habits that the assured person does without even realizing.

1. They Won’t Stay in Abusive or Unhealthy Relationships

The self-confident person won’t find themselves in an abusive relationship or won’t stay there long. They know they can take care of themselves, so they don’t depend on anyone. Did you know that many people stay in an abusive or unsatisfying relationship because they fear they won’t be able to make it financially?

While that’s a lackluster reason to stay with someone, it was pretty commonplace in times past. However, in today’s society, both men and women bring home a paycheck, so the reason to stay with someone based on money matters has declined.

Consequently, the person who is assured and confident in themselves knows that they will make it come what may. So, they will not subject themselves or their children to a harmful situation in fear they will struggle. This person loves themselves enough to leave.

2. They’re Goal Oriented

It’s essential to have goals and to work towards accomplishing them. Goals can be described as short and long term, but both types are essential. While most people see these challenges as hard work, the self-assured person looks at them with both excitement and optimism.

3. They’re Not Afraid to Be Assertive

The ability to stand up for yourself is a skill that everyone should cultivate. However, someone who is confident knows their value. They can be pretty assertive if the situation warrants.

With each use of their assertive nature, they gain a bit more confidence in their abilities. For instance, assume your job requires that everyone put in a mandatory ten hours of overtime this week. Knowing that you have children and responsibilities outside of your job, you are assured enough to voice opposition.

While others are afraid to speak up because they fear losing their job, you don’t care. You know that you’re a vital part of the job market and your skills are highly desired. So, in return, the boss listens to your reasons and understands that it’s an unfair call to make overtime mandatory.

It’s also common to see the confident person as a leader, as they have the drive and skillset that makes people listen and follow their lead.

4. They Live Life Without Regrets

Part of developing a good sense of yourself is learning to make those tough decisions. You use rationale to make your choices and trust that you will make the right call. For instance, if you go shopping and want to buy a pair of leggings as they’re super stylish, your rational side tells you that you will look better in jeans.

When you get to the office, you might see others wearing oh-so-comfortable leggings and become jealous. However, those who have confidence in their decisions remind themselves of the exact reason why they didn’t buy that pair of pants. They live life without regrets because they make wise and informed choices.

5. They Embrace Learning New Things

Learning new skills is both fun and good for your brain. However, the assured person knows that they can also help to boost their confidence. Whether it’s taking on quilting, learning how to code computers, or grasping karate, assurance comes with each new mastered task.

While most people think of the fun aspects of these hobbies, someone with confidence gives it their all. These individuals know that one day they might be able to use these skills to impress a boss or to get a leg up in the job market.

6. They Embrace Constructive Criticism

Getting negative feedback can be very crushing to some folks. However, when you’re self-assured, you know that there are bits of truth in these statements that can be helpful. According to Indeed, one of the authorities in the job market, there will be both positive and negative aspects of criticism.

The assured person stops their initial reaction and takes time to digest the statement. They weed through the harmful stuff to take the parts that they can work on. They are strong enough to admit they need to improve and determined sufficient to make such improvements.

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7. They Value the Thoughts and Opinions of Others

It’s often thought that the confident person will be dominating, and this includes conversations. However, these folks know how to listen quite well. They know that other opinions are valuable.

They will listen closely because they are ever eager to learn new things. You can discover a lot by listening to others and hearing their thoughts and opinions too.

8. They Share Successes Without Bragging

There’s a big difference between someone who brags a lot and someone who lets you know their skill set. For instance, Thomas and Keith work in the same office. Both are well versed in computer programming.

Consequently, when there’s an issue, people prefer to call Keith over Thomas. The reason is that Keith gets the job done and showcases his skills without bragging. Coworkers know how skillful he is as he often shows them tips and tricks to make their life easier.

Thomas, on the other hand, constantly brags about his education. He often acts like everyone else is beneath him. He is unrelatable, and people feel odd around him. The confident person shares their knowledge with others to enhance their lives, and they don’t need to brag.

9. They Know Kindness Increases Their Inner Strength

People often think that self-assured folks are arrogant and self-absorbed. However, nothing could be further from the truth. They know that kindness does wonders for their inner strength, and it makes them better people.

These folks often go out of their way to be kind to others, and they’re confident enough in their abilities to help others when they’re down.

10. They Keep Their Purpose in Mind

Everyone has a purpose and a destiny here on earth. While some folks get easily sidetracked by the little things, the self-assured keep their purpose in mind. Jack Hawley wrote a powerful book entitled Reawakening the Spirit in Work.

In his writings, he states that your purpose is a place where your talent and values live. While they’re there all the time, they need you to arrive. Many people spend so much time living in a basement apartment that they never consider there’s a vacant upstairs penthouse that’s calling their name.

Thankfully, the purpose-filled person knows that there’s more out there for them, and they won’t settle for mediocrity.

11. They Trust They Will Say and Do the Right Things

Did you know that your mind wanders naturally? It’s been said that you’re only aware of what’s going on about 50 percent of the time. It’s hard to pay attention to everything that’s going on around you, but those who have confidence in themselves know that even when their mind is daydreaming, they will say and do the right things.

12. They Uplift People and Never Gossip

The confident person has little time for idle chatter, so you won’t likely see them engaging in gossip. They would instead focus on their aspirations, dreams, and goals for the future. They tend to be more positive than negative, so they try to avoid negative things like gossiping.

13. They Ask for Help

While this person is assured of their abilities, they’re also sure when they’ve taken on too much. They know that it’s impossible to do everything by themselves, so they have no qualms about asking for help when needed. Unlike many others, they don’t see needing help as a threat to their status or position.

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Final Thoughts on The Self-Assured Person

Do you feel that you’re confident, or is this an area you need to work on? Becoming self-assured is born into some folks, but others must work extremely hard to achieve this status. However, by incorporating a few things from this list into your life, you will soon find that it’s much easier for you to gain confidence and live a better purpose-driven life.