20 Habits That Keep Couples Out of A Relationship Rut

20 Habits That Keep Couples Out of A Relationship Rut

relationship rutLifestyle

Relationships require hard work! From finding new ways to communicate in a healthy way to carving out time to spend together, digging out of a relationship rut takes a lot out of you.

If you’re stuck in a relationship rut and hope to find your way out, then you will enjoy reading these twenty tips.

20 Ways to End a Relationship Rut

Use these tips to break this negative cycle. No couple wishes to feel stuck!

relationship rut1. Break the Relationship Rut By Opening Up to Share Secrets

In an article from February 2021, Utah State University reminded couples that inside jokes shared in person or by text could make their partner smile.  The power of an inside joke or secret is that it helps bring two people together. If you’re looking for a way out of a relationship rut, sharing secrets can spice things up.

Create a secret ritual or unique memory with your partner that is just between the two of you. This way, you’ll break out of your routine as you try something new.

Try sneaking away at a party or event to get some alone time together. The goal is to create a lasting bond or practice that will rekindle your original feelings for each other.


2. Spend Time Admiring Others

Another mistake couples make is trying to ignore their attraction to others. As human beings, it’s natural and healthy to be attracted to other people. Instead of trying to hide this information, share it.

Theresa E. DiDonato advised in Psychology Today that this attraction is normal, but she also reminds couples that fidelity is key for a successful partnership.

By telling your significant other about others you’re attracted to, this newfound honesty could grow your bond like never before. These feelings will also help to rekindle your attraction to each other as you work to keep the spark alive between you two.

3. Talk About Your First Date

There’s magic in the moment of your first date. Even if you’ve told the story hundreds of times, reliving those very first moments will help you both remember why you fell for each other in the first place.

Think about how you both met, where you went, and how it all felt. By recalling these exciting feelings, you’ll immediately get your imagination and emotions working overtime.

4. Spice Things Up in the Kitchen to Ease a Relationship Rut

While routine is part of our lives, it can cause things to get old quickly. To spice up your relationship, try stepping into the kitchen. Switching up your meals will spark something new in your relationship.

Shake up your routine by thinking about new ways to eat together. Whether you have a romantic meal outside, take a picnic to the beach, or cook a five-course meal, eating together is one of the more primal ways to get closer to your partner.

5. Dream Together

Manifesting and envisioning a future together is something that brings us closer to our partners. Couples typically spend their first few months together dreaming big and planning for the future.

By creating plans and sharing fantasies of their future, couples boost their dopamine levels and bond with one another even more.

If you’re in a relationship rut, it’s time to start daydreaming. Share your biggest dreams and watch the romance return.

6. Sleep Separately to Improve a Relationship Rut (Yep, You Read That Right!)

Distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder! If you’re feeling far away from your partner, it may help gain even more physical distance.

Whether you sleep on the other side of the bed or you go to a different room, shaking up your nighttime routine can help kick you out of a rut. Sleeping alone will help you remember just how much you enjoy being next to your partner.

An article published by Dr. Sara Allen, a marriage counselor, says this about changing your sleeping arrangement:

“A lack of sleep can cause relationship issues, including resentment if you are being woken up by snoring. Not getting enough sleep can also cause irritability and fatigue, and if you have other medical issues, lack of sleep can make them worse.”

7. Redesign the Bedroom

Your bedroom’s layout has more of an effect on your relationship than you think. If you’re tired of the way your bedroom looks and feels, this can easily translate into how you feel about your partner as well.

Experts suggest revamping your room by making a few adjustments every month. Consider switching out the color of your lights, changing your furniture, buying new pillows, and adding other creative touches to spice things up.

8. Practice Gratitude to Break Free of a Relationship Rut

Saying “thank you” is more powerful than you know.

Gratitude has a way of completely shifting our perspectives. In long-term relationships, it’s easy to take your partner for granted. Intentionally practicing gratitude every day will help both of you reset your moods and remind you two why you fell for each other.

With just a simple “thank you,” you’ll see a new resurgence of attraction and intimacy in your relationship.

9. Get Dressed Up

The jitters everyone feels on the first few dates help both partners feel so close to one another. While you may still get gussied up for special occasions, it’s easier to start putting little to no effort into your outfits after a few years together.

Research shows that switching out of your casual clothes and opting for something a little more exciting may rekindle your romance.

10. Get a Housekeeper

Housekeeping duties can suck the life out of your relationship. The realities of living together can make it difficult to spend quality time with one another.

Inside of going on date night, it may be more tempting to sit at home tackling the dishes or doing the laundry.

Dianne Grande, Ph.D., calls date night “not a luxury, a necessity.”

Permit yourself to enjoy each other’s company by hiring someone else to take on your responsibilities. Whether you hire someone regularly or once in a while, this tip will make it easier to feel calm and relaxed around your significant other.

stagnant relationship11. Be a Bit More Unpredictable

Unpredictability can keep things exciting in your relationship.

While you shouldn’t completely change your personality, you can make unpredictability part of your relationship by switching your daily schedules. For example, if your partner typically eats lunch around 12, consider surprising them every so often with their favorite meal.

12. Get Sweaty Together

Your well-being dictates your level of interest in romance, according to a 2019 article in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

Thus, working out and promoting a healthy lifestyle can draw you nearer to your love.

Couples that workout together often find that their shared experience brings them closer together. Consider taking workout classes together or finding exercises you can both do at the same time.


In addition to the time spent together exercising, having your partner by your side can motivate you both to reach your fitness goals even faster. Moreover, working out together will kickstart your libido and boost your mood–all important factors when rekindling romance.

13. Get Out of a Relationship Rut by Volunteering Together

Volunteering can take your relationship to the next level. Altruism is important in growing one’s understanding of the world and themselves.

By volunteering together, you’ll be positively contributing to your community while enjoying an experience that bonds the two of you.

Look for new opportunities to volunteer with your partner. Whether you go out at your local church or walk dogs from the shelter, doing good together will do wonders for your relationship.

14. Go on a Road Trip

Hitting the road with someone else is one of the fastest ways to grow a bond. If you and your partner are up for it, consider hopping in the car for an impromptu road trip.

Whether you travel just a few miles for a staycation or try a cross-country trip, this journey will help you both grow. With several hours in a car together, you’ll both have no choice but to spend quality time together.

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