“When we can identify what activates in us that causes us to retreat from being vulnerable and loving, we can start to understand why we act the way we do.” – Dr. Lisa Firestone
Love is what makes the world go around. Scientists also insist that people need love to survive. From family to friends to romantic relationships, love is all around us. We receive it every single day. So, when it comes to love, it’s impossible to imagine someone rejecting the love that’s offered to them. Who would ever want to reject love? Most people don’t realize all the ways that they are subconsciously rejecting the love that surrounds them. Knowing how you reject love will make it easier for you to start accepting it and start changing your life around. Here are all the ways you’re rejecting love, even if you’re not aware of it.
4 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Rejecting Love Without Realizing It
1. Starting arguments
When people feel too vulnerable in a relationship, it isn’t uncommon for them to start picking fights with their significant other. Most people experience arguments or mild disagreements in a relationship. This is a natural part of having a relationship. But, when someone is rejecting love, they start picking fights that don’t need to happen. Not only do people rejecting love start fights, but they also don’t let arguments resolve naturally. In order to start accepting love, it’s important to take a step back and get a reality check. If you find yourself starting arguments, look at the reasons why. You may find that you’re subconsciously trying to reject love.
2. Shutting down emotionally
How is anyone supposed to accept love without being in tune with their emotions? Shutting down emotionally is one of the ways many people reject love without even realizing it. When you start to feel vulnerable, cutting yourself off from your emotions may seem like the right thing to do to keep you safe because “we often convince ourselves that we don’t care that much about the relationship,” adds Dr. Lisa Firestone Ph.D.
But rejecting love will only ensure that you can’t experience it. Take notice of when you shut down emotionally. What triggers it? Take steps to be more open and honest with your partner. When you allow yourself to feel your emotions, you’ll be able to accept the love in your life.
3. Settling for less than you deserve
We don’t always date the people that are going to treat us the way we deserve. That’s just a fact of life. But when you continue to settle for less, you’re rejecting the love of all the people who would treat you the way you deserve. This is usually due to someone feeling like they don’t deserve the kind of happiness that they desire most. Take a look at your past relationships and see where they don’t live up to what you deserve. Now, imagine that someone you love was constantly settling for less. What would you tell them? Try to take the advice that you would give a loved one and allow yourself to seek out the type of relationship you rightly deserve.
4. Comparing self to others
When we compare ourselves to other people, we often come away feeling less than our best. But what most people don’t know is that comparing yourself to other people is a way of rejecting love. When you compare yourself to other people, you’re allowing yourself to wallow in low self-esteem. And of course, when you have low self-esteem, you tend to reject the love that comes into your life. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on yourself. Focus on what you’re good at, and what makes you a unique person. Everyone has something to offer other people, and you have good things to bring to every relationship. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll be better equipped to start accepting love, instead of rejecting it.
Do any of these things sound like you? Are you someone who picks fights in your relationship? Or maybe you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people? If so, you’re most likely rejecting love. Thankfully, there are ways to start accepting love instead of rejecting it. If you’re honest with yourself, and recognize these love-rejecting habits, you can start making some real changes. Everyone deserves to feel love. Don’t be afraid to open up emotionally to your partner. Never accept less than what you deserve in a relationship. These are the first steps anyone can take to allow love back into their lives.