How To Build Intimacy In Your Relationship, According To Relationship Experts

How To Build Intimacy In Your Relationship, According To Relationship Experts



Intimacy is an essential part of any relationship. Whether you are just beginning something new, or you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s important to make a habit of building this intimate bond between yourself and your partner. While many assume intimacy comes naturally in any relationship, it is something that must be cultivated over time.

Growing Intimacy in Relationships

As humans, we all have the desire and innate need to be close with others. In a relationship, this intimacy is much more than sex. Couples must build their own form of long-term intimacy that allows them to feel loved, valued, and understood. This closeness keeps their bond strong and allows the relationship to keep moving forward.

Looking for ways to grow intimacy in a relationship? Keep reading.


1. Start with Gratitude

Building intimacy in a relationship starts by showing your partner that you are thankful for them. This gratitude can be expressed through heartfelt “thank yous” but should also be shown in the way that you treat your partner.

This kind of gratitude should be exhibited everyday. Do this by letting your partner know how grateful you are to have them in your life. During quiet moments, take time to reflect on the memories that brought you closer together. Think about the first time you met, your first time being physically intimate, and anything else that re-awakens feelings of love and thankfulness for your partner.

2. Learn to Be More Open

If openness isn’t easy for you, you’ll have to work on this as you aim to become more intimate with your partner. Even the most private of people need to be able to open up their lives, emotions, and innermost thoughts with their partner. While this may not be easy, it is essential for partners that are hoping to grow closer to each other.


3. Practice Honesty

In addition to this openness, it’s equally as important to be honest with your significant other. Yes, there may be things about yourself that you may not want to share, but without honesty, there will always be a barrier between you and your partner.

Truly feeling intimate requires that you are “naked” with your partner. By holding nothing back, you’ll be able to experience a closeness like nothing else you’ve felt before.

4. Try to Comfort Your Partner

We all have different love languages. As you work to build an intimate bond between each other, you and your partner will need to learn each other’s love language. While we all find different things to be comforting, every person needs someone in their corner that will support them and show up for them.

Where most couples go wrong in creating intimate feelings is failing to understand how to act with their partners when things aren’t going well. Each person may respond positively or negatively to certain actions, so it’s important to learn how to treat your partner.

5. Be Practical About Your Relationship

Yes, there are moments where relationships rival the best scenes in our favorite romantic comedies, but when it comes to long-term intimate bonds, we must be practical.


The truth is that intimate feelings can be found in the simplest of things. Practical things like creating a budget together or going over plans for the future can make you feel completed bonded to your partner in ways that no rom-com love story could.

6. Talk About How You Grew Up

While you may not think sharing about your childhood as a way to build an intimate bond, it is an excellent opportunity for you to establish an intimate bond with your partner.

Going over all the joy and pain you felt growing up will give your partners a certain insight into your mind, allowing them to understood how you grew into the adult you are now.

7. Discuss Self-Improvement

Just as self-improvement helps us grow closer to ourselves, discussing self-improvement as a couple will help both partners improve their sense of intimacy. Begin this discussion by talking about how you’ve watched your partner grow, telling them how proud you are of them.

Just as we all need to actively pursue self improvement, it is necessary for couples to intentionally push their relationships to the point where they can grow even more.

When discussing self-improvement for your relationship, start by having a conversation about certain things you’ve been thinking about but have been hesitant to talk about. These things can include a fear of judgement, being misunderstood, or not feeling like you are being valued the way you should be.

8. Listen to Each Other More

Growing closer to each other doesn’t always need to be a complex and emotionally heavy experience. Simply encouraging your partner to talk to you will bring you both closer to each other.

During this kind of conversation, it’s important to completely focus on one another. Oftentimes, having a conversation about basic everyday things will lead to even deeper conversations.


9. Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability isn’t comfortable to experience, but it is a shortcut to becoming intimate with your partner. As you get to know someone, you’ll begin to become more and more vulnerable.

With a long-term partner, it can be easy to forget this vulnerability that you initially had in the beginning of the relationship. As you aim to become more vulnerable, it is important to ensure that your partner does the same. A relationship where vulnerability
is one-sided is one that is unhealthy.

10. Ask Questions

Being inquisitive will naturally lead you to know more about your partner. Whether you’ve known your significant other for a while or you just started dating, your partner is an individual that you will never stop learning about. Just as you are always changing, so is your partner.

Keep asking questions as you grow closer in your relationship. These questions will serve as a way to keep you in tune with your partner’s innermost thoughts and feelings.

11. Practice All Forms of Intimacy

While intimacy is more than just sex, there are various types of intimate bonds. By tying in all forms, you’ll find that you are closer to your partner than you’ve ever been:



  • Physical
  • Intellectual
  • Emotional

Every aspect of being intimate is needed for you to grow closer to your partner. Many experts suggest that appreciating and talking about all three forms of becoming intimate is the best way for couples to improve their understanding of them.

Going back to expressing gratitude, showing your partner that you are thankful for how they touch you, how they make you feel, and how they understand you on an intellectual level will strengthen these intimate feelings in them.

12. Tell Your Partner That You Love Them and Why

Whether this is stroking your partner’s ego or not, it’s always nice to hear all the reasons that someone loves you.

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