Marriages and long-term relationships come with hardship and strain sometimes. While relationship problems are common, you might worry about having a disloyal spouse. This worry can be overwhelming, and you might search for answers about whether your partner is cheating.
Current technology and social media make it easy for people to have affairs. They can easily find someone else to engage with, and it’s easy to be secretive, too. While it might be easy for a disloyal partner to hide the obvious signs, there will be behavioral changes, too.
Knowing the signs of a disloyal spouse can help you figure it out and stop wondering. If you can identify the signs and intervene early on, it can prevent the other relationship from escalating. However, if it has already escalated, you can use this chance to decide what to do next.
Disloyalty doesn’t only come in the form of another physical relationship. Emotional relationships with someone else are just as essential to address. Either way, it puts a strain on your relationship and can change everything.
Fifteen Red Flags of a Disloyal Spouse
Do you see any of these behaviors?
1. Changes in Expenses or Money Issues
When your spouse is disloyal, you might notice sudden changes in spending habits. Look at the credit card statements and see if you notice anything unusual. Unexplained cash withdrawals from the bank account are also a bad sign.
While financial stress is common in marriage, unexplained changes aren’t. Don’t hesitate to investigate money issues, especially if you think your partner is up to something sneaky.
Likewise, if money starts to become a source of tension between the two of you, it could be a red flag. If your partner stops planning for large purchases with you, such as a trip or buying a house, there could be a reason. Asking about the spending changes can offer some insight, but a disloyal spouse might not give you an answer.
2. There’s a Noticeable Change in Communication
Anytime there’s a communication breakdown, it’s a bad sign of an underlying issue. If your partner stops communicating or fighting with you, there’s a reason they don’t want to talk. Whether they don’t want you asking questions or don’t care anymore, it’s a sign that something is wrong.
A disloyal spouse will often exhibit sights on stonewalling, including refusing to listen, respond, or accept what you’re saying. Sometimes they’ll change the subject to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with you. Other times they’ll leave the room without saying anything at all.
Pay attention to excuses they give for not being able to talk. You should also make a note if they flip the conversation and start accusing you of something instead. Additionally, they might use dismissive body language like rolling their eyes or closing them while you speak.
3. They Act Weird with Their Electronic Devices
People who cheat typically use their phones or other electronic devices to communicate with another person. If your partner becomes unusually protective over their electronic devices, it’s a bad sign. They will likely start spending more time on the devices, too.
Their technology usage might change subtly, or you might notice more obvious red flags. They might start using unusual apps, setting up new accounts, or clearing their history regularly. New social media accounts with no friends or activity are a bad sign, too.
You might also notice that your partner starts deleting messages without explanation. They’ll likely only delete messages from certain people, even as the messages continue to roll in. It’s a reason for alarm anytime your partner hides messages to or from someone.
4. They Stop Saying “I Love You.”
If your spouse stops using these words, it’s a clear sign of an affair. Your partner might have another reason for not saying they love you, but if they can’t explain, it’s likely because of another person. Their sudden change might leave you feeling afraid and confused, but it still won’t prompt them to say it.
5. Their Friends Become Uncomfortable Around You
If your spouse is unfaithful, their friends will probably know about it before you. Pay attention to how their friends act around you and, if anything has changed without an apparent reason, you might want to take it as a bad sign. They might be uncomfortable lying to you, and it’ll make them feel weird.
In extreme situations, you might ask their friends if something is going on that you should know about. If you ask and the friends can’t look you in the eye, they’re likely hiding something.
6. They Suddenly Want to Know Where You Are All the Time
If your partner wasn’t always curious about your location before, but they are now, it could be a sign. They want to know where you are to avoid getting caught with the other person.
Your partner might want to know so that they know how much time they have to sneak around. Or, they might be curious because they’re meeting with the other person in public and don’t want to see you. If it’s a new behavior, your partner wanting to know where you are might not be for a good reason.
7. There Are Times When You Can’t Reach Them
It’s a bad sign if your partner ever disappears and you don’t know where they are. They might be unreachable because they are with another person and don’t want to tell you. They likely won’t answer your calls or text messages while with the person, so they’ll avoid you instead.
Once you finally reach them, their explanation for the unreachability will be inconsistent. Your partner will try to give you the same story each time, but they’ll offer conflicting information if you press them. It might be inconsistency regarding where they were and what they were doing, or it’ll be regarding how well they know someone.
8. They Keep Complaining About Being Tired
It’s exhausting trying to balance two relationships, especially when they have to cover their tracks. If your partner is disloyal, they might feel emotionally and physically drained by it. Their complaints of being tired will stand out because you likely won’t be able to see a valid reason for it.
9. A Disloyal Spouse Might Tell You They Want Space
When infidelity is an issue in a marriage or long-term relationship, it creates a barrier between you. If your partner suddenly says they want space rather than desiring the closeness they once desired, it’s a bad sign.
While sometimes people want space for other reasons, they should tell you what it is. If your partner has no explanation for wanting space, they might be having another relationship.
10. A Sudden Change in Sleep or Work Patterns
Having an affair requires a time investment that results in a lifestyle change. Your partner might say they have to work late or go in earlier than usual.
Likewise, they might start sleeping at different times to accommodate their other relationship. Sometimes, they’ll come to bed later than usual as a way of avoiding intimacy with you, too.
11. They Become Overly Critical
Disloyal partners don’t want to feel bad about their behavior, so they’ll find ways to justify it. They might convince themselves that you deserve the disloyalty, and they’ll look for reasons why.
When they do this, they will likely start being overly critical of you and the things you do. They might criticize your appearance, work ethic, or anything else they know will get to you. If your partner suddenly has a problem with everything about you, it’s not a good sign.
12. They Falsely Accuse You of Cheating
A disloyal partner will often accuse the innocent person of being unfaithful. They project their actions onto you so that they can feel better about their bad behavior. The cheater wants to imagine that everyone else is just as guilty as they are, resulting in false accusations.
Sometimes the false accusations come from the other person’s insecurities. Even if they haven’t done anything yet, they’ll use their accusations as a reason to start now.
13. Your Sexual Interaction Changes
A few ways that a disloyal spouse might change regarding your sexual interaction. Sometimes a cheater might want interaction just as often, but they’ll change it up. They’ll do things differently than you’re used to, and they might even want to do it more.
However, an unfaithful partner might not want sexual interaction as often as before. It could even cease entirely, which is a serious red flag. The changes could go either way but watch for other signs of infidelity if this is an issue.
14. Their Hobbies Change
While it’s okay to develop new hobbies and passions, a sudden, drastic change doesn’t typically happen. A disloyal spouse might start spending all their time on something they never showed interest in before. It’s not always a bad thing, but if you notice other signs along with it, you should keep an eye out.
If their new hobby requires hours of commitment each day, you might want to consider if they are spending time with someone else. Plus, you might notice that they become evasive and try to change the subject when you ask about their new hobby.
15. Their Appearance Changes
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to dress nice, but a sudden increase in their appearance could be a red flag. Your partner might get their hair trimmed more often, spend more time getting ready, or start buying lots of new clothes. Sometimes, their style will even change altogether when they’re secretly seeing someone else.
Final Thoughts on Signs of a Disloyal Spouse Never to Ignore
If you think you might have a disloyal spouse, watch for these signs to help you figure it out. While portraying one of the signs might not be a big deal, exhibiting multiple signs is a red flag.
You know your partner well, so you’ll notice changes that other people might miss. Don’t miss the warning signs and let things worsen in your relationship. Finding out about a disloyal spouse is the beginning of your next chapter.