If these behaviors annoy you on your first date, they do not bode well for your future relationship.

A first date is a bit like being out at sea, casting your line into the vast ocean of dating, hoping to reel in a catch worth keeping. The sea is teeming with potential partners. Each is a unique fish with quirks and colors. But not every fish is a keeper–some are so small they’re dealbreakers. So you’ll want to gently release them back into the water, wishing them well on their journey.

Today, we will help you discern the keepers from the ones you want to toss back. Welcome to your guide to navigating first dates’ thrilling yet unpredictable waters.

This article will explore 25 first date dealbreakers that, if spotted early, can save you from a potential shipwreck down the line. So, let’s set sail together on this journey of love and relationships, armed with positivity and a keen eye for red flags.

Don’t Ignore These 25 First Date Dealbreakers

Proceed with caution if you see these red flags on a first date. They may mean you are incompatible with this prospective new love interest.

first date dealbreakers

1. Lack of Respect on the First Date:

Respect is the cornerstone of any relationship and should be evident from the get-go. Consider this a significant dealbreaker if your date disrespects you, the waitstaff at dinner, or anyone else during your time together. Everyone deserves to receive kindness and respect. So a lack of it is a clear sign of potential future issues.

2. Dominating the Conversation:

While sharing about oneself on a first date is essential, a balance should exist in the conversation. If your date monopolizes the discussion, leaving no room to express yourself, it could indicate a lack of interest in your thoughts and feelings. Remember, a successful relationship thrives on mutual communication and understanding.

3. Inconsistent Behavior:

Consistency is vital in building trust. If your date’s words don’t match their actions, or if they show signs of erratic or unpredictable behavior, it might be a red flag. Trust your instincts and observe their actions with a keen eye.

4. Excessive Negativity on the First Date:

While everyone has off days, a date that constantly dwells on the negative might be a dealbreaker. Positivity and optimism are vital for a healthy relationship. If your date spends the evening complaining or criticizing, it could indicate a negative outlook on life. 

5. Too Much Focus on Physical Appearance:

While physical attraction is essential, it shouldn’t be the sole focus of your date’s attention. It might suggest a lack of depth or interest in emotional connection if your new love interest seems overly concerned with your looks or their own.

6. Disinterest in Your Life:

A date with little to no interest in getting to know you better is a clear dealbreaker. Genuine interest in your life, hobbies, and experiences is a sign of a potential partner who values you as an individual.

7. Ignoring Boundaries:

If your date doesn’t respect your boundaries or makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s a significant red flag. Everyone has the right to feel safe and respected. You should not overlook any violation of this behavior.

8. Dishonesty on the First Date:

Honesty is the foundation of any strong relationship. If your date lies or seems to be hiding something, it could indicate a lack of integrity and potential trust issues in the future. In the worst cases, lying could be pathological.

9. Lack of Future Vision:

While it’s not necessary to discuss long-term plans on a first date, a complete lack of future vision could be a dealbreaker. If your new potential partner seems aimless or lacks ambition, it might suggest a lack of commitment or direction in life.

10. Revealing Unresolved Past Relationships on the First Date:

It could indicate unresolved issues if your date spends much time talking about their ex or seems hung up on a past relationship. Both partners need to be emotionally available and ready to move forward together.

11. Lack of Empathy:

Empathy is the innate ability to understand and share in the feelings of others. It could be a significant dealbreaker if your date seems indifferent to your feelings or struggles to show compassion. Empathy is crucial in a relationship, fostering understanding and emotional connection.

12. Overly Controlling Behavior:

Consider it a red flag if your date tries to control your actions, decisions, or even your plans. A healthy relationship rests on a solid foundation of mutual respect and freedom, not control. 

13. Disregarding Your Opinions on the First Date:

A date who dismisses your opinions or belittles your beliefs is not showing you the respect you deserve. Everyone is entitled to their unique thoughts and feelings. The person must respect these views, even if they differ from your date’s.

first date dealbreakers

14. Excessive Jealousy Exhibited on the First Date:

While a small amount of jealousy happens in many relationships, excessive jealousy, especially early on, is a red flag. This behavior could indicate insecurity and lead to controlling behavior in the future.

15. No Sense of Humor:

While humor is subjective, the ability to laugh and not take everything too seriously is essential in a relationship. If your date doesn’t have a sense of humor or doesn’t appreciate yours, it could indicate compatibility issues that could haunt you later.

16. You Notice a Lack of Common Interests on the First Date:

While opposites can attract, having common interests is vital for a lasting relationship. If your date shows no interest in your hobbies or doesn’t share any activities you enjoy, it could be a potential dealbreaker. Shared interests can provide enjoyable experiences and strengthen your bond as a couple.

17. Unreliability:

If your date is late, cancels at the last minute, or fails to keep their word, it could indicate a lack of reliability. Trust comes from consistency and dependability, which could be a significant dealbreaker.

18. Bad Manners on the First Date:

Good manners are a sign of respect. They reveal someone’s consideration for other people. It could be a red flag if your date exhibits bad manners, such as talking with their mouth full, interrupting you while speaking, or being rude to others.

19. Overly Critical or Judgmental:

It could indicate a negative mindset if your date is overly critical or judgmental of you, themselves, or others. Unfair judgment could lead to a toxic environment, so it’s worth considering as a dealbreaker.

20. Lack of Personal Growth:

Another of the potential dealbreakers is if your date shows no interest in personal growth or self-improvement. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be committed to growing individually and as a couple. Lack of personal growth could lead to stagnation and dissatisfaction in the long run.

21. Inappropriate Social Media Behavior:

How a person behaves online can be just as telling as offline behavior. It could be a significant dealbreaker if your date engages in inappropriate or disrespectful behavior on social media, such as trolling, cyberbullying, or oversharing personal information.

22. Disrespect for Your Career or Ambitions:

If your date belittles your career, mocks your ambitions, or doesn’t support your professional goals. A supportive partner should respect and encourage your aspirations, not undermine them.

23. Inability to Apologize:

Everyone makes mistakes, but acknowledging them and apologizing is crucial. If your date can’t admit when they’re wrong or refuses to apologize, it could indicate a lack of maturity and emotional intelligence.

24. Overdependence:

While it’s natural to lean on each other in a relationship, excessive dependence on you for their happiness, self-esteem, or decision-making is a potential dealbreaker. A healthy relationship requires a balance of dependence and independence.

25. Disinterest in Your Friends and Family:

Your loved ones are an integral part of your life. It could be a significant red flag if your date shows no interest in getting to know them or dismisses their importance to you. A supportive partner should value your relationships with friends and family.

first date dealbreakers

Final Thoughts on Identifying Red Flags and Dealbreakers on the First Date

Remember, first dates are about impressing the other person and observing and understanding them. These dealbreakers do not make you overly critical but should help you make informed decisions about your romantic future

After all, the power of positivity in love comes from knowing what you deserve and not settling for less. So love yourself first. Stay positive, stay respectful, and most importantly, stay true to yourself. Happy dating–and watch out for dealbreakers!