How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust

How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust



We all want to fall in love. Some of us already have, while many of us are looking for that one person that will make such a profound impact on our hearts that we will never be the same.

Either way, how do you know if it’s truly love or just lust?

Sometimes our heart and mind get so caught up that it’s hard to tell the difference. In the moment, we feel so amazing that sometimes we just don’t care. But, it’s important to be careful. A broken heart can be devastating. Especially if you allow yourself to fall for the wrong person (in that case check out Karen Salmansohn’s book “Prince Harming Syndrome”). Or, if you develop strong feelings for someone who doesn’t desire the same level of commitment.

Any and all situations can arise, but we specifically want to help you determine if it’s truly special or just lust.


How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust

First, it’s important to know exactly what both are and what they aren’t.

Real, true, unconditional LOVE is an intense feeling of affection – it’s fondness, warmth, attachment, and endearment in the most intense and powerful way.  True feelings of adoration form a strong emotional attachment. It withstands troubles, problems, imperfections and upset.


Lust is simply a very strong sexual desire. Lust revolves completely around attraction and sex. While lust is needed for love, the opposite is not true. It can feel very powerful and usually, it does. 😉  But, it cannot withstand time. It’s not unconditional and it will fade.

This may contribute to today’s divorce rate. You’ve got to be careful not to allow lust to dominate the relationship when love is truly the driving force for a beautiful, lasting relationship.


To fall for that special person, you must be willing to accept that person at their very best and worst. You get to know them fully and see them for who they truly are. You learn about their past and talk about their aspirations for the future. If together you see yourself as a perfect fit and can truly visualize your life together, you may be falling in love.

When you truly fall, it’s mutual. You are both head over heels for each other. Falling for someone doesn’t mean your life will always be easy. Because, truthfully, it can get tough. But, you can be tough together (trust me you’ll need to be).


You know you’re in love when you. . .

– Fall in LOVE with someone who absolutely adores YOU – who cherishes you fully and embraces your imperfections.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you can’t stop thinking about. 😉

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you love with your whole heart.

– Fall in LOVE with someone that you think is absolutely, all-over-the-place SEXY – mind, body & soul!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who cares about your happiness and listens openly about your feelings.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you admire and who admires you.


– Fall in LOVE with someone that finishes your sentences and compliments who you are.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you feel like you’re the most amazing person in the whole world.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who has strengths in areas that you need improvement. Many of the best relationships are people who are complete opposites.

Inspiration to your Inbox


– Fall in LOVE with someone who you get lost in conversation with (for hours at a time)!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you want to be a better person and can help you do that.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who WANTS to meet your closest friends and family, and then accepts you even after that (haha).


– Fall in LOVE with someone who you hold a deep romantic passion for. In fact, they are the only one you desire!

The TRUTH is when you choose your partner, you aren’t choosing lust or authentic feelings of adoration. You are creating a balance of the two. Both are needed for a successful, long-lasting relationship. Cheers to you and your relationship success! <3

Join the Conversation with Kristen:

So, I’ve been married to my partner for life, Christopher,  for over 15 years now (updated 2019). I’ve learned a lot, but I am always open to learning more. In a comment below, finish the sentence and share your love wisdom. . .

Finish the sentence: “Fall in LOVE with someone . . . “



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